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“You’re gonna get old, you know?” Leo says during their second year. “And get wrinkles on that beautiful face of yours?”
“It’s not like I plan on living that long,” Izumi replies. “I’ll live a short but beautiful life.”
And to that, Leo replies “what? You should live long! Let’s be friends even when we’re old men, alright?” And then he reaches out his hand. “Pinky swear—it’s a promise!”
Izumi doesn’t reach back.
“You sure are shameless despite being late, Tsukinaga-kun,” Eichi says, and oh, that’s right, that’s great, Tenshi is here, too! They’d had so much fun playing chess in the hospital it’d seemed rude not to invite him to a Chess-related event. Only, they’re not really Chess anymore, are they? They’re not Chess anymore, or Othello or Backgammon, either. They’re Knights. Knights. But Eichi’s playing style is pawn-centric, so maybe Leo should have chosen “Pawns.” Even though it sounds like Ponzu, or Prawns. Shrimp. But, ah, well, Izumi had liked Knights anyway, so it’d stayed. They’re Knights now. Not Chess.
Because you can’t play chess on a broken board.
How long will Knights stay, though? How long will Izumi stay? How long will Leo? It’s not like they can grow old at Yumenosaki Academy together, and it’s not like they can retain their youth without drinking from a mythical fountain.
Everything subscribes to the cycle of life and death—even music. How many masterpieces have been lost to time and the world? How many of Leo’s own songs are crumpled up papers in a recycling plant somewhere distant? Nowadays, knights are just fable figures. Just chess pieces. Just another name taking up space in Leo’s mind. And lately, his mind is already pretty damn dark and cramped and crowded! Like he’s locked in a basement full of snakes and spiders and roaches and demons— oh, but that’s a good idea. Good idea, Leo! There are stories about people being locked in basements and forced to produce work, aren’t there? Maybe they can serve as inspiration. He’ll have to ask Oba-san.
Lately, it’s like Leo is seeing the world through a thick black veil, even though brides are supposed to wear white.
Death do them part, hm?
If Leo grows old with Izumi, he’ll be able to keep composing songs forever and ever and ever and ever.
If Izumi is standing by his side, Leo’s inspirations won’t ever drain.
If there’s an empty space, should Leo just give up here? Make this his final stand?
Going into battle intending to die isn’t a very kingly—or knightly—thing to do. That’s more the samurai way, isn’t it? Honor and suicide.
At this point, do kingliness and knightliness even matter?
Maybe they do, or maybe they don’t. Either way, it’s now Izumi’s story. He can decide the role Leo will play. Hopeful protagonist or cunning villain; charming love interest or meddling anti hero.
“Since I help out here and there, I know a looot of people,” Madara says.
Izumi can decide how long the story will go on, and how large the cast will be. He can even kill Leo off in the first act if he wants to.
Ah, it’s great having this taken from Leo’s hands. It’s great being able to take a break! Great being able to take a step back. And, and it works for Izumi, too! After all, every good knight should have a damsel in distress.
Izumi’s eyes widen, and he turns to Leo. “Discussions? What did you go off and do…” He sighs. “Well, as the leader of Knights, Leo-kun does have the right to act on his own authority, I guess?”
Leo-kun. They’re about to go onstage, and he doesn’t have a pen because as Izumi always says, Leo’s head would fall off if it wasn’t attached to his shoulders. Is that why Dullahans have been rising in popularity lately? Because everyone’s so scatterbrained this metaphor is being overused? Leo will just have to think of a brand new one, then. His name will go down in history for both composing and inventing metaphors! Ah, but, oh no, his inspirational train of thought has already left the station… Leo has missed its boarding time… Leo-kun. Right. Leo sinks his nails into the idea’s flesh, lets it bleed underneath them.
Leo-kun. He’s been experimenting with remixes and digital compositions lately, because autotune makes everything sound more upbeat. It’s the kind of technology that lets you record, too. A big, fancy, wrapped-with-a-bow gift from his parents whose money is better off used on Ruka. But also maybe not, if it lets him do this.
