MunchkinOwner
Fandoms
- Vampires SMP (1)
Recent works
-
Tags
- Major Character Death
- Shelby Grace | Shubble
- How Do I Tag
- Not Beta Read
- Mentioned Scott Major | Smajor1995
- Vampire Scott Major | Smajor1995
- Mentioned Jack | Pyroscythe
- Mentioned AvidMC (Video Blogging RPF)
- Mentioned InfiniteDrift (Video Blogging RPF)
- Shelby Grace | Shubble Needs a Hug
- Implied/Referenced Character Death
- Character Death
- i wrote this while sad
- idk how to tag
- I wrote this after watching episode 7
- Post Vampires SMP: Episode 7
- I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping
- not beta read we die like avid
- Vampire Owen | OwengeJuiceTV (Video Blogging RPF) dies
Summary
Shelby gets revenge for Avid.
aka I write Shelby murdering Owen because I physically can't.
aka I'm sad and it's past midnight.
Recent bookmarks
-
- No Archive Warnings Apply
- No Romantic Relationship(s)
- Tommyinnit & BdoubleO100
- Pearl | PearlescentMoon & TommyInnit
- Bdoubleo100 & Tommyinnit
- Ryan | GoodTimesWithScar & TommyInnit
- Charles | Grian & Ryan | GoodTimesWithScar
- impulseSV & TommyInnit
- GeminiTay & impulseSV & Pearl | PearlescentMoon
- GeminiTay & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
- Oliver Brotherhood & Charles | Grian
- Charles | Grian & TommyInnit
- Mumbo Jumbo & TommyInnit
- BdoubleO100 & Rendog
- rendog & tommyinnit
- Xisumavoid & Bdoubleo100
- tommyinnit & tangotek
- John Booko & EthosLab
- ethoslab & tommyinnit
- Charles | Grian & Pearl | PearlescentMoon
- Keralis & Tommyinnit
- Keralis & Xisumavoid
- TommyInnit & Xisumavoid (Video Blogging RPF)
- EthosLab & BdoubleO100
- ZedaphPlays & TommyInnit
- tommyinnit & zedaphplays
- TangoTek & TommyInnit
- Mumbo Jumbo & Grian
- Bdoubleo100 & Ethoslab
- TommyInnit & Phil Watson
- Kinda - Relationship
- Tommyinnit & Xisumavoid
- Joe Hills | joehillssays & TommyInnit
- Zombiecleo & TommyInnit
- Joe Hills & ZombieCleo
- Tommyinnit & Technoblade - Mentioned
- Iskall85 & Tommyinnit
- GeminiTay & Tommyinnit
- GeminiTay & GoodTimesWithScar
- Tommyinnit & Mumbo Jumbo
- TommyInnit & GeminiTay
- GeminiTay & impulseSV
- BDoubleO100 & Xisumavoid
- Hermitcraft Ensemble & TommyInnit
- Clay | Dream & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
- TangoTek & Ranboo
- Ranboo & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
- Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
- Ranboo & TommyInnit
- GoodTimesWithScar & TommyInnit
- John Booko | BdoubleO100
- TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
- EthosLab (Video Blogging RPF)
- Xisumavoid (Video Blogging RPF)
- Pearl | PearlescentMoon
- Ryan | GoodTimesWithScar
- Ryan | GoodTimesWithScar's Cat Jellie
- Charles | Grian
- impulseSV (Video Blogging RPF)
- GeminiTay (Video Blogging RPF)
- TangoTek (Video Blogging RPF)
- Oliver Brotherhood | Mumbo Jumbo
- Rendog (Video Blogging RPF)
- many other mentioned characters
- Arek Lisowski | Keralis
- Kris | ZedaphPlays
- TommyInnit - Mentioned
- ZombieCleo (Video Blogging RPF)
- Joe Hills | joehillssays
- Phil Watson | Philza
- Technoblade - Mentioned
- Viktor | Iskall85
- Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF)
- Katy | FalseSymmetry
- Ranboo - mentioned
- Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF)
- Ghostbur (Dream SMP)
- Jimmy | Solidarity
- Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF)
- Hurt/Comfort
- Hermit Tommyinnit
- TommyInnit Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF)
- confused bdubs
- god I'm so bad at tagging
- I HATE THE REAL NAME TAGS THESE ARE THEIR PERSONAS
- Healing
- healing arc
- And He Gets One!
