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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    CROWLEY: I try not to make a habit of gratitude, but I must give our appreciation to everyone out there who’s been listening and subscribing to The Ineffable Plan.
    AZIRAPHALE: Ooh, yes, we’ve become quite popular, haven’t we?
    CROWLEY: Yeah, just hit number eight on the advice charts … No advertising at all.
    AZIRAPHALE: Mm. How … miraculous.
    CROWLEY: … Aziraphale. You did not.

     

    ***

    Crowley and Aziraphale are very possibly the people least qualified, on the entire planet, to start up an advice podcast.

    But what else is there to do when the world isn’t ending anytime soon, you’re technically on indefinite sabbatical from your lifelong careers, and you need a plausible excuse to spend more time with your best friend who you’re definitely not, absolutely not, maybe just a little, actually maybe overwhelmingly in love with?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,541
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    9
    Comments:
    1,184
    Kudos:
    21,882
    Bookmarks:
    5,842
    Hits:
    142,253

    09 Nov 2025

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Vi despises mornings—unless they’re like this. Caitlyn gasping against her neck, knee hitched up over her hips as she half-lays atop her, hand fisted in Vi’s loose top, grinding against the soft packer she sleeps in. Vi traces the line of her spine through her own sleep shirt, hiking Caitlyn’s knee higher for a better angle, a dream in stunning, sun-washed warm tones, canvas their sheets. She doesn’t know how long they’ve been doing this, time slipping from them both within the gilded frame of the curtains of their bed, only knows Caitlyn wants more.

    They both do.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,959
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    40
    Kudos:
    868
    Bookmarks:
    195
    Hits:
    19,745

    16 Dec 2024

    Bookmarker's Notes

    WHATHT EFUCK YYES YESBYES YES YES YES YES

  3. Public Bookmark 29

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    Summary

    "You never talk about it," Alice says into the silence he's not closed up, and she could mean any number of things, any number of old fights, but then she says, "Your scar," and the floorboards start to swim before his eyes.

    Louis haunts Daniel's narrative.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,528
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    212
    Bookmarks:
    29
    Hits:
    1,298

    02 Nov 2024

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    The newspaper cutting on the wall reads a loud headline:

    "Stanford Filbrick Pines, author and scholar, reported missing in Oregon."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    49
    Kudos:
    1,386
    Bookmarks:
    182
    Hits:
    10,694

    30 Aug 2024

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Aziraphale has read every book in his shop at least once. He has reread some of his favored volumes dozens of times, has memorized whole great swaths of them. If his own words are insufficient to convince Crowley of his sincerity, then perhaps the words of others can!

    (He might have the decency to ask the books what they thought of this plan. The books had been watching the two of them for over a hundred years, and certainly had a great deal to say on the matter. But Aziraphale neglects to consult them, and thus will be very unprepared for what happens next.)

    Back on earth, Aziraphale tries to apologize.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,135
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    532
    Kudos:
    5,513
    Bookmarks:
    1,224
    Hits:
    45,251

    23 Aug 2023

    Bookmarker's Notes

    THIS. THISSSSS

  6. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    "There must be something I can do for you? In return?” Aziraphale asked. An easy offer to accept or reject, with no hard feelings on either side after.

    He wasn’t counting on Crowley being just absolutely the most oblivious creature on the planet.

    OR

    Listen, I feel like Michael Sheen was daring us to write as many takes on this moment as we want, and I'd hate to disappoint him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,031
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    83
    Kudos:
    1,025
    Bookmarks:
    140
    Hits:
    8,406

    10 Aug 2023

    Bookmarker's Notes

    michael christopher sheen would be so proud

  7. Public Bookmark 84

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    Summary

    After being a taxi driver for nearly forty years, there was not much Frank hadn’t seen. Tonight was probably not even the strangest night he had, but it was definitely up there.

    or: a taxi driver picked up an odd passenger who was in the mood for some self-destructive habits, and offered them the only thing he had in abundance — kindness.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,202
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    35
    Kudos:
    420
    Bookmarks:
    84
    Hits:
    1,754

    10 Aug 2023

    Bookmarker's Notes

    actual tears in my eyes rn

  8. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Aziraphale and Crowley in the dressing room after the magic show.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,267
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    43
    Kudos:
    785
    Bookmarks:
    102
    Hits:
    4,243

    10 Aug 2023

  9. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Kyle is a young man facing an uncertain future, but things take a turn when he lands a job at A.Z. Fell and Co. He's still not sure where his life is heading, but one thing is certain: it's about to get a whole lot weirder.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,969
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    280
    Kudos:
    808
    Bookmarks:
    190
    Hits:
    7,517

    06 Aug 2023

  10. Public Bookmark 76

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    Summary

    Another young person finds themselves having an unexpected tea with Mr. Fell.

