Chapter Text
Chapter One
“I can't do it El,you know I can’t”
“I don't know anything Louis,how would I when you never bloody speak to me?”
I shoved back the kitchen chair roughly,relishing the look on Eleanor's face as the legs scraped against the wooden floor.I couldn't have this conversation again,not when I was already running late for work.Turning my back on my girlfriend and dumping my cereal bowl in the sink,I set about the process of gathering the papers strewn across the kitchen table and stuffing them in my briefcase.Soft sobs filtered through the heavy silence in the room and I knew if I turned around I would be met with Eleanor's tearful eyes and trembling lips.I couldn't do it.Not again.
For the past six months we had been having arguments constantly,almost daily and it all broiled down to the one problem-why didn't I want to spend time with my girlfriend?Eleanor just couldn't understand why I would rather spend my time with Liam.I knew how much it hurt her,of course I did,how could I not when I had to cradle her while she cried herself to sleep most nights.And yet,I couldn't tell her the real reason.Often,I would dream about how I would tell her-
“I'm gay”I would say “I always have been and I always will be.”
But,no matter how many times I said it in my dreams I knew I could never say those words in real life.Just imagining Eleanor's heartbreak and my father’s utter disgust and disapproval sent a shudder up my spine.No.Those words were for me-to be whispered when I felt like the whole world was up against me and I just needed something,anything to comfort me.
Eleanor was desperate to fix what she saw as a temporary speed bump in an otherwise happy relationship.She thought we just needed time to be alone,reignite the spark or some shit like that.Everyday she would try and convince me to go on some mini break with her.This morning,she had found a great deal on a little cottage in Dover-sun,sea and relaxation.It sounded,to my ears,like torture.Alone meant only one thing to me.Sex.I would have to shag her.If we went on this trip I knew there would be no other way around it and so,I found every excuse to get out of it.
“Look Eleanor,I'm sorry.I know I maybe haven't been as….present lately.I’ve just been busy,you know?”
I muttered,turning around and finally facing my girlfriend,wincing when I noticed the expression of pure anger on her face.
“Fuck off Louis!You’re a middle rank exec at your father’s company,don't give me this busy shit.”
Eleanor was standing now,moving closer with every word.Her beautiful face contorted with jealousy and anger.It was a low blow and she knew it.I had always hated working for my father.Growing up,I had tried to work hard at school in an effort to escape the job that had been waiting for me since I was 16 at my father’s PR company.So to end up,at 20,right where I had always sworn I would never be-it was a kick in the teeth.It was my biggest insecurity and she had capitalised on that.I felt annoyance start to bubble to the surface but quickly pushed it back down,she had a reason to be angry,it was me at fault here.I was the bad boyfriend neglecting his girlfriend in favour of clubbing with his best mates.
“Have you been having an affair,is that it? Who is she?Some pretty receptionist with not much brains upstairs,eh?”
Her voice was ice,any trace of the love she claimed to hold for me gone.
“Of course not!”
I rushed,almost laughing at the ridiculousness of the comment.I could hardly handle one woman,let alone two.
“Then what is it?”
The colour drained in my face.There it was-a blunt question.There was no manoeuvring my way around this one.I opened my mouth slowly,formulating my thoughts.Eleanor stood,with her hands on her hips and her face flushed,wearing a look of impatient expectancy mingled with fear.I couldn't do it.I couldn't say those three little words that would change my entire identity forever.And yet,what else was there to say? What other answer could I give that wouldn't result in her packing up her things and leaving me alone in our home.
“Daddy,why you make mummy sad?”
Freddie,my son,rushed into the room,immediately saving me from a dire fate.Relief coursing through my veins,I scooped Freddie up into my arms and planted a huge kiss on his forehead.
“Mummy’s not sad anymore see?”
I twirled Freddie around in the direction of his mother,Eleanor already plastering on a huge grin.To anyone other than a child,the sadness in her eyes was unmistakable,but to Freddie it was enough.I caught Eleanor's eye as I swung our little boy into the air,my heart plummeting as I saw the desperation swirling within them.Before I could let the guilt settle,I put Freddie down and finished packing my briefcase.