- cool aunt pearl
- tommy is once again compared to a raccoon
- Light Angst
- Panic Attacks
- Fluff
- hermit!tommy
- confused scar
- like REALLY confused scar
- Comfort
- jellie to the rescue
- all hail jellie
- i'm so bad at tagging sorry
- surely xisuma won't find out
- i hate real name tags
- i am a real name tag hater btw
- impulse is the only one with a brain cell
- tango means well
- protective impulsesv
- Ah yes finally
- Lore - Freeform
- mumbo is the world's dumbest genius
- /pos
- Avian Charles | Grian
- Avian TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
- haha maybe?
- you'll see - Freeform
- bdubs basement is where the party's at
- i miss mumbo jumbo
- Angst
- this one has more angst than the others
- your regularly scheduled shenanigans will continue soon
- when is he not confused at this point
- King Rendog
- Parallels
- don't worry most fics aren't this heavy
- I hate the real name tags
- TommyInnit-centric (Video Blogging RPF)
- more like
- confused xisumavoid
- got you there didnt i
- awkward ethoslab
- etho is SO awkward in this fic
- /endearing
- Touch-Starved TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
- oh yeah you know it
- Heavy Angst
- Dissociation
- guys i'm not gonna lie to you this one is HEAVY
- Angst with a Happy Ending
- IN FATHER IMPULSE WE TRUST
- brief mentions of tubbo - Freeform
- I miss mumbo
- very very very VERY mild suicidal thoughts
- literally a sentence and doesn't have to be interpreted as that
- Crying
- people actually cry in this one
- but surprise it's not tommy
- Dadpulse
- and so does bdubs in this fic
- slightly less awkward etho this time
- dont worry the fluff will come back later i promise
- honestly so does xisuma
- questions are finally getting much needed answers
- zedaph has the brain cell today
- another doozy here
- if anything is in tommy's pov just expect to be super angsty
- physical touch
- Jellie - Freeform
- grian doesn't do well with emotions
- or things he doesn't understand
- sorry if they're a bit ooc i fear i have lost my mojo
- Scars
- oh yeah that's the moneymaker right there
- that needs to become a mainstream tag
- Dog Hybrid Rendog (Video Blogging RPF)
- yippee!!!
- seriously this one is so wholesome
- you guys deserved it
- except there isn't much tommy in this fic
- i'm not sorry though teehee
- the long awaited Hermit MeetingTM
- Possessive Behavior
- just thoughts
- no actual possessive behavior happens it's just thought
- slightly darker than the others sorry
- the hermits are all just one big family
- Charles | Grian Needs a Hug
- and he gets one
- guys i'm so sorry
- xisuma is so awkward
- you guys get a calm and peaceful fic
- as a treat for all that angst
- Discussions of exile
- oh yeah baby
- Guilt
- xisuma feels bad
- calm fic
- it's a bit boring sorry
- detailed descriptions of redstone
- mumbo jumbo eats redstone
- this one is so much comfort guys
- like barely any
- Flower Crowns
- The Joe Hills Law
- literally just 2k words of joe and cleo bickering
- References to Ancient Greek Religion & Lore
- not that much comfort this time
- haha um anyways
- this is just 2.9K words of gem angst
- someone give gem a gun
- Soup Group
- Religion
- Church Prime on Dream SMP (Videos Blogging RPF)
- GeminiTay Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF)
- Deer Hybrid GeminiTay (Video Blogging RPF)
- lore??? like
- actual lore???
- surely not
- give impulse a break
- awkward mumbo jumbo
- poetic descriptions of redstone
- to disguise my own lack of redstone knowledge
- HERMITCRAFT ENSEMBLE & TOMMYINNIT IS A TAG???
- HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS??
- well not really anymore
- Hurt TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
- Avian instincts
- Bird brain instincts
- grian stresses himself into building a nest for scar
- don't ask for logic i just wanted to write desertduo
- yeah this is where the hurt part comes in
- nests!
