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When Dean breaks into Sam’s last known address he is shocked to notice a thick layer of dust on everything. It looks like no one has been there for weeks, possibly even months. Which is weird. Dean has not spoken to his brother in years, but he knows Sam leaves all his latest addresses and numbers at Bobby’s. Dean takes a quick look around. There are pictures of Sam and a blonde girl on the walls, some college books are still laid out on the table and there is an empty coffee cup on the table. It looks like they just went out for five minutes and forgot to come back if the layer of dust is disregarded.
Chills are starting to travel down Dean’s spine. He waits restlessly until morning, trying to not think of worst possible scenarios. In the morning he contacts the University, says he is Sam’s next of kin who just got back to the U.S. from a tour in Iraq. The lady is charmed by his sob story and directs him to a hospital with a sympathetic voice.
In the hospital he actually has to show his real ID to confirm that he is in fact, Dean Winchester, brother to Sam. The nurses all give him sympathetic looks but no answers. When he finally meets the doctor, everything she says is a blur.
Car crash. A month ago . Lethal force. Brady dead. Jessica dead. Sam in a coma. May not wake up. Ever. Broken bones. Burns. 2nd degree. 3rd degree. Grief counselor. Arrangements. Life support.
Dean’s first reaction is denial. No way. Sam was supposed to be safe at university. He demands to see his brother at once. What he sees makes him cry. Sam is pale, the parts that are not covered in bandages. He is hooked up to more machines than Dean cares to count. Dean bites his own fist in favor of screaming out in grief and frustration. His dad is gone, his brother is in a coma – what is he supposed to do now? He spends a few hours feeling numb and useless. Then he calls his dad for what feels like the 1000th time.
“Dad? Dad, dammit, pick up your phone. Sammy’s in a coma. Dad, they don’t think he’s gonna wake up again. I don’t care where the fuck you are, just get here. They don’t know if he’s gonna make it.”
Next, he calls Bobby and asks him to research ways to fix this. Bobby says he will put everything else aside. Dean knows he will. Bobby cares for both him and Sam as if they were his own.
All the regret comes crashing down on Dean. How he has not spoken to his brother in years because he agreed with his dad that Sam was abandoning the family. Now he cannot help but think of the very real possibility that he will never speak to his brother again. That he will never hear Sam laugh or see him smile. Sam will never get his ordinary life, he will never get married to that cute blonde girl, Jess. She is dead and Sam is as good as.
Dean wants to bury it all in a fog of drunkenness and never climb out again. But he cannot. For Sam, he will fight. If there is even the slightest chance, Dean will take it. Sam is his to look out for, his to protect.
It must have been a couple of hours, when his phone rings. Bobby has no leads yet, he says. But he will call all his sources. Dean is thankful for the update, even if he feels despair that Sam might be beyond all saving.
Dean calls his dad again.
“Dad, for fucks sake. If you’re not dead you better have a damn good reason for not calling or coming here! Sam… he’s so fucking broken. Dad? Dad? Please just… come.”
Dean sits in Sam’s room. He sleeps in the chair until a nice nurse helps him and brings in a cot. He does not eat anything but cafeteria food. He has borrowed Sam’s laptop from the dusty apartment and tries to find anything, anything at all. In two weeks he finds nothing. Sam does not show any sign of improvement. He is wasting away in a hospital bed and all Dean can do is helplessly stand by and do nothing.
“Mr. Winchester, the chances are minimal that your brother will wake up again. And if he does, he might be so damaged that he is unrecognizable to you. You should think about your options here.”
They want him to shut off life support. It has been two months since the crash. One month since Dean got here. Their dad has yet to show up.
“Dad… I guess you’re dead. For your sake I kinda hope so. If I find out that you’ve been alive all this time and not come here, I’ll fucking kill you myself. I don’t fucking care that Sam walked out on us. He’s still family. Dammit dad, call me.”
When Sam’s coma hit the three month mark, the hospital tells him to look into a permanent caring facility or shut off the life support. Dean has no idea what to do. Bobby has looked everywhere and nothing has turned up. Dean does not have the resources to pay for Sam’s care in the long run. Not unless he robs a bank. But he does not just want to give up. For the first time in forever , Dean prays. Sam would laugh at him, he is sure, because he knows Dean does not believe, not really. But Sam does. Dean prays, he prays and prays and prays. He asks any deity out there, anyone, for help. He begs, he pleads. Exhausted he falls asleep.
…
He stands by Sam’s hospital bed. For centuries he has only done things to help himself. He has been reveling in punishments for the wicked; he has been living the life of a hedonistic, sadistic god. He has no idea why he is here. He has heard an unending number of heartfelt and desperate prayers and none of them have ever compelled him like this. He should not intervene. If Sam Winchester dies, the world is at no risk of ending. But the Trickster is no fool. He knows, to what lengths Dean Winchester will go to save his brother. It will all end in blood and pain. With a thought he ensures that he will not be disturbed.
