Chamonix272



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Missing Chris is less of an emotion these days and more of a physical entity. He’s sure everyone can see that he’s slowly hollowing himself out, that he can’t do much of anything else.

    But when Jee laughs at him trying to get his tongue to touch his nose, and Mara loops one of her arms through his to keep him from tossing the rest of his cup in the garbage, Eddie feels solid again.

    Maybe he likes yellow birthday cake ice cream after all.

     

    (or, gerrard messes with the team's schedules and eddie 'i just drove my son to flee the state' diaz is the only option to watch mara and jee-yun after school on tuesdays, which, shouldn't be a problem at all, right?)

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    1/1
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    18 Feb 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “I'm gay.”

    He's looking at his feet, because he hasn't quite come to terms with the fact that he's saying this in a room where other people, strangers, can hear it.

    But this is still the first time he's said it this way: out loud, in a declarative sentence. Being nervous is fine. Frank said that being nervous is fine, and Buck just said he's proud, and the only thought Eddie has in his head is that it's embarrassing he can't raise his head and say it like a man, so clearly, he's going to need to hang on to other people's words for the time being, someone who isn't his dad trying to explain the ways Eddie's allowed to inhabit the world.

    He doesn't need to ask anyone's permission to be who he is. That's also a thing Frank said.

    in which eddie attends a self-empowerment group for gbtq men to supplement his therapy, and is empowered to: forgive himself, say "i'm gay" to his own reflection in the mirror, accidentally adopt an adult, make fried rice, and tell his straight best friend that he's in love with him. not necessarily in that order.

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    01 Jan 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    He broke Buck’s heart.

    He knows it. Knows it like he knows the weight of his own turnout gear, like he knows the precise way to steady himself when the ground gives way beneath him. It’s a fact, a simple and devastating truth that follows him everywhere, no matter how much distance he puts between them.

    What happened in that bathroom, Buck pushing him against the door, kissing him like it was the only way to make sure it had been real, that wasn’t some desperate attempt to get Eddie to come back. It wasn’t even about convincing Eddie to be with him, not really. It was Buck needing to know, to feel it, to confirm that Eddie had been there, that Eddie had wanted it, that it hadn’t all been some fever dream conjured up by his hopelessly romantic, self destructive heart.

    And, maybe, just a little, it was about hurting Eddie because Eddie hurt him first. Which, God, isn’t that just heartbreaking?

    Or; Eddie and Buck have sex the night before he moves back to El Paso for good.

    Each chapter follows a year in Eddie’s life as he makes his way back to Buck.

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    29 Dec 2025

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Dean takes a really, really long drive to kick fear in the ass. It might just be the best thing he ever decides to do.

    ~~~

    The seat squeaks, and Dean follows the sound, his gaze trailing down. There—where Jack sat moments ago—is a much tinier version of him. He looks mostly the same, just...smaller and more dimply and cuter, if that's possible. His clothes have shrunk to fit him, so he's casually sitting in a t-shirt, jeans, and scuffed tennis shoes. He swings his feet from side-to-side over the edge of Baby's seat the same way Sam used to in the back, and he stares up at Dean with clear eyes. 

    "Oh," Dean blurts out, eyes bulging, "Cas is going to fucking kill me." 

    Language:
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    17 Dec 2025

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    He feels like shit when he's hungry, and he plays better when he's empty. The cold air doesn't touch him as much. The floodlights turn silvery-soft.
    And he likes eating. Keeps his hands busy, mouth busy, mind busy. Something to chew through, putty in the ears.
    Go until he can't anymore. Cycle it back out. Be ready.

    --

    OR: Buck's had on-again, off-again bulimia since he was 14.

    --

    Title from Psychic Friend's "We Do Not Belong".

    Language:
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    40/40
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    26 Nov 2025