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Yosuke really, really hated July.
Its haze scorched the walkway along the Samegawa so badly that even the stray cats who skulked about the riverbank refused to saunter onto the pavement. Black birds squawked complaints from their shaded havens in the trees. Yosuke joined their angry tirade from beneath the gazebo, using the collar of his shirt to fan himself as he grumbled to himself. After last winter’s unsettling chill that accompanied the dense fog for months on end, he thought he’d grow more appreciative of Inaba’s humid summers, but no. No, this freaking sucked with a capital S. Gratuitous amounts of sweat dribbled along his back, staining his favorite t-shirt with disgusting splotches. No amount of Topsicles or TaP could spare him now; this was such a bad idea. He should’ve checked the weather yesterday before agreeing to this being the meeting place. But he was here, he was stubborn, and he would not allow some 300% humidity and gajillion-degree temps dissuade him from this - from whatever this meeting would be.
Still, though. Next time, he was gonna make plans indoors. Like, even chilling at Junes seemed preferable to this.
That aside, where was the guy of the hour? Yosuke’s knee bounced as he continued to switch songs on his iPod, glancing up every three or two or one second to see if he could catch a glimpse of silver hair and questionable (yet somehow cool) fashion choices. He mistook three old people for him so far, rising to his feet before immediately sitting back down, face burning when they looked at him strangely. Yeah, sure, maybe he was coming off too strong, and like, yeah, he could probably take a chill-pill, but this was the first time they had a day to themselves. Not that he was complaining - okay, yeah, he was whining a little, but sometimes he wondered if maybe Partner had too many friends to catch up with. Wasn’t it exhausting, talking to that many people? Yosuke felt wiped from talking to customers at work, for crying out loud.
Well, whatever. Nothing good came out of griping. Positive vibes. Seize the moment, claim the day, blah blah blah. He switched to a good jam, a banger, one that made his foot tap against the gazebo’s cement foundation. The lyrics were in English, so he didn’t understand a lick of it, but it sounded cool. He closed his eyes for a second - would Souji dig this? He should send him a copy - before snapping them open when something balmy plopped against his shoulder.
“Gah!” Yosuke jerked and fell off the bench, landing hard on his ass. He winced, groaned, and then frowned before removing his headphones. Souji blinked, then ducked his head with a muffled snort behind his hand. Same old Souji, alright. Good to know his appreciation for physical comedy hadn’t changed a bit. Yosuke rolled his eyes, but his widening grin betrayed his feigned annoyance. “Dude, c’mon, you gotta give me some warning before you disrupt my zone, y’know? And how the heck did you sneak up on me like that? Don’t you normally come from the other way?”
Souji sat down and set a fishing rod and a plastic bag onto the table, which crinkled with promises of food. “Stopped at the shopping district first to get some bait and other goodies. Want some chocolate?”
“What are you, a grannie? Who says ‘goodies’ anymore?” Yosuke rifled through the bag and yanked out one of two chocolate bars. He sighed as he saw the cans of bait with flashy graphics on the tins. “Man. Your first day to actually relax, and you choose to fish. Maybe you are old.”
“It helps clear the mind and brighten the spirit,” Souji replied nonchalantly. “Besides, I still have not had the chance to land the ‘big one.’”
“Yeah, I guess solving murder-mysteries and saving the world really get in the way of very important things like that.” He tore open the foil around the chocolate and snapped off a piece with his teeth. Regular milk-flavored, his favorite. Souji never forgot the little things. Yosuke swallowed, and ignored the small lump in his throat that he half-convinced himself to be just the chocolate going down. “Should’ve brought my DS or something if I knew you were gonna fish.”
Souji’s brow furrowed. “I’m not ‘just’ going to fish. It gives us an excuse to talk, too. No one else besides you and maybe Teddie would have the patience to watch me reel in goldfish until four in the afternoon. The others would get bored rather quickly.”
“Now you’re making me sound like a weirdo.”
He hummed, and a pleasant sparkle caused his gray eyes to appear brighter. “Aren’t you?”
“Please. Out of the two of us, I’m the normal one.”
“Sure, sure. Shall we?”
