Chapter Text
None of the guards spoke of the prisoner in cell 426 without frustration, annoyance, and, if they were honest, admiration in their voice.
She was the only prisoner who could get out of a cell handcuffed to a pole, surrounded by a dozen of the guards that had special training. It was actually quite impressive. The strangest thing about this prisoner, though, was that when, not if, but when she escaped, she was always back within the hour. Sometimes within the same 5 minutes. Who in their right mind would come back to this place?
All of the Stormcage guards were told she wasn't the normal prisoner. They were told she escaped nightly. The poor ones that got assigned her cell usually thought it would be easy. They thought they were smarter than the guards before them. But it always ended the same way every night. If there was a guard there, they would wake up the next day with no memory of how she escaped. It didn't help that the cameras were always cut off when she slipped away.
So, eventually, all the experienced guards knew what to do. If she suddenly wasn't there, just continue patrolling for half an hour or so. The next time you passed her cell, she would be back. Never mind the fact that she looked like she had just been fighting a war in heels and a Victorian-style dress. She was back.
And, over time, most of the smart ones knew not to ask the prisoner questions. She always answered, of course, but the answers never made any sense. At one point one of the new guys had taken the other's advice and come back by later to find her sitting there, writng in a blue book, wearing a wet scuba diving outfit.
He knew what the others had warned him, but curiosity took over. "Doctor Song." He calls to her, stopping outside the bars. She looked up. "Yes?"
He glanced over her get-up. "Where have you managed to possibly use that in the last hour?" She smiled. "Well, the idiot decided that we should go visit Winston Churchill. He really is a lovely man. Problem was, we ended up next to Atlantis in the bottom of the ocean." She paused, noticing his expression.
"He wanted to go look at some random life form. So we went in and had tea with the Emperor, but then he realized that I had been the one that blackmailed his dad. Long story short, I got to use a waterproof gun and He learned that the sonic has an under water setting." She then proceeded to pull her hair out of the ponytail and set the elastic by her helmet.
The guard just stared at her like she was crazy. She continued writing in the blue book. Finally he turned and continued his patrol. They were right. Don't ask.