Freddie was an accident.An adorable,amazing accident that was now the love of my life,but an accident all the same.El and I had been going out for a couple of months at the time.She was the daughter of a big actor being represented by my father.It was obvious she was nursing a huge crush on me and it just seemed convenient to fall into a relationship with her.My father was adamant that nobody found out his son had less than (in his eyes) wholesome desires and pushed me to commit to Eleanor.In the early days of our relationship,we did have sex.I was struggling with who I was still and managed to convince myself that sex would sort everything out.Of course,it didn't.It absolutely broke me.Imagine doing something that is regarded as one of the best feelings you could ever experience and feeling repulsed,barely able to get your dick hard.It’s horrible.I was close to breaking up with Eleanor,having finally plucked up the courage to tell my father I'm gay and proud, when she showed up on my doorstep with the pregnancy test,essentially shoving me into the closet forever.
Grabbing my briefcase and my car keys,I knelt down in front of Freddie and opened my arms wide.
“Daddy's gotta go to work now Freddie,can I get a hug?”
Freddie ran into my arms,abandoning the lego castle he was building on the rug.Closing my eyes and squeezing my son tight,I breathed in his baby scent,tears beginning to form at the corners of my eyes.
“I love you so much”
I whispered.
“I love you too daddy”
Reluctantly untangling my arms from around my baby,I stood up,brushing the fluff from my suit pants.Eleanor was leaning against the door jamb,watching the embrace with an expression close to clinical.I knew she was jealous of the relationship I had with Freddie.Despite being at home all day,I knew Eleanor struggled to connect with our son.Maybe it was the fact that she spent most of the day getting coffee with her friends,leaving Freddie at the nursery or with the nanny.
“Bye El.”
I mumbled,finally opening the front door and making my way down our rambling driveway to my BMW.The cold,frigid air inside the car was a welcome escape from the tension inside the house and I let myself soak in the silence for a moment before turning on the engine of my car and starting my commute to work- a.k.a hell.
***
Stepping off the elevator on the seventh floor of Tomlinson Corp I knew something was off straight away.Multiple pairs of eyes pierced the back of my head as I made my way through the busy office space,singling out my best mate Liam's desk.Liam,as usual,was folded over a thick stack of contracts,a pen in one hand and his classic black coffee in the other.
“Liam!Why the fuck is everybody acting so odd?”
I hissed,plopping down in the chair across from his desk and in the process,startling Liam.We had known each other for so long that we were beyond greetings at this stage.
Liam and I had grown up together.Hell,we’d practically lived in the same house with the amount of time Liam spent in my home as a kid.Liam’s parents were old money,rich stuffy aristocrats living in a huge house that barely saw a duster.We connected over our shared disdain of our parent’s lifestyles and a mutual need for normality.Maybe it's a little cliche-little rich kids struggling with the thought that money was no object,but,we did struggle-we still do.Liam’s parents were desperate for their son to study medicine so they could boast about it with their dignified friends at dinner parties and art gallery openings but that was never Liam.For as long as I'd known Liam he had dreamed of being a producer.Working in a PR company synonymous for its musically gifted clients was just a stopgap.
“Shit,I meant to text you about that.Your Dad’s on the warpath.He’s been by my desk three times in the last hour looking for you.Last I seen him,he was storming into your office.”
“Fuck,fuck,fuck,fuck,fuck”
Turning around in my chair,I followed Liam's line of vision to the door of my private office.My father only visited my office if there was a problem.Time was too precious to waste on something as trivial as affection,according to him.So that could only mean one thing-he heard about my problems with Eleanor.Groaning loudly,I began to rub my temples trying to rid myself of the dull ache that had been building up all morning.
“Hey.”Liam reached out a hand and patted my shoulder,his face the picture of concern “What’s going on?Is it Eleanor?Freddie?”
Liam didn't know the full story.Of course he didn't-I couldn't risk telling him,I couldn't bear the look of disgust that would surely appear on his face.I didn't need anybody else to tell me how disgusting I am,I already knew myself.As far as Liam was aware,I went through a short period of “self-discovery” in my teen years but once I met Eleanor,that was that.He knew I was having problems with El.Unfortunately,there was no hiding that,especially as I often found myself drunk at three o'clock in the morning and desperate for someone to vent to.
