1 - 20 of 23 Bookmarks by HelpCrowleysPlants
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Arishat meets the man right away.
He’s wearing Roman armour and the sight of it almost makes her scream; she wants to groan. Wants to shout. Wants to attack him with her bare hands, but when she shifts, her body coiling into itself, a bowstring ready to snap, it sends a wave of pain and nausea through her, and-
Right.
The battle.in which Arishat and Maximus meet in the afterlife
Bookmarked by HelpCrowleysPlants
09 Jul 2025
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Chapman cleared his throat. “I say, Rudyard,” he said. “You look like you haven’t been sleeping all that well lately.”
The worst part, Rudyard thought irritably, was that he didn’t even look down at his script while saying it. He’d already memorised the bloody lines.
“Yes, well I haven’t,” Rudyard read slightly woodenly from his script. “I’ve been sleeping on a mattress filled with straw and old bicycles. Hold on-” Rudyard lowered the script and shot Jennifer Delacroix an annoyed look. “Why am I the one sleeping on the junk mattress? Can’t I have the good one?”
In an attempt to rescue the state of Funn Funerals' finances, Rudyard agrees to do a mattress advertisement for Piffling FM. He wasn't expecting to be co-starring alongside Eric Chapman - or for there to be a er, practical element to the ad spot. And to make things worse, there's only one mattress...
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After an accident at Chapman's, Funn Funerals find themselves down an undertaker with mere days left of their temporary monopoly. Eric is, somehow, having a worse week than they are.
Chapman gains an uninvited houseguest; Antigone relives several experiences she'd rather not; Rudyard discovers he doesn't need a body to be a nuisance. A haunting has come to Piffling Vale, and no one wants to be there—least of all the ghost.
Bookmarked by HelpCrowleysPlants
15 Oct 2024
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There were a variety of reactions when Rudyard broke the news. Antigone was at a loss for words in her disbelief, communicating through incredulous syllables and exasperated looks. Georgie just gave a knowing smile, which Rudyard found confusing and vaguely unsettling. And Chapman... well, he was there, too. Which was completely irrelevant.
Bookmarked by HelpCrowleysPlants
15 Oct 2024
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Hidden in the English Channel there is an island called Piffling. On the island, there is a town called Piffling Vale.
Six months after our settlement earning its township, life in Piffling remains mostly undisturbed and - to a great extent - the same as before. It is as if a large part of the 21st century marked the single mile of Piffling as out of bounds.
But you can't avoid change forever. And, at long last, it has come to Piffling Vale. Things will never be the same again. And no one knows that better than Rudyard Funn, whose feud with his immensely popular rival, Eric Chapman, was the first thing to stir up changes in our town's tepid life.
Chapman brought with him variety, excitement and a chance for everyone to enjoy themselves. And while his practice remains the favoured funeral home for many, Rudyard is quietly confident that a busy and thriving town like Piffling can easily support two funeral homes.
So it's a real pity that we are getting shut down now!
Yes, you see, Rudyard Funn used to run a funeral home in the town of Piffling Vale.
He doesn't anymore.
Bookmarked by HelpCrowleysPlants
15 Oct 2024
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I'm Your Savior by 14CombatGeishas for daniel-jacobi on tumblr
Fandoms: Wolf 359 (Radio)
24 Dec 2016
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After an SI-5 mission goes FUBAR Jacobi's job -- and life -- hang in the balance. Maxwell is determined to save him. Cutter doesn't know if it's worth the resources. And Kepler? It's hard to say just whose side he's on.
Plus, an extremely determined and destructive bee, exploding ketchup bottles, "and my poor fool is hanged," a benzene molecule, Jaws: The Revenge, Maxwell's feet, a sentient microwave, and Rocobi.
Series
- Part 1 of Misadventures of the SI-5's Best Agents
Bookmarked by HelpCrowleysPlants
26 Sep 2024
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There is a single split second where Stede is excited. In that moment, he’s imagining himself getting a chance to have a baby with Ed— Ed, half-Ed, half-him— and the idea of it thrills him like absolutely nothing else.
The next second, he can hear Ed’s voice telling him their night together was a mistake.
This is a mistake, Stede can hear so clearly in the theater of his mind. Ed’s voice, in the shapes and sounds he’s heard it create before, born from his memory. You are a mistake.
How can he tell Ed that they made a baby when Ed decided he didn’t even want to make love?
Series
- Part 1 of heart and soul
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Juno Steel and the Stolen Thief by Mary Reed (Mary_Reed), Mary_Reed, rarepersimmon, this_is_a_podcast_fanblog
Fandoms: The Penumbra Podcast
27 Jun 2019
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This heist was supposed to be quick. Not even a heist as much as a stop, really. Mostly to refuel the ship on the way to a larger planet, but they might as well try to nab the data while they were at it. What could go wrong?
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When Dark Matters kidnaps Nureyev, Juno and the crew find themselves at the center of a complex mission that draws them back to the very planet they hoped to forget... and some of the people they left behind there.Series
Bookmarked by HelpCrowleysPlants
22 May 2022
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I have never seen him in such a vulnerable state, he would never let this happen normally. The Peter Ransom I’ve grown to known over the past year and a half is agile and skilled and intelligent. So, finding him like this was quite the surprise.