The docks - if they could even be called docks - sported new cracks where little moss beds began spreading and asserting their dominance over their newfound home. Souji rolled up his khakis to his knees and sat down at the edge, whistling. Yosuke teetered on the jagged rocks as he watched fish shadows dance along the bottom of the river. The levels remained pretty high from last night’s abrupt thunderstorm - some of the tall grass drooped to the ground from the rain’s relentless pounding. He remembered coming here with his mom when they first arrived in Inaba, two or so years ago, remembered the way his battered shoes sloshed through the muddy grounds, how the rain pattered his umbrella, how the fog crept out of the trees and began its slow descent to blanket the sun.
Remembered how he chucked a heavy rock towards the middle of the Samegawa, where it sunk much like his dreams of having any fun in such a rundown, forgotten town.
Now, with his high school career rapidly arriving to its dreaded conclusion, he wanted to smack his younger self for wishing away his days, casting it out into the steady current without a second thought. Times like this, where he could just watch Souji (with careful precision) prepare his lure, were most precious and fleeting.
Damn. He hung around Naoto too much. He should leave the pondering to her.
The fishing line darted through the air like a dragonfly before plopping against the water’s surface. A gaping silence steadily grew larger between them; only the cicadas and overheated blackbirds filled the sweltering air with their cries. Maybe Souji was thinking too much, too. The first time they could hang out as buddies like they used to, and all they had were half-baked thoughts sizzling like eggs in their fried heads. Dumb. He needed to fix this somehow.
“So,” he said. Three points for eloquence, right there. Even the late-King Moron would be impressed. Applause. Thank you, thank you, he’d be here all week in the back room where he’d bang his head off the wall repeatedly. “How’s life?”
“Fine. Better, now that I’m here and there isn’t any impending disasters featuring a robot and a forced tournament like last time. The city just isn’t what it’s made out to be. It’s missing something.” The unsaid I miss you was palpable. Souji tilted his head back, matted bangs sticking to his forehead. Yosuke wondered if he put on sunscreen earlier, otherwise that pale skin would burn to a crisp. He’d have to snap a picture of that and send it to Yukiko. She’d get a kick out of that. “You?”
“Oh, you know.” He followed Souji’s lead and rolled up his own pants before sticking his toes into the water. Despite the heat, the river felt cool; he rolled pebbles beneath his heel and watched the kicked-up dirt float away. “Crap with Junes and our employees not showing up, schoolwork, worrying about the future - the usual. You really haven’t missed much since Golden Week, lemme tell you that much. Except now we’re on summer break, and there’s a festival to look forward to. Can’t believe it’s the last one I’m gonna see before I graduate.”
“Nanako is very excited to go with all of us.” Souji smiled - his eyes wrinkled a little, probably from recalling the last time they went to the small festival: food stalls, laughter. Fireworks. Shared glances. Twitching pinkies. Missed chances. Yosuke bit his bottom lip as Souji continued, “She’s already got her kimono hanging on her closet doorknob and everything.”
“Is she mad I’m stealing precious time with her big bro today?” He knocked elbows against Souji’s, who laughed. It sounded carefree. Simple, yet memorable.
“I think I lost my shining luster after one week of staying with her. She’s out with her friends right now.”
“Pssh, I doubt that. Her little legs probably just got tired from chasing after you non-stop, so she needed a break.”
His laughter grew louder as he pressed the back of his hand against his own lips, hiding the dimples behind his knuckles. “It’s more like I am the tired one - she wore both Dojima and I right out playing tag yesterday before the rain, and then demanded to tend to the little garden they still have growing there. I still can’t seem to get the dirt out of my fingernails.”
Yosuke feigned a gasp. “What? The immaculate Leader, having unclean fingernails? Someone stop the presses, we have a real news story here. ‘Tragedy in Inaba: Former Local Wonderboy Revealed A Dirt-Digging, Raw Worm-Eating Creep.’”
“Yosuke,” Souji wheezed, shoving him lightly.
“I’m kidding, dude. You’d at least cook the worms and make them edible somehow, knowing your skills.”