“It's nothing,Liam,honestly.I had a fight with Eleanor again but it's no big deal.”
I tried to play it off,shrugging my shoulders and getting up from the chair.It was about time I faced my father.
“Tommo you can't continue on like this.Break up with the girl-for both of your sakes.”
“I can't Liam,Freddie needs both parents.”
Liam shook his head in earnest,his stack of contracts long since forgotten.I knew Liam didn't like Eleanor.From the first time he'd met her,Liam told me I could do better.It annoyed him that she spent all day shopping and spending my money,barely sparing a thought for our child.From the outside,I knew it looked like she was the selfish one.But,if Liam knew the full story,he wouldn't be so quick to write her off.
“Bullshit Louis.Eleanor never spends time with the kid anyway so it's not like he'd miss her.”
“If she tries for custody though…..we’re not married….I could lose Freddie.”
Liam snorted softly “She won't try for custody Louis.She knows she'd never be able to handle him on her own.”
I brushed off the comment.Even if I wanted to leave Eleanor I knew that wasn't an option.
“Listen Liam,I'd better go and deal with my father,k?”
Waggling my fingers at him,I began to turn away from the desk.I knew I was being abrupt but I couldn't deal with getting my hopes up.Liam thought everything was easy-that all my problems could be easily fixed.When in reality,that was far from the truth.
“Tommo,text me later,right?”
Liam shouted after me.
Giving him a thumbs up in assent,I slowly began to open my office door,my insides shriveling as I noticed the outline of my father's bulky frame.
“Took you long enough,didn't it?”
My father snapped,standing as I came into view.
Sighing,I plopped down in the chair behind my desk,turning my head away from my father's smug face and towards the wall-to-wall views of London behind me.The perk of being the boss’ son was the swanky,entirely undeserved office that came with it.Everything was white,sleek and modern from the matte white desk to the expensive white rug.The office screamed money and privilege-summed me up really didn't it,ha.The only thing in the office that was really mine was the photograph of my mother and I,sitting on my desk.Taken on a weekend trip to Nice,it reminded me of happier times,when my mother was still alive and before my father turned into a callous bastard.Even now looking at my mother’s carefree smile as she laughed at my ice cream covered face brought a grin to my face.I was lucky in that respect.At least I experienced love from one parent, no matter how short lived it was
“Why are you here Dad?”
I said,my voice monotonous and bored.That man did not deserve anything from me.
“Eleanor’s father called me.Got into another little row did you?”
My father’s voice dripped with sarcasm and insecurity.Turning back towards my father with the intent of making some obscene gesture,I just caught him staring at the picture on my desk before he focused his eyes elsewhere,raising an eyebrow at him when he noticed his mistake.So he was capable of feeling real,human emotions.Shocking.
A smirk in my voice,I leaned back in my chair and propped my feet up on the desk,enjoying the wince that flickered across my father's face.
“You don't know shit about my relationship with Eleanor,so don't pretend like you do.”
“I know that she's not happy,” my father breezed, “And I know that she rang her father over half an hour ago in tears because you won't treat her right.”
I shifted in my seat as my father turned the full power of his penetrating gaze on me.
“Why is that,may I ask?Why can't you make a woman happy?”
My father’s voice dripped with malice and I longed to get up and punch him,revel in the feeling of his skin breaking under my fist.
“Get out.”
I ordered,my voice hard.I knew what he was insinuating and I had never hated him more.
“You're a coward,son.A bloody coward.And if you don't fix this thing with Eleanor…..well,you'll never see your son,my heir to the company, ever again and you'll certainly never see your inheritance either.” My father delivered his final blow with a snarl.He knew his shot had hit home.
My inheritance was my only way out.My one chance to take Freddie and move somewhere where nobody knew my name.My father knew I was counting down the days until he kicked the bucket.If that was taken away…… every shrivel of hope I had in my body would be gone.No.He couldn't take my inheritance.
“I'll say it once more,father.Get out before I make a scene.I know how much you love those.”
I got up out of my chair and flung the door open,ignoring the inquisitive glances I received from the people outside.
My father,happy at having affected me,shrugged and moved languidly towards the door.He had the audacity to shoot me a curling smirk of victory before he was gone,closing the door softly behind him.
