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you don’t want to be high like me
never really knowing why like me
you don’t ever want to step off that roller coaster and be all alone
and all i know are sad songs
The realm between realms goes by many names. Shadowhunters call it Purgatory, the Seelies call it the Shroud. It smells like clean ash, like pinewood burnt to dust. The washed out white of the landscape matches the image the scent inspires. The terrain varies, but the palette is always the same--powdery, faded shades of grey.
Alec read about Purgatory in the library at the Institute growing up. He isn’t sure the souls passing through are atoning or being judged as they float through the grey realms, but he doesn’t have a better name for it. All he knows for sure is that it’s no-man’s-land, the crossing grounds between Hell, Heaven, and Earth. Any demon hoping to get to Earth without being summoned has to pass through Purgatory. Alec supposes Angels would have to pass through as well, if they were so inclined. They don’t seem to be, though, and all that roams through Purgatory are the souls of the dead and lesser, unsummoned demons with hopes of crawling through small cracks in the worlds.
And there’s Alec, of course.
The power was a surprise, apparently rare even in warlocks. It’s still new, still makes Alec’s heart race nervously, hidden under steeled resolve--but if he can stop even one demon before it finds its way to Earth, it’s worth it.
That’s what Alec reminds himself when it gets so dark he can’t see three feet in front of him and it’s too dangerous to conjure a light. It’s what makes him feel so deeply satisfied when his astral wings return to his body and a great corpse disintegrates before him.
He sits on the bank of a glass-pebble stream and rinses the evidence of battle from his skin. The water is frigid, raises goosebumps on his skin. When his hands are clean, Alec reaches inside himself and then outward, looking for the secret doors that only open for him.
When he opens his eyes the monochromatic landscape is gone. A warm, rich palette has replaced it. Deep purple curtains cover the windows and ten-times-antique furniture adorns the room. The smell is so familiar that Alec barely smells anything at all. They built the tower together, when even Magnus’ abilities to warp space inside the old bank were stretched thin and they slowly took over the entire Brooklyn block. The tower is their own, invisible to the mundanes on the street below, far above the normal bustle of the Vault.
Alec brushes his fingers over a bouquet of azure flowers sitting in a vase on the credenza. They’re not wilted. That’s good. It mean’s Alec hasn’t been gone long.
Sometimes it’s hard to tell in Purgatory.
“Alexander...” Alec’s heart thuds, slow and pleased, like something heavy sliding into place. Magnus stands in the doorway holding a glass of red wine. “How’d it go?”
Alec goes to place his bow on the mahogany rack by the door.
“I tracked a glutton-shade for a few days, managed to catch up and kill it before it found its way through...”
Alec hangs his seraph blade below his bow and then waves his hand over a long line of colored, stone discs hanging above the weapons rack. A blank purple disc flips over to reveal the image of a feather and a fang curved around an arrow. It sits between a blue stone marked with a cat’s eye and a blank red one. Farther down there’s a spanish rose over a crown on slate, a lily crossed with a sword on green, and silver and orange discs that will never flip again. At least thirty more follow. It’s a system they developed a few decades ago when the Vault got big enough that it became difficult to know who was present at any given time. Bars with matching discs were hung all over the Vault, and when one disc flipped, so did all its siblings--one disc for each key leader of the Alliance, an emblem for home, a blank for absence.
“What time is it?” Alec asks as he turns back towards Magnus.
“Late.”
“Why are you awake then?’ Alec asks, making his way across the room towards the elder warlock.
“You know I don’t sleep well when you’re away, dove,” Magnus says, setting his glass down on a brass bar. “Least of all when you’re away where I cannot follow.”
Alec doesn’t hesitate when he reaches Magnus, scoops him into his arms, breaths deep. He’s warm and solid. The heat from his body sinks into Alec, such a relief after the hazy chill of Purgatory. It’s always so cold there, the kind that never touches your skin, but skips its way straight to Alec’s bones.
Alec carries Magnus to bed, sets a fire burning loudly in the hearth and banishes their clothes.
“Missed you,” Alec says as he pulls the covers back and lays them down on silky sheets.
He spreads the duvet back over their bodies, reveling in the trapped heat.
“You weren’t gone as long as I expected,” Magnus says.
“Our anniversary is at the end of the month,” Alec says, rubbing a thumb over Magnus’ jaw. “I didn’t want to risk missing it.”
Magnus runs his fingers over the line of Alec’s sternum. He’s flushed softly with the wine that he’s been drinking throughout the evening; matte purple highlights his eyelids tonight.
“Probably for the best,” Magnus says, happy glint in his eye. “I dread to think what would happen to you if you missed our centennial…”
Alec kisses him, the last of purgatory’s chill fading away.
“Forget Purgatory… I’m pretty sure I’d be safer trapped in Hell…”
“Probably…”
xxx
Magnus wakes in the middle of the night, gasping, with tears running down his cheeks. He’s disoriented, doesn’t know where, or when, he exists. There’s a fire burning low in a stone hearth. The room about him isn’t the one he was in just moments ago. His chest rises and falls quickly as his brain desperately tries to catch back up with reality.
“Magnus?” a familiar voice. So achingly familiar--he’d momentarily forgotten. “Magnus, are you okay?”
There’s a ball of light floating above their heads, pale gold and warm. A tiny sun in the dark.
And there’s Alec, brighter than the light.
“I’m--I was dreaming. I had a dream,” Magnus trips the words out.
Alec’s knuckles are dragging over his cheeks, wiping the tears away, thumbs sliding under his eyes.
“You’re alright. It was just a nightmare,” Alec murmurs, pulling Magnus to him, encircling him in the safety of his arms. “It’s not real.”
Magnus squeezes his eyes shut, tries to ground himself in the present.
“But it was…” he whispers.
Alec’s brow furrows and he pulls back a little to look down at Magnus.
“Tell me,” he says, not a demand, but an offer.
If he wasn’t so shaken, Magnus may have held back, but now the words just tumble out.
“I dreamt it was the day you were to be married. Except it wasn’t me you were marrying,” Magnus says, fingers digging into Alec’s biceps. “You were going to wed another and I…”
Alec frowns deeply, pain etched across his face.
“Magnus, I’m sorry, I--”
“No,” Magnus cuts him off. “It’s not your… the thought of you marrying someone else is… heartbreaking, Alexander, but that’s not the part of the dream that shook me.”
“What was it?” Alec asks.
Magnus takes one of Alec’s hands in his own, looks down at the scarred knuckles, the runed rings.
“It was… oh, Alexander, it was what led me to you that day. You were young and beautiful and so sad--so very sad… like me. I’d known you for no more than a few months; we had nothing but a shadow of a hope of love… and a love destined for tragedy at that. So what makes a man lay himself before another like that?”
Magnus sees Alec swallow and he dips his head, speaking to their joined hands.
“Alexander… I was such a broken man, heart shattered so very many times. I’m surprised you had anything to put back together when you found it. I’d lost lovers and friends and family… betrayals, deaths… quiet sort of endings that almost leave you aching worse. I’d given up, decided that the moment was the only thing an immortal could live for… to experience every fleeting pleasure and collect them like souvenirs. Then I met you… and every promise I made to myself just fell away,” Magnus says, and then a smile suddenly grows on his face as he feels Alec about to apologize again. He’s already feeling better. He doesn’t have to bear this weight alone. He covers Alec’s mouth before he can start. “Don’t apologize, petal. Clearly it all worked out in the end.”