Leo-kun, Leo-kun repeated in every voice Izumi has, Leo-kun said every way Izumi can say it. Leo-kun: a composition for its namesake.
Leo-kun, Leo-kun: the verses, chorus, and bridge.
“I love that part of you, Sena!” he’s saying. Of course, he loves all of Izumi down to his very atoms. “But... I’m a man too. It’d be cowardly to let myself be protected by you forever.” Is cowardice really so bad? If Izumi’s happiness comes from protecting Leo, and Leo’s happiness comes from Izumi, doesn’t it all work out? A full, round, big, happy circle bent into the shape of a heart. “No matter how much they say I’m a friend, a comrade, and they love me, it can’t be trusted. People can say anything with their mouths.” And Leo had been dumb enough to believe them! Some genius! Really, Izumi and Tenshi—who had thought to use ultraviolet pens and read the hidden messages between the lines—are the actual smart ones, here. It’s like Izumi always says! Leo is only as good as his compositions. “Isn’t it funny, Sena? What everyone loved wasn’t me, it was my songs! But that’s a given—I’m a genius after all! My songs are masterpieces, wahahaha!”
“…Leo-kun.”
He says Leo’s name like the very sound breaks his heart. And it breaks Leo’s, too! But there are oh so many pieces composed from the put-together fragments of broken hearts, so what’s a few more added to the list? And Izumi looks at Leo with what’s probably confusion, and might be pity, eyebrows kinda narrowed and eyes kinda wide.
He’s quiet. Where’s the loud Izumi, huh? The one always using foul language so unbefitting of his pretty mouth and model face, always scolding Leo and raising his beautiful singing voice and sighing all melodramatic? Where is he? Leo wants him back!
Well, if Izumi’s sharp tongue has dulled, Leo will just have to file it back to sharpness like a kitty’s claws!
Leo really isn’t supposed to be pitied! Scolded, maybe! Yeah! Scolded! But he’s not the pitiful one here at all!
Pity would mean he’s a fool, not a genius.
Leo laughs as loudly as he can. “No, wait, Sena! Don’t say anything, don’t be nice! This is where the real masterpiece starts, so laugh with me!”
Izumi doesn’t laugh. When’s the last time Leo had heard it? When’s the last time Izumi’s heavenly laughter had blessed his ears? It’s probably been a month by now, and Leo can remember that because he’d written a really good song about it and given it to Izumi, who had stared at Leo like he’d sprouted wings. And not angel wings, either—bat wings, or insect ones.
High school is supposed to be youth, and youth is supposed to be the time to write fun songs and love songs and hang out with your friends and confess to your crush.
So, where had they all gone wrong? What offshoot path had Leo taken to lead him here, not there?
Life is so much bigger than Yumenosaki Academy, but that just means there are infinite hallways that lead to the second years' hallway, not the thirds', infinite doorways that go to the teachers lounge instead of the kitchens, and infinite flower-lined paths that have the soccer fields, not the archery grounds on their other side.
Infinite, identical stairwells that lead to less-than-identical places.
Infinite rooftops to jump off of.
Those guys had robbed themselves of the chance to make it to old age.
Oh, that’s right. Leo should probably figure out if any of them had been Chess members.
Aha, he laughs out loud again, what kind of leader is he? What kind of king? What kind of ruler?
What kind of king can’t keep tabs on his own subjects? Even the Emperor standing nearby keeps a ledger full of wins and losses; of those who’ve died and those who’ve survived.
Hm, hm. What will happen to Leo and Izumi’s names, in the end?
Will they be checked in green, or circled in red pen?
“Hey, what’s up with them?” Leo demands. “Are they really idols? Why are they living for? Why don’t they just die?”
Some of them might’ve died already. But that’s what they get! And from now on, they’re enemies. So Leo doesn’t even need to care!
It’s all wrong. And rude! Don’t those former Chess members know what they’ve done to Leo? Don’t they realize? Can’t they? They’ve slaughtered his joy. They’ve coffee-stained the happiness of his composing! Wait, no. No, they’ve blood-stained it.