Sinking to the ground with a shaky breath,I put my head in my hands and let myself break.
***
Twenty minutes later, I was still curled up on the ground,the sleeve of my shirt held up to my mouth to muffle my sobs when my phone buzzed in my pocket.Pulling it out,my heart sank when I saw Eleanor's name on the display screen.
I knew what she wanted,of course.It was the same after every fight.She would run off somewhere,leaving me to take care of our child.Sure enough,when I opened the text,my suspicions were confirmed:
Going away for a few days with my sister.Nanny sick.Pick up Freddie from nursery at 1-El
Sighing,I rubbed my eyes fiercely not caring that they were probably red and got up,brushing the creases out of my designer suit.I had to pull myself together.I was an adult.A grown man with responsibilities.I couldn't just drop everything because I was being trapped into a life I didn't want.
I kept telling myself this as I grabbed my keys from the desk and shot back a curt reply to Eleanor.Freddie was my main priority and he always would be,no matter what shit was going on in my life.My father would be mad if I left work before lunch,especially as I had a meeting with Zayn Malik,one of our most promising artists.But then,I didn't give a shit what my father thought.I was not going to leave my little boy in the nursery.I knew what it felt like to be the last kid picked up,trying to brush off the pitying looks from the teacher whilst trying to convince yourself that your father did actually care.That was not the type of father I wanted to be.
Strolling out into the main office space,I made a detour to my assistant,Rebecca's desk,trying to ignore the looks my red,puffy eyes were attracting.
“Rebecca,can you reschedule my appointment with Mr Malik until tomorrow?Tell him it happened again.He’ll understand what that means.”
My voice cracked as I spoke and I winced,hoping my assistant hadn't noticed.I felt guilty cancelling on Zayn,especially as he was in the middle of a hectic album promo season and needed to figure out what interviews he was lined up for but I knew he would understand.I had met Zayn,on my very first day in school and we had immediately hit it off.With his mysterious charm and wicked sense of humour he was the perfect balance to my antics and Liam's sensibilities.It was the perfect stroke of luck when I,newly ensconced in my role in the Pr company,managed to convince my father to take Zayn,who was just starting to get recognition for his music, on at the firm.He knew,much like Liam,that I was having problems with Eleanor having been privy to many a meltdown over beers and ice cream.However,unlike Liam,I knew he had an inkling of the real reason me and Eleanor could never work.
I remember a night out last year when I had gone outside for air and Zayn had joined me.Eleanor and I had been embroiled in a particularly vicious fight over whether Freddie should be allowed to sleep in our bed or not at the time (I was all for it,especially as it gave me an excuse to not have sex with her.) and Zayn,puffing on his cigarette,had just come straight out and asked me “Eleanor's not your type,right mate.” I had denied it of course,mumbling some shit about not having a type but Zayn saw through me.He never brought it up again but sometimes I would catch him looking between Eleanor and I with a furrow in his brow,almost as if he couldn't work out what I was playing at.Join the club mate.
“Of course…..are you alright Mr Tomlinson?”
Rebecca was gazing at me sympathetically,chewing on her bottom lip as she took in my appearance.
Despite being relatively new at the company,Rebecca was one of the people I liked most at the office,after Liam.From the very first day,we had developed a really great working relationship,with her often helping me on projects.I knew she had guessed my home life was strained,how could she not when she had to constantly field calls from Eleanor.And yet,there was still a part of me that was wary of her.She had a crush on me,Liam would insist almost daily,something which made me read into each one of her casual winks and arm squeezes.
“I'm fine Rebecca,really.”
I muttered briefly,offering her a parting smile before moving over to the elevators,taking care to slip past Liam quickly while he had his head buried in a pile of papers.
Only when I was alone in my car,did the sadness start to wash over me again.Turning the key in the ignition and popping Zayn’s new CD into the CD player,I tried to focus on the music flowing through the speakers instead of my building anxiety.I didn't want Freddie to see me upset,especially as I would already have to explain why mummy had gone to her sister’s again.
