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  1. Tags
    Summary

    "It makes perfect sense!" Penelope's eyes are bright with wine and conviction. "Think about it. We know each other. We trust each other. We both agree that virginity is some arbitrary social construct, so why are we letting it bother us? Let's just—" She makes a decisive cutting motion with her hand. "—get it over with."

    "Pen—"

    "Colin," she sighs dramatically. "We could die tomorrow. As virgins."

    "We are not going to die tomorrow."

    "We could. And it will kill us."

    "Well, we’d already be dead, so—"

    “We could die. Tomorrow. As virgins. I don’t know if there is a fate worse than that, Colin!”

    The one where a question, posed under the weight of alcohol, leads to more than either bargained for.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    37,970
    Chapters:
    6/16
    Comments:
    373
    Kudos:
    785
    Bookmarks:
    145
    Hits:
    13,694
  2. Tags
    Summary

    The plan is this: come home, get a real job, stop running away from the only woman he has ever truly wanted, and make Penelope Featherington see him as something other than her goofy, perpetually wandering best friend.

    The plan is simple and elegant, and all sorted—except for that final little bullet point. No big deal.

    What could possibly go wrong?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,642
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    125
    Kudos:
    668
    Bookmarks:
    123
    Hits:
    5,431
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Five times Colin Bridgerton was distracted by Penelope Featherington.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,853
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    62
    Kudos:
    516
    Bookmarks:
    63
    Hits:
    4,013
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Five nights Jack and Samira spend together.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,944
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    213
    Bookmarks:
    33
    Hits:
    1,851
  5. Tags
    Summary

    This is what she does. She holds and holds and holds—through the chaos, through the loss, through shifts that crack her open and leave her raw—until something inside her finally gives.

    Then she goes home to him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,819
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    144
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    1,470
  6. Tags
    Summary

    "I have needs," he blurts out, and then his face does something awful, crumbling almost, before he catches and rights it out of habit. "Fuck. That came out wrong. I don't mean—I'm not—" His hands are shaking. "I need help, Pen. And I think you might be the only person I trust enough to ask."

    Colin asks. Penelope gives. Neither of them is prepared for what happens when the structure starts to fail.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,410
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    87
    Kudos:
    527
    Bookmarks:
    109
    Hits:
    6,254
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Colin to Pen
    9 Dec
    [07:03]

    Colin: I need a favour
    Colin: also hi
    Colin: good morning

    The phone vibrates against the bathroom counter, and Penelope hates the way her heart does this little flip in her chest at the sight of his name flickering at the top of her notifications. She stills, eyeliner poised in her hand, and contemplates answering. He never texts this early, so it is likely whatever he needs is important.

    But she is running late.

    And, more importantly, she is trying to be better about these sorts of things.

    OR: A Hallmark Move Christmas Special featuring two idiots in love and ALLLLLLLL the tropes.

    UPDATE 2/6/26 WITH AN EPILOGUE THAT NOBODY ASKED FOR.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    35,297
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    273
    Kudos:
    1,235
    Bookmarks:
    199
    Hits:
    13,442
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Mistresses.

    Benedict spoke of it casually, as though it were simply the done thing, as natural as keeping a horse or maintaining a club membership. Colin had nearly choked on his drink. Not from shock at his brother’s past, but from the sudden, clarifying realisation that this was yet another aspect of conventional manhood that simply did not fit him.

    And for the first time, he does not feel lesser for it.

    Colin comes home to his wife, clearly bothered, after his night out at White's. A quiet, honest conversation ensues.

    And then some.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,477
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    160
    Kudos:
    835
    Bookmarks:
    135
    Hits:
    8,964
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Five times Colin and Penelope found ink in forbidden places.

    That's it. That's the fic. I couldn't help myself.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,516
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    76
    Kudos:
    416
    Bookmarks:
    41
    Hits:
    2,913
  10. Tags
    Summary

    A day in the life of Colin Bridgerton. He is a very busy man, actually.

    Set during 4x01.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,952
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    97
    Kudos:
    589
    Bookmarks:
    116
    Hits:
    6,705
  11. Tags
    Summary

    They know each other now, is the thing.

