help_what_am_i_doing



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  1. Public Bookmark 24

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    Summary

    Zanka finds himself on a tough spot. He becomes desperate, he becomes frantic, he becomes fearful. Zanka thinks he will die here, pinned under a Trash Beast.

    On the brink of what he thinks death is, he can't help but think about Enjin. He awaits the next impact, the next blow that will be the last he feels.

    The soft touch against him is not it what he had expected.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,074
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    218
    Bookmarks:
    24
    Hits:
    1,392

    19 Feb 2026

  2. Public Bookmark 27

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    Slowly, Kyouka stops noticing Zanka's efforts. It's easier to see the lack of it, when Zanka does not come to dinner with bruises and scrapes showing.

    It's easy to critique where he fails. It's easy to resent him for joining the Cleaners.

    // A quick view into Kyouka's perspective regarding Zanka's efforts and his lack of skill. As well as how it affects Zanka.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    984
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    181
    Bookmarks:
    27
    Hits:
    944

    19 Feb 2026

  3. Public Bookmark 35

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    Summary

    Behind the stoic, collected facade of being a Hell Guard, of being a Nijiku, Kyoka is not blind. Beyond the disillusionment, beyond the bitterness of seeing Zanka perform well with that stick as a weapon, Kyoka is well aware of the ways Zanka didn't fit within the family's expectations. Kyoka is well aware of the way Zanka's eyes trail after the blond Cleaner with tattoos.

    Which is why she seeks Enjin later at night, when the Cleaner has stopped by. Which is why reluctantly, bitterly, she comes to terms with Zanka's inevitable departure.

    // An interaction between Kyoka and Enjin regarding Zanka. And Kyoka's acceptance that Zanka would be better off with the Cleaners.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,815
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    264
    Bookmarks:
    35
    Hits:
    1,661

    19 Feb 2026

  4. Public Bookmark 85

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    Summary

    Zanka had always been weak. He knew it. He’d always known it. And lately, it felt like the world was determined to make sure he never forgot.

     

    Or: Zanka's past, present and future as a member of the Cleaners. Featuring team bonds, low self-worth, and broken family ties.

    Read for extended Zanka angst, mind the tags for warnings. I’m a sucker for a happy ending but there will be suffering on the path that leads to it. It gets better before it gets worse before it gets better.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    34,575
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    73
    Kudos:
    373
    Bookmarks:
    85
    Hits:
    3,913

    19 Feb 2026

  5. Public Bookmark 39

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    Summary

    Pushed into a corner, Zanka laments being unable to help Rudo out. He wishes he could, wishes he could stand back up.

    "Rudo, this is your last use of 3R, don't waste it."

    Rudo can still go, though, decidedly does so as he stands up and reaches down to pick up Lovely Assistaff.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,032
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    342
    Bookmarks:
    39
    Hits:
    1,941

    18 Feb 2026