Driving the short commute it took to Freddie’s nursery,my thoughts swirled back to my father and his threat.No inheritance.It had to be an empty threat,it had to be.If he didn't give his inheritance to me who else would he give it to? My mother was dead,all of his “friends” were only people he thought were beneficial to have around and I was his only child,much to his consternation.He had no one,not even me when it came down to it.It was sad really,this bitter old man who alienated everybody.He had power and money sure but happiness was a foreign concept to him.I decided to abandon any worries about my father's threat,hoping it would never come to fruition.
As soon as I pulled up outside of the nursery,a colourful little building that was situated right next to the primary school,my ears twitched at the sound of a loud bass from inside.Getting out of the car,my curiosity peaked and my worries momentarily forgotten, I rang the little bell next to the lilac door and waited.Admittedly I had never been to Freddie's nursery.Apart from insisting that he went to a normal nursery,not one of those posh private places that tried to foster young geniuses,I hadn't cared what nursery Fred went to.So I had ended up picking the first one I came across in a brochure.In hindsight,probably not the best parenting.
I was peering at the childlike drawings in the windows of the building when the door was flung open revealing a beaming man with a shock of dyed blond hair and a guitar slung across his body.
“Hello mate!”
He bellowed in a thick Irish accent,clapping me on the back as if we were old friends,much to my bewilderment. “You here for the pick up?Bit eager ain't yah?End of day isn't for another hour yet.”
“What?Oh I thought…..fucking Eleanor.” I shuffled my feet on the doorstep,cursing Eleanor and her complete lack of knowledge regarding our son.
“Who's Eleanor?Anyway you may as well come in.Harry’s doing yoga with the kids.I was practising me guitar but I was due a break anyway.Gotta do some work,right?”
The man ushered me into the building,his voice carrying as we walked down the brightly lit corridor.I had never met someone who was so enthusiastic and happy in my entire life.It made me feel like a right old miserable git.
“Are you the owner then?”
I asked,eyeing the art plastered along the wall.All this talk of yoga and guitar was disorienting.I couldn't take anything in.And,who was Harry?I couldn't remember Freddie ever mentioning a man before.I had always assumed his nursery teacher was a woman from the way he talked about picking flowers and playing picnics with teacher.
“Me?No,that's Harry.I’m just his assistant I guess you could say, though I don't do much assisting.” The man chuckled as he said this and then slapped a hand to his forehead. “I forgot to say my name,I'm Niall.”
“Louis Tomlinson.” I said in response taking his proffered hand with a grin.I had taken an instant liking to him,it was almost impossible not to.
“Louis Tomlinson?Ah you're Freddie's Da.Yeah,great kid Freddie.Between you and me,Harry has a bit of a soft spot for him.”
Niall said,oblivious to the fact that I still had no idea who Harry was.
Just as I about to ask,Niall stopped at a door and flung it open,revealing complete and utter chaos.The room was huge, and filled with about twenty children all stretched out on brightly coloured exercise mats in various yoga poses while Fleetwood Mac played loudly through a pair of speakers in the corner of the room.But this was not the oddest sight,for in the middle of the room stretched out on his own exercise mat was the most beautiful man I had ever seen.He was expertly executing the downward dog pose,his ass high in the air and his chocolate brown curls falling across his face,his cherry red lips puckered in concentration when I entered the room.My heart stuttered as I took in his long legs cased in purple Lycra leggings and his toned biceps littered with tattoos.I had never seen someone more perfect in my entire life.
“Daddy?”
I was forced to tear my eyes away from the beautiful man at the sound of my son’s voice across the room.My eyes crinkling in fondness I took in the joy spread across his face.I did that.I thought proudly.
“Fred,baby,I missed you.”
I exclaimed, waiting as he abandoned his exercise mat and flung himself into my arms.From the corner of my eye I could see the beautiful man look up at the commotion but I refused to look over.Hell,I’d probably faint when I caught my first unobstructed glimpse of his face.
“Silly Daddy,it's not home time yet.”
Freddie scolded,his eyes wandering back over to his mat and his teacher.Despite loving me,I could tell he didn't want to go yet.Clearly he loved this place.
“Freddie boy,you don't have to go yet.I’m gonna occupy yer Da for a bit so you can finish up, ‘Kay?”
Niall chipped in,laughing as Freddie simply beamed before hurrying back off to his exercise mat.
