Gifts for twoam
List of Gifts
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Summary
King Edmund III. of House Blackadder was executed on a Wednesday.
Spectators and the assembled press report that His Majesty stood there, gaunt and noble in the early morning mist, and quite evidently mentally cursing everyone in attendance; and in a loud, clear voice (that was, however, not as great and booming as he might have liked it to be), he cried out the following deeply moving words:"My husband might have bloody well turned up!"
A bonus story for twoam's the one cure for the past is the future (the one cure for the future, the past)
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After going over the top, Blackadder doesn't die, but someone else does. Fortunately, Edmund Blackadder is given another chance to fix the situation. And then another one, and another....
Update: minor edits and rewrites thought all chapters, the last chapter grew enormously.
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Leo thinks at least one character in "Prisoners of Love" seems familiar. Max demurs.
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You've Got Voicemail by WyvernQuill for twoam
Fandoms: The Goes Wrong Show (TV 2019), The Play That Goes Wrong Series - Lewis & Sayer & Shields
25 Dec 2024
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Hello. This is the voicemail of- "Robert!" -who can't be reached at the moment. Please leave your message after the tone!
Beeeeep.A love(?) story, told mostly through Robert Grove's voicemail inbox.
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Darling's remarkable resemblance to French traitor the Duc de Darling - no relation - sees him unwillingly sent to infiltrate a German-occupied château. Blackadder accompanies him even less willingly, especially when he learns exactly what it is they're looking for.
(Baldrick is also there, but no one bothered to find out if it was willingly or otherwise.)
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When Edmund Blackadder, bloodied from shrapnel and ears ringing from the shelling, stumbled over Captain Darling's body caught in a tangle of barbed wire, he did not, despite many assurances towards it over the years, laugh, clap, and dance.
Instead, Blackadder took in the dark-wet definitely-not-mud stain spread all over Darling's uniformed chest, the pistol lax in his grip, his unseeing eyes turned up towards the overcast sky, and said, "oh, bloody buggering hell.""Quite," agreed Darling, squinting down at his own corpse; and, despite the unfortunate circumstances, took great pleasure in hearing Blackadder scream like a little girl.
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Lenny and Carl are dispatched to do some shopping on Mr Burns’ behalf.
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«Welcome, my dear listeners! It’s your gorgeous boy Francis once again, here to predict that—yes, I can see it! The shittiest week in your life is just around the corner. But before we get to that: I want to read to you this interesting email I received a few days ago. It’s from Fabian, no last name, who claims to be an immortal. Now, they’re not exactly rare nowadays but most of them are young immortals—this guy says he’s from ancient times. Born under Emperor Traianus, although he says he forgot the year. He apparently needs romantic advice, and he thought to ask...me? Buddy, you're unwell.»
Series
- Part 2 of francis_alt_timeline
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when god opens a door by leeklustre for twoam
Fandoms: TSA America: Level Orange, TSA America: Level Orange "Just Relax" Video
15 Feb 2021
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Seth doesn't live in the kind of world where he can just want things. Hope for things.
A surreal encounter turns that world upside down.
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Blackadder schemes to take advantage of Darling's talents.
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Captain Darling is, much to his displeasure, assigned to a mission with Blackadder. It's another one of the General's hare-brained notions, to investigate an aggressive tree...