asterwisps



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    "You are doing this on purpose," Ilya accused.

    Shane looked up, perfectly innocent. "Doing what on purpose?"

    "The—" Ilya gestured. "This. The—the organizing."

    "The organizing that I do. Every Thursday. Like I have for the entire time we've been together."

    "You know what you're doing."

    Shane's lips twitched. Just barely. But Ilya saw it. "I'm folding a hoodie."

    BREAKING: Local man gets pavlov'd by the KonMari method, more at 11.

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    28 Feb 2026

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    When Shane was displeased with Ilya, there was a certain intensity in his speech that called to Ilya like a siren song, dragging him to an early grave with its vehemence. His voice would pitch higher, bossy and prissy and so stridently righteous it should be intolerable.

    But Ilya was, for all intents and purposes, a whore. And nothing made him harder than his husband putting him in his place.

    ---

    or, 5 times ilya ragebaits shane because being yelled at by his husband turns him on, +1 time shane realizes he’s doing it on purpose.

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    26 Feb 2026

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    “Oh my god,” the intruder says, voice coming faster and higher-pitched. “Shane, what the fuck? Oh my god.”

    “Eeleeyah, come to my cottage,” Ilya mocks, voice muffled by Shane’s skin. “Don’t go to Russia. Come to my house instead. Is so private. No one will know…we will be completely alone. Together.”

    “Oh my god, is that Ilya Rozanov?” the intruder yelps like he's about to start hyperventilating. “Why is Ilya Rozanov half-naked in our kitchen, Shane?”

    “Okay, I know how this looks,” Shane tells Ilya, “But I mean, technically, we are still alone. Together.”

    or,

    At the cottage, Shane and Ilya meet eighteen year old Shane Hollander. This is really only a surprise for one of them. Everyone handles it as well as can be expected.

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    26 Feb 2026

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    19 Feb 2026

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    In 2021, Shane Hollander reveals his relationship with former rival Ilya Rozanov to the shock of chronically online people worldwide, who’ve spent the last decade convincing the world he’s secretly in love with his teammate Hayden Pike

    feng (she/her) @flowerfeng · Apr 3, 2021
    gotta feel bad for shane hollander. like imagine everyone wishing you were in a secret gay relationship. and you gotta spend your career swearing you’re not in a secret gay relationship. but you ARE in a secret gay relationship. just w the wrong guy

    booboo the fool @cinnacin · Apr 4, 2021
    shane hollander w a hand on the bible: no im not in a decade-long secret relationship w fellow hockey player hayden pike
    roger cromwell: ok say it again without the hayden pike part 
    shane hollander: sweats nervously 

    (Or, imagine if #Shayden was the #LarryStylinson of the HR/GC universe)

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    18 Feb 2026