Souji shook his head, but his grin remained, wide yet tucked away from Yosuke’s view. It didn’t take a genius to figure out how self-conscious Souji felt whenever he smiled. It took Yosuke ages to see the first one several months into their friendship, and it took quite a bit of prodding. Now, even if a little shy, Souji seemed to be more comfortable about showing it, at least around Yosuke. He tried (and failed) to not feel proud about it.
The line bobbed for a moment, and Souji gave one quick reel before pausing. They waited, holding their collective breath, but the line remained still; its eager suitor escaped the hook’s mangling kiss, for now. Souji clicked his tongue in disappointment before pulling the line back and impaling another poor worm-looking cretin onto the lure as a replacement. Nearby, a grade-school girl, accompanied by an elderly woman, wrinkled her nose in disgust at the display before running off towards the reeds where the frog choir belted out off-key lullabies, off-tempo with the rest of the withering world. Yosuke looked away and leaned back, almost regretting splaying his palms against the scorching cement.
“I missed this,” Souji mused aloud.
“What, sweating to a miserable death while catching cat food?” He was half-tempted to take his trusted headphones off his shoulders and cannonball into the river at this point.
“That too. But,” Souji wiped one palm on his pant leg, “I also missed just messing around and talking with you.”
Yosuke’s ears strained to catch his quiet admission that was nearly drowned out by the kid’s splashing nearby. The lump in his throat returned, and a new type of sweat beaded along his forehead. He sucked in a sharp breath through his nose, eyes darting to the riverbank across from them, seeking out some distraction. The awkward pause lingered for too many seconds as he tried to formulate some kind of response.
“Uh,” he managed, and then gave a sheepish laugh. “C’mon, man. Don’t get so sappy on me now.”
“But it’s true. I miss all of you, and I could not wait until vacation came around so I could come visit. I missed this town, and especially you guys. After all,” his legs swayed back and forth in the water slowly, “we do not know how much longer we can all be here together in Inaba before…” He trailed off, hands stilling around the rod. But Yosuke already knew how that sentence ended.
Before we grow up. Before we all go separate ways. Before getting real jobs, meeting new people, getting married, having kids. Before the Investigation Team actually officially gets disbanded, for good. Before ‘real life’ becomes A Thing and we can’t do stuff like this anymore, or at least not as often. Before phone calls and IM and texts begin to slow down and there’s good intentions to stay in touch, but we all know how this really ends. Or I’m just being a pessimist.
He grinded his teeth together.
Marriage, huh.
(“Don’t worry, Yosuke!” Teddie, exuding his overbearing enthusiasm, swatted a dejected Yosuke’s shoulder one afternoon after a mild case of the sads. “You’ll find some girl who will bear with your lack of graceful charm, I’m sure! You’re no Sensei, who can score all the ladies, but I’m sure you’ll figure something out.”
“Thanks, Ted,” Yosuke ground out, ignoring the sinking feeling upon realizing, yeah, Souji Seta, Inaba’s Most Desired Bachelor, would someday maybe have a girlfriend, if not already having one in some city far, far away.)
He patted Souji’s shoulder, and, with as much false bravado and optimism he could muster, replied, “Aw, you know that’s not true, man. We’ll figure out a way to get together, no matter what. You underestimate us.”
“Yeah?” Souji’s voice betrayed him, sounding so unsure, and Yosuke cursed himself for not being more confident to at least make him feel somewhat better.
“Duh. Don’t be so glum, dude. We’re not going anywhere.” He paused. “I mean, if it means anything, at least I’m not going anywhere. I’ve always got your back. Just like how you’ve always had mine.”
Souji’s blank expression made the wait for his response all the worse. Yosuke held his breath. The grandma tutted the little girl over something seemingly trivial, and if he paid enough attention to his surroundings, he would have felt bad for her - who doesn’t want to jump on the rocks - but right now, his world consisted of only pensive eyes and tightly-drawn lips. Lips that he should not be staring at. Yosuke jerked back upon realizing how he inched his face closer during the long, nearly suffocating intermission. Who knew what would happen if he did something weird right now, screwing up the rest of the acts in the play about their friendship? Future lines would have to be rewritten, past musings would take on an entire different light--
“You’re right,” Souji finally said, maintaining a steady, almost careful, eye-contact. Yosuke exhaled hard through his nose. “I can always rely on you.”
