Chapter Text
Waffle Iron: So, a few big announcements this afternoon!
Pantastic: Are you finally coming out of the closet?
Wrench Wench: Paninya no!
Princess Powerhouse: Paninya yes!
Pantastic: He knows to ignore me by now.
Waffle Iron: I mean, you’re kinda right so…
Wrench Wench: Wait WHAAT??
Pantastic: UM?????
Wrench Wench: ajgfasdfssd!!!!!11 Since whebn???
Totally Not A Furry: oh, finally. Now I don’t have to hold in all the puns I’ve been thinking of
Princess Powerhouse: You knew about this?
Ding Dong Bitch: You didn’t know about this? He’s dramatic af and wears leather pants? Does that say anywhere near ‘heterosexual’??
Wrench Wench: If I was going to assume people were gay over their dramatic tendencies then everyone in this chat is gay af!
Pantastic: Wait, didn’t you have a thing for Winry a while back?
Waffle Iron: Thanks for bringing that up
Pantastic: Sorry, but it’s true?
Waffle Iron: Also, technically I’m Bi and as for ‘when’ I kinda knew it since I was thirteen?
Wrench Wench: Wait, you figured this out when you were thirteen and you didn’t tell us?
Pantastic: You realize everyone in this chat is either somewhere in the Gay or very much an Ally?
Waffle Iron: It never came up?
Wrench Wench: Really? I mean, I might’ve been upset about you stealing my thunder, but you could’ve mentioned it when I made the joke of being ‘PANsexual for PANinya’.
Waffle Iron: It was this kinda limbo situation. I knew it’d be fine if you guys knew, but I didn’t feel the need to announce it as it wasn’t relevant?
More Like A Nonja: In hindsight, the signs were there.
Wrench Wench: You know what? She’s right. You being Bi makes a few things make more sense now. I’m seeing the Gay Panic™ and jokes.
Totally Not A Furry: This is Ed we’re talking about. He’s never subtle about anything! How didn’t any of you catch on?
Ding Dong Bitch: I caught on!
Waffle Iron: Al, the only reason you know is because I told you!
Totally Not A Furry: Maybe, but I was the one who noticed something was bothering you when you were in the questioning phase and decided to see what was up.
Totally Not A Furry: BTW, remember when Ed was thirteen and broke his phone? That’s because when I went to ask what was going on with him, I happened to walk in while he was figuring it out by reading m/m fanfic
Totally Not A Furry: He panicked and chucked his phone at my face
Wrench Wench: That’s fucking beautiful!
Princess Powerhouse: idk, I don’t think I’d want to walk in on anyone doing that
Ding Dong Bitch: Which fanfic was it >;P
Waffle Iron: First off
Waffle Iron: I was only READING the fic. Not the other thing.
Totally Not A Furry: Thankfully I have not walked in on him doing that ever.
Pantastic: Yet
Princess Powerhouse: That is ominous
Waffle Iron: Second of all
Waffle Iron: I was going to be nice for once and say I told you because you’re my brother and I trust you
Waffle Iron: Just remember: Turnabout is fair play
Wrench Wench: Nice knowing you
Pantastic: I’ll be picking a nice bouquet for your funeral
Ding Dong Bitch: I’m so glad Mei and I have only gotten along for a couple months because I would not be able to survive sibling-level blackmail
Totally Not A Furry: Uh…
Totally Not A Furry: You might want to put your revenge blackmail on hold?
Waffle Iron: Why should I? :)
Totally Not A Furry: Because I’m currently with Riza and she’s getting curious about what’s making me laugh so hard.
Totally Not A Furry: So you might want to send some funny memes if you don’t want her finding out about this
Pantastic: SFWS.png
Totally Not A Furry: Safe For Work Sasuke won’t help
Waffle Iron: You can tell Riza if you want
Pantastic: Just going for the ‘might as well be totally out’ thing, ain’t you?
Waffle Iron: Well, that and Roy already knows so she’ll find out eventually
Wrench Wench: Hold the fuck
Wrench Wench: You told Roy of all people before you told us????
Totally Not A Furry: Even I’m surprised at that one?
Totally Not A Furry: We have no idea how they’ll react, why’d you tell him?
Waffle Iron: That’s a longer story, but it does bring me to the second of my big announcements for the day
More Like A Nonja: I was going to point that out
Princess Powerhouse: Now I’m scared. What announcement could be bigger than you coming out?
