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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya is always flirting with new ways to inspire Shane to press him into walls. In hindsight, he really shouldn't be surprised to find this is one of them.

    He just doesn't expect to also learn something new about himself in the process.

    ***

    Also known as, I saw a comment on tumblr that basically said 'if Ilya ever folded his clothes the way Shane did before sex, Shane would definitely lose his mind about it', and I promptly sat down and wrote this fic.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,532
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    63
    Kudos:
    881
    Bookmarks:
    172
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    19 Feb 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    It happens in an instant.

    Over Ilya’s shoulder, Shane sees the doctor and Wiebe give each other a look, and in a sudden bout of impatient anxiety, Shane ends up saying the words that come to ruin everything.

    “Don’t touch me.”

    The effect is instantaneous. Ilya’s hands fly to his sides, and Shane gets a front row seat as Ilya’s heart breaks before his very eyes. Eyes dimming and lips trembling in slow, painful technicolor.

    It causes Shane’s heart to break, too, and he vows, immediately, never to see such a look cross his husband’s face again.

    OR Shane embarks on a mission to heal his husband’s heart, one PDA at a time.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,844
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    429
    Kudos:
    17,374
    Bookmarks:
    3,804
    Hits:
    203,058

    18 Feb 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    When he was seven years old, Shane Hollander was briefly lost at an airport. Luckily, the kindness of a stranger ensured he made it back to his parents safely, putting an end to a terrifying three hours for the Hollanders. It takes twenty years (and one heated rivalry) for Shane to learn the name of his rescuer. It takes twenty years for Ilya to learn his wish had already come true.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,296
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    14
    Comments:
    908
    Kudos:
    17,344
    Bookmarks:
    3,942
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    83,919

    17 Feb 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya and Shane attend Bad Bunny's No Me Quiero Ir De Aqui residency in Puerto Rico.

    or

    Shane gets a little cross-faded at a Bad Bunny concert and it maybe ends up on the internet. Oops.

    Alternatively, the one in which I prove that "Safaera" is Shane's song, but Ilya's is "Seda." iykyk.

    **Now updated to include a little spicy post-concert scene. Can be read without, if you prefer!**

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,692
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    90
    Kudos:
    905
    Bookmarks:
    170
    Hits:
    7,818

    14 Feb 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    It’s not going viral because Jane’s true identity was exposed—or even because Ilya was blatantly sexting in public. That part’s as expected as Shane doing yoga or any human being on earth breathing.

    No, the texts are going viral because no one can believe how bad this “Jane” is at sexting.

    The women of the world are outraged. The men of the world are baffled. No one can understand why Ilya Rozanov, whose abs have their own fan club, is wasting his time on ‘a piece of cardboard that wished to be turned into a real girl’ (this particular joke has 300k likes and counting).

    Or: After a social media trend mocks Shane's sexting skills, he tries to improve them. It goes about as poorly as you'd expect.

    Now available in Russian

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,196
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1,002
    Kudos:
    30,440
    Bookmarks:
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    Hits:
    165,671

    14 Feb 2026