Alec responds by kissing the palm of his hand. He’s never been particularly good with words, but Magnus knows what he means without speeches.
“I just… I guess I forgot how I felt then. Literal lifetimes ago… I was a different man, and I’d forgotten what it felt to hurt like that… to feel so hopeless.”
Magnus is somber as Alec pulls him back to his body, buries his face in Magnus hair. The older warlock pushes him away, just enough to join their lips together, intent on chasing away the pain with pleasure. Alec responds quickly, deepening the kiss. Magnus nips at his lips and Alec nips back, harder.
He rolls them over, takes Magnus’ wrists and presses them to the bed above their heads. He buries his face in Magnus’ neck, nipping sharply down the column of his throat. Magnus gasps and then moans softly. Alec knows what he needs--they always know what the other needs.
“Oh…” Magnus breaths. “How I wish there was a way to tell him… tell that sad, sad man, sitting in his chair all alone… that there was no reason to drown his sorrow in a scotch that nice… What a waste.”
Magnus feels Alec shake his head, his chuckle fanning out over Magnus chest. He bites down, right under Magnus’ collar bone. Magnus’ spine arches as he sucks in air.
And the last of the nightmare’s shadow is chased away.
xxx
Alec gets up before Magnus, though both of them slept in much later than usual. Alec notices the red disk is flipped before he even makes himself coffee. A whip with the head of a snake, fangs dug into an anatomically correct heart. Alec skips his breakfast in favor of heading straight for the core of the Vault.
She’s not hard to locate, never is. Alec tracks her down in the Hall of Colors, entertaining one of Simon’s history classes--he likes to get thematic in this subject and tends to take his teachings to various venues. Alec supposes when you also taught math you’d want to try and make yourself as fun as possible in other ways.
Isabelle sits under an onyx statue of a lioness with twenty wide-eyed, little faces staring up at her-- Simon, too. Alec guesses her effects never really wear off. Shafts of light cast through stained glass paint technicolor splashes all over the room. Izzy’s washed in an orange glow.
“Do you all want to know a secret?”
Her hair is intricately braided, a style Alec hasn’t seen her wear before. A tattered black cloak is wrapped around her shoulders and the her audience is enraptured, heads bobbing. She leans over conspiratorily, delighting in the attention. Alec sighs.
“The Dark Angel’s magic isn’t naturally purple--he makes it that way so it matches his dark aesthetic. It’s actually--”
“Isabelle,” Alec cuts in before she can completely destroy any respect he’s earned over the years.
Not that Alec was the one who came up with the intimidating moniker. If Alec recalls it was Meliorn who coined the name--or maybe it was Raphael. It had been said in jest, but then spread like wildfire. Now strangers come to the Vault--hedge witches from Cuba, fey folk from Quebec--and all of them call him the Dark Angel. He wonders if one day the world will forget he was ever Alec Lightwood. He’s not quite sure what he’ll feel on that day--remorse, or relief?
Isabelle’s smile gets even bigger when she sees Alec.
“Brother!”
She hops off the podium and saunter-bounces in Alec’s direction. She kisses him on the cheek and Alec doesn’t hug her even though he wants to. He’s already been embarrassed enough.
“Simon, is that true?!” a curly-haired werewolf girl asks in a failed whisper, eyes trained on Alec. “What color is his magic?”
“I’m going to plead the fifth on that one, Sammy. Alec knows where I sleep and I have a vested interest in all my limbs staying attached to my body,” Simon says, ushering them towards the stained glass panels at the end of the hall. “Not that Alec would ever hurt anyone…! I mean he’d never hurt any of you…”
“My magic is all pink… should I learn how to change its color?” a little warlock boy with orange hair asks Simon.
“Your magic is beautiful, Oruta. You should only change it if you want to,” Simon says, leading them out of earshot.
Alec follows Isabelle out of the Hall of Colors. It’s already mid morning, so the corridors are bustling, not that they ever seem quiet these days. There’s always at least a few patrols coming to or from the portal room. At this point the Alliance is responsible for demon activity all over the eastern seaboard. And their range has only been expanding, the Clave abandoning Institutes all over the Americas. From what they’ve been told by the Shadowhunters who still occasionally show up on the doorstep of the Vault, there’s a growing nativist movement taking root in Idris.
“Why do you always have to do that?” Alec asks as they duck into Alec’s study.
Izzy smiles at him coyly and leans up against the desk.
“Oh, just trying to help. You’re their beloved leader. It wouldn’t do for them to be so afraid of the Dark Angel that they won’t speak their mind,” Izzy says gleefully. “You know, that’s why Donoruk the Fierce was overthrown.”
Alec rolls his eyes and takes a seat on a modern red sofa.
“It wasn’t,” Alec corrects. “He was infected with a demon virus and choked on his own vomit.”
“Nerd,” Izzy says, shrugging as she comes over to join Alec on the couch.
In spite of everything Alec’s smiling. He’s missed his sister, even though it’s only been months since he last saw her.
“What are you doing back so soon, Iz? You were here for Christmas,” Alec says. “Not that I’m not happy to see you.”
Izzy spent the first fire decades of her immortality helping found the Alliance, but after the last of their family passed, she began her travelling and hadn’t stopped since. She was often gone for years at a time, once almost a whole decade.
“You haven’t already guessed?” Izzy says and Alec raises an eyebrow. “One hundred years is a very long time big brother. What are you giving Magnus? He’s already told me what he’s gotten you and… well, wow.”
Alec scowls at her.
“I’ve been doing this for over a century, Izzy. I think I know how to give Magnus a gift.”
He couldn’t have dug himself a bigger hole with a shovel. Damn Izzy for always bringing out his childishness.
“So what are you getting him then?”
Alec sighs and presses his thumb and forefinger to the bridge of his nose.
“Okay, you’re right. Help,” Alec gives in instead of digging himself deeper.
Isabelle kicks off her boots and tucks her toes under Alec’s thigh.
“So, what have you got so far?” Alec sighs even deeper, letting his head drop to the back of the couch. “Yikes. That bad? Okay, we better get started then…”
xxx
It turns out that after one hundred years of birthdays, anniversaries, valentines days, and a few downworlder specific holidays, it’s difficult to come up with something unique. Alec’s normally fine. He and Magnus have no problems with the classics--books, jewelry, clothing… and, in the last few decades, some adventurous additions to the chest they keep under the bed. But this is one hundred years.
It’s actually not the centennial of their marriage--it’s only the ninety-fifth anniversary of their wedding. When they picked the wedding date it just made sense to choose the day that Alec chose Magnus forever--the day Alec became a warlock. It’s been almost one hundred years since Alec gave up his mortal life, and it’s the most important anniversary that he and Magnus have.
A new necklace just isn’t going to cut it.
“Maybe it’s not a thing… what about an experience?” Alec’s already shaking his head. They’ve done surprise dinners, spirited each other off to half the countries on earth. “Okay, what about something only you can give him?”
Alec isn’t sure why it’s finally those words that do it.
Wish there was a way to tell him… tell that sad, sad man, sitting in his chair… that there was no reason to drown his sorrow in a scotch that nice…
Magnus can’t.
But Alec can.
xxx
It takes careful planning, both to facilitate the gift and make sure Magnus doesn’t find out. It takes every trick up Alec’s sleeve, three favors from various immortals, and most of his remaining time just to get ahold of the heart of a memory demon. The other supplies are no easier to obtain.