- desertduo my beloved
- Hurt No Comfort
- temporarily
- oh god i have never used that tag before
- Scared TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
- Blood
- BAMF FalseSymmetry
- why isnt that a tag
- Please read beginning notes for trigger warnings
- This One Is Dark
- Humor
- RANBOO IS HERE LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
- They/Them Pronouns for Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF)
- BAMF Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF)
- but also not really
- he's still a wuss but also badass at the same time
- if that makes sense
- the calm before the storm
- Villain Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF)
- Rescue Missions
- he is saved!!!
- multiple actually
- mentions of tubbo and michael
- Goodbyes
- dream gets absolutely curbstomped LMAO
- L + ratio bozo
- It's the end
- Finally
- Epilogue
- cybernetic wing
- Happy Tommyinnit
- mentions of third life
- and double life
Summary
The hermits discover a boy who is lost and hurting, and they make it their mission to help and heal.
And, who knows, maybe they'll help each other heal, as well.
- Words:
- 56,471
- Works:
- 24
- Bookmarks:
- 488
Bookmarked by MunchkinOwner
30 Nov 2025
-
If I were Someplace Else, would this be Easier? by Un_Inspired
Fandom Dream SMP, Hermitcraft SMP, Minecraft (Video Game), Phasmophobia (Video Game)
- Teen And Up Audiences, Not Rated, General Audiences
- Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
- Gen
- Complete Series
16 Apr 2024
- Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
- No Archive Warnings Apply
- Hermitcraft Ensemble & TommyInnit
- TommyInnit & Xisumavoid (Video Blogging RPF)
- Tommyinnit & Zombiecleo (Video Blogging RPF)
- Charles | Grian & TommyInnit
- Pearl | PearlescentMoon & TommyInnit
- Charles | Grian & Pearl | PearlescentMoon
- Katy | FalseSymmetry & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
- TangoTek & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
- Steffen Mössner | Docm77 & TommyInnit
- Clay | Dream & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
- TommyInnit & Kristin Rosales Watson
- GeminiTay & impulseSV & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
- Skizzleman & TommyInnit
- impulseSV & Skizzleman (Video Blogging RPF)
- Hermitcraft Ensemble & Scott Major | Smajor1995
- Dream SMP Ensemble & Scott Major | Smajor1995
- Technoblade & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
- TangoTek & Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF)
- TangoTek & Xisumavoid (Video Blogging RPF)
- Steffen Mössner | Docm77 & Technoblade
- Technoblade & ZombieCleo (Video Blogging RPF)
- Charles | Grian & Technoblade
- impulseSV & Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF)
- EthosLab & Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF)
- TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
- Ryan | GoodTimesWithScar
- Xisumavoid (Video Blogging RPF)
- Joe Hills | joehillssays
- Pearl | PearlescentMoon
- GeminiTay (Video Blogging RPF)
- TangoTek (Video Blogging RPF)
- Katy | FalseSymmetry
- ZombieCleo (Video Blogging RPF)
- EthosLab (Video Blogging RPF)
- Steffen Mössner | Docm77
- Natalie Arnold | StressMonster101
- Charles | Grian
- impulseSV (Video Blogging RPF)
- Rendog (Video Blogging RPF)
- Kristin Rosales Watson
- Scott Major | Smajor1995
- Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF)
- Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF)
- Phil Watson | Philza
- Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF)
- Alexis | Quackity
- Wilbur Soot
- Sam | Awesamdude
- Skizzleman (Video Blogging RPF)
- Canon-Typical Violence
- Hurt/Comfort
- TommyInnit Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF)
- TommyInnit Gets a Hug (Video Blogging RPF)
- Watcher Charles | Grian
- Winged Charles | Grian
- Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
- Loss of Limbs