“God,he couldn't wait to get rid of me.”
I joked,rolling my eyes to Niall.
“Harry has that effect on people.Everybody loves him,it's hard not to.”
Just as I was about to muster a response,a deep honey voice sounded behind me,turning my knees to jelly.Oh God.Even his voice was perfect.
“What are you saying about me to Mr Tomlinson,Ni?”
Turning around,my breath caught as I took in my first glimpse of the beautiful man-Harry's face.His eyes were the most beautiful shade of green and they glistened with sincerity and mirth.And of course,his jawline looked like it had been sculpted out of marble.Coupling that with his rose bud lips and his beautiful mop of hair which was sculpted into a soft swoop,he looked like an absolute God.I watched,half delirious,as Harry's green eyes widened almost imperceptibly as he stared at me.I probably looked a mess-standing there with my puffy eyes,messy hair and dishevelled suit.If only I'd cleaned myself up a bit.
“Nuthin bad mate.Just telling Louis here how much everybody loves you.”
Niall said,his body already starting to move towards a door at the back of the room which I presumed to be the kitchen.
“Not true.Kids love me,adults….not so much.”
Harry's eyes slid to mine as he spoke,a self deprecating smile forming on his lips,allowing two huge dimples to appear on either side of his face.
Dimples!He had dimples.Groaning internally,I cursed my life.
“Well my Fred loves you.Constantly talking about all of the games you play with him.Though,I must admit,I actually thought you would be a woman.”
The last part slipped out,surprising myself and by the looks of his flushed cheeks,Harry.
“Oi!I’ll have you know I'm extremely manly,just look at these purple leggings.”
Harry squealed in mock indignation,waving a hand at his Lycra leggings with a chuckle.
Letting out a breezy laugh,I let my eyes wander over to the children who were all standing on their exercise mats,watching the exchange as they waited for their teacher.
“What's with the yoga anyway?”
I asked,already gathering in my head that Harry was like no other person I'd ever met in my life.
“It's good for the body and brain.Im trying to teach them all to be zen little humans.”
Harry responded,his eyes taking on a dreamy glaze,no doubt imagining his utopia of happy,yoga doing hippies.
“Hah!Yeah,you should see Freddie just before he goes to bed at night.Like a proper little Buddha,jumping off the walls and screaming blue murder if anyone comes near him with pyjamas.”
I deadpanned sarcastically,beaming up at Harry who was several inches taller.
“Freddie's a wild,creative soul.No one can hamper his happiness.Don't tell anyone but,Freddie's my favourite person.He reminds me a little of myself when I was younger.So creative and happy.”
I followed Harry's gaze over to my child,both of us watching on as he happily tried to recount a story to a little girl whose face was scrunched up in confusion,clearly not understanding a word he was saying.
Smiling,I declared softly, “He's my favourite person too.”
After that,we stood basking in the silence for a couple of moments,my eyes glued to the twinkle in Harry's eyes and the slight colour that danced across his cheeks.The silence was swiftly broken however by the reemergence of Niall,who,sticking his head around the door of the kitchen,bellowed:
“I've made tea mate,come on.”
“You'd better go,Mr Tomlinson.I have to finish yoga with the children or they'll skin me alive.”
Harry said,and was I imagining it or was there a touch of disappointment in his voice?No,there couldn't be.Why would someone like that ever enjoy having a conversation with someone like me.
“It's Louis.”
I said,lingering in front of Harry.
“What?”
“You can just call me Louis.”
I watched as a slow smile spread across Harry's face before he nodded and turned away,already starting to mumble zen like platitudes to the children.
Finally turning away myself,I entered the tiny little kitchen and sat down at the table in front of my cup of tea.
“I wasn't sure how you liked it,one sugar okay?”
Niall asked and I nodded in response,not having the heart to tell him that I had a bit of a sweet tooth and normally indulged in three sugars.
“How long have you been working here anyway mate?”
I wondered,thinking back to the fond smiles Harry and Niall had given each other.They seemed close,definitely more than co-workers.Friends?Boyfriends?Something that felt suspiciously like jealousy twisted in my stomach at the thought of Harry having a partner.I was behaving like a mad man.I’d only met the guy five minutes ago and already I was contemplating what it would feel like to have his lips on mine.Hell,I had a girlfriend.And I was meant to be playing the role of the straightest man in Britain.