Even though the actual execution won’t take more than a few minutes, Alec still waits until Magnus is away at a convocation of High Warlocks to make his move.
He sets up crystals around the room, each charged with power over the last few weeks. He draws the lines, simple but exact. Most of the work will happen inside Alec anyway.
Alec takes a deep breath, standing in the center of the living room. He steadies himself. This sort of magic is… almost forbidden, impossible to most anyway. There are loopholes, though, workarounds.
Lights begin to dance around the room and converge in front of Alec. They create a swirling, rainbow mass. Alec focuses, tight and precise, channelling his deepest desires.
Then Alec steps, face first, into the technicolor mist.
~xxx~
“Someday, someone will come along who will tear down those walls you’ve built around your heart. When that love comes back to you, you must do everything in your power to fight for it.”
Even with Ragnor’s voice still echoing around the loft, Magnus doesn’t rise from his chair. Instead, he lets more whiskey burn down his throat. He can do as he pleases--plus, it’s not like he hadn’t tried to fight for Alec’s heart. He had--twice, actually... the second only succeeding in making Alec furious. And it’s not like the Shadowhunter doesn’t have a point. He only has one lifetime -- why should he make decisions that will hurt that very limited future?
Plus, what does Magnus have to offer in return but some magic tricks and an introduction to the pleasures that men can share with one another? Sure, Alec is attracted to Magnus, but what can Magnus give him beyond the novelty of what Alec’s never before let himself have?
What about love? his mind whispers before Magnus can crush the thought.
Magnus tops off his glass. No. What is love in the face of the life that Alec’s always planned for himself? Apparently one night, a single taste of the forbidden fruit, was enough.
Magnus hadn’t meant to let Alec in, he really hadn’t. He doesn’t even know how it happened. One minute he laid eyes a pretty-faced Shadowhunter in his club, and before he knew it… he was besotted.
Magnus’ thoughts spiral out of control. He can’t stop thinking of the wedding. Will Alec perform his marital duties this very night? Will he close his eyes and think of Magnus? Will his hands feel the same on her hips as they had on Magnus’? He feels sick. How had Alec asked for her hand, anyway? How must she have felt, with that voice, those eyes, asking her? Magnus simply wonders how it would feel to be asked by anyone. Hundreds of years piled up behind him, and not one person has ever asked -- nobody’s ever looked at Magnus Bane and said I want you to stay with me.
His eyes burn worse than his throat, self-pity threatening to overwhelm.
“You’re going to regret drinking all that.”
Magnus freezes and then steadies himself in less than a second. He doesn’t turn around, refuses as his chest twists into defensive knots. The words are odd and unfitting, but the voice he knows.
“I don’t really see how that’s any of your business. Well, what is it now, then?” Magnus asks, knowing Alec can’t be here for him, but for his magic. He really has to give them the name and number of another Warlock in this blasted city. “Cutting it a little close to your nuptials, don’t you think…? If you need special wards because the Clave envoys are visiting I must regretfully inform you that I already have plans for the evening.”
He swirls the amber liquid around the bottom of his glass, knowing he sounds bitter--but then he is bitter, so.
He continues, “I have a friend named Clorophia who does good work…”
Magnus hears a snort.
“Yeah. Clorophia is more likely to poison us than fix our wards.”
He’s not wrong, Magnus thinks before something intensely vital clicks into place.
Alec has never met Clorophia.
Magnus stands rapidly, turning to face the doorway.
Across a crowded room, the figure in the door would surely appear to be Alexander Lightwood, the Shadowhunter that Magnus has come to know. In the solitude of the loft, though, the differences are multitudinous.
His hair is a little more wild than Magnus has seen it before, and there’s a cuff around the helix of his ear -- and that’s only the beginning of his adornments. He’s wearing a simple navy shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. A chain curls over the bare back of his neck, disappearing under the collar of his shirt, and there are rings around a few of his fingers. His nails are painted a soft sort of charcoal grey and, if Magnus isn’t mistaken, there’s a touch of kohl under his eyes. His posture is still curled slightly, but even standing still there’s a new self assurance in his stance. The Alec that Magnus knows moves like a feral cat, dangerous but still wary of wild dogs -- this Alec gives off the impression of a panther. There’s a power crackling somewhere just underneath his skin.
“You’re not my Alec,” Magnus says, drawing energy into his hands.
Magnus notices a shimmering outside his windows, and his eyes lock onto the egg sized pearl in Alec’s hand -- a Seelie pocket-realm. They’re alone in a world created by fey folk, a bubble where time refuses to pass. The Seelies use them for meditation and contemplation, but apparently they have other uses.
“Actually, the idiot getting ready say his vows before the Silent Brothers is the Alec that doesn’t belong to you,” Alec says, tone touched by both amusement and sorrow.
It’s really him. Magnus doesn’t know how he’s so sure, but the being before him is definitely Alec Lightwood, at least in some way.
“You’re older…” Magnus realizes. That would explain the Seelie realm. Time is a fragile thing, precautions would have to be taken. A much more important realization then dawns on Magnus; he sets his glass down, eyes still locked on Alec. “Magic like that cannot be performed by anyone. It’s a unique ability… and the power it would take…”
That brings a sort of sheepish look Alec’s face.
“I have a knack for realm magic. My warding isn’t great, as you love to remind me, and I could never get detailed conjuring down, but…” Alec says.
Magnus’ brow furrows.
“You? But that’s… impossible. Shadowhunters aren’t -- that’s warlock magic.”
Alec’s lips twitch.
“You’re not wrong. Don’t freak out… I promise I’m still me…”
He raises a hand, turns open his palm. There’s one golden spark, and then a purple fire blooms in his palm. Alec glances at it, chuckles, and then it burns even brighter, flames turning to silver and gold.
“Who are you?” Magnus breathes.
Alec drops his hand slowly, ball of magic blinking out as his fist closes around it. He holds Magnus’ eyes as he speaks, open and pressing for understanding.
“I’m Alec. The Alec that does belong to you.”
There’s no lie in his eyes, but Magnus just doesn’t understand.
“Explain,” Magnus says.
He moves towards Magnus, and the warlock feels frozen, feet glued to the floor.
“I’m here to create a memory for you. I know what you’ve been thinking today. One day you’ll tell me exactly how you felt, and I just wanted to give you… this.” His hand comes up as if to stroke Magnus’ face but then hesitates, like Alec’s doing it out of habit and is just now realizing they’ve never been so gentle with one another before. But then Magnus’ chin flinches towards his hand and Alec completes the motion. His palm is warm, burning softly into Magnus’ cheek. “I wanted you to know that one day soon you won’t be alone. That by tomorrow you and I will both be heading towards something. I… I wanted you to know that I’m going to fall in love with you… and for the hundredth anniversary of the day I decided to be with you forever, I want to give you this memory.”
Magnus is loathe to admit it, but he’s trembling, pinned by Alec’s eyes and unable to comprehend his words.
“We get married?”
Alec smiles softly.
“Yeah, we do. Ninety five years ago. Well, for me.”
“But you said one hundred...” And Magnus thought he couldn’t be more confused.
Alec’s thumb brushes over Magnus’ cheek.
“Yeah. One hundred years since I became a Warlock.”
That’s right. He’d almost forgotten that the Alec he knows is a mortal Shadowhunter, destined to die.
The simple fact is that this Alec’s tale is too good to be true. There has to be some sort of evil in this - there is no way that Magnus gets such a pure ending. He goes cold as the words sink in further, brimming with questions about how Alec became a warlock and mild horror at some of the implications.
