panmee



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    “So,” Ilya says, dragging the word out. He’s swiping at non-existent crumbs on the counter, avoiding his eyes. “You have dinner at parents on Christmas, yes?” 

    “Yeah.” 

    Ilya nods. “I can house-sit while you are away. Make place pretty, if you have decorations. Make it less boring.” 

    Shane’s eyebrows fly up. “What? You don’t want to come with?” 

    Finally, Ilya looks up at him. Hesitantly, he asks, “You want me to come with?” 

    Frowning, Shane says, “I– yeah. Yeah, of course. You think I invited you here just so you could spend Christmas alone?” 

    Looking away, Ilya shrugs. “I am intruder here, Hollander. You have family. I do not. Makes situation… difficult, maybe. You forget the world thinks we are rivals.” 

    “Not difficult,” Shane says immediately. “You want to come, you’re coming.” 

    Or: Ilya's in Montreal alone during the week leading up to the Winter Classic. Shane doesn't let him spend Christmas alone.

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    10 Feb 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “Pretend we don't know each other?” Shane repeats, a little confused in all honesty. Wasn't therapy about talking?

    “Yes. You are meeting for the first time in this room. Introduce yourselves.”

    Shane shifts in his seat, slowly turning to Ilya. It's not all that different from the first time they'd actually met; the awkward vibes radiating off Shane are almost identical. They're just missing a snowy forecast and a cigarette.

    He decides to go a step further, standing up. It feels the right thing to do under the circumstances. Who meets for the first time sitting down? He takes a step forward, holding his hand out to Ilya. Or not Ilya. This random man he’s about to meet, who happens to look a lot like Ilya. Ilya takes the cue, standing from his own chair with a shake of his head. He takes Shane’s hand, shaking firmly.

    “I’m Shane, uh, Shane Hollander.”

    Ilya nods. “Ilya Rozanov.”

    ——————
    Or: Shane and Ilya get sent to reconciliation therapy, and of course, handle it super well.

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    08 Feb 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    “Holy shit, dude,” Hayden whispers, too loudly, as he pulls Shane away. “No way you were just talking to Ilya Rozanov.”

    “Uh, yeah. We just met. Wait, did he lie to me?” Shane asks, looking back over his shoulder where Ilya is now standing next to a short but very muscular woman with long black hair. “What does he play?”

    Hayden stops, so Shane does too.

    “You don’t know who that was?” 

    Shane makes a face that says ‘no shit’, and waits for an answer. 

    “Dude. You are so innocent. Ilya Rozanov, ‘Russia’s Greatest Love Machine’?” Hayden says, like it’s obvious. 

    Shane looks at him blankly, and then Hayden laughs. Not like, a chuckle. He full on cackles, bending over like he can’t even contain it. “Man, he’s like prolific.”

    “At what?” Shane snaps, because he’s getting really sick of not being in on the joke. 

    “He’s a porn star, man.” 

    “A-” Shane says, swallowing thickly. “What?” 

    ---

    Ilya is a porn star, Shane is a hockey player, and their paths cross.

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    03 Feb 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    A problem is something you can fix. Ilya disappears after the cottage and Shane’s determined to find out why. He’s only loved one person in his life -- can he open his heart to another?

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    29 Jan 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane’s whining beneath him, head thrown back, exposing the long column of his neck and rutting up against Ilya. Ilya licks up his throat, nibbling at Shane’s jaw, before his lips brush the shell of Shane’s ear.

    “Tell me what you want.”

    The reply is instant.

    “You.”

    ----

    or: after his drunken confession, shane keeps avoiding ilya. at a student party ilya finally gets the chance to speak to him.
    part 2 to Close to Me

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    24 Jan 2026