“Me?I’ve only been here a couple months.My last job fell through and Harry was kind enough to offer me this job.”
“So you've been friends for a while then?”
“Oh yeah,donkey’s years.We met when I moved here from Ireland when I was just a tiny squirt.You should have seen Harry then-all awkward limbs and frizzy hair.I stood up for him when he was getting mocked one day for wearing nail polish and ever since,we've been best mates.”
Niall told the story with a practised ease,almost as if he was used to telling it.I,on the other hand was utterly endeared at the thought of a baby Harry stumbling around like Bambi.
“What about you then?You must work,right?You’ve never picked little Freddie up before,always a woman who comes.Your girlfriend I'm presuming?”
“The nanny.”I hurried to correct, “Yeah,normally I'm busy during the day.I work for my father's company,Tomlinson Corp?It’s not far from here actually.”
“I know that place.PR company right?I think Harry might’ve mentioned it before.He’s obsessed with music,knows practically everything there is to know about the business.”
“Can he sing?” I asked,surprised.
“Can he sing! Hah!He can do bloody more than that.He’s feckin brilliant.I keep telling him to do one of those open mic things but he refuses.Says he doesn't want to be a singer,loves his job too much.”
Niall said all this as if it was something that constantly baffled him.I could kind of get it.There was no denying that Harry had star power.He had a magnetism that drew you in and kept you there.He would be amazing on stage,I just knew it.But,knowing the business like I did,especially the PR side of things,it was nasty.Harry with his kind heart and open flamboyance would probably get eaten alive.
I'd seen it happen to Zayn.For as long as I could remember,Zayn had liked boys.He’d liked girls too but,it always seemed to be a guy who would end up in his bed at the end of a night out.Liam didn't know,Zayn only too aware of Liam's naive uncomfortableness around homosexuals.Everything was fine at first,when Zayn was just doing little gigs he had freedom to do what he wanted.However,after one of his singles hit number one and teenage girls started paying attention,things changed.All of a sudden I was getting orders from my father to arrange pap walks with girls for Zayn and fake girlfriends.I hated it.Especially as I myself was suffering from closeting at the hands of my father.
“It's a nasty business.Not the glitz and glamour you see on TV.”
I mused to Niall,knocking back the last few dregs of my tea.
“I don't know mate.Money,fame and all the girls you could ever want.Sounds pretty good to me.”
Niall said cheerily,his naivety shocking.
“Trust me,it's not like that.”
I said firmly.
“Guess I'll just have to trust you then.”
Niall said,offering me a toothy grin,which I returned immediately.
We spent the next hour talking about everything from last night’s footie game to what was the best way to eat an Oreo (Niall insisted it was dunking the whole thing in a mug of tea and then eating it like that but I was equally as stubborn that you had to twist the top off the Oreo and eat the cream first.)
I had completely lost track of time and probably would have stayed there for another hour chatting complete shit with Niall if it hadn't been for Harry coming into the kitchen.
He had changed out of his yoga clothes and was now wearing a pair of tight black jeans,boots and a billowing red silk shirt,unbuttoned slightly so I could see the swallows he had tattooed on his chest.He looked even more gorgeous than before,if that was possible.Watching him,I felt something wedge in my throat.What was wrong with me?I had never had this reaction over a guy before.Normally I was pretty good at suppressing my desire.
“Hazza!” Niall grinned,motioning Harry in, “I think you might have to be demoted.Louis’ my new best friend!”
I caught Harry's eye and smiled at him,astonished as I watched a slow flush crawl up his neck.He was probably just uncomfortable with strangers.
“Good,well maybe then next time you're hungry you can go around to Louis’ house and steal his food.”
Harry bit back, “Anyway,Niall I need your help putting the kids coats on and stuff.Unfortunately you are gonna have to do some work today.”
Niall got up from the table and I copied his movements,placing my empty mug in the sink and brushing any biscuit crumbs from my suit.
“I should probably get going anyway.Is Freddie ready?”
I asked Harry,walking out into the main nursery area after he nodded.