“What did I do...? How could I…?”
The words come out on a shaky breath. Alec’s other hand comes up to Magnus’ opposite cheek, holding his head in place. Alec dips to hold his eyes, looking like he understands Magnus’ fearful confusion about his immortality.
“Hey, hey… no. It wasn’t you. I’d never ask that of you,” Alec says. “I made a deal with Clorophia. She summoned a collector demon and Izzy and I traded our angel blood for theirs.”
“Isabelle, too?”
Alec smiles warmly.
“She had her own reasons for wanting to be a Warlock, but I’m… so happy she did. They call her the Wayfaring Witch these days.”
“The Wayfaring Witch?”
It has a beautiful sort of mysticism, and Isabelle Lightwood’s face flits through his mind. Yes… with the shackles of a Shadowhunters’ life removed, perhaps Isabelle Lightwood would be more suited to immortality than any of them.
Alec nods.
“And you became immortal… for me?”
The sweet words taste odd on his tongue. Like biting into a peach after spending centuries chewing bitter lemons. Alec ducks his head, standing so close now. His words fan out over Magnus’ ear.
“Yes… Magnus...”
Magnus can barely breathe, completely overwhelmed by the tale Alec is spinning as well as his intoxicating proximity.
He licks his lips. “So, is that why you came back? To tell me that you... love me? And that you became immortal for me?”
He’s shaking, he knows he is. Even the shadow of a hint that this may really be Alec from their future threatens to undo him. If it wasn’t so dark outside, if there wasn’t still the lingering effects of fine whiskey in his veins, and if he wasn’t so… so very alone on this night, perhaps Magnus would resist more. He would see that he should fight harder, in case this is a malicious trick or trap.
But Magnus wants to believe -- and in some yet-unknowable place, Magnus feels in his very bones that this is Alec… and that there’s no lie in his eyes when he speaks.
Alec finally responds, his voice going rich and warm.
“Yes, that… and to show you that a lot has changed besides my blood since you took my virginity.”
Magnus’ breath catches in his throat as Alec’s lips brush his earlobe, slowly sliding his hand down Magnus’ forearm. His hand closes around Magnus’ wrist and he squeezes… just enough that Magnus knows.
There’s no hope of resisting him anymore - Magnus has no chance.
He makes an embarrassingly vulnerable noise and finally leans into Alec’s touch, tucking his face in the crook of the taller man’s neck. This Alec smells different, smoke and bourbon and electricity all rolled into something that seems like it was crafted just to drive Magnus wild, and the hairs on the back of his neck all stand on end when Alec kisses the side of his throat.
“You know, I was scared back then,” Alec murmurs against his skin, sliding his free hand around to rest on the small of Magnus’ back. “Terrified.”
Magnus’ throat feels dry. “Of what?”
“Of what you made me feel.”
Alec’s thumb starts rubbing small circles against his skin, making Magnus feel weak in the knees. He blames the whiskey. Or this very vivid dream. Or, even more absurd, the possibility of him actually getting a happy ending.
“But that’s no excuse for how I acted, leaving you like this,” Alec continues. He pulls back to look at Magnus, his eyes kind and sad. “You’re shaking.”
“S-sorry,” Magnus stammers, feeling off-balance with this confident, assertive Alec.
Alec shakes his head, huffing out a laugh. “No no no, I’m the one who came here to apologize. I’m going to make it up to you.” His hand slides a little lower on Magnus’ back. Magnus can’t look away from him, eyes wide. “If you’ll have me.”
Magnus almost laughs - if you’ll have me, please. His eyes flick down to Alec’s lips as he nods, heart racing, and the next second Alec’s dipping down to close the gap between them and joining their lips in a soft, knowing kiss. Magnus gasps into his mouth and tentatively reaches up to place his hands on Alec’s slim hips, feeling like a blushing virgin as Alec tugs him closer with the hand on the small of his back.
Alec brings his free hand up to cup Magnus’ cheek again, deepening the kiss and licking into his mouth. The kiss is practiced in a way that makes Magnus’ toes curl but Alec’s almost lazy about it, like he does this all the time and knows exactly how Magnus likes it. That makes him groan and crowd closer to Alec, sucking on his lower lip and whimpering when he gets a soft bite in return.
Alec’s brown eyes are truly wicked when he pulls back, looking Magnus up and down like he’s a piece of meat. It’s overwhelming to feel the full force of his gaze. “Hmmm.”
“What’s wrong?” Magnus asks breathlessly.
“Nothing, I’m just… thinking,” says Alec. “See, I know what my husband of ninety-five years likes from me…” Another surge of emotion that feels like it’s tugging at Magnus’ very soul. “But I also know our… tastes evolved as both of us did.”
Magnus may still be overwhelmed but his cock is already getting with the program, half-hard in his slacks. He leans in for another kiss and groans quietly when Alec moves back just slightly.
It’s then that Alec smirks, laughing quietly at whatever he sees in Magnus’ eyes. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. Alright, c’mon.”
Next thing Magnus knows he’s being picked up in a bridal carry. “Alec!”
“What, no Alexander for me?” Alec laughs, kissing Magnus on the cheek. “I loved it back then, you know - still do. You’re the only one that calls me that.”
He walks them into Magnus’ bedroom and sets Magnus down on the bed, crawling on top of him after kicking his shoes off. He finally kisses Magnus again, hot and open-mouthed as he settles his full weight on top of him. It’s been… it’s been so long since someone has laid Magnus down like this, taken care of him. Handled him so carefully.
“Hey,” Alec whispers. He thumbs over Magnus’ cheek and rolls his hips ever-so-slightly, making Magnus gasp. “I love you. You saved my life by coming after me.”
“What - what do you mean?”
“Crashing my wedding,” Alec explains. Magnus’ jaw drops. “You won’t remember any of the specifics of this after I leave, I’m not fucking with time that much. But… yeah. You didn’t give up on me.”
Magnus almost feels like crying. Alec’s gaze is almost too tender to bare, but then it turns heated again. “And I’ve got a century of experience I’m gonna use to make it up to you.”
He rolls his hips harder this time, enough to let Magnus feel every inch of him. He’s a little sore from last night but he wants.
“Can you tell me more about… us?” he tries. “Since I’m not going to remember anything once you're gone?”
Alec laughs. “Maybe if you’re good.”
Oh. Magnus’ dick likes that very much, twitching and straining in his slacks, and from the way Alec’s smiling, it didn’t go unnoticed.
“That’s what I thought,” Alec murmurs, reaching in between them to tug at Magnus’ tunic. “It’s alright, Magnus. It’s… everything’s gonna turn out okay. Great, eventually.”
Tears prickle at Magnus’ eyes again as he lets Alec pull his tunic over his head. “If this is some kind of… joke, or-”
Alec shakes his head. “Never.”
He dips down to kiss Magnus again, pinning him to the bed with his body. Magnus pushes up against him, trying to get closer, and Alec makes a low noise in his throat and grabs for his wrists, fingers tightening around them as he presses closer. It’s so out of character for the Alec that Magnus knows - yesterday his hands were tentative, skating over Magnus’ sides like he was afraid to touch him even when their bodies were connected - that Magnus gasps into this Alec’s mouth, squirming against him as Alec’s tongue starts to move rhythmically.
“I’m gonna make you feel so good,” Alec murmurs, a whispered promise against his lips.