- Touch-Starved TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
- Dadsuma
- hermit!tommy
- Temporary Character Death
- (A good bit of it tbh)
- Found Family
- Empires SMP Season 2
- Hermitcraft Ensemble on Empires SMP Server
- Injury
- Broken Bones
- Clay | Dream Redemption (Video Blogging RPF)
- Breaking and Entering
- sorta - Freeform
- saving the dreamsmp members
- Dreamon Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF)
- dreamon possession that is
- Clay | Dream & TommyInnit in Pandora's Vault Prison (Video Blogging RPF)
- Manipulation
- not a lot of it tbh
- Amnesia
- ranboo is a sweetheart
- Enderman Hybrid Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF)
- Duck Hybrid Alexis | Quackity
- Angel Skizzleman (Video Blogging RPF)
- Demon impulseSV (Video Blogging RPF)
- Avian TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
- Deer Hybrid GeminiTay (Video Blogging RPF)
- Angst
- Emotional Hurt/Comfort
- Vomiting
- mentioned but not super graphic
- an odd relationship with death
- Ghosts
- it's phasmo what do you want from me
- Smajor Is Sleep Deprived
- Smajor is done with everyone
- Voidwalker Xisumavoid (Video Blogging RPF)
- Void Creature Smajor
- Void Creature Etho
- Kristin Rosales Watson is Lady Death
- stress and tiredness
- Short One Shot
- 5+1 Things
- Fluff
- Comedy
- Hoglin Hybrid Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF)
- Blaze Hybrid TangoTek (Video Blogging RPF)
- Zombie ZombieCleo (Video Blogging RPF)
- Creeper Hybrid Steffen Mössner | Docm77
- Ex-Watcher Charles | Grian
- kinda a crack fic
- but not really
- Just that Technoblade is absolutely terrifying and all the hermits know it
- Tango is not having a great day
- but to be fair none of the hermits are except X who is just sitting back and watching the chaos
Summary
My take on a personal Hermit Tommy Au, deeply inspired by the hundreds of other Hermit Tommy fic I see floating around.
This is a place for the main fic, the following oneshot I have planned, and maybe some requested oneshots or lore dumps in the same au.- Words:
- 120,169
- Works:
- 5
- Bookmarks:
- 163
Bookmarked by MunchkinOwner
09 Feb 2026
-
The Mafias new Chick by Pink_clover
Fandom Dream SMP, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
- General Audiences, Not Rated
- Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
- Other, F/M
- Series in Progress
08 Dec 2024
- Graphic Depictions Of Violence
- Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
- Alexis | Quackity & TommyInnit
- Alexis | Quackity & Technoblade
- Alexis | Quackity & Phil Watson
- Alexis | Quackity & Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson | Philza
- Alexis | Quackity & Jschlatt
- Alexis | Quackity & Kristin Rosales Watson
- Alexis | Quackity & Phil Watson | Philza
- Kristin Rosales Watson/Phil Watson | Philza
- Alexis | Quackity
- Phil Watson | Philza
- Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF)
- TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
- Wilbur Soot
- Jschlatt (Video Blogging RPF)
- Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF)
- Sam | Awesamdude
- Kristin Rosales Watson
- Dark Sleepy Bois Inc
- Dark Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF)
- Dark Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF)
- Dark Wilbur Soot
- Kid TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
- Alexis | Quackity-centric
- Winged Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF)
- Winged Alexis | Quackity
- Winged TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
- Animal Instincts
- Hybrids
- Piglin Hybrid Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF)
- Piglin Hybrid Wilbur Soot
- Forced adoption
- Touch-Starved Alexis | Quackity
- Alexis | Quackity Needs a Hug
- he gets one
- whether he likes it or not
- Possessive Behavior
- Platonic Relationships
- Alternate universe - Mafia
- Alexis | Quackity is Not Okay
- Alexis | Quackity Gets a Hug
