bartonoff



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    “Ah,” Ilya said, grinning, going for the joke.

    Shane looked up, curious.

    “So being boring is genetic?”

    He expected laughter. Or the way Shane would roll his eyes even as he melted, the way that made the teasing feel welcome.

    Instead, Shane’s smile disappeared completely. It wasn’t dramatic. It just… went. Like a light switched off.

    “Yeah,” Shane said, clearing his throat, forcing the word out before it could crack. “I guess so.”

    He took a step back, creating space that felt suddenly necessary, like he might suffocate if he drifted any closer. Every instinct in him screamed to leave. To put distance between himself and this feeling and the source of it before it swallowed him whole

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    08 Mar 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    They sat in silence for a few seconds and watched the surf rolling in and out, in and out. Shane eased one knee up, resting his arm across it, watching Ilya out of the corner of his eye with infinite patience.

    “You wanna talk about it?” he asked, voice soft enough that the wind almost stole it.

    He did want to talk. His chest was full of words. Too full. But the idea of opening all that up? Of watching Shane recoil, or worse, watching him care? It was unbearable. The thought of being comforted by Shane, of feeling that warmth and knowing he couldn’t keep it, nearly crushed him.

    Ilya kept his eyes on the water, jaw tight.

    Shane reached out slowly and carefully and let the tip of one finger trace the outside of Ilya’s forearm. Just a whisper of contact. A question, not a demand.

    Ilya looked at him. Shane gave a small tilt of his hand, beckoning him closer.

    “Come here.”

    ****

    A deviation from the All-Star weekend in Tampa:

    Instead of finding Shane on the bench, it’s Ilya alone with his ghosts and falling apart in ways he never lets anyone see.

    Until Shane sits beside him.

    The tide is ceaseless and the night is heavy. Canon diverges; feelings don't.

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    08 Mar 2026

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    “If you ever talk about my fiancé like that again, then I will end your career.”

    The words are pure vitriol, dripping from Shane’s mouth like venom from the fangs of a snake. He doesn’t raise his voice, he doesn’t even sound angry, he just sounds lethal. Like a man you don’t want to cross. Like a man who fully intends to honour his promise…or threat.

    He’s met with stunned silence.

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    08 Mar 2026

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    He feels fizzy, fizzy, fizzy, like a soda can that’s been shaken and cracked open. There’s so much pressure building inside his chest that he can’t possibly keep it all inside. He laughs, just a quiet giggle at first, and then it becomes something louder. Something brighter. Something that bursts out of his chest and cracks through the echoing silence in the bathroom. He has to cover his mouth with his hand to stifle it.

    Shane feels happy. Truly, deep down to his bones, happy.

    He almost can’t believe it.

    (Or, the first night at the cottage.)

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    08 Mar 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    “It’s not new,” Shane admits.

    “The gay part or the relationship part?”

    “Both?”

    Hayden’s jaw slowly drops until he’s wearing such a goofy expression that Shane can’t help but laugh again.

    (Or, Shane gets to come out on his own terms for once.)

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    07 Mar 2026