He leans up a bit, takes his hands away so that he can take his own shirt off, and for some reason Magnus feels a bit off balance, unsure what to do with his own hands. He watches greedily as Alec’s shirt comes off, raking his eyes over the sculpted muscles of his abdomen, scarred with runes.
One rune in particular catches his eye and makes him gasp.
“Is that-?”
“A lot can happen in a century, you know that,” Alec tells him, voice calm and collected. “Don’t worry about it right now. Everything that happens is worth it, for us.”
Magnus swallows down all his questions and runs his hands over Alec’s chest, hesitantly exploring the stark black mark and then the surrounding skin. Alec lets him, a small, amused smile on his face.
“For us,” Magnus repeats softly.
“That’s right,” Alec grins.
While Magnus’ hands are still busy wandering, Alec’s eyes drop between them and he snaps his fingers once, banishing both Magnus’ pants and his own to separate corners of the room. Magnus startles - he’d almost forgotten that Alec - this Alec, future Alec, is a warlock.
He realizes he’s definitely not going to forget it a second later when Alec twists one hand slowly and magic starts to buzz in Magnus’ wrists, drawing them up toward the headboard.
“I literally only came here to do things I know you enjoy, from experience,” Alec drawls, kohl-rimmed eyes dark. “But just in case it gets too weird or something, our safeword is Valentine.”
Magnus doesn’t know whether to laugh or moan. He does both, sort of. “We have a safeword?”
His wrists meet the headboard and stay there, held by magic, as Alec replies, “Yeah, Magnus. A hundred years is a lot of time to get up to stuff.”
Magnus’ head spins, imagination on overdrive trying to imagine all of the acts Alec could possibly be referring to. He’s almost fully hard in his briefs now, especially once he makes to adjust himself and remembers his wrists are held fast above his head.
“You know, for the first decade or so, you were the one domming me, whenever we played like that,” Alec says conversationally, starting to kiss a path down Magnus’ throat between phrases. “Then I finally got more confident and realized you really liked it when I tossed you around a little.”
He continues his journey down to Magnus’ chest, his body arched so as to deny Magnus contact where he really wants it.
“I’m really not going to remember any of this, am I?” Magnus gasps.
Alec laughs. “Not when I’m revealing all of our secrets.” He closes his lips around a nipple, sucking gently for just a few seconds, and Magnus keens and rolls his hips. “You’ll remember enough, though.”
When he returns his attention back to Magnus’ nipple he uses teeth this time, little nips and bites that he soothes with the point of his tongue. Magnus’ nipples have always been sensitive, and each little bite sends a small shockwave directly to his cock, now completely hard and straining against his briefs. Alec must know how much this affects him - he’s smiling against Magnus’ skin as he seals his lips once more and sucks, a little harder, before switching to the other side.
“Alec,” Magnus urges him, squirming.
Even if this is a dream, it’s a wet dream that’s hitting all of his deepest fantasies, so he’s determined to stay in the moment.
Then Alec lowers his hips, rutting against Magnus’ thigh as he lavishes attention on the second nipple, and Magnus’ cock starts leaking.
“Alec, please-”
“Shhh,” Alec urges him, drawing off to look up at him. His lips are wet and red, and Magnus curls his fingers in his magical bonds. “I don’t want you to speak unless I say you can, okay? Or unless you need to use your safeword.”
Magnus bites his lip, brain running on overdrive, and Alec must see it in his face because he leans back up for a quick kiss.
“I’m selfish when it comes to you, Magnus, I want all your focus on me,” he whispers when he backs away again. “Can you be good for me, let your brain shut off for a bit? Nod if that’s okay.”
Magnus nods, something warm blooming and uncurling in his chest. He can’t look away as Alec descends back down his body, reaching up to pinch his nipples once before he starts to tease his painted fingernails near the waistband of his underwear.
It’s all Magnus can do to keep his mouth shut, humming quietly instead of urging Alec on with words. Between Alec’s instructions and the bonds on his wrists, he’s starting to feel thoroughly taken care of in a way he hasn’t in decades.
“There you go,” Alec grins. He slides his fingers lower, bending down and keeping eye contact with Magnus while he kisses where his belly-button should be.
There’s a crackle of magic in the air, then the lights go dim and a purple fire flares up in the fireplace. Magnus wants to ask him what else he can do with his magic, but he has a feeling he’s going to be finding out before the night is over.
Alec’s teasing him, fingers playing with his waistband without moving it lower, and Magnus gasps and flexes his wrists when Alec starts to mouth over his cock through his briefs. He can’t look away, mesmerized as Alec’s hot tongue traces over the shape of him, getting him wet through the thin fabric. Alec moans quietly when he tongues over his cockhead, kissing it sloppily and rutting against his thigh again.
Without thinking, Magnus tries to get rid of his underwear to make Alec’s job easier, but startles when he realizes that his magic isn’t flowing to his hands like it normally does.
Alec must sense the charge in the air, because he laughs quietly. “You’re always so impatient like this. I, uh… it’s an extra spell I use to make sure you can’t break out of my bondage charm. If it’s freaking you out I can undo that part.”
Magnus shakes his head quickly, barely able to breathe and completely overwhelmed at how much Alec’s new abilities are turning him on. It takes all the responsibility off of him, he doesn’t have to worry about holding himself back - it’s seriously too good to be true.
“Lucky for you, I’m getting impatient too,” Alec drawls, finally pulling Magnus’ briefs down to his thighs, before snapping his fingers and banishing them altogether. He licks his lips then takes the head into his mouth, no trace of hesitation, and Magnus’ back arches helplessly when he slides the flat of his tongue around the tip.
Magnus gasps, his breathing getting harsher when Alec sinks further down, drawing back every so often and torturing him with suction. He outright moans when Alec digs his tongue into the slit and then takes him all the way to the back of his throat, swallowing around him and then opening up further. Magnus’ head is spinning, losing himself in the crushing tightness of Alec’s throat, and it’s an enormous effort to keep his words at bay. He wonders what Alec would do if he did speak, wonders what his punishment would be, and has to bite his lip through a full-body shudder.
Alec moans around him, cock hard and starting get wet against Magnus’ leg, and opens his throat up further, sliding down until his nose is pressed to Magnus’ abdomen. Magnus gasps, tugging against his bonds and groaning in tortured surprise at the blinding tightness of the heat around him. Every time he has to make a conscious effort not to speak, his head feels fuzzier, and it means that he can’t focus as much on staying away from the precipice of orgasm.
When Alec pulls back up, Magnus’ entire cock is shiny with spit, obscene and impossibly hard. He watches it twitch, actually fucking twitch, when Alec leans down to mouth at his balls, one after the other.
“You know,” Alec tells him, gravel in his voice that makes heat slide down Magnus’ spine, “I actually came untouched the first time you sat on my face.”
Magnus lets out a strangled groan, literally clenching his teeth together so he doesn’t blurt out anything embarrassing.
He squeezes his eyes shut and sobs quietly when Alec moves lower, using his big hands to spread Magnus’ ass cheeks apart before licking a fat stripe over his hole with that wicked tongue. His magic’s going wild inside him, trying to burst out of him in different colors every time Alec flicks his tongue just so, but it’s all held captive by the magical bonds Alec’s placed on his wrists and hands. Without magic as an outlet, all he can do is lay there and take it.
Alec digs his thumbs in and spreads him wider, sucking lightly over him before pointing his tongue and trying to push inside. Magnus is writhing under him, panting loudly and moaning a little on every exhale at the inescapable pleasure.