    Mohan and Abbot in the aftermath of 1x15.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,595
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    192
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    1,624
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Seven times Colin and Penelope touch.

    Six moments across two decades where a touch meant everything, but neither could admit it. And the one time they both stopped pretending.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,114
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    73
    Kudos:
    410
    Bookmarks:
    76
    Hits:
    3,677
  13. Tags
    Summary

    It amuses him greatly that the ton thinks he is the charming one in this marriage. For he has been outmatched from the start. They all have, really.

    Colin makes Penelope wait. Penelope makes Colin pay. Fun is had by all, don’t worry.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,399
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    88
    Kudos:
    556
    Bookmarks:
    101
    Hits:
    5,220
  14. Tags
    Summary

    The video finds her at two AM when the algorithm has decided she's vulnerable enough for spiritual content.

    Write thirteen wishes, the woman on the screen instructs. One for each month of the coming year, plus one extra. And then, starting on the winter solstice, pull one each night and burn it. Release it to the universe. Trust that it will unfold without you clinging to it.

    On New Year's Day, you'll have one wish left. That one is the one thing you are not delegating to the cosmos. The one thing you are committing to actually work toward.

    It sounds like nonsense, but when Penelope is twenty-one and overwhelmed by life, the idea of outsourcing some decisions to the universe feels less like magical thinking and more like a legitimate coping mechanism.

    At twenty-nine, she writes a wish that makes her hands shake so badly she can barely fold the paper:

    I tell Colin how I feel.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,196
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    140
    Kudos:
    668
    Bookmarks:
    109
    Hits:
    4,192
  15. Tags
    Summary

    As illogical as it is, the whole thing is Justin Timberlake’s fault.

    Wherein these two idiots watch the movie Friends with Benefits, discuss the merits (and lack thereof) of such a thing, and then decide, like the dummies they are, to maybe, possibly... give it a go?

    It goes about as well as one could expect.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,794
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    156
    Kudos:
    753
    Bookmarks:
    124
    Hits:
    7,402
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Colin loves his wife’s thighs.

    And other things. All of her, actually. And he takes great pleasure in showing her just how much.

    Just a little ditty about Colin loving his wife. That's all. That's the fic.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,362
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    93
    Kudos:
    477
    Bookmarks:
    70
    Hits:
    4,788
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Love you. Night.

    She sits on it for a day. Then two. She sits on it until she cannot any longer, and she shows up half past midnight, outside his door, with her workday a stench on her dress clothes.

    Olivia and Elliot forever in orbit around each other.

    (Anyone else still here? No? Just me? Alrighty then.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,221
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    145
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    1,969
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Penelope and Colin are besties, roommates, and idiots in love with each other but too afraid to make a move...

    Until they get a little nudge in the right direction.

    OR: the one where Polin gets Sex Pollen'd...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,840
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    78
    Kudos:
    838
    Bookmarks:
    119
    Hits:
    8,548
  19. Tags
    Summary

    It's 2:15. Penelope Featherington readies herself for a very important meeting with her favourite employee—Colin Bridgerton. They have plenty to discuss. And not much time to discuss it.

    And he's late.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,649
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    101
    Kudos:
    577
    Bookmarks:
    71
    Hits:
    5,459
  20. Tags
    Summary

    She is twenty-six, theoretically in her sexual prime, and her body has apparently filed for early retirement.

    Penelope spilled her predicament to Kate and Eloise during a girls’ night weeks ago, after one too many very dirty martinis. Kate, in her very Kate way, raised an eyebrow and said, “Romance yourself, darling. Stop acting as though pleasure is a charity case.” Eloise had simply waved her hand and declared, “Invest in a proper toy, don’t be a martyr. You deserve it. Now go forth and conquer.

    So here she is, conquering.

    All Penelope wanted was an orgasm, not an existential crisis.

    OR: the one where our girl discovers an erotica app with a familiar voice.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,433
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    160
    Kudos:
    1,042
    Bookmarks:
    172
    Hits:
    8,783

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