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Alastor poked the proverbial bear enough times, why didn't the King try and smite him?
When the truth comes out, Lucifer thought he'd tell all of Pride. Instead Alastor enjoyed his new toy.
Until Lucifer snapped at the wrong thing said. Now Alastor finds himself in the King's bed.
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“The King of Hell’s annual rut is coming soon. I’ve decided to take myself off of the list of candidates once and for all. In order to do that, I need an Alpha to knot me. We enjoy one another’s company well enough, and you seem the sort to do an admirable job of it.”
More importantly, Lu Morgenstern seemed the sort Alastor could maneuver as he saw fit.
“All this so you can potentially avoid the honor of lying with the King of Hell during his rut?”
He rolled his eyes. “Yes, because being stripped down to nothing but my secondary gender and being selected as the next virgin sacrifice to be deflowered by the Devil himself is such an honor.”
Lu absently tapped a finger where his hand had come to rest on top of his desk. “You don’t believe it is? I’ve heard the Omega selected is handsomely compensated for their time.”
“Which makes it rather a lot like prostitution, wouldn’t you agree?”
“Yet here you are, offering yourself up to me for free.”
AKA
Alastor needs to get rid of his pesky v-card, or risk conjugal jury duty interrupting his research. Too bad the Alpha he propositions is the very devil he’s trying to avoid…
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In no particular order whatsoever, Lucifer is given a strange bag by his recently-back-on-talking-terms brothers, plagued by weird dreams that keeps him up every night, and about to face the hellscape (hah, get it?) that is Heaven after ten thousand odd years of being barred from entering the pearly gates.
When a string of odd circumstances inevitably leads him on a detective hunt through Heaven, Lucifer must not only deal with the fallout of his past mistakes, but also face long-forgotten rivals as well as countless buried truths of the past regarding…well, everything. It is no easy task, but since when has his life ever been easy, anyway?
Oh, and there is also the rather inconvenient fact that the odds of Heaven and Hell breaking into all-out war might have just reached an all time high for the first time since Creation happened. He’d really have to hurry up if he didn’t want all of God’s creations to end up killing each other because of an ill-conceived plot.
Series
- Part 3 of A Divinely, Heavenly Comedy
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A Celestial Prelude of Questions and Answers by undead_vosnian
Fandoms: Hazbin Hotel (Cartoon)
25 Mar 2024
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After too many rounds of discussions between Lucifer and Heaven, most of which having involved no less than: many yelling matches, too many tables being flipped, and just a few song numbers too many…it was finally done. Heaven would give the Hazbin Hotel one chance to show them what it’s got.
The only problem? They decided to send God’s most beloved angels down for the inspection.
The other problem? Said angels were Lucifer’s very, very estranged siblings. His very, very estranged siblings who were also responsible for his Fall all those years ago.
The other, other problem? They didn’t seem to hate him as much as he thought they should. This…complicated things. A lot.
Series
- Part 2 of A Divinely, Heavenly Comedy
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 67,144
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Comments:
- 282
- Kudos:
- 1,623
- Bookmarks:
- 369
- Hits:
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Bookmarked by BasilSaurus95
12 Feb 2026
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Bookmarker's Notes
They were standing on an archway. There were plenty of archways in Heaven. Some were gilded, others were plain, but they all shared a thing in common: they soared to majestic heights, and easily dwarfed all heavenfolk with their sheer size.
They also made for perfectly long drops.
The two figures inched closer. He found himself scrabbling to scoot backwards frantically. His wings were pressed tightly against his back, quivering and drawn.
“I-I’ll go down myself, I swear!” He tried again, drawing his arms tighter over his injured torso. Another movement backwards. “I won’t cause anymore trouble, please! I promise!”
“The Council’s word is the law, Samael.” The blue one said, voice as hard as stone and giving not a single emotion away. The sword in his hand pulsed with a blue, celestial glow as he spoke. “You are to be stripped of your wings, and thrown down. Do not try to make this more difficult than it should be.”
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Not a single being in Creation, aside from the archangels and God himself, can gaze upon Lucifer Morningstar's true angelic form.
Alastor has never done well with being told 'no', and tests the bounds of angelic law in any way he can.
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When Heaven hosts an experimental lottery in an attempt to redeem one of the worst souls on Earth, Alastor is the lucky someone who gets assigned a guiding light to see him on his pathway to redemption. Despite their differences, he and Lucifer must work together to save them both from eternal damnation.
What could go wrong?
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The devil is not what Alastor imagined.
He’s short, for one, and strangely doll-like. A porcelain doll given life, looking back at Alastor with glowing red-and-gold eyes. Just enough like a person to be both familiar and unsettling at once, and not even remotely in keeping with the imagery Alastor has seen all his life.
But all of that pales in comparison to the conundrum of his personality.
Or: Alastor tries to sell his soul to Lucifer. It does not go as planned.
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“Would you love me if i was a fly?”
The words almost fell on deaf ears to the deer.
“Pardon?”
He asked, slight confusion seizing on his face. “Nothing!” Lucifer shook his head like he wanted to erase whatever thought was swimming through his brain, before walking up to the table as well to sit next to Alastor.
“Alright then”
or
Literally a ‘would you love me if i was a worm’ situation between radioapple; except they never really ask the worm question..
or
a self-indulgent fic inspired by the radioapple animation “would you still love me if i was…?” by alloplush on yt!
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After seven years, Heaven has learned of Lucifer's divorce from Lilith. Knowing of Lucifer's reputation as an 'absent king' and fearing a destabilized Hell, they decide to gift him with a new bride - an angel of their own to distract him and keep an eye on him; a puppet. He is gifted Alastor, Heaven's least favourite angel, to be the sacrificial lamb in the Devil's marriage bed.