He starts really testing the boundaries of Alec’s magic once Alec settles between his thighs and hoists Magnus’ legs over his shoulders - his dark hair is right there between Magnus’ legs, begging to be tugged on as Alec eats him out, and Magnus tries desperately to get his hands free, failing over and over. Alec’s spell holds fast, which is hotter than it has any right to be, and Magnus squirms on his tongue as precome beads out of the tip of his cock, lying hard against his abs.
Eventually he can’t take it anymore. “Please.”
Alec stops what he’s doing and pulls back to look at him. His brows are drawn together, disapproving, and his lips and chin are wet with spit - he’s the most beautiful being Magnus has ever seen, and he struggles at his bonds again, desperate to touch him. “Please please please-”
“What do you want, Magnus?” Alec asks him. He doesn’t sound upset, but almost - condescending, maybe, which hits on buttons Magnus hasn’t thought about in decades. His cock twitches. “What’s so important you had to interrupt one of my favorite things to do?”
Magnus feels his cheeks color and he inexplicably tries to close his legs, even though that’s impossible because Alec’s in between them. He realizes that he actually didn’t know what he was going to say after please, just that he wanted - he wants.
Alec turns his head and kisses his inner thigh, his breathing a little heavy. “Do you trust me to make you feel good? Or am I gonna keep getting interrupted every time I try to?”
Magnus’ blush deepens. “I - sorry. It’s just - a lot to process.”
“Of course,” Alec says, his eyes soft. “That’s why I’m trying to help you let go.” He kisses Magnus’ thigh again. “You deserve this, Magnus, let me give it to you.”
Magnus shudders. He wants to make a joke about how he’d have started cooperating with Shadowhunters a lot sooner if he’d known this was what he’d be getting out of it, but this is more than just a one-time thing and they both know it. He just nods instead, trying to settle back against the pillows and arching off the bed with a cry instead when Alec gets back to what he was doing.
He’s so good at this, better than he has any right to be, unless of course he’s actually real and has actually had a hundred years of practice doing exactly what Magnus likes. His back is covered in scarred-over runes, broad and unbelievably erotic with the way Magnus’ legs are draped over it. Alec moans then curls his tongue inside him, making Magnus swear quietly.
When he pushes the first finger inside him Magnus loses it, moaning his name and working up a sweat with how hard he’s struggling to move his arms. Alec isn’t fazed but it seems to turn him on; Magnus watches his ass dimple and flex as he thrusts against the bed a few times. Magnus’ mouth starts to water imagining how good it’s going to feel when Alec finally gets inside him.
“Tell me when you’re close,” Alec murmurs into his skin, curling his finger and stroking him from the inside. He pushes closer, so eager that for a second he reminds Magnus of the Alec he made love to last night, enthusiastic and so, so willing.
Magnus groans and rocks his hips up, trying to get friction against his leaking cock. Some part of him hopes Alec is going to take pity on him and touch him, but another, confusing part of him hopes Alec doesn’t. His chest is heaving, breaths getting shallower as Alec pays more attention to his prostate, licking around his entrance as he presses in against that spot over and over.
He almost says please again but catches himself at the last minute, keeping his mouth shut and letting himself sink further down, down, pleasure radiating out from Alec’s lips and tongue and finger. The more he relaxes, the more he lets go, the stronger the pressure becomes that’s building inside of him.
“Alec - Alexander,” he croaks. He feels Alec’s mouth quirk up even though his tongue doesn’t stop its movements. More precome drips out of his cock and he feels like he’s about to crawl out of his skin, but he doesn’t - he doesn’t want this to end- “I - I can’t s-stop - I’m going to-”
He cuts off with an anguished wail when Alec draws back, taking his mouth away but leaving his finger deep. “Don’t come yet.”
Magnus wants - he needs Alec’s mouth back, but he won’t be able to control himself if he gets it. “Alec.”
“I don’t want you to come until I have three fingers inside,” Alec tells him, his voice soothing. “You can do it, Magnus, I know you can.”
Magnus nods, wild-eyed, and grunts when Alec returns to eating him out, slips another finger inside him and curls them both. “Alec, I can’t-”
“Yes, you can.”
A noise Magnus has never made before rips its way out of his chest, and he clenches his fists tight, willing himself to hold on. His orgasm is simmering right below the surface and Magnus uses every trick he knows to keep it there, eyes crossing as Alec scissors his fingers and strokes over his prostate.
His legs are starting to shake now, squeezing around Alec’s shoulders, and his body’s flashing between hot and cold from the thin sheen of sweat that’s started to accumulate on his skin. Magnus doesn’t want to stammer out anything else embarrassing so he’s biting his lip hard, so hard he’s tasting blood.
Alec takes pity on him a second later, taking his mouth away even as his fingers keep moving. “See, I knew you could be good.”
Magnus laughs and it comes out completely hysterical, tasting blood again when Alec kisses the base of his cock. He doesn’t dare open his mouth, doesn’t dare move at all, anything to keep his concentration and stave off his orgasm. From the way Alec’s pushing against his prostate, it might all be for naught in a few seconds anyway.
“Gods, you are beautiful like this,” Alec mutters, shifting on the bed. “I love you so much.”
Tears well up in Magnus’ eyes unexpectedly and he turns his face against his right bicep, trying to hide. He’s too far gone to even be embarrassed, and he bites down on a wail when Alec finally, finally presses a third finger inside.
Alec doesn’t say anything else, just kisses his shaft again then returns his mouth to Magnus’ hole, licking around where his fingers have him split open. Magnus finally lets himself relax, gives up trying to hold his orgasm below the surface, and he sobs into his arm as pleasure overtakes him, radiating out from Alec’s fingers in little electric bursts that leave him gasping for air.
He doesn’t black out but it’s close, and when he finally remembers to breathe again, there’s come all over his abs and Alec is grinning up at him from between his legs.
Magnus whimpers when he draws his fingers out, then shifts and gasps when he feels himself get completely slick inside. He wonders if he’ll ever get used to Alec having magic. “Mmm. You’ve worn me out, Alexander.”
“Oh, you’re nowhere close to worn out,” Alec grins, teasing a finger over him where he’s wet and open.
His eyes get darker, and the base of Magnus’ cock starts to tingle. He’s so over-sensitive from his orgasm that he can’t tell if it’s pleasurable or painful as it starts to spread, down to his balls and up to the tip of his dick. Magnus groans and spreads his legs, getting hot all over again when he realizes Alec wants him to stay hard. “Fuck.”
Alec gets up onto his knees, rolling his shoulders a couple of times. Magnus really, really wants to touch him, but all it takes is another reminder that he’s restrained for his cock to really get with the program. He rakes his eyes down Alec’s body and can’t help but lick his lips when he sees Alec’s dick, dark red and wet at the tip.
Alec laughs. “Yeah, c’mere.”
He lifts Magnus’ legs up again and moves closer until his cock is bumping up right against where Magnus wants it. Magnus’ own cock is still tingling with magic, fully hard again, and he feels maddeningly sensitive all over.
He groans and throws his head back when Alec starts to push inside, thick and hot, and as soon as Alec gets the head inside he drops his hold on Magnus’ legs and covers Magnus’ body with his own. Magnus buries his face in Alec’s hair and tries to blink more tears away as Alec pushes further inside, biting down gently on Magnus’ neck and groaning into his skin.
“Alec.”
“That’s it, Magnus, let me in,” Alec whispers, circling his hips gently a couple of times as Magnus wraps his legs around him. “I’ve got you.”