    "Your boyfriend hit me with a puddle." Everett blurted out, staring at the soft-faced man's ear and slightly behind him where the the owner of the car was standing. He at least had the presence of mind to look anywhere except for at her."

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,445
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    58
    Kudos:
    1,255
    Bookmarks:
    76
    Hits:
    6,604

    06 Aug 2023

  11. Public Bookmark 72

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    Summary

    The mysterious Mr. Fell seems to have an odd habit of showing up in people's lives at random, giving a bit of advice that you didn't know you needed to hear, and then he'd be right back in his closed-up shop while you just had your whole life turned upside-down.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,975
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    44
    Kudos:
    1,047
    Bookmarks:
    72
    Hits:
    6,159

    06 Aug 2023

    Bookmarker's Notes

    holyfuck .

  12. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Without any more assignments coming from Downstairs, Crowley is struck with a bad case of the doldrums.

    It takes a bit of trial and error, but eventually a solution is found.

    (Or: the one where Crowley becomes an Uber driver.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,016
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    5
    Comments:
    859
    Kudos:
    11,900
    Bookmarks:
    2,873
    Hits:
    69,085

    06 Aug 2023

    Bookmarker's Notes

    literally unable to think ab anything else except this

  13. This has been deleted, sorry!

    06 Aug 2023

    Bookmarker's Notes

    can't believe i haven't bookmarked this yet

  14. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    She’d thought about this long and hard. There was no other logical conclusion. Alex inhaled, steepled her hands, and deadpanned, ‘I think Professor Crowley is a demon.’ Marcia sighed a long-suffering sigh.
     
    Aziraphale and Crowley spend their retirement continuing what they started back in Eden: providing humanity with the knowledge and tools to make their way in the world. That, and bewildering the occasional curious student.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,928
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    121
    Kudos:
    1,454
    Bookmarks:
    283
    Hits:
    9,077

    04 Aug 2023

  15. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    It's a lovely week in the South Downs, and Crowley is at war with a Horrible Goose.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,908
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    215
    Kudos:
    1,519
    Bookmarks:
    305
    Hits:
    9,592

    03 Aug 2023

  16. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    The first time it happened was an accident. No, honestly. It really was.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,807
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    163
    Kudos:
    1,684
    Bookmarks:
    271
    Hits:
    13,074

    02 Aug 2023

    Bookmarker's Notes

    can't stop thinking ab this

  17. Public Bookmark 99

    Tags
    Summary

    A split second decision by Aziraphale to save them both from discovery leaves Crowley experiencing something he is unprepared for.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,120
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    123
    Kudos:
    1,003
    Bookmarks:
    99
    Hits:
    5,724

    29 Jul 2023

    Bookmarker's Notes

    GOD.

  18. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Crowley showed Jesus all the kingdoms of the world. The Bible recorded some version of this event, but left off the walk down the mountain afterward. Hard to find the right wording for, "And then the son of God befriended a demon. Don't try this at home."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,811
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    79
    Kudos:
    1,045
    Bookmarks:
    216
    Hits:
    5,218

    19 Jul 2023

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Holy Fuck

  19. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    It's not a fic, it's a fan comic.
    Aziraphale gives Crowley an olive. Crowley gives Aziraphale a tree.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    106
    Kudos:
    566
    Bookmarks:
    194
    Hits:
    3,314

    18 Jul 2023

  20. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Today, Sunday, there's a sense of rightness and quiet. Outside, he hears birdsong that reminds him of home. Rashid drops sugar cubes in each tiny glass bowl—refined white for Lapsang Souchong, demerara for Earl Grey—and readies the tea tray for delivery.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,500
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    7
    Comments:
    354
    Kudos:
    5,523
    Bookmarks:
    990
    Hits:
    30,052

    18 Jul 2023

    Bookmarker's Notes

    FINALLY some good fuckin food

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