paroxysme
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After a summer of recovery and revelation, Hermione is focused on her education once more. She has NEWTs to pass and a future to contemplate. While the traumas of the war are far from faded, their legacy has become manageable.
But then the complications set in. Old friendships are fracturing; hope turns to disappointment. Meanwhile, a series of thefts at St Mungo's hospital might be the first symptom of a more sinister plot.
Inevitably, Hermione is right in the thick of things. As, apparently, is Severus Snape.
This story begins four months after the Battle of Hogwarts, and follows the events of Cold Hearts and Muddy Understandings.
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- English
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- Chapters:
- 26/26
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Bookmarked by paroxysme
31 Jul 2025
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The hunger is constant: the unspeakable, dark craving for the flickering flame of life inside another person, the urge to take and take until the eyes glaze over and there’s nothing left to burn. Ted’s got a few decades’ worth of practice at keeping a tight lid on it by now. Still, some days are harder than others.
But annoying people into being the best versions of themselves they can be—well, that’s doing them a favor in the long run, ain’t it?
[A What We Do in the Shadows AU. Ted Lasso is the nicest energy vampire you’re ever likely to meet. Promise.]
Bookmarked by paroxysme
25 Sep 2024
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“I really won’t take it personally if you want someone else here,” Trent murmurs. “Not that I want to go, Ted, but—everyone told me to give you their best wishes. The only reason Coach Beard didn’t come with me is that Roy needed him around to finish up the day.”
“I’d like you to stay,” Ted tells him, which is so hard to say it makes him nauseous.
“Then I will.” Like it’s that easy. Ted sniffs again. He wipes at his face with the back of his hand and grimaces. Trent produces a packet of Kleenex from god knows where—and then, instead of handing it to Ted to clean his own damned face like an adult, he leans in and wipes at his cheeks and beneath his eyes, face twisted in concentration.
"Afraid I'm ruining all your efforts," Ted tells him as more tears stream down his face. He feels cracked open. "Shit, Trent. I'm sorry. I'm sure this wasn't what you were expecting."
"I can't say it was," Trent says, still dabbing at Ted's face with the patience and gentleness that comes only from having an emotional toddler, "but I'm glad I came either way. Now sit tight for a moment."
Bookmarked by paroxysme
25 Aug 2024
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“You’ve got to slow down, Ted, Jesus. Sucking on your finger, cream-based puns…” He trails off. Now he’s done it, blatantly flirting with a straight Midwestern man. He’s a disaster. Ted would never.
Except then Ted is dragging his wet pointer finger across his lower lip and looking at Trent like he would. “Crimm de Trenthe. It was right there waiting for me this whole time, just had to tease it out a little. You ever get that feeling, Trenthe?”
Trent feels like he’s going insane.
Bookmarked by paroxysme
22 Aug 2024
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Sleeping with Coach Beard when they were both lonely, drunk, and thinking about other people was not Trent Crimm's finest moment, but also not one he thought would come back to haunt him. Until he starts as Communications Director for AFC Richmond and (almost) the whole story comes out.
Which would be fine, if the person Trent had been thinking about that night wasn't Ted bloody Lasso.
Bookmarked by paroxysme
17 Aug 2024