Parrot_Assbutt
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Recent works
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Tags
Summary
Scenes from the mind of Sammy Lawrence, in debatable order. Disjointed and nonsensical as the song of radio static.
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Day 3 of Writing Stupid Ideas Until Insurance Approves My Medication And I Am Allowed To Focus On Longer Works Once Again by Parrot_Assbutt
Fandoms: The Owl House (Cartoon)
06 Nov 2022
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Summary
What if "Thanks to Them" had ended differently?
What if Hunter had dealt with the Belos threat more directly?Alternate title: Gus is Right, We Should Microwave the Belos Slime
Series
- Part 5 of Crack In A Bag
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Day 2 of Catboying Perfectly Good Men Until My ADHD Gets Back to Manageable Levels by Parrot_Assbutt
Fandoms: Bendy and the Ink Machine
07 Oct 2022
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Summary
It's Halloween at the studio.
Series
- Part 4 of Crack In A Bag
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Day 1 Of Writing Crack Fics Until The Emperor (Me) Gets His Groove Back by Parrot_Assbutt
Fandoms: Bendy and the Ink Machine
24 Sep 2022
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Summary
Sammy's ink hallucinations are recognized and treated much earlier on than in canon. He's still kind of an asshole though.
Series
- Part 3 of Crack In A Bag
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Summary
Sammy was a simple man, with simple needs.
Prequel to "Joey Gets It", written on impulse several years after the fact.Series
- Part 1 of Crack In A Bag
Recent series
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Crack In A Bag by Parrot_Assbutt
Fandom Bendy and the Ink Machine, The Owl House (Cartoon)
06 Nov 2022
Summary
Assorted Crack fics, some connected, others standalone.
- Words:
- 7,294
- Works:
- 5
- Bookmarks:
- 1
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- Words:
- 2,021
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- 999
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- Words:
- 1,821
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- Bookmarks:
- 13
Recent bookmarks
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Winners, Losers, Sinners, Saints by vividneonmanias
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
01 Feb 2026
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Summary
Lambert keeps hanging out with some guy, and the only thing his brothers know about him is his name: Aiden.
Geralt thinks Lambert's hiding his secret boyfriend because of how Vesemir would react to finding out Lambert is gay. Eskel thinks Lambert's hiding his secret boyfriend because Lambert has a bug up his ass about masculinity. Lambert thinks he's hiding his secret boyfriend because of how Vesemir would react to finding out Aiden sells weed. Jaskier thinks Lambert's scared, and just needs a push. Aiden thinks he's had enough family drama for one lifetime with his own family, thanks.
And Vesemir? Vesemir's an ex-hippie hypocrite and the reason all the mechanics at the Morhen and Sons auto shop got that bug up their asses about masculinity. Integrating gay people into The Family™ is kind of difficult! But they do say that many hands make light work...
Alternatively: Jaskier makes a local TV ad for the Morhen and Sons auto shop that goes viral on TikTok
Bookmarked by Parrot_Assbutt
20 Feb 2026
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Gerra of Rivia; or, A Good Deed Repaid by vividneonmanias
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
19 Feb 2026
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Summary
Geralt happens to discover that Serrit is trans, and embarks of his own initiative on a quest to discover an alchemical feminization formula that works on witchers. Just out of the goodness of his heart. Because he's such a good ally.
Serrit, in her gratitude, forces Gerra's hand. In the process, Gerra stops having quite so much bad sex.
Bookmarked by Parrot_Assbutt
19 Feb 2026
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Life's Rough Oceans by TempestRising
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher (TV)
17 Feb 2022
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Summary
There was a reason Geralt was tracking the bard from court to city to backwater bar. "You're being followed."
"By a burly and surprisingly handsome Witcher." Jaskier winked.
"By a slaver."
Or: On the night of his Child Surprise, Geralt started a rumor that inadvertently leads to Jaskier being the target of a sadistic slave trader.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 15,519
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 66
- Kudos:
- 1,013
- Bookmarks:
- 191
- Hits:
- 12,072
Bookmarked by Parrot_Assbutt
14 Feb 2026
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If The World Were Otherwise by inexplicifics
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
02 Apr 2022
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Summary
On a lazy summer's night, Jaskier tries to coax Geralt into a game of "What bird would you be?" It goes a little differently than he expected, and Jaskier learns some unexpected things about Geralt's past...and birds.
Series
- Part 35 of Inex Writes Flash Fic
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,699
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 123
- Kudos:
- 1,951
- Bookmarks:
- 194
- Hits:
- 7,437
Bookmarked by Parrot_Assbutt
14 Feb 2026
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Summary
“Cursed chickens,” Lambert says flatly.
“Yessir,” the farmer says. “They’re layin’ wrong.”
“...Like, out the wrong end?”
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It turns out the chickens are only the start of the Weird Shit this farm has going on.
Series
- Part 36 of Inex Writes Flash Fic
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,698
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 8
- Comments:
- 119
- Kudos:
- 2,491
- Bookmarks:
- 286
- Hits:
- 9,170
Bookmarked by Parrot_Assbutt
14 Feb 2026