Something remained unsaid. Yosuke could see it in the way Souji’s leg twitched, the way his free hand’s fingers rapped against the rundown dock, the way he averted his eyes. Yosuke pulled out a now lukewarm can of TaP from the bag and popped it open, the hiss just loud enough to cover up how hard his heart slammed against his aching ribcage. This was it. Like late summer, their youth slowly faded away, and what moments Yosuke had left with him before he got snatched from his grasp were vanishing. Maybe Souji was waiting for a sign. Maybe he had been waiting for a sign for a long time now, and Yosuke, caught up in all his insecurities about being on equal footing, never noticed. Never noticed quite like now, where no murders or mysteries could distract them. Or maybe that was all just self-projection and anxious wishful thinking.
But he did know that it had to be now or never.
“Hey,” Yosuke said, going with nothing but a slipshod prayer to any remaining gods who corpses didn’t rot in the fog, “Partner. There’s something I’ve been meaning to--”
The crank nearly flew off from the line’s sudden jerk, the lure vanishing beneath the eerily-still surface. Souji rose to his feet, eyes widening, before fighting back against his new assailant by cranking the rotor as fast as he could. Yosuke, frozen by the interruption, de-thawed enough to whisper, “Uh, Souji?”
“This is it.” Oh. That was the dead-serious tone, the one Souji had whenever he came face-to-face with a new, powerful Shadow or Aiya’s Beef Bowl Challenge. His nostrils flared with a renewed passionate resolve as he turned the rod towards the fish. “It’s the one I’ve been waiting for. The Guardian.”
The what-now? Yosuke’s brain scrambled for some explanation that Souji could not provide because of the supposed thrilling turn of events. He instead looked for answers in the deep, only to catch glimpse of a huge fin emerging from the surf before quickly disappearing again. He gaped. That thing had to be a behemoth. Could Souji even reel that sucker in by himself?
“Dude, wait.” Yosuke scrambled to stand, eyes darting between his partner and the hulking beast that claimed the river as its own. “Wait, wait wait, you can’t be seriously trying to land that one. It’s gonna break your line or you at this rate!”
The corner of Souji’s lip twitched as he tilted to the left, arms exerting as much strength gathered from their TV-land expeditions as possible to fight the legendary Guardian’s defiance. “I’ve trained for this day,” he replied. “I always regretted never catching him that one rainy night. I had him. I had him. And now, I will have him.”
The fish jumped, its orange-tinted scales shimmering in the now-setting sun. Yosuke nearly wheezed from the sight. Nuh-uh. No way. Souji wasn’t some weakling, but that monster had to be at least half his weight. The rod nearly escaped from Souji’s fingers from one massive pull, but his grip barely held on. Yosuke slid behind Souji before reaching around his waist, hesitating, and latching onto the rod’s base.
“Hold on!”
Souji stiffened. Yosuke felt it, and he almost let go, regretting even thinking that it was a good idea to provide assistance. But then Souji grinned and narrowed his eyes.
“We got this,” he said, using Yosuke’s signature wink, “Partner.”
The Guardian didn’t have the fish-brains Yosuke came to expect - its patterns changed in direction and intensity, nearly toppling them over once or twice. Each time they were jostled, Yosuke found himself that much closer to the back of Souji’s neck, to the fine dusting of silver hairs tapering off. The forefront of Yosuke’s mind struggled to focus as the bombardment of undesirable thoughts lashed at him like a Shadow’s virulent fury. There were no means to deny it anymore, not really; the way he sulked for months after Souji left Inaba in March, how he perked up like a dying plant being water upon learning of his visits, and how he acted like a spurned girlfriend whenever Souji’s attention kept being stolen away. It all pointed in one direction, and he loathed it.
But if he learned anything from last year, from Saki’s murder and her feelings to Adachi’s asinine reasoning for killing people, it’s that he had to be true to himself, no matter what. And in being true to himself, he couldn’t keep hiding this from Souji. That said, it seemed so easy and fine and dandy, but how was he supposed to bring it up? And what justification did he have in saying something like that as their last summer whittled away before college? He couldn’t just force Souji into that position. What kind of partner trapped their best friend into something like a--like a rela--
His jaw clenched. The Guardian struggled, waning in the face of their combined strength. Souji leaned back, shoulder blades pressing against Yosuke’s chest.
