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"Night baby girl, I love you." I bent down to kiss her forehead and pulled the covers up to her chin. Her hair was not-so-perfectly braided to the side. She had just recently insisted I learn how to braid her hair.
"Daddy? Gonna sleep now too?" Amanda asked sounding very sleepy. I'd have to remember not to allow extra cartoons this late.
"No, unless you want me to? Can you go to sleep without me, baby?" I wanted to get some extra work done tonight so was hoping she'd be okay.
"Mhm. Just stay 'til sleep." She mumbled turning over on her tummy away from me trying to get comfortable.
"Such a good girl." I praised rubbing her back until I heard her breathing steady and knew she was asleep.
I got up gently shutting the door and quietly pulling out my work papers.
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"Daddy?" I heard my little girl call to me from the hallway.
I got up, walking towards her voice, "Amanda? Daddy's right here, where are you, darling?"
"'M right here." She was standing at the end of the hallway lookig towards me. She was wearing her white tank top with pink panties on and must've been freezing. I was wearing my red plaid pj bottoms and was chilly without a blanket. "Baby, are you okay? Must be cold. Let's go get comfty and we can talk." I bent down to pick her up and we made our way to the bedroom.
" 'Kay." She shyly said, burying her head in my neck as I carried her back to bed.
"What happened?" I gently set my baby into bed, crawling in next to her.
Pulling the covers up, "Weren't here. Scared. Missed you." She whimpered sliding back against the bed.
"Monkey, I was just around the hall what really happened?" She doesn't like being alone but never reacts this way to not finding me next to her. She is independent so sleeping alone for a little bit is not something we've had problems with.
"Don't wanna 'member, daddy." She rolled into my side, her face pressing into me.
"Baby, c'mon you need to tell me." I said sternly. I could tell she was feeling very little because of her speech patterns. Her cutting sentences short is a big deal since Amanda loves to talk.
"Daddy please talk morning. Sleep." She tried again, but I sighed pulling her on my lap. She squirmed and her cheeks turned rosy. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a little red stain on the sheets finally understanding.
"Baby, you know daddy couldn't help unless you told me." I carried her to the bathroom and set her on the toilet, pulling her panties down.
"'M sorry. I wanted it to go 'way." She whispered looking down. I knew her special time of the month wasn't fun not because of pain but because she had a hard time feeling little.
"I know, baby. Daddy isn't mad. You don't like it but Daddy's sorry you have to." I reached into the cupboard underneath the sink and got out a pad and a diaper. "Baby what do you want?"
She made grabby hands toward the diaper and I didn't scold her for not using her words. It was late and she was embarrassed, no need to shine a flashlight on her right now. "Did you wipe?" I slipped her panties past her ankles and replaced it with the diaper.
"Yeah," Short answers weren't good. Tomorrow we were going to need big cuddles. I helped her off the toilet and pulled her diaper up.
"How does your tummy feel, dear?" I closed the wooden cupboard and stood up.
"Fine." she squeaked.
Taking her hand and patting her butt Amanda sighed, "stop, please daddy."
"Sorry, Monkey your tush is cute, couldn't help it." Trying to comfort her I grabbed Wonderful , her blanket, and gave her to her. "Here want Wonderful, baby?"
Nodding she took her from me and I climbed onto bed. "Daddy! Stop!"
Not doing anything but sitting down I was worried, "What baby? I'm not doing anything." I pulled her up with me and kissed her forehead trying to calm her.
"Daddy! Sitting on it!" She writhed in my lap and I understood what she meant.
"Monkey I don't mind sleeping on it for tonight, it's lte and we should both be in bed." Not calming down a bit I keep talking, " It's dry anyway, okay? Please calm down." Holding her tightly against my chest I was looking at her.
Her face was red with embarrassment and being worked up. Her cheeks were wet with tears. I pressed my lips under her eyes to kiss the tears away. " It's just something that came from you Amanda, I don't mind it. Even if it wasn't dry daddy would still sleep with you, okay?" With that she stopped struggling but kept the tears coming.
She sat and she cried until nothing else came out.
