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“No, you senile old man.” His body sank further. Lucifer didn’t move at the insult. “No one knows how to deal with what I’ve got here.” He spread his legs to prove his point, gesturing with both hands toward his groin. “None of those Paleolithic primitives can make me orgasm.”
“Excuse me?”
“No matter how many guys I sleep with, they’re incapable of making me come.”
Or: a sexually frustrated and very drunk Alastor asks for help from the only person available — his landlord, who just happens to be twenty years older.
It’s a shame alcohol doesn’t plan for the long term.
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There was an angel so egocentric that he was always fated to fall.
Samael has existed since the beginning of time, the last archangel created, the first Seraphin.
The first fallen.
They say that Lucifer was responsible for corrupting humanity, releasing evil out of pure envy and pride, an angel who longed so much to be the best that he could not endure the idea of God having other creations.
But it was not Lucifer who walked through Heaven. It was not Lucifer who felt pride. It was not Lucifer who sinned. Lucifer is a consequence of the actions taken by the one everyone believed to be the purest angel who ever existed.
Samael was never innocent, never a perfect angel. Lucifer never corrupted Samael, Samael created Lucifer.
It is so easy to blame the Devil, but what happens when the guilty one is an Angel?
(After the explosion of Vox’s lightning, Lucifer and Samael are separated. For the first time, Hell would know the one who created it — true pride.)
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Choose the easiest path (no matter what you lose in the process). by Happy_Dreams
Fandoms: Hazbin Hotel (Cartoon)
07 Jan 2026
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“They are suffering.” The plea was weak.
“I am suffering,” he declared, striking his hands against his own chest. “I’m at the very bottom of the pit like everyone else. I can’t defend myself. There’s no one here who can understand me, and my own daughter prefers filthy sinners over her own father.”
Charlie receives a letter from Heaven. They agree to help her with the hotel—on one condition: Lucifer cannot stay at the hotel.
Charlie makes the wrong choice.
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“You bought me a present? For me?” His face twisted, brows knitting in confusion, incredulous as if God Himself had declared that he should return to Heaven. “You?” he repeated.
“Well, isn’t that the whole point of Christmas?” A fake audience laughed at his comment. “Giving a gift to someone you love. Even if I can’t quite understand why I put up with you.” He added quickly, one ear twitching.
Slowly, the ball came undone, revealing a pair of tiny black eyes and a flat orange beak. Minuscule wings fluttered at the sight of the Angel.
A duck.
Alastor had given him a duck.
(What do you give someone who has been alive since the beginning of time? Alastor found the answer.)
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"Protect my only heir. Protect Charlotte with your life if necessary." There was no room for doubt, an order spoken by the Devil himself.
Alastor did not flinch; if anything, his smile grew even wider.
"As Your Highness wishes."
Charlie just wanted to run her hotel, redeem sinners, and reach an agreement with Heaven. Reuniting with her father after ten years and starting a war was not part of her plans. But when Hell is kind?
Recent series
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The sins we forgive by Happy_Dreams
Fandom 七つの大罪 - 鈴木央 | Nanatsu no Taizai | The Seven Deadly Sins - Suzuki Nakaba (Anime & Manga)
21 Jul 2025
Summary
Canaries from Nanatsu no Taizai that I imagined over the years. I just wanted them to act like the family I know they are.
- Words:
- 7,032
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 6
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Summary
A universe where there are no superheroes. They are simply a family, brothers.
- Words:
- 6,009
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 5