- Kristin hogs all the braincells
- the others are mentioned breifly
- mention of panic attack and PTSD
- Dark Sleepy Bois Inc. (Video Blogging RPF)
- Dark Kristin Rosales Watson
- Dark Phil Watson | Philza
- Words:
- 99,943
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 48
Bookmarked by MunchkinOwner
08 Feb 2026
-
Daddy? dO I LOOK-? by DeadlyHuggles
Fandom Dream SMP, Hermitcraft RPF, Hermitcraft SMP, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
- Teen And Up Audiences, Not Rated, Mature
- No Archive Warnings Apply, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
- Gen
- Series in Progress
12 Mar 2023
- No Archive Warnings Apply
- Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
- Charles | Grian & TommyInnit
- TommyInnit & Xisumavoid (Video Blogging RPF)
- Charles | Grian & Xisumavoid
- Evil Xisuma (Hermitcraft) & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
- Evil Xisuma (Hermitcraft) & Xisumavoid (Video Blogging RPF)
- Xisumavoid & Mumbo Jumbo
- Ryan | GoodTimesWithScar & TommyInnit
- GoodTimesWithScar & Evil Xisumavoid
- GeminiTay & Evil Xisuma
- Evil Xisuma & Kris | ZedaphPlays
- Charles | Grian & Evil Xisuma (Hermitcraft)
- ZedaphPlays & Evil Xisumavoid
- Xisuma & Evil Xisuma
- Oliver Brotherhood | Mumbo Jumbo & Charles | Grian
- Charles | Grian & impulseSV
- Charles | Grian & Pearl | PearlescentMoon
- Charles | Grian & EvilXisuma
- Charles | Grian & Ryan | GoodTimesWithScar
- Tommyinnit & Evil Xisumavoid
- Mumbo Jumbo & TommyInnit
- TommyInnit & Evil Xisuma
- Evil Xisuma (Hermitcraft) & Viktor | Iskall85
- Cara | CaptainPuffy & TommyInnit
- TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
- Evil Xisumavoid
- Xisumavoid (Video Blogging RPF)
- Charles | Grian
- Jellie - Character
- Evil Xisuma
- Mumbo Jumbo
- Ryan | GoodTimesWithScar
- GeminiTay (Video Blogging RPF)
- Kris | ZedaphPlays
- Implied Toby Smith | Tubbo
- Implied Ranboo - Character
- impulseSV (Video Blogging RPF)
- Oliver Brotherhood | Mumbo Jumbo
- Pearl | PearlescentMoon
- EthosLab (Video Blogging RPF)
- Ryan | GoodTimesWithScar's Cat Jellie
- Evil Xisuma (Hermitcraft)
- Viktor | Iskall85
- Cara | CaptainPuffy
- Traumatized TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
- Hermit Tommyinnit
- Ex is not a villain
- Ex adopts Tommyinnit
- Hermitcraft Season 8
- Oneshot
- Ex adopts Tommy
- Panic Attacks
- the moon is not big
- no more big moon
- It doesn't exist
- only healing for Tommy
- I have no idea where in the timeline this is
- there is no timeline events happen whenever i want them to
- evil X adopts Tommy
- Disabled Ryan | GoodTimesWithScar
- tommy panics so much in this
- jellie won't let anyone suffer alone and will climb into your lap
- i have no idea how to tag this
- moon is not big
- no beta we die like Scar in the first five minutes of season 9
- Charles | Grian and TommyInnit are Siblings (Video Blogging RPF)
- (:
- Ex in not a villain
- Avian TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
- Wingfic
- Wing Grooming
- Hurt/Comfort
- Hurt
- just for Ex
- he'll get it resolves eventually but for now he's a sad boi
- Evil Xisuma is not having a good time
- Evil Xisuma in not a villain
- Referenced Hermitcraft Season 5
- they finally have that conversation:)
- wow that sure is a lot of guilt
- an interlude
- Guilt
- Grian sure does have a lot of tragic backstories
- Xisumavoid (Video Blogging RPF) & Evil Xisuma (Hermitcraft) are Brothers
- and Xisuma honestly isn't doing much better than grian on the guilt front
- Avian Charles | Grian
- preening
- Bonding
- this sure is a talk theyre having
- Ex is figuring some things out and he is not happy about the picture it's creating
- Platonically Married Ranboo and Toby Smith | Tubbo
- finally figured out roughly where in the dsmp timeline we are
- Angst
- Grian gets a wellness check
- Blood
- Boatem Crew (Hermitcraft)
- Worried EvilXisumavoid
- Bird Instincts
- Temporary Character Death
- i guess?