Goddammit, he thought, fingers tightening around the rod, “why’d I have to be a moron and get a crush on you?”
Souji became ramrod, shoulders jolting upward. Yosuke blinked, then grew pale as Souji’s head turned in increments, like a machine, with a gaping mouth and an uncomprehending stare. Oh no. Oh, no no no no no no no no--
“Wh - Yos - what did you ju--”
The searing heat prickling along Yosuke’s embarrassed flesh immediately cooled off as the Guardian took advantage of the situation and pulled its adversaries head-first into the water, line snapping in two. He sputtered upon resurfacing, hair and clothes drenched. Well, it’s a good thing he took off his headphones, but his cellphone sticking uncomfortably to his thigh didn’t avoid its untimely death. His dad was gonna be so pissed. However, when Souji emerged in a coughing fit, all thoughts on the impending scolding of a lifetime gave way to a mantra of shit shit shit shit shit. Souji stared at the bent rod in his hand, and Yosuke swallowed hard.
“Uh,” he started, willing his voice to not crack, “sorry, par - er. Souji.”
“Did you mean it?”
“Wha?”
The little girl and her grandma were probably staring at them right now. It felt like the whole town looked down on them, awaiting Yosuke’s explanation. Oh, god, Souji hated him. He screwed up, and Souji hated him, and the stupid fish got away, and everything was ruined forever and no amount of distance between them would heal the gaping wound he stupidly inflicted upon their friendship with his dumb motormouth, why did he have to have feelings, what sort of terrible universe allowed humans to have feelings in the first place--
“Do you like me?”
Except, oddly enough, Souji didn’t sound angry or disgusted. Just patient, and - and something else, but Yosuke wasn’t one for getting his hopes up, since it wouldn’t be the first time he’d read the mood wrong. So he cleared his throat and aimed for a laugh.
“Uh, yeah. You’re my best friend, duh--”
“No, I meant, do you like me like me?”
A beat passed. Yosuke scratched at his own neck.
“What are you, a middleschooler?”
Souji frowned. Yosuke sputtered.
“Okay, okay, jeez, stop giving me that look, I’m sorry, okay? I just - I mean - it’s just - it’s dumb. I’m dumb. It’ll go away, I promise. Maybe. I’ll get over it. I’m so sorry.”
“Yosuke.”
He knew Souji wanted to say something, but the metaphorical pen was in his hand, and now Yosuke bled out his words like a sloppily-written love note stuffed into someone’s shoe locker. “It’s like, you know, you’re the nicest person around, and like, I was so happy when you said we were equals, you know, after our fight? And it just kinda, like, blew up in my face, and I was scared shitless, you know? And like, I know it’s super gay of me, and I’m sounding really gay, and fuck, maybe I am a little gay for you, and I have no idea what to do because there’s so many ‘what-ifs’ in my head, and like, I mean, I even made fun of Kanji about this, I’m such a hypocrite, can you believe it? Well, no shocker there, I guess, but still--”
“Yosuke.”
“Like, what’ll our friends think, what’ll our parents think, Dojima would kill me, and it’s not like any of that matters because you’re probably off to Tokyo to study god knows what and I don’t know what I’m doing and long-distance sucks because this already sucks whenever you go away and like I’m thinking all this crap even though we’re not even a thing and you probably are sick of me rambling but I just can’t stop because I don’t want to hear you say how gross I am or whatever even though I know you wouldn’t deep-down but I’m just still terrified of rejection as an entire person like an idiot and now we’re here and--”
“Yosuke, breathe.”
“And,” Yosuke did as he was told, but his eyes began blinking rapidly to combat the sudden moisture welling up in them, “and, dammit, I just wish I said something sooner.”
At least if he said something sooner, if Souji came to hate him last summer, the band-aid wouldn’t hurt as much to tear off. But it’s sticking tightly to Yosuke’s skin, ready to peel off his flesh when Souji inevitably replied, Sorry, I’m not interested, ready to let his wound fester in the baking sun, scarring him for the rest of his life. He’d get over it, eventually, much like how he did with Saki’s words in the TV’s replica of the sake store, but it would take forever and half longer.