"Are you all cried out baby?" She nodded. "Okay. Let's go to sleep. You're fine, daddy is here. Wonderful is here too," I reached over and grabbed her blankie," and she doesn't want you to cry anymore." She nodded and her eyelids were slowly drooping.
Sighing I closed my eyes and started to drift off.
Hearing a shuffling noise I groaned and sat up only to find that Amanda wasn't in bed next to me. "Baby." I called out to her. Peeling back the covers and standing up I followed the noise into our bathroom. "Pumpkin, what are you doing up? And shuffling through the cupboard? What do you need?" I'm pretty sure what she was looking for but asking can't hurt.
I entered the bathroom, looking at her on the floor in front of the sink. "Wanted to be changed." She wasn't looking at me but instead the open cupboard.
"Not an excuse, munchkin. Could've woke me up, yeah?" Her head turned and our eyes finally met. "C'mere." I made grabby hands towards her until she got up.
"I could have done it by m'self, daddy. 'M big girl." I grabbed under her armpits and lifter her up on to my waist. Her little legs grasped around my midsection as she put her head on my shoulder.
"Monkey can I have my good morning kiss? I don't think I got one yet." She shook her head and pressed her lips to mine for a short peck. Before she could shy away I kissed the bridge of her nose and smiled. "Hi baby. Thank you for my kiss."
"Welcome." I let her resume her previous position with her head on my shoulder and set her on the sink so I could grab what we needed to change her.
"I know you're a big girl but sometimes daddy can help right? Or do you not want daddy anym-"
"Stop! That's not funny." Her face was telling me to not continue my sentence and I obeyed.
I was happy to see she still wanted me in her life but didn't want Amanda upset with me. "I am not laughing. I was just making sure. As long as you want me you have me."
"Well double check differently next time Dean. Can you please leave me to myself for a while?"
"No baby, sorry. I understand that you're upset with me checking on our status but I needed to. Next time I will ask differently, but you can't just push me away." Amanda using my full name was a sign she was feeling hurt and Big. I needed to help her calm down and talk about her feelings for this to be okay.
"I said please, though," she pleaded on the verge of tears.
" I know and you were such a good girl remembering your manners even when you're upset, so proud munchkin." I kissed the top of her head. "You make daddy so proud. You know that, right?"
"Isn't fair! I asked nicely. Why can't I have some alone time?" Her eyes were big and brown and beautiful even when she was holding back tears.
Sighing I held her close to my chest, "Because I need to comfort my baby. I cannot just leave you to deal with mean monster feelings all by yourself. What kind of daddy would I be then?"
"One who gave me what I want?" She squeaked from her position, head pressed into my chest, "because I really really want alone time."
"Don't want to spoil you rotten do I?" I waited for her answer, which was a yes, of course, "Nuh-uh. No, I don't want my Monkey to rot! I'd love you anyway, but much rather have you ripe." She groaned and I knew what could help, it always did. "Like the way your cheeks turn red after I tell you how pretty you are or when I say that everyday walking down the street you break so many hearts. Or even better your smile when I tell you that you're the best thing that's happened to me. Or, my favorite, of all time your laugh. I love everything about your laugh. Whether you are laughing at me when I make silly faces for you or if your cartoon made a joke...baby it doesn't even matter why. I love those Daddy-Let-Me-Stay-Up-Too-Late laughs when everything is funny and I can't get you quiet. Even when you aren't quite doing everything I ask I still love you. I will love you even when you stop loving me Amanda. Some silly blood doesn't even phase me, I just want you to understand I don't mind this one bit. Okay?"
I felt a subtle nod then sniffling. "Hey, Mandy, baby c'mere." She put her arms around me neck while looking at me with watery-eyes. "Please babe don't cry."
" 'Kay. I'm still tired. 'M hungry too." I laughed knowing she was back to being my Little and relaxed.
"Yeah? What do you want today? French toast... eggs... pancakes... waffles... omlette..? None of those? No? What about waffles with ice cream on them?"
"Yeah!!! That sounds so good please daddy?" She bounced up and down looking at me with a very excited look.
"Course munchkin, but first things first we need to get yourself clean, okay?"
"Okay." She still sounded unsure but had more courage than before. I love my little trooper.