- they accidentally kill each other because they were rough housing and then immediately respawn
- everyone laughs it off
- Minor Injuries
- grian is not having a good time
- Fluff
- these are totally separate
- grian is technically on house arrest
- but it's mumbo's house
- Watcher Charles | Grian
- Fluff and Angst
- Flying
- nearly
- theyre getting there
- parental Evil Xisuma
- Evil Xisuma (Hermitcraft) - Freeform
- im not sorry
- Cliffhangers
- shh he'll be fine
- Evil Xisuma isn't Evil (Hermitcraft)
- Moon isn't big
- Minor Violence
- it's Ex's fault
- tommy also spends the last half of the chapter having one long mental breakdown
- i just don't know how to tag that
- no fluff until later
- except jellie
- she's very fluffy
- oh yeah
- i wish i was sorry
- okay uh
- actual content warnings now
- Please Be careful
- Suicidal Thoughts
- Self-Hatred
- mild miscommunication
- this chapter is all
- with a tiny bit of comfort at the end
- but actual comfort doesn't come til like
- next chapter i think
- Forgot that tag
- and grian does briefly mention how ex does it
- some weird stuff with time
- it doesn't move right
- Moon Not Big
- this really is just a bundle of angst
- Miscommunication
- Mentioned panic attack
- Ex holds Grian's severed head for a bit and feels bad about stuff
- no idea what to tag that as
- but i feel like you need to know
- grian please stop causing problems
- yooo the relationship is an actual tag now thats so cool
- i've been away for so long i've forgotten how to tag
- he respawns its fine
- Ex and Tommy have a really big argument
- Evil Xisuma Needs a Hug (Hermitcraft)
- and he's not getting it anytime soon
- Hurt No Comfort
- at least not this chapter
- minor cliffhanger
- okay now a little
- Comfort
- Emotional Hurt/Comfort
- this bitch is getting therapy
- Nonbinary Viktor | Iskall85
- Implied/Referenced Suicide
- TommyInnit Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF)
- Therapist Cara | CaptainPuffy
- TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF) on Hermitcraft Server
- Words:
- 49,992
- Works:
- 17
- Bookmarks:
- 457
Bookmarked by MunchkinOwner
24 Jan 2026
-
A Guide on How to Drive Xisuma Insane (Created, Written, and Partially Illustrated by the Hermits) by 5ammmm
Fandom 3rd Life | Last Life SMP Series, Empires SMP, Hermitcraft SMP, Magic School Bus & Magic School Bus Rides Again (Cartoons 1994-2018), Video Blogging RPF
18 Dec 2025
- No Archive Warnings Apply
- Xisuma & GoodTimesWithScar
- Oliver Brotherhood | Mumbo Jumbo & Charles | Grian & ImpulseSV
- Oliver Brotherhood | Mumbo Jumbo & Charles | Grian & impulseSV & Ryan | GoodTimesWithScar
- Xisuma & Hermitcraft Ensemble
- Xisuma & Pain
- Xisuma & Coffee
- Evil Xisuma (Hermitcraft) & Xisumavoid (Video Blogging RPF)
- Xisuma & Fundy
- Oliver Brotherhood | Mumbo Jumbo & Charles | Grian & Ryan | GoodTimesWithScar
- Rendog & Docm77
- Xisuma & Drunk Idiots
- Everyone & Everyone
- TommyInnit & Xisumavoid (Video Blogging RPF)
- ClownPierce & Xisumavoid
- ClownPierce & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
- Hermitcraft Ensemble & Xisumavoid
- Empires SMP Ensemble & Hermitcraft Ensemble
- Xelqua & Xisuma
- Hermitcraft Ensemble & TommyInnit
- Grayson | Purpled & Hermitcraft Ensemble
- Xelqua & Xisumavoid
- Xisumavoid (Video Blogging RPF) & Everyone
- docm77 & Doccy
- Charles | Grian & Xisumavoid
- Evil Xisuma & NPC Grian (Hermitcraft)
- Charles | Grian & NPC Grian (Hermitcraft)
- Arek Lisowski | Keralis & Xisumavoid
- Hermitcraft Ensemble & Arek Lisowski | Keralis
- Cubfan135 & Xisumavoid (Video Blogging RPF)
- Jellie & Xisumavoid
- Ryan | GoodTimesWithScar & Ryan | GoodTimesWithScar's Cat Jellie
- Xisuma & Tea
- Hermitcraft Ensemble & Hermitcraft Ensemble
- Evil Xisuma & Everyone
- Evil Xisuma & Helsmits
- Evil Xisuma & Hermitcraft Ensemble
- Evil Xisuma & Helsknight (Hermitcraft)
- Xisuma
- why isn't there a tag for him???????
- Ryan | GoodTimesWithScar
- Charles | Grian
- impulseSV (Video Blogging RPF)
- Oliver Brotherhood | Mumbo Jumbo
- again - Character
- why is that not a tag???? - Character
- Hermitcraft Ensemble
- TAG?!?!?!
