itsmedusae



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    “I’m putting in a transfer request to Carleton this afternoon.”

    Ilya gets off his bike and wraps his sweaty arms around Shane’s sweaty shoulders, presses their sweaty heads together and holds him tight. “Nooo, Hollander, you cannot leave me. Who will put Barrett and Marly in time out when they fuck up too many shots in a row?”

    “I’m sure Bood will do it. He loves bossing people around.”

    Bood stands up straight and salutes his captains. “I take the title with great honor. Enjoy the Ravens, Hollander—your legacy of being a chaste Victorian debutante will be remembered fondly but not carried on.”

    This snaps that last thread of Shane’s refined patience. “I can pick up girls! I have no problem getting numbers and calling them and talking!”

    Hazy smirks. “Innocent until proven guilty.”

    “I can pick people up,” Shane says again, moving off his bike and out of Ilya’s sweaty embrace. “And I don’t have to do it by concocting schemes or stripping on top of the LAX bros’ coffee table.”

    Or, after some team chirping at Shane's expense, Ilya accidentally interrupts a few of his potential dating prospects and then keeps on doing it less than accidentally

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    11 Feb 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    HELL YEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH thank u for writing this like this literally just saved my life🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Pummel: Fuck Jane

    St-Simon: nah…

    St-Simon: i dont think shes done anything wrong…

    Pummel: youre right

    Pummel: Sorry Jane

    Pummel: FUCK ROZANOV

    Varkov: FUCK ROZANOV

    Connors: Hey guys did you see this article about Rose Landry and Shane Hollander?

    Carmichael: Bad timing, man.

    Connors: Oh

    Connors: Give me a second to read back.

    Connors: Oh….

    Connors: FUCK ROZANOV

    [Or, how the Raiders---in particular the long suffering Cliff Marleau, dealt with the Great Jane Debacle of 2016, told in a series of texts, posts, and Cliff being the best Bostonian friend Ilya could ask for]

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    09 Feb 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    he's jane

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    lily @shanehollanderstop
    went to loserville city in the united states of floptropica and they said you’re the president @TheMontrealVoyageurs
    💬 8.5K  🔄 62.7K ❤️ 459.6K

    or

    Ilya refuses to deactivate his stan account

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    30 Jan 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    YEEEEESSSSSSSSS

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    "Ilya," Shane tries. "I'm fine in here."

    "Then what is the problem?" Ilya asks, trying to keep his voice light, but Shane can hear the strain in it.

    Fuck. The problem is always just... it's always Shane, isn't it? That's always the problem. He's always the fucking problem.

    Shane's season-ending injury leads him to question the future, and who he is without hockey. He doesn't like the answer.

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    02 Jan 2026

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    "Ilya had loved him through his worst moments. Ilya had helped him find a therapist when he’d collapsed on the floor of their hotel bathroom after losing a particularly brutal game, scratching at his chest. Ilya had held him, even when Shane yelled at him because there was panic crawling under his skin and he felt as though it might claw its way out. Ilya had told him it was okay; that it didn’t make him a bad player to resent the spotlight sometimes, that it didn’t make him a bad teammate to hate the team when they were too loud and too drunk and too physical, that it didn’t make him a bad person to need space to breathe. Ilya saved him.

    And look what you give him in return. You’re a shitty husband, Shane Hollander.

    You don’t deserve his last name."

     

    -

     

    content warnings: discussion of mental health, depiction of a panic attack, depiction of invasive medical procedure, depiction of violence (generally non-graphic), use of hate speech, depiction of a hate crime

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    27 Dec 2025

    Bookmarker's Notes

    DELIIIICIIOOOUUUSSS my fave meal from now on