Or maybe they’d just opened up Leo’s eyes. In which case, Leo would have really rather kept them shut! Borrowing some of Shu’s string might fix that, though. Sew sew, snip snip.
Apparently, genius is a double-edged sword. Apparently, Leo is lopsided! God must have crammed all Leo’s talent into composing instead of spreading it across the board like he did with other people. What do you call them, again? Jacks of all trades? Like that. In cards, there are kings and queens, too.
But there aren’t any knights. Only jacks.
Leo is neither. So, is that double-edged sword too heavy for him to carry? Should he trade it in for a spear? A knife? Throw away his weapons altogether and fight with his fists?
…Should he even keep fighting at all? Leo no longer recognizes the coliseum he’s fighting in after Tenshi’s reconstruction. The stands are filled with people Leo has defeated, and people who have defeated Leo, and it doesn’t matter anyway because the fights are all fixed! And that doesn’t matter either because Leo has fixed this fight too, in a way.
But, eh, wait, aren’t coliseums for gladiators, not knights? Whatever. Whatever! This is just further proof the Chess guys have done something to his mind. Filled its clear blue skies with perpetual rainstorms and dark clouds and even removed all the lightning. Leo hasn’t seen a rainbow in weeks! And it’s all their fault.
… Or is it?
If Leo traces the path back even further, it’s Izumi’s fault for making him think he had the strength. For keeping the wool over Leo’s eyes. For secretly carrying the double-edged sword alongside him.
“But! Those guys weren’t like that, right… Sena? You were always telling me that, huh? Sorry for not listening to you! But I didn’t want to believe it!” Only Izumi and Tenshi had been honest. Even Leo had also lied to himself! But… “It’s all your fault!” Making Leo love him. “You were the first person I met at this school, my first friend, always giving everything your all! I thought, idols are amazing—maybe here I can find some comrades!” Giving Leo hope. “I believed in that! That’s why absolutely everything is your fault… Sena!”
Erasing Leo's solitude as easily as he might've erased chalk.
“…Why is it my fault?” At least Izumi isn’t looking at him with pity now.
But, Izumi really has been saying it the whole time, hasn’t he? That Leo’s only good for composing? Leo should have listened more closely to the songs outside his own head.
He starts singing.
Izumi’s fault, for fooling Leo into believing he's anything more than his music.
Izumi’s fault, for being a good person.
Izumi’s fault, for inspiring Leo when he might've otherwise not had any.
Izumi’s fault, for being Leo’s friend.
“Sena!” becomes his battlecry. “Don’t chat, sing! The audience is coming in already, y’know! It’s our job to make it fun and make them happy! Right?”
Izumi’s shoulders stiffen, and he sighs. There’s the grumpy Izumi! “I got it, even without you telling me…” His smile is wry. “Seeing all work perfectly through to the end is the mark of a professional.”
He starts to sing, too, in his beautiful voice. And as he does, sweat covers Izumi’s beautiful face, and drips from Izumi’s beautiful face down onto his beautiful neck, and Izumi throws his whole body into every dance move and reaches toward with audience with his free hand.
And there might be some other guys occupying the stage, too. Tenshi’s here for sure, right? And Mama. They’d probably all just conversed a few minutes ago. Or had that been last week…?
Leo keeps his eyes forward.
Right, why would he look at anyone else, anyway? Why would his eyes be drawn anywhere but Izumi’s?
Izumi is shining so much more brilliantly than the rest of them—like the North Star compared to a bunch of dull specks.
Does that make Leo Peter Pan?
Maybe they’ll never have to grow old, then.
Or, no. The North Star really doesn’t do Izumi Sena justice at all. And since the new unit name they’d chosen are characters all about justice, Leo really needs to start acting the part! Izumi shines way more brightly than the North Star, and he’s so hot it burns. He’s way, way more important, and far, far more passionate. He gives off the very light Leo’s moon reflects… like… like… like the sun!
Romans had worshipped the sun, hadn't they?
So, Izumi can be the sun to Leo’s moon!