“Hey.”
Souji grabbed onto Yosuke’s submerged arm and pulled, yanking him up to stand, before doing the unthinkable and pulling him into a hug. Normally, Yosuke would gasp and push him away, because dude, there’s other people around, but all that came out was an undignified squeak akin to Chie’s whenever a bug came within her general proximity. Souji was hugging him. Souji was hugging him. Souji was hugging him.
“The festival next week,” he said, keeping his voice low. “That spot on the hill, not many people know about it, right?”
“Uh.” Yosuke’s brain slogged through possible responses before spitting out, “Yeah.”
“After we enjoy the festival with the others and Nanako’s tuckered out…” Souji pulled back, eyebrows knitting together as he gave a fragile, tentative smile. “...would you mind coming with me there to watch the fireworks together? Just… the two of us?”
Wait. “Wha?” Souji wasn’t mad. “Wait.” Souji was the opposite of mad. “Huh?” Souji was, dare he think it, asking Yosuke out on a date. “Are - are you serious?”
“Aren’t you?”
“Yes - I mean, yeah, but--”
“Then it’s settled. You liked the sweet pork skewers, right? I’ll make sure to pack them for our little… excursion.”
“How do you remember every--wait, that’s not the point. Partner, you - you’re not messing with me right now, are you?”
Souji appeared hurt. “Why would I do that?”
“I--I don’t know. I just. Is this actually happening?” He wanted to burst out laughing. He wanted to run away and take a few moments to process what Souji just said. “You--do you like me like me, too?”
A snort accompanied his gentle laugh as he shook his head. “I am just surprised you did not figure it out sooner. I’ve liked you for awhile.”
“Wait, really?”
“Really really.” Souji’s stance softened. “You’re special to me, you know?”
Oh. If Yosuke hadn’t been red already, he would’ve definitely turned into a tomato right then and there. How did Souji do this so effortlessly? Then again, as Yosuke mustered the courage to look up again, he spotted little pink splotches adorning Souji’s ears.“So, wait. Then what are we now? Like, boy… boyfriends?”
“Considering how we just confessed, I would think we’re what we’ve always been. Partners. But with added benefits of handholding.”
His skin flushed even more, but he wasn’t alone; the pink infection spread to Souji’s cheeks and nose. “Oh. Okay. Yeah, that - that sounds good.” It sounded better than good, but baby steps. No need to come off like a creeper.
“Yeah.” Souji swallowed and rubbed the back of his neck before glancing at his bent rod. “Although next time, let’s save the big moments after we land the big one, okay?”
Yosuke winced. “Oh. Uh. Sorry.”
“No, no, don’t apologize. It’s fine.” He laughed, arm draping around Yosuke’s shoulder for support as they slowly waded back to the docks. “ There’s always next time, after all.”
Next time. There was going to be a next time. Yosuke felt like a fool. Of course there was going to be a next time. Just because they were closing one chapter of their book didn’t mean the whole book needed to be slammed shut. He shook his head. Man, he could get so wrapped up in his own thoughts. Sure, this might be ending, like summer, but there was still fall and winter and spring to look forward to.
And now, he wouldn’t have to look forward to it alone.
His arm slid up along Souji’s back and rested upon his shoulders, a grin spreading from ear-to-ear reaching his eyes.
“You’re right. We’ll get him. Next time.”
And if not then? The time after that.
“Then again,” Souji continued, unable to suppress the bubbling laughter in his chest, “based on past experience?”
Oh no. “Souji.”
“It may just turn out to be…”
Oh god. Yosuke rolled his eyes. “Partner, no.”
“...a reel pain in the bass to land him.”
“That’s it. We’re done. I never said anything about liking you. You’re such a dweeb.”
“What can I say?” That laugh grew into full-blown wheezes. “I’m a sucker for puns.”
Yosuke bit his bottom lip, but ended up laughing with him anyway. For the rest of the afternoon, as they shared snacks and skipped rocks and linked their pinkies together, the pun-train never stopped.
And even then, Yosuke never felt more certain of loving someone in his entire life.