Alastor was never sure how he made it past the pearly gates, but he's swallowed down his bitterness to be a gentleman and avoid putting shame on his mother's name in Heaven. Now promised to another against his will, Alastor resolves not to go quietly into marital servitude.
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“I can grant you the power you’re after, more than you can even wrap your head around right now. I can ensure that you’re the most powerful Sinner in Hell once you find your way here - because you’re definitely going to find your way here.”
Alastor’s heart leapt in his chest even as those hands raised goose pimples over his skin.
“But, I don’t hand out this kind of thing for free. In return, I require something of you.”
~*~
When Alastor reached through the veil hoping to make a deal, he didn't find a dapper cannibal with a devious smile, but instead a very, very intrigued Lucifer with an entirely different agreement...
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Summary
The past month with Alastor had been some of the best in Lucifer’s obnoxiously long existence.
Lucifer decided to help Alastor out during his rut, and, since then, the two seemed to spend more time together than they ever had before. Absolutely nothing could ruin their budding relationship.
Lucifer just isn’t sure why he’s felt so sick recently.
Bookmarked by BasilSaurus95
08 Feb 2026
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Bookmarker's Notes
"Johnny lied, you know," he mused, pressing his forehead to Alastor's, "I beat his ass. I just didn't need the kid's soul, I just wanted to get out of the house."
"And you picked Georgia?" Alastor asked, grinning as he twirled a strand of golden hair around his claw.
"Better than Hell," Lucifer shrugged, leaning into Alastor's touch.
At that, Alastor raised an eyebrow.
"Is it?" He asked, kissing his nose.
"No," Lucifer admitted, flushing, "now keep talking about how great I am."
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Summary
Alastor, being trapped in the Vees tower, has nothing to do but sit, spin, and listen as his plan slowly unravels.
Velvette, being constantly sidelined, frustrated and irritated with Vox's ever-inflating ego, needs someone to yap to.
These two end up having a small chat, and end up finding out a few things they can both relate to.
or,
Tea time turns into trauma dumping.
Bookmarked by BasilSaurus95
07 Feb 2026
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Bookmarker's Notes
"So......this is a telephone...picture box...AND video camera? All in one?"
Alastor, now free of his binds for some reason, was sat at a proper table with a tea cup and plate in hand, sipping from it as he leaned over the doll demon's shoulder, who'd been explaining the concept of this....portable cellular device. It was all so confusing, and he still found himself disliking the complexity, but he humoured her.
"Yep. The thing actually still runs on those radio waves. Most of the stuff does."
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Lucifer Morningstar has not experienced one of his angelic heats in over a decade. In all honesty, he thought himself entirely rid of them after Lilith walked out and left him with nothing but memories and heartache.
He was wrong.
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What if Alastor had been present for Charlie's blow up at her father and witnessed Lucifer cowering behind the couch?
A little emotional hurt/comfort fic to heal the Lucifer feels
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Vox throws an employee party the night before the soirée to show off his new conquest! Lucifer is paraded around like a prized mare and walking advertisement for the Vee's while Alastor watches from the sidelines. But things escalate as tensions rise between overlords and the king's safety is threatened. How far will the radio demon go before he intervenes.
Bookmarked by BasilSaurus95
05 Feb 2026
Bookmarker's Tags:
Bookmarker's Notes
Surely the first sin was not committed in the garden of Eden. But in Heaven, after God made his favorite son the most beautiful, the Morning Star, and upon seeing his own reflection a trickle of sin corrupted one of the first angels. Pride.
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I'll write an anthem worth repeating// by Ainskelion
Fandoms: Hazbin Hotel (Cartoon), Helluva Boss (Web Series)
09 Feb 2024
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Summary
"To Debauchery at Her Majesty’s request," he raises the phial in a toast.
Her eyes glitter darkly as she smirks. She opens her mouth to take him in and he tilts the phial to his mouth, watching her through heavy lidded eyes.
//
Lilith brings home a potion from the Lust Ring which leads to a very unintended consequence for the King of Hell. Does it still count as an eldritch nightmare coming out of his body, within an hour of conception, if she's the most adorable thing he's ever seen?
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"Why are you doing this..?"
The Radio demon grinned. "Because someone needs to remind you that you are the Morning Star."
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The battle with the Vees leaves the unresolved tensions of heaven and hell, the king and an Overlord, and the mind of Lucifer that seems to be trying to tear itself apart from the inside out. The only thing holding him together? An unexpected hand from the Radio Demon.
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you are the drought & i am the holy water you have been without by the tortured porn department (reaofsunshine28)
Fandoms: Hazbin Hotel (Cartoon)
17 Dec 2025
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Summary
Charlie has been receiving baptism regularly for the past almost-four years now, and just now realizes it. Or, how Vaggie finds out she should go to the gym more often.
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Heaven was supposedly perfect for everyone.
That didn't seem quite true in Charlie's opinion. It was too cold, and too bright and way too quiet. Maybe the stories had been wrong? Maybe it was just her? Despite, she was looking forward to exploring Heaven.
It was gonna be great. -
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Summary
Charlie has always known she was different from other people. Not because she's half angel and half demon, or because she's the princess of hell, or anything like that. She's just always been different. Weird. Wrong.
No matter how hard she tries to pretend, she isn't like everyone else. Lucky for her that her friends don't mind helping her figure out why she's like this!
Or
6 times someone noticed something weird about Charlie and 1 time Charlie finally realizes she's autistic (and also unpacks some of her mommy issues)
Series