But that’s a garbage cliche of a metaphor, and it reeks, and Leo needs to throw it into the trash and then take out the trash and then burn it all and start from scratch.
He’s losing both his touch and his grip, so Leo grips his own microphone more tightly.
If Izumi lives to old age, his silver hair will grey, and his fluffy hairline will recede. His not-quite-sea, not-quite-sky, more-like-sapphire blue eyes will fade, and their lids will weigh heavy, and their vision will become poor, and their corners will crease from either laughter or anger that only time will tell which if Izumi allows it to. The skin he’s so proud of will sport sun spots and wrinkles, and his muscles will deteriorate and his posture will hunch and his spine will shrink. When Izumi tries to sing—to put his voice to Leo’s notes—his voice will croak like a bullfrog’s, and it won’t be pretty.
And Leo… Leo’s sharpness might dull like a sword left to the elements, might rust from all the blood it has drawn.
Would it be better just to sheath it now, then?
Better to withdraw from the war—come home empty handed? Or would it be better to run in as fast as he can, hack and slash with the last of his strength until he’s called a demon?
If growing old means losing, maybe it’s best to die young. Shine as brightly as they can in their youth, then explode in on themselves like dying stars. Go out in a brilliant blaze of glory, and then become black holes that suck in anyone who dares approach their graves.
Ah, there are other people on the stage, aren’t there? To Izumi, Leo says “even these guys are gathered here because of you.” And then, to them, he adds “yeah! You guys! If you can, I’d like you to always stay friends with Sena!” And then, to that, Leo adds “if you don’t wanna, that’s fine, though! It’ll be just me and Sena! The two of us are undefeatable!” He turns to Izumi again. “Be honest with me, I’ll listen." He'll listen, he'll listen, as long as he gets to stop flapping his tongue. "I’m an idiot, so I can’t figure it out on my own…" He needs Izumi to. "Sena, you’re the smart one. Think about it and tell me what I should do. I’ll make your dreams come true. I’ll do it, together with you.”
With the ink of Izumi’s laugh, Leo can leave his mark on the world. He’ll sign his name in handwriting as wide and dark and sprawling as the night itself, form a new Leo constellation in the sky. The existing one is a monster killed by Hercules; a lion created to be slain. Is that Leo’s purpose, too? Is he only a stepping stone for others—a challenge for the real protagonists to overcome?
Has he—have they been villains all along? Or are they just headed down that path?
“Even if I have to cut away and trample over everything else,” Leo announces, “I’ll tuck away the most important thing to me and look after it.”
Will Leo turn into a monster if he stays by Izumi?
Will Leo kill even him?
Will he suck Izumi dry, down to sandpaper-like skin and brittle bones?
Like that enigmatic guy who’d been a year above them—the one who claims he’s a vampire?
Izumi’s blood is probably just as beautiful as Izumi himself: a passionate, crimson red.
But blood is precious. Izumi is precious. Leo shouldn’t spill a single drop! What should he do, then? Spill his own blood? Spill others’? Spill the blood of everyone who Izumi deems unworthy of having blood at all, even if that feeling extends to Leo?
The voice in Leo’s head is beginning to sound kinda like Tenshi’s.
“Sena, every day’s been so much fun since I met you. It was a dazzling, radiant time of youth, so bright I couldn’t see anything else. If I took every little memory and made them into a song, it wouldn’t end within a single lifetime.”
Izumi had given Leo so much inspiration; endless inspiration. That fountain of youth, constantly overflowing.
And then the other Chess members had sucked it dry.
So, is it really Izumi’s fault?
It… it could be Leo’s. But, no! Leo was just trying to be productive—just using his God-given genius talents to write music. And he hadn’t even been selfish at all during the process! Not once! He’d been generous, really, kind enough to share the masterpieces he’d created instead of keeping them all to himself!
Maybe he should have, though. Maybe Leo should have kept all the notes in the symphony inside his own head; kept all the emotion locked in the basement of his own heart.
Maybe the tides wouldn’t have lapped this highly, then.
Or maybe they would have.
Agh! He just doesn’t fucking know.