He walks and stands beside Sam’s hospital bed. Gently, he places his hands on the side of Sam Winchester’s head. In a second, he has seen all that Sam has ever seen, felt all that Sam has ever felt and knows all there is to know about Sam Winchester. He feels pity. It is not an emotion he is used to feeling. Sam has no idea what destiny has in store for him. He is being manipulated by forces so strong that he has no chance of standing against them, not even with his brother by his side.
He thinks long and hard. If he chooses to take action, he will be responsible. He will need to take on Sam as his charge, as his subject. The Trickster has not wished to help anyone without ulterior motives in centuries. The feeling is alien. Compassion has not been one of his traits for a long time, caring for humanity has not been his spiel since people called him by his true name.
He knows he has already made up his mind. He calls on his grace and gently heals Sam. Not so much that people will become suspicious, but so that he can recover fairly swiftly. He takes a completely unnecessary breath and calls up greater power. Slowly, he burns away the demon blood that has been residing inside Sam since he was six months old. Now Sam’s blood matches his pure soul. For the first time in longer than he cares to remember, the Trickster thinks of himself as Gabriel. Healing Sam Winchester is something Gabriel would do.
He steps away from Sam and touches Dean’s forehead. He absorbs all Dean is. Shutting his eyes, he smiles slightly. Not like his usual taunting smirk, but an honest smile. He has a million things to do suddenly. It feels good, if he takes time to think about it. First things first, he has a demon to find and kill. Then he will find the third Winchester. Then he will watch over Sam and his brother and ensure that they get the lives they deserve, not the ones his brothers and the demons manipulate for them. He grins. He cannot wait to foil the grand plan. He is a trickster after all. In an instance he is gone without any evidence that he had ever been there.
…
Dean cannot believe it. Sam takes his first unaided breath in three months the very next day after his most feverent prayers. He thanks whoever might be out there and promise himself to actually visit a church now and then to show his gratitude. He calls his dad.
“Yeah, Sam’s actually improving. He’s not awake yet but they’re hopeful now. He’s breathing on his own. Call me.”
It takes time. A few more days, and Sam’s brain activity goes up. The doctors call it a miracle. Dean is for once, inclined to agree. He talks to Sam more now. He holds his hand. He calls Bobby who thanks whatever deities that are out there. Dean has hope. Still, he is completely unprepared for the joy of looking into Sam’s hazel eyes for the first time in what feels like forever. Sam looks confused at first and tries to say something. Dean just shushes him and tells him yes, it is really him. Sam’s eyes tear and he weakly squeezes Dean’s hand. Dean will deny it to his dying day but he is crying with joy right now. His brother is going to be okay.
It takes time. Dean calls his dad with updates, even if no one is answering . He calls Bobby too. When Sam is well enough to speak properly, he and Bobby have a very tearful conversation. Dean is happy. Sam, not so much. When he becomes conscious enough to ask questions, when he realizes that Brady and Jess are dead and not coming back, he grieves. He grieves for the woman he loved and wanted to marry. Dean does not know how to help him. Sometimes he stares into nothing, sometimes he cries. He does not remember the crash, but he gets nightmares about it in his sleep. The hospital advises Sam to get a counselor. He does. Sam gets better.
It takes time, but eventually Sam is released. He walks haltingly with a cane, and sometimes he has trouble speaking certain words. All in all, Dean is grateful. It could have been so much worse. Sam realizes it too. Dean moves in with Sam. He has put his whole life on hold for his little brother, but he does not mind. Hunting is in his blood, it is what he does but with his dad absent, presumably dead and his brother disabled and in need of assistance, Dean does the only thing he can do. He takes care of the family he has left.
…
Sam starts law school. Dean looks for a job. Sam persuades him to start college instead. Dean thinks it is ridiculous, but he actually enjoys himself. He takes courses in lore and mythology and breezes through them. It is the first time in his life he has done anything purely for himself.
He still calls dad. But he knows his place is with Sam. It will take time before Sam is okay, before he is normal again. Dean wants to be there for him. He asks Bobby to keep a look out for John. Dean misses him less than he expects, but almost ten months have gone by without a word and Dean has resigned himself to the fact that their dad died or abandoned them. It sucks and it hurts but he has other things to live for.
…
A big truck is parked outside the apartment building. John Winchester looks longingly at the window. He hesitates. He knows he will not be welcome, not by a long shot. He has his reason for going undercover and away but now they will seem petty to his sons. The demon that killed Mary is dead, and not even by John’s hand. He sighs and is about to start the car again and drive away when something compels him not to. He gets out of the car, slowly crosses the street and rings the doorbell. Behind him the ghostly presence of a smirking trickster fades.
…
He has prepared for this the last six months. He smiles as the new students fill up the lecture hall. For him absorbing knowledge is no hard task, so posing as a graduate TA, is easy as pie. He smirks, this is the first time he has played a role without having just desserts as a motive. He thinks he might grow to like it, possibly more than he should. He smiles to himself. The Winchesters are not the only ones who might be changed by this. He wonders if somehow his Father is involved, he would not be surprised. At all. His old man has a sick sense of humor. Gabriel should know, that is where he gets it from.
“My name is Gabriel Milton, I’m the TA. I’m looking forward to working with you all.”