Bookmarked by HelpCrowleysPlants
24 Mar 2022
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who knows where this road may go by Zannolin for AWalkingParadox
Fandoms: The Penumbra Podcast
24 Jan 2021
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It has been ten years since the old regime of Hyperion City fell, taking with it the Empress Sarah Steel and one of her sons. The remaining heir, Benzaiten Steel, resides in exile as rumors swirl under the new Theia party of the princess's survival. One Peter Ransom plans to use those fairytales to his advantage—and he's found just the lady to do it.
(or, the penumbra podcast anastasia au i've daydreamed about forever.)
Bookmarked by HelpCrowleysPlants
19 Mar 2022
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Omar Khan and the terrible horrible no good very bad vacation by magznus
Fandoms: The Penumbra Podcast
05 Aug 2020
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Omar Khan needs a vacation, and boy does he get one.
Join everyone's favorite martin cop as he does his best to relax
(Spoiler alert, it's not gonna go well)Series
- Part 5 of TPP
Bookmarked by HelpCrowleysPlants
12 Mar 2022
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A boy named Shan gets cursed with something no creature would ask for. His life is constantly bouncing back and forth between pleasure and stress. Not pain, stress.
Series
- Part 3 of Domination
- Part 3 of Pregnant Catastrophe
Bookmarked by HelpCrowleysPlants
20 May 2021
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Taako Yuno-Fromtivi and the End of Days by onArete
Fandoms: The Adventure Zone (Podcast), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
01 Nov 2019
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One year left on the Plane of Magic. Six crew members still alive. Seven horcruxes to destroy. Four hundred students to protect. One very fucking long con to play.
Taako remains at Hogwarts, hiding in plain sight as a loyal Death Eater. He's got one year to do what he can.
Series
- Part 7 of The Most Powerfully Magic Number
Bookmarked by HelpCrowleysPlants
26 Jan 2021
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Melitele looked at her child, her beautiful songbird, whose heart was full of love for the Witcher. She saw also all his pain and suffering and decided that enough was enough. Her boy will have someone to love and who will love him in return even if it’s not the White Wolf. After all, it’s not her fault that he can’t recognize a blessing when she send him one.
Bookmarked by HelpCrowleysPlants
24 Jan 2021
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Everything We Never Had by melaniatrump
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher (TV)
17 Jul 2023
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Geralt and Jaskier are the proud fathers of a happy, curious four-year-old. It’s wonderful, but like all good parents do, they worry about whether or not they’re messing up their kid. Geralt is concerned that their daughter is missing out on a chance at a normal life, meanwhile Jaskier fears exposing her to the rigidity and humdrum of a conventional upbringing. A trip to meet with Jaskier's estranged family helps them come to an understanding.
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Geraskier domestic fluffery interspersed with the story of how the two went from friends to lovers to devoted parents. Little bit of rational big sister Ciri, little bit of Auntie Triss, and a whole lotta cherry-picked cannon (mostly games + show). Completed after a long hiatus.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 50,896
- Chapters:
- 13/13
- Comments:
- 101
- Kudos:
- 564
- Bookmarks:
- 141
- Hits:
- 12,361
Bookmarked by HelpCrowleysPlants
20 Jan 2021
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Bookmarked by HelpCrowleysPlants
18 Jan 2021
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After he had split ways with Sazed, all those years ago, Taako had gotten low on cash and "donated" some of his blood to a clinic that bought and sold "magical" blood. Since he was an elf, he was in and out in less than a half-hour, out of a pint of blood but fifty gold richer.
He never thought he'd run into the darker side of the blood trade years later.(TL;DR Taako and Angus go out to the town on magic day and get surprised by blood hunters. Everyone worries about Taako, especially Angus. Yeah. This is basically Taako angst I don't know what else to tell you. I'll probably rename later.)
Series
- Part 1 of Blood Bank AU (BBAU)
Bookmarked by HelpCrowleysPlants
15 Dec 2020
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Angus McDonald and the Mysterious Murder by Infinite_Finals_Week
Fandoms: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
15 Aug 2020
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Angus McDonald is Faerun's twelve-year-old star detective. His family also happens to be emissaries of the Raven Queen, and every night around the dinner table, Angus helps them solve their most baffling death crimes.
One day, though, Angus himself ends up dead, and it's up to all of them to try to figure out who the culprit might be - it’s classic Angus McDonald!Bookmarked by HelpCrowleysPlants
04 Dec 2020
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The Raven Queen realizes she needs to make some changes in her domain — the only problem is figuring out how. The obvious solution? Infiltrate her own workplace, disguised as a reaper. No one will suspect a thing.
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Before Kravitz can say a word, though, Lup finds where Barry is looking. He sees the recognition in her eyes, and without a beat, she crows, “Whoa! Who’s the hot babe?”
Kravitz’s soul? Dust. He’s going to retire to the astral sea, thank you.
Bookmarked by HelpCrowleysPlants
04 Dec 2020
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PTA Ineffable Husbands by Peazecatch
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
10 Sep 2020
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After delivering the Antichrist, Crowley has a change of heart and decides to go back and steal the Antichrist. The problem is, he forgets which baby is the Antichrist and ends up taking the Antichrist and another baby that happened to be at the "hospital" at the same time. Frantic, he turns to Aziraphale for help. Slowly, their relationship grows stronger as they raise two boys. Eventually when the boys are in primary school, Crowley joins the PTA program and his patience is tested with other parents.
Bookmarked by HelpCrowleysPlants
03 Aug 2020