All of the children were lined up by the door,coats and lunch boxes in hand and I made a beeline to Freddie when I spotted his thatch of brown hair from the front of the line.Everybody said he was my mini me with his crystal blue eyes and brown soft hair which he insisted on styling to the side “just like Daddy.” I could see Harry now looking between us,calculating our similarities.
“He looks just like you.” Harry whispered as we stood off to the side of the queue watching Niall try to wrangle twenty kids into their coats with great difficulty.
“I know.Eleanor’s been bitter about it for years.”
I muttered,visibly wincing when I realised I'd said her name out loud.
“Eleanor?”
Harry asked hesitantly,his face falling.
“My girlfriend.”
I clarified.As soon as the word was out of my mouth,it was like Harry built a wall around himself.His eyes turned to stone and his mouth pulled downwards.I thought I heard him mumble “of course” under his breath but I couldn't be sure.
“I didn't uh….know Freddie's mum was around,he never mentions her.All he ever talks about is you,he adores you.”
Harry's voice was lead and something in it made my own heart drop too.Was Harry gay?Did he think I was?Oh God,was I that obvious?
“Yeah well.Her priorities aren't always right.”
I mumbled,fixing my eyes on a scuff at the edge of my Italian leather shoe.
“Louis,” Harry's voice was soft again,a soft plea for me to look up, “I didn't mean to pry,I'm sorry.That wasn't my place.”
I lifted my head slowly and matched his hesitant smile,saying with a shrug, “I don't mind,honestly.”
At that moment,Freddie and Niall hurried over,Freddie bundled up in his big grey duffle coat which I had insisted on buying for him for the colder months.
“Come on then buddy.Let’s get you home,yeah?There’s an invitation to a teddy bear tea party waiting at home with your name on it.”
I said,fondly,taking Freddie's tiny hand in my own.
“Really?Will Mr Yellow be there?”
Mr Yellow was Freddie's beloved teddy which he had been given when he was just a baby by Zayn.His yellow fur was now beyond grubby and one of his legs was hanging off but he refused to throw it out,instead citing that he would love it forever.
“Well I dunno Fred,I did hear he may have prior engagements but I guess we’ll see when we get home.Who can resist tea and cake right?”
Freddie nodded happily,his mind already imagining all of the food he would serve to his bear friends.
“Will you be back Monday mate?”
Niall asked suddenly,hope filling his,and when I looked to my side,Harry's face as well.It was odd but I felt like I'd known them forever.
“I'm not sure….I have work and I was only here today because the nanny was sick.”
I said,a touch of sadness to my tone.I realised I did want to come back.Not just because I was hopelessly attracted to Harry but also because it would be a damn shame never to see Niall again.
“I'll try.”
I promised,earning a nod from the two men.
“Come on Daddy,the bears will be hungry.”
Freddie said,impatiently tugging on my hand.
“Okay,okay.Bye guys,see you yeah?Say bye to Harry and Niall Freddie.”
To my surprise,Freddie high fived Niall and then launched himself into Harry's arms,wrapping his arms around his neck in a vice like grip.
“Love you Hazzy.” Freddie mumbled,much to my surprise.I knew Niall had said they were close but I didn't realise how much Freddie liked him.
“Love you too Freddo.” Harry laughed,placing him back on the ground.
Meeting my wide eyed stare,Harry laughed and waggled his fingers in a sort of wave. “Bye Louis.”
“Yeah,don't be a stranger mate.”
Niall chimed in.
More parents were starting to pull up outside the nursery and while Niall bustled off after his parting word to greet the various parents and make sure the kids had everything,Harry stayed rooted to the spot.
I watched him as I put the key in the ignition of my BMW,Freddie safely strapped into his car seat and singing along happily to a song on the radio.He was beaming,a diamond in a crowd of rough.My lips itched with the need to kiss him right then as I watched his gangly figure,leaning against the lilac door,his eyes fixed to mine with an intensity that scared me.With one final smile,I reversed the car and pulled away from the little nursery,watching Harry's lone figure in my rear view mirror.
On the drive back home,Freddie,oblivious,prattled on about tea party dress codes and finger food but all I could think about was a certain curly haired prince who,in less than two hours had managed to wriggle himself into my heart.