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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    It was two rings and then his thick accent and smooth voice washed over Shane like a slow molasses. “Hollander,” Rozanov sighed. “It is late. I thought you had date, no?”

    “I fucked up,” Shane whispered biting back a sob.

    Shane drops after he sleeps with someone that's not Ilya, so naturally he calls Ilya to take care of him.

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    23 Feb 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “I need to sleep,” Ilya murmurs next to him on the bed, his voice distant.

    “Yeah, me too,” Shane rushes to agree. His fingers drum against his glass of vodka and he chugs the rest in one go. “I should, uh…” He moves to stand up off the bed, the soiled towel dropping from his stomach, and his knees buckle.

    Shane stumbles but remains upright, his vision blurry. But the glass in his hands slips from his trembling fingers, and, to his absolute horror, shatters all across the floor of Ilya’s penthouse suite.

    ----

    After the hookup where Shane and Ilya didn’t kiss, Shane nearly passes out in his rival’s hotel room.

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    22 Feb 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane tries to remember, peering into the darkness surrounding the car with a furrowed brow. It hurts to move, and he feels something warm and slick sliding down his cheek.

    More blood, his mind supplies rather unhelpfully.

    He was driving after dark, but he shouldn’t have been. He wasn’t supposed to be. They had all night together, so why is he here?

    I already chose you, Hollander.

    Shane inhales sharply as his mind slowly fills in the gaps in his memory. They fought. Ilya told him to leave. Shane did.

    And then he crashed.

    Series
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    21 Feb 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Part of Shane’s brain knew this slight fear in his mind wasn’t grounded in reality. He was one of, if not the best player in the league right now. It was hardly even a controversial opinion. But he knew he could do better. He wasn’t pushing himself enough. Hell, he was more drained after a summer with Ilya than he was when he left the rink.

    That wasn’t good enough. His efforts weren’t good enough. He wasn’t good enough.

     

    Or: Shane's control issues reach a breaking point as he develops an eating disorder disguised as a performance diet. Ilya tries his best.

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    20 Feb 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Some nights, alone in another anonymous hotel room, Shane scrolls through old photos on his phone. His face rounder. His smile easier. He tries to remember what it felt like not to think about food at all. The memory feels fuzzy, distant, like something that happened to a different version of him. He wonders—briefly, dangerously—if Ilya would notice if he got worse. Not better. Not “healthier.” Worse.

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    19 Feb 2026