Maybe the problem is that Leo has reached his peak. Maybe he was never meant to go any higher. Maybe, in fact, he was meant to sink lower, and lower and lower and lower still. Dragged down to hell instead of reaching heaven. Maybe that’s the path he’s been on from the start.
Or maybe it’s the one he’d strayed to.
Back to paths, always paths. And by saying all this, Leo’s creating a brand new one right now!
“My dreams were fulfilled by meeting you.” Leo’s done. He’s done. “So this time, it’s my turn.”
No more deciding for himself. It’s as Izumi says—he’s too stupid to make rational decisions. Too air-headed. Too ridiculous. Too idiotic when it comes to anything but composing to know right from wrong.
Leo’s head is too high in the clouds to see directions back on Earth, so he’ll place his fate in Izumi’s hands instead.
Izumi is smart. He’ll know what to do. He’ll know where to go. He’ll choose the right path for Leo, like a spirit guide down to the underworld.
“How about it? Tell me what you wanna do, and let’s achieve it together! What should I do? Tell me, Sena!”
Tell Leo, so he can lay his head down. Tell Leo, so he can stop the clock ticking its countdown. Tell Leo, so he can go back to composing. Tell Leo, so he can rest.
“Should I just destroy every single thing that doesn’t please you, every single person you don’t acknowledge? If that’s your wish, then I’ll grant it for you! No-- I'll help you make it come true!” Like a genie. Genius, genie, aha. “So be honest with me, cut to the chase and say it! What do you want to do? Don’t be shy, say it!” Say it, so Leo can stop the record in his head. “I won’t laugh!” He’s the only fool here. “It’s not fair that you see all my embarrassing sides, so show me all of you too!” It’ll be gorgeous, like all of Izumi. “Even if it’s some filthy desire, whatever it is, show me! I’ll make it into the greatest work of art, show all the world and have it be praised and admired as something beautiful!” He’ll show Izumi off. Show the world how inspirational he is; how beautiful. Together, they’ll be at the top: Izumi’s beauty, and Leo’s music. Ah, he can see it… the inspiration is starting to flow once more! “No matter if I’m resented, or hated by everyone, if I bleed out all the blood from my body or have to cut away everything else… Even if I make an enemy out of the entire world, I’ll be happy as long as you’re together with me.”
Hurry up and tell Leo so he can find purchase on this rocky cliff without falling into the cavern below.
Izumi’s eyes widen, and his lips part just so. “What…. why would you…?” His cheeks are pink. “I don’t understand, Leo-kun.”
“What’s wrong, Sena? It’s alright! Go ahead and do what you want!” Leo urges those lips to form words—the words Izumi surely desperately wants to say at this very moment. The words Izumi surely desperately wants to say and is too embarrassed to! Ahaha, classic Izumi. A tsundere til the very end! How stubborn. How beautiful. How cute.
Will Izumi be a grumpy tsundere even when he’s old?
Or will he and Leo fade long before then?
Out of the corner of Leo’s ears, he hears snippets of Izumi and the glasses guy’s conversation.
“Mm? What kind of face am I making?” Izumi is asking.
And the glasses guy is responding “you kiiinda look like an innocent little girl in love for the first time, who's just been proposed to by the person she admires!”
Leo keeps singing.
Don't they say thirty percent of all marriages end in divorce? And then, and then, how many more end in one being widowed?
Izumi stops singing.
The audience's clapping sound somewhere between a wedding march and a funeral hymn.
Leo takes a bow.
Together, they exit stage left.
It's probably just like Izumi says, isn't it? He'd been right about the Chess members using Leo, so he's probably right about this, too! Living a short but beautiful life.
And had Leo really loved anyone, anyway? If no one had really loved him?
Well, it's fine! Leo can just be the type who's married to his work, then. A brief, war-torn affair before he widows it! How poetic. How romantic! That'll be best.
But isn't getting married supposed to make you happy?
Autumn of their third year, Leo turns to Adonis. “I already get the feeling I’m not the type to have a long life, so don’t go making it any shorter!” he exclaims.
He's grinning as he does.