Magnus sniffles and tries to relax, feeling like his whole body is overheating. He clenches down for a fraction of a second by accident and they both gasp before he wills himself to relax again.
Alec kisses his neck and sighs quietly once they’re pressed flush together.
“Can I - can I touch you, please, Alexander, I need to touch you,” Magnus babbles, nosing at his hairline as the words all rush out of him at once.
“Yeah, of course,” Alec says instantly, leaning up a bit so he can snap his fingers.
Magnus wraps his arms around Alec the second he’s free, holding him as close as possible and hiking his legs up higher around Alec’s hips.
“God, I can’t deny you anything, can I?” Alec laughs, pulling out a little before pushing back in. “You’ve always been better at being a dom.”
Magnus moans, trying to roll his hips with the rhythm that Alec’s starting. “Tell me - tell me what else we get up to.”
“In bed?”
“Mhmm,” Magnus groans.
Alec leans up a bit to kiss him, their lips sliding messily over each other. His mouth tastes like toothpaste; Magnus almost laughs, because of course that’s a spell that Alec would learn. He moans instead, because Alec’s tongue is starting to mimic the rhythm of his hips.
“The first time I took you inside me,” Alec says when he pulls back, “was in London, in your flat.”
Magnus smiles. “We go to my flat in London?”
“Oh, we go all over,” Alec grins, speeding up his thrusts a fraction until they both groan. “If you can believe it, you - ah - you convince me to take lots of vacations.”
Magnus is… having a hard time believing that. He leans up and drags Alec into another kiss, moaning against his lips, his mind running wild. Alec grabs one of his hands and laces their fingers together, pinning him to the bed, and the next second tears start to leak out of Magnus’ eyes again, unbidden. He’s never felt so out-of-control, not since he was a child and his warlock powers were first starting to manifest.
Alec must taste the salt of his tears because he leans back and stares at him, eyes dark. “You’re - you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Magnus, if you take only one thing away from this… ”
Magnus’ lower lip trembles as he tries to decide between holding in his tears or his moans, because Alec hasn’t stopped fucking him and he’s starting to put more force behind each one of his deep, deep thrusts. He squeezes his eyes shut and groans, tears running down the side of his face.
“Gods, look at you,” Alec breathes, squeezing Magnus’ hand. “I just - I wanna wreck you, you have no fucking idea what you look like-” He reaches in between them with his free hand and wraps it around Magnus’ cock, jerking him in time with Alec’s thrusts. The fire in the hearth crackles and turns red, and the lights in Magnus’ room flicker.
Magnus isn’t sure if it’s him or Alec losing control over their magic that’s causing this. He thinks he could get used to that.
“That’s it,” Alec urges him, sending a pulse of magic through his cock as he flicks his wrist on the upstroke. “Magnus, you feel so good-”
Magnus drags him back into a kiss with his free hand, sucking on his tongue and pulling on the hair at the nape of his neck when Alec’s magic gets stronger, flowing through him and making his blood sing. Alec groans loudly when Magnus tugs on his hair again - the next thing Magnus knows, Alec’s hitching his hips up and changing the angle completely, slowing his pace to a dirty grind that keeps Magnus’ hips off the bed.
When Magnus moves his hand up to the crown of his head, burying his fingers in Alec’s thick hair and pulling even harder, Alec’s magic goes wild, sparking through Magnus’ entire body and making the fire roar in the hearth. Magnus chokes, throwing his head back and moaning helplessly as his orgasm is ripped from him, surprising both of them.
“Oh my god,” Alec breathes, hips stopping as he lets Magnus ride it out.
Magnus can barely breathe, spasms wracking him as his body works around Alec’s cock, Alec’s weight blanketing him.
“Magnus, yeah.” Alec kisses his forehead and shoves Magnus further up the bed as he rides out the afterglow. “That was - fuck, that was an accident, but I’m not sorry. You feel - gods.”
Magnus lets out an exhausted laugh, stretching slightly. “Now am I allowed to say you wore me out?”
Alec kisses him again, letting go of him with both hands so he can cup Magnus’ face in his own. The kiss is messy but his hands are clean, undoubtedly from magic, which Magnus appreciates, even in his exhausted state. He shivers through a little aftershock when Alec’s cock shifts inside him.
Alec groans and pulls back, eyes dark. “You have… you have no idea how good you feel.” He bites his lip, eyes roving over Magnus’ face. “I think I'm gonna show you.”
“Alec, what-”
“You remember the safeword, right?” Alec asks, a manic sort of grin on his face as he moves one of his hands, grey-tipped fingers curling in a flourish.
Magnus’ fucked-out brain is having a hard time processing what's going on. He makes a completely embarrassing squeaking noise when Alec starts to move inside him again, and his tongue feels thick in his mouth as he swallows around another moan, floating blissfully.
His nails dig into Alec’s back on reflex when a foreign sort of pleasure starts to curl in him, not completely his own, but so devastating he can’t tell where his own ends and the other begins. All Magnus can feel is tightness, wet heat around him, like he’s the one with his dick inside-
His eyes go wide.
“Alec.”
“We figured this spell out together,” says Alec, thrusting forward once. Magnus gasps, body seizing up as the sensation of tightness rolls up and down his shaft. “You’re gonna - yeah, you’re gonna feel everything I feel from now on-”
Magnus wants to laugh, wants to praise his future self for being so clever, but he can barely breathe - can’t focus on anything at all, because there’s too much happening to him. His brain, his body, his hands don’t feel like his own, and his cock is impossibly still hard, raw sensation from Alec’s body pouring into his own.
It feels so good that it almost hurts.
“One more,” Alec murmurs, voice encouraging.
Magnus’ eyes go wide. He can’t possibly mean - there’s no way Alec could expect-
“You can do it,” says Alec, like he’s read Magnus’ mind. “You fucking - deserve it, Magnus, I swear - I’d make you come all night if we had time-”
His hips are moving faster now, a tight pulse of magic sliding up and down Magnus’ cock every time Alec thrusts inside. Magnus groans, sinking further down when Alec slides his hands down Magnus’ arms and then wrestles them to the bed, pinning his wrists on either side of his head. He mouths at Alec’s shoulder, tasting the salt of his sweat, and tries to hike his legs up higher, wanting Alec deeper. It changes the angle so that Alec’s hitting Magnus’ prostate more firmly, and little bursts of pleasure-pain bloom up and down Magnus’ spine, body arching from the overstimulation.
“I love you so much,” Alec breathes again. It’s far from the first time he’s said it, and Magnus suddenly feels shy, completely overwhelmed at the possibility of having this regularly sometime in the future.
His cock jerks at the thought, smearing precome between their already sticky abs, and both of them groan at the feeling. Magnus can feel his - fuck, his third orgasm building, or maybe it’s Alec’s that he’s feeling - either way, he’s going to get it soon, and he’s starting to tremble in anticipation.
Alec squeezes his wrists, rubbing his thumbs over Magnus’ skin as his hips start to lose their rhythm a bit. “You feel that?”
“Mhmm,” Magnus breathes, open-mouthed against Alec’s skin and out of his mind. “Oh-”
They’re climbing higher, higher than Magnus thought he could go, so high he’s almost scared. Then, Alec’s grips tightens and his hips slam forward, jolting Magnus’ whole body up the bed, before crashing their lips together as they’re both swept over the edge. It’s a feedback loop of indescribable intensity, burning Magnus up from the inside out as his muscles seize up rhythmically for the third time.
