neilistic



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Draco came to, naked, sprawled across the pentagram on the worn floorboards of the inn’s rented room. He lifted his head. His body had smeared the chalk and the salt on re-entry.

    His tailbone hurt.

    His head hurt.

    He was thirsty.

    Draco slowly pushed up to sitting. His wand was in his hand. His whole spine hurt. Something grazed his leg—his head whipped around, making the headache flare. A mouse? A rat? This room was disgusting.

    No—

    Hold on—

    Draco twisted to look behind him.

    F**K.

    He had a tail.

    Draco Malfoy—now an Unspeakable assigned to the Death Room—went to Hell and came back with a tail. Hermione Granger wants to help. Theo Nott doesn’t.

    BEEN TO HELL AND BACK, I CAN SHOW YOU VOUCHERS is inspired by the bureaucratic implications of the titular Lil Wayne bar and me reading three books about Cardan Greenbriar because I thought there would be tail smut.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    32,758
    Chapters:
    8/8
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    23 Feb 2026

  2. Public Bookmark 23

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    Abraxas Malfoy must get married, and sire an heir. He is also in love with Tom Riddle, who does not like sharing.

    Language:
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    Words:
    42,516
    Chapters:
    4/4
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    23
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    21 Nov 2025

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Threatened with the loss of her trust fund allowance, wild child Pansy Parkinson takes her mother up on an offer she can't refuse: a job at the Ministry of Magic as personal secretary to tightly wound bureaucrat Percy Weasley.

    The job is demanding, and so is her boss, in ways that Pansy never could have imagined.

    When their mutual desires begin to spin out of control, how will Pansy convince her boss that sometimes, the only rules you need to follow are your own?

    A loving tribute to the pure and criminally underappreciated magic that is the ParkWeasel ship, and the 2002 film Secretary.

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    English
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    45,964
    Chapters:
    6/6
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    25 Oct 2025

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    The true Time-Turner was slammed savagely into Hermione's throat. It shattered against her neck, bits of glass and gold piercing into her skin. The last thing she saw before blackness consumed her was a plume of metallic dust and vitreous fragments, tiny prisms dancing behind her eyelids.

    (In which Hermione accidentally ends up in 1950, pitted against an ascending Dark Lord in his prime, caught in the entanglement of pureblood politics, dark magic, and Tom Riddle's interest)

    Language:
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    516,319
    Chapters:
    80/80
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    17 Sep 2025

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    The Malfoy family is not pleased with the announcement of a Marriage Law, but they are determined to get the best out of it, of course. And the best is clearly Hermione Granger. Hermione, however, would rather die.

    Overall Winner of the 'Something Worth Fighting For' competition hosted by Quills & Parchment, along with winner of Best Angst, Best Dark, Judges’ Favorite, and Fan Favorite. Also, Runner-Up in the Pass the Tissues (Best Hurt/Comfort) category of the Spring 2017 Dramione Fanfiction Forum Awards.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,646
    Chapters:
    1/1
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    11
    Comments:
    548
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    3,374
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    10 Sep 2025