- Evil Xisuma (Hermitcraft)
- BadTimesWithScar (Hermitcraft)
- TrueSymmetry (Hermitcraft)
- Fundy (Video Blogging RPF)
- Fundy's opposite who I made up on the spot
- Yet again - Character
- no tag :(
- Steffen Mössner | Docm77
- Rendog (Video Blogging RPF)
- Arek Lisowski | Keralis
- where the duck is his tag?
- TangoTek (Video Blogging RPF)
- Xisumavoid (Video Blogging RPF)
- haha I found it!!!
- TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
- ClownPierce (Video Blogging RPF)
- Toby Smith | Tubbo
- Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF)
- Branzy (Video Blogging RPF)
- TinFoilChef (Video Blogging RPF)
- Empires SMP Ensemble
- Cake - Character
- Xelqua
- Grayson | Purpled (Video Blogging RPF)
- Ryan | GoodTimesWithScar's Cat Jellie
- Pearl | Grian's Cat (Video Blogging RPF)
- Maui | Grian's Cat (Video Blogging RPF)
- Norman | Solidarity's Cat
- Doccy - Character
- Anthony Viviano | Bigbst4tz2
- hes here and he starts a cult
- Martyn Littlewood | InTheLittleWood
- NPC Grian (Hermitcraft)
- helsians - Character
- Cubfan135 (Video Blogging RPF)
- Torchy (Secret Life SMP)
- Cara | CaptainPuffy
- John Booko | BdoubleO100
- EthosLab (Video Blogging RPF)
- Katy | FalseSymmetry
- GeminiTay (Video Blogging RPF)
- Jevin | iJevin
- Viktor | Iskall85
- Pearl | PearlescentMoon
- Natalie Arnold | StressMonster101
- Kris | ZedaphPlays
- ZombieCleo (Video Blogging RPF)
- Helsknight (Hermitcraft)
- HumanCleo (Hermitcraft)
- various other helsmits
- Crack
- catnip
- Cat Goodtimeswithscar
- Xisuma is not paid enough (he's not paid at all)
- Fluff and Crack
- can catnip be considered drugs?
- i love this and i hate this there is no inbetween and no word to describe my feelings toward this
- Author Is Sleep Deprived
- The Author Regrets Nothing
- The Author Regrets Everything
- Fluff
- Chaos
- Chaotic Hermits
- someone please put Xisuma out of his misery
- kinda OOC
- no beta we die like xisumas sanity
- Non-Human Hermitcraft Ensemble
- They/Them Pronouns for Viktor | Iskall85
- I Tried
- I really did
- Everyone is a Child
- Potion mishap?
- probably
- everyone is a little shit
- Ice Cream
- everyone is stupid
- Don't leave toddler hermits alone for five seconds
- They will break something
- or murder someone
- and that someone is probably going to be Xisuma's sanity
- welcome to another editions of unfunny person tries to make crack
- Helsians
- (thats how you spell it right?)
- Conventions
- Fights
- but not graphic
- its just one character throwing a table at another
- Coffee
- Xisuma's constant dependence on coffee
- They/Them Pronouns for Evil Xisuma (Hermitcraft)
- Drinking
- nothing explicit tho
- Mentions of alcohol
- Drunk idiots
- oh no
- what will they do????
- Yo-Yos
- Why Did I Write This?
- I really do
- I'm so sorry for this monstrosity
- if it's any consolence I debated over whether I should delete this or not for so long
- snd debuting this series we have featured guest star
- Angst
- 5+1 Things
- yet again
- Hybrid discrimination
- but only in the +1
- theres also blood but not too graphic
- again in the +1
- Nothing the Hermits do is healthy in any way
- please don’t repeat them
- Charles | Grian Angst
- at the end
- Prison
- prison escapes
- i don’t know I’ve never escaped from prison before
- Sporks
- like the fork + soon monstrosity they serve with school lunches
- Sporks used as weapons
- Swearing
- 100 percent of which is from Tommyinnit
- TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF) on Hermitcraft Server
- ClownPierce (Video Blogging RPF) on Hermitcraft Server
- from tommy
- Tommyfoolery
- Clowning Around
- I'm so proud of myself for those
- Vacation
- great wolf lodge
- but more like a Great Wolf Lodge cameo
- It's Great Hypixel Lodge
- water parks
- Xisuma attempts to get a vacation
- It Goes Horribly Wrong
- Theft
- of literally everything in the hotel
- So yeah
- Sausage knows who you are
- Cake
- Is It Cake?
