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Summary
Alastor’s microphone, typically an obedient and useful conduit for his power, was misbehaving. Stranger than that, it had seemed to develop an infatuation with one Lucifer Morningstar. Convinced that Lucifer must have somehow tampered with the thing while fixing it, Alastor invites Lucifer to do a thorough inspection to determine the cause of its mischief. One thing leads to another, and, well…
He fucks the microphone, okay?
Bookmarked by firescreek
28 Feb 2026
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“Alastor… let me help you.”
After being rescued from Vee Tower, Alastor locked himself away in his room at the hotel. And so began Lucifer’s new ritual, desperate for Alastor to know there was someone on the other side of that cold bedroom door. Every day he spoke through the wood, and every day he received no answer. But Lucifer could wait. He would spend days talking to an empty hallway. Weeks memorizing the touch of a door that never opened pressed against his back. Months watching shadows shaped like the two of them play along the walls, keeping each other company in the absence of Alastor.
Bookmarked by firescreek
27 Feb 2026
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Perhaps, just a bit, he’d like to kiss Alastor too. Call it curiosity, or insanity. A death wish. Another tempting apple, this one between his teeth. And if giving humans free will had gotten him sentenced to an eternity in Hell he could only imagine the punishment Alastor would unleash upon him for a stolen kiss.
Alastor was not nearly so benevolent as angels. Not that that had ever stopped Lucifer before. The thread holding him back was fraying.
Who said friends couldn’t kiss? If friends could fuck they could kiss.
And they were friends. Right?
Lucifer should really ask him about that.
It’s Halloween at the Hazbin Hotel, and a series of late-night radio broadcasts leave Lucifer desperate and Alastor spiraling.
Series
- Part 7 of Drink Menu
Bookmarked by firescreek
26 Feb 2026
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His fingers twitched. Hardly fair for him to only get attention in secret rooms. Alastor was just as worthy of the kitchen. Lucifer had hardly paid him any mind for two weeks, and now that they’d gotten a moment alone he chose to spend it fussing over the right cinnamon-to-clove ratio.
That would not do.
Without a whisper of sound Alastor came up behind his King, laying heavy hands on Lucifer’s shoulders. Another cage, should he want it. He let one finger make the barest hint of contact with the sliver of neck above the collar, counting each beat that thrummed beneath the warm skin.
“Hey there, hot stuff,” Lucifer teased, earning the pinprick of sharp claws into his shoulders. “What? I was talking about the pot on the stove. Watch out, very hot stuff here, don’t burn yourself.”
It’s movie night at the Hazbin Hotel. Alastor and Lucifer take a detour to the kitchen… and the pantry… and Lucifer’s bedroom.
Series
- Part 6 of Drink Menu
Bookmarked by firescreek
25 Feb 2026
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“And what exactly are we making?”
If looks could kill, Lucifer’s corpse would be repurposed into garnish for Alastor’s Old Fashioned by day’s end.
“You cannot be serious. Is your geriatric mind so addled by ducks and dicks that it’s forgotten why we’re here?”
“What type?” Lucifer clarified. “Whiskey, tequila, that green stuff that makes you hallucinate?”
“Bathtub gin!” Alastor sang, summoning his band of shadow puppets to play a jazzy melody for their singular audience member. “Moonshine, white lightning, hooch. And my personal favorite–” he continued, sliding onto the couch beside Lucifer and slinging an arm around his shoulder “–coffin varnish, due to the ~poisonous~ risks associated with shoddy homemade liquor.”
“Are we making it in the bathtub?” Lucifer asked, highly interested in the idea of sharing a bath with Alastor.
After sweet Charlie’s efforts to boost redemption rates results in a ban on alcohol at the Hazbin Hotel, resident dipsomaniacs Alastor and Lucifer find their own way to have fun.
Series
- Part 5 of Drink Menu
Bookmarked by firescreek
24 Feb 2026