Waffle Iron: Well, it’s the reason I’m doing the whole ‘officially coming out’ thing, since if I didn’t say anything you’d figure it out pretty soon
Pantastic: What could you possibly do to make it more obvious than it apparently was?
Waffle Iron: I got a boyfriend?
Totally Not A Furry: a WHATNOW?
Wrench Wench: At least I’m not alone in my surprise!?
Pantastic: sadgfhlhj
Princess Powerhouse: How can you get a boyfriend???
Wrench Wench: Who What Where When and WHY????
Totally Not A Furry: Who is your new boyfriend? Why am I just now hearing about this??
Pantastic: You can’t just drop that bomb and not tell us who? Is it someone we know?
Ding Dong Bitch: Yes, Ed
Ding Dong Bitch: Tell us about your mystery man
Ding Dong Bitch: I bet it’s someone tall, handsome, and wonderful
Waffle Iron: You forgot to add ‘an idiot and also a total dork’
Ding Dong Bitch: I’ll take that as a compliment
Pantastic: Okay, us not realizing Ed was into guys is one thing. But how did none of us notice he apparently had a crush on Ling???? He’s usually obvious with his crushes??
Waffle Iron: Rude
Wrench Wench: Because none of us knew he was into guys so we didn’t connect the dots
Princess Powerhouse: Then what’s Al’s excuse?
Totally Not A Furry: So when did this happen?
Princess Powerhouse: Don’t ignore my question
Ding Dong Bitch: Apparently we’ve liked each other for a while, but when all of you bailed on our hangout today I decided to say ‘hey, how about we make this a date’.
Ding Dong Bitch: Ed reacted adorably flustered
Waffle Iron: I had been wondering if you guys planned this to set us up, but considering the rest of the conversation I find it very unlikely
Wrench Wench: So, again, why did you tell Roy before telling us about this?
Waffle Iron: Technically I didn’t. One of his friends saw us today and told him
Totally Not A Furry: Rude. What kind of person just outs a guy to his family?
Princess Powerhouse: A total dick
Pantastic: Do we need to kick asses?
More Like A Nonja: I am on hand if needed
Waffle Iron: No! It wasn’t that!
Waffle Iron: They were… concerned. Because they thought, well, you know how sometimes people think Ling’s a bit older than us?
Totally Not A Furry: Oh
Princess Powerhouse: Oh
Wrench Wench: Oh
Pantastic: Oh
Ding Dong Bitch: Sorry?
Waffle Iron: They only told Roy because they thought you might be some college-age guy taking advantage of me :/
Waffle Iron: I clarified that it’s just that you look older, but you’re actually a few months younger than me
Ding Dong Bitch: Glad it was just legitimate concerns and not some asshole move
Totally Not A Furry: So, Roy was chill with you dating a guy?
Waffle Iron: Yep. I mean, he gave me a goddamn heart attack when he was confronting me about Ling’s age, because I thought it was about that, but he’s fine with it and I assume Riza will be too.
Waffle Iron: At this point I’m more afraid that he’ll try to give me ‘the talk’
Totally Not A Furry: If he does, let me know so I can run because that’ll be awkward
Wrench Wench: I think you already have the general idea
Ding Dong Bitch: fanfic is not always the best source for this kind of thing
Waffle Iron: I know that!
Waffle Iron: Also, Al, I don’t think you’ll escape because we’re apparently having a ‘family meeting’ later
Waffle Iron: Hopefully it’s just a ‘it’s okay if you’re gay you can tell us’ talk
Totally Not A Furry: Fuck
Ding Dong Bitch: Good luck you two!
Waffle Iron: Don’t think you’re getting out of this
Waffle Iron: Roy already said he’d like to actually meet you now
Wrench Wench: Be prepared for shovel talk >:D
Princess Powerhouse: Hey, didn’t you say Roy’s a cop?
Waffle Iron: Riza too.
Totally Not A Furry: Specifically homicide detectives, though I know Roy used to work in the arson department.
Ding Dong Bitch: So shovel talk is going to be your typical ‘I can kill you and no one would ever find the body’ thing but with actual knowledge and skill to back it up?
Waffle Iron: Most likely
Pantastic: BringItOn.gif