He’s exhausted, floating mindlessly as little pieces of bizarre thoughts flit by him, grounded by the comforting weight of Alec on top of him. Something’s nagging at him, one of the thoughts more important than the others, but the fog in his brain is too thick right now to do anything but feel.
“That was gorgeous,” Alec says after some time as passed. “You’re gorgeous.”
Magnus probably looks like a mess, he made some embarrassing noises, and he doesn’t even want to think about what his makeup looks like right now. Still, he feels relaxed and taken care of - too good to be self-critical, at least for the moment.
His afterglow is threatened when Alec shifts a little and slowly pulls out of him.
“Don’t go.” The words come out of him unbidden, desperate and a little hoarse. “Please. Not yet.”
“I’m not,” Alec promises, cuddling up next to him and wrapping his arms around Magnus’ middle. “Don’t worry, we have some time. Well, not time, really, I’m not sure what it qualifies as when we’re in a realm like this.”
Magnus sighs and closes his eyes, relaxing against Alec’s chest. He has so many questions, but even five words wore him out and his fucked-out brain doesn’t seem forthcoming with any others, so he stays quiet for now, listening to Alec’s heartbeat and thinking about the demon blood running through his veins.
xxx
Magnus falls asleep just a few minutes later; Alec can tell because he relaxes that much more against him, snuggled close.
He wishes he could stay for longer, hours, even, but it’s starting to take extraordinary effort on Alec’s part to maintain this realm and his place in it. Magnus looks so vulnerable and small against him that Alec will happily stretch his power to its limits to remain here for as long as he can, but he’s starting to feel the tug in his soul that signifies the impending exhaustion of his powers.
Alec sighs and kisses the top of Magnus’ head, nuzzling briefly while he runs his fingers over the cooling sweat on Magnus’ shoulder. He savors the moment, then uses a little bit of his remaining strength to whisper a spell into Magnus’ hair that will restore his endorphin and dopamine levels to normal when he wakes up. It’s Magnus’ own spell, actually - he’d developed it about fifty years ago, and Alec is grateful for its existence, because if anyone deserves instant aftercare, it’s this vulnerable version of Magnus.
He peels himself out of the bed; his skin is cold in all the places where Magnus was pressed against him, but Alec swallows against the pang of sadness and mutters a quick cleaning spell for both of them. It’s a bittersweet moment, but he’s happy he was able to do this, and even happier to be able to gift this to his Magnus for their anniversary.
Alec dresses quickly, then tucks Magnus under the blankets and presses a kiss to his forehead. He wishes Magnus could remember all of this, but Alec’s only going to leave him with a little bit of positive energy, a dream that feels just out of reach and drives him to fight for Alec’s love.
Alec’s mouth twitches up and he cracks his knuckles, summoning about half of his remaining magical energy and preparing to take Magnus’ memories. After this, he has a memory demon to find.
~xxx~
A little under a week later, Alec hands Magnus a small parcel with shaking fingers.
Magnus smiles at him from across the table, golden cat-eyes rimmed with molten purple liner widening delightedly at the gift. He snaps his fingers and Alec feels the energy in the room shift for a fraction of a second before a larger wrapped present appears in Magnus’ hands.
“Oh, wow,” Alec says, reaching out to take it as Magnus hands it over the table, mindful of the candlesticks in the center. “I should’ve wrapped mine better.”
Magnus smiles at him. “It’s what’s on the inside that counts, Alexander.”
Alec swallows heavily, staring at the wrapped gem in Magnus’ hand. He really hopes so.
They’ve already finished dessert, no more excuses Alec can use to drag out the anniversary gift exchange. He hasn’t felt this nervous around his husband of ninety-five years since the day they were married.
“Do you want to go first?” Magnus prods him eventually, his smile gentle.
Grateful, Alec carefully removes the large, glittery ribbon from around the sides of his present, not wanting to tear or cut it. There’s a tag attached to it, with a simple ‘My Love’ written in Magnus’ best flowery script, and for some reason this puts Alec more at ease.
There’s a leather-bound book inside with gold-edged pages. Alec opens it up to a random page in the middle and is astonished to see a page full of Magnus’ handwriting. He flips to the next page, then the next - all the pages are handwritten, filled with Magnus’ neat script.
“A journal?” Alec smiles.
“Of sorts,” says Magnus. “We’ve… we’ve gone to a lot of places together in the past hundred years, and I thought it would be good to recount all of them. It’s organized chronologically - at first I thought I should organize it by continent, but I wanted to put emphasis on my favorite memories from each trip, and those wouldn’t make as much sense read out of order-”
“Magnus,” Alec interrupts him, recognizing his husband’s babbling for what it is, nerves. He’s a little bit overwhelmed, fingers digging into the thick pages reverently. “I love it. I - I can’t wait to read it.”
Magnus beams at him, pleased.
“And I can’t wait to go on more trips so you can write those up as well,” Alec says.
“I want to be there when you read certain portions of it,” says Magnus, eyes sparkling. “Some of those memories still get me hot and bothered decades later.”
Alec blushes, immediately thinking of the balcony in Barcelona.
Then, before he can steel himself or say any sort of disclaimer, Magnus is tearing open his own gift. Alec’s breath catches in his throat as Magnus inspects the purple gem, which fits generously in the palm of his hand.
“Alexander,” Magnus breathes. “From a memory demon?”
Alec nods. “I remember when you first taught me how to use one.”
“So do I,” Magnus laughs. “You were confused because it didn’t look like any heart you’d ever seen.”
“It still doesn’t,” says Alec. “But I harvested it myself, so now I’m convinced.”
Magnus turns it over in his palm and smiles. Then he closes his eyes and squeezes the gem, sighing deeply as he settles in to read the energy coming off of it and the memories inside it.
Alec waits, barely breathing, watching him. He knows that time moves differently inside harvested memories; throw in the Seelie pocket-realm element and he’s really not sure how long this is going to take. He watches Magnus’ face attentively, cataloguing every little change, the way his lips move and eyelashes flutter.
Alec wipes his hands nervously on his slacks and refills his wine glass.
Some time later, Magnus finally comes out of his trance. When he blinks his eyes open, his lashes are damp, and two little rivulets of tears spill out of the inner corners of his eyes.
“Magnus,” Alec breathes. “Magnus, I’m-”
“Come here,” Magnus chokes out, reaching for him.
Alec springs up and over to the other side of their table, almost knocking over the bottle of wine in the process, and drops into a squat, gripping Magnus’ shoulders tightly. Magnus wraps his arms around him and buries his head in Alec’s shoulder, clutching him so tightly Alec feels like he might burst.
“I love you so much,” Magnus mumbles into his shoulder. “The other week, when I had that nightmare - I didn’t realize how much you were listening-”
“I always listen to you,” Alec tells him earnestly, rubbing his back. “And I love you too.”
“A hundred years together and you still surprise me,” says Magnus. He leans back and beams at Alec, tear tracks glistening on his face. “I can’t - I don’t know if there are words to properly express how grateful I am. Thank you for this.”
“Thanks for saving my life,” Alec replies.
Magnus laughs, getting choked up at the end of it, and Alec feels his eyes start to burn with tears as well. He pulls Magnus back into another embrace and holds him close, breathing in his familiar scent and feeling more whole than he ever has, and wonders how they’re possibly going to top this for their next big anniversary.
Then again, Alec thinks with a watery smile, knowing Magnus, he’ll think of something.