- everything is cake
- The Cake Is A Lie
- Kinda
- Cake Fic Meme
- but not too much dw
- Fluff and Angst
- not graphic fighting
- Hurt/Comfort
- Hugs
- Campfire stories
- mineplex gets fucking hacked
- Therapy
- Ethoism
- (it’ll make more sense later)
- Bedwars (Minecraft)
- Minecraft Tournaments & Events
- Tournaments
- Minecraft Mechanics
- hey dad (xisuma) can we get bedwars?
- no we have bedwars at home
- bedwars at home:
- Beaches
- Beach Episode
- War
- beach war
- Sandcastles
- Pits
- and cults
- Surfing
- author is not good at writing surfing
- Kidnapping
- Yeah this is a weird one
- chlorophorm
- I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping
- Forced Self Care
- Time Skips
- sobs
- Magic School Bus Reference
- Time Travel
- The Aether Mod (Minecraft)
- The Void (Minecraft)
- Keralis as Mrs Frizzle
- School
- Middle School
- Scar being an absolute scam artist
- Not RPF
- i know there’s that one bit at the end but it’s not that actual CCs
- Christmas
- Yuletide
- yeah we’re making a return
- Hanukkah
- they literally just celebrate eveyything
- makes for a very
- filled month
- But mainly crack
- happy holidays!!
- Alternate Universe
- Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers
- Alternate Universe - Twitch Streamers
- Dissociative Identity Disorder
- Alternate Universe - Daycare
- reverse au
- Snippets
- Drabble Collection
- mainly just stuff I couldn’t fit into a full fic
- althought the last one…
- Help
- This may be gen but don’t let a toddler read it; toddler hermits will give them ideas
- and not good ones
- but not too heavy I promise
- welcome to the fox where we have it all
- Scarland (Hermitcraft)
- Potions Accident
- Potions
- Transformation
- Mild body horror but it’s not too bad
- Jellie thinks scar is cheating on her with other cats
- he is not
- he is winning a death game
- like a girlboss
- jellie spells everybody but scars name wrong
- torchy backstory at the end
- Cats
- maui and Pearl are in there somewhere
- and Keralis just meows
- But we still love him
- She/Her Pronouns for Jellie
- How Do I Tag
- Tea
- Coffee Shops
- xisuma is sleep deprived
- Petitions
- everyone is dumb
- fic written on a brain fried more than anything american
- Everyone Is Gay
- everyone is insane
- Xisumavoid Needs a Break (Video Blogging RPF)
- Admin Xisumavoid (Video Blogging RPF)
- Parent Xisumavoid (Video Blogging RPF)
- Tired Xisumavoid (Video Blogging RPF)
- Xisuma needs Coffee
- Xisumavoid Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF)
- Actually Everyone Needs A Hug
- so clean a toddler could read it
- but don’t let a toddler read it; it’ll give them ideas
- Dadsuma
- Keralis is the mom (kinda)
- Ruleboard
- chatfic
- Texting
- Chatting & Messaging
- Google - Freeform
- google searching
- special guest appearances from
- wikipedia - Freeform
- Instacart
- yikyak
- YouTube
- Discord - Freeform
- and
- Spotify
- crack so silly its basically cocaine
- Barbie (Movie 2023) References
- no beta we sadly die like my obsession for this fandom
- but yes edited Hermitcraft will always be in my heart
- evil xisuma being very evil and very silly for 95 percent of the fic
- That's it
- that's the fic
Summary
Crack Fics from an unfunny person centered around Xisuma and his complete inability to wrangle his insane chaotic children.
Featuring special guests Coffee, Xisuma wishing to be put out of his misery, and Xisuma's prized Ship In A Bottle
- Words:
- 59,022
- Works:
- 20
- Bookmarks:
- 82
Bookmarked by MunchkinOwner
23 Jan 2026