Chapter Text
Naruto had a little journal that he'd just started a few days before it happened. He'd designed and written a seal on a slip of silk and stitched it into his jacket, so it could go everywhere with him and he'd never have to worry about enemies reading it. Not even Sakura or Sasuke knew how to unseal it, and he planned to never tell either of them. His journal was where he put all of his too-fast thoughts down when they wouldn't go away, so he could stop thinking them for at least a while
He wrote in it every day, even the day that Kakashi was killed and they had to run, and the day after that, and the day after that. He never missed a day, not even when he had been captured by bounty hunters that one time.
It helped him, a lot, in more ways than one. It let him get his grief out in a healthy way, and it helped him focus when his brain was rebelling, and it served as a reminder, though not a grim one. The first few entries are labelled simply by date. The rest are dated and numbered, which he began the day that Kakashi was murdered.
He'd done it impulsively, spitefully. November 7, his entry for that day read, Day One of being a missing nin. One Day since Kakashi-sensei was murdered. He didn't know why he kept doing it, but he knew when he'd stop: the day they were able to kill whoever ordered Kakashi's assassination.
.
He removed the calming seal from Sakura on Day Thirteen. They'd found a wrecked cabin in the middle of nowhere in Fire Country, and Sasuke had declared them safe enough to stay for a few days. She screamed and cried and cursed them for taking her away, for not being there when it happened, for not stopping it. She hit and kicked and cried so hard that she nearly threw up.
Naruto held her throughout it, letting her fists and feet leave bruises that he knows will heal in moments. It hurt, of course it did, he won't lie. Kakashi had taught Sakura how to hit hard, and whoever her crazy taijutsu teacher was had taught her to hit even harder, and she wasn't pulling her blows in the least.
"I'm sorry," she'd said after, "You didn't deserve that."
"It's okay, Sakura," Naruto said, meaning it, "you needed that. I'm always going to be there when you need me."
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On day twenty-three, Sasuke said, "I'm cursed, I think."
"What does that mean?" Naruto had demanded.
Sasuke had shrugged. "This is the second time this has happened to me. You should probably leave me, if only for your own safety. I'll be fine; I always have been."
"Don't be dumb," Bisuke said. "That's not how it works at all, kid."
It had taken Naruto an embarrassingly long moment to realize that yeah, it had, actually. Not only did Sasuke lose Kakashi, he'd also lost almost all of his clan years ago, when it had been destroyed by his own brother. Naruto honestly couldn't imagine going through that twice. It was a wonder that Sasuke was functioning as well as he was.
"You're not cursed," Sakura told him severely.
Sasuke scowled. "Then how do you explain-?"
"There's something poisoned in Konoha," she spat, then, sounding angrier than Naruto had ever, ever heard her. "Obviously that was an inside job. You've heard the rumors that they've already fucking spread. Nobody in their right mind would ever believe I'd- I'd-!"
Sasuke seemed too stunned by the fact that Sakura had just cursed to respond, and while Naruto was stunned, too, he knew that if he didn't jump in, she was going to force herself to say something that was bound to give her a panic attack.
"Duh," Naruto said, "Of course nobody sane thinks you did it. It's a really bad lie."
"Plenty of people are going to think I did it!" Sakura shouted then, spinning on him. She hadn't washed her hair since they'd run, and it was upbraided and frizzy and wild and reminded Naruto somehow of white fur stained with blood. "I'm going to be blamed for his death! All because- because he- because he fucking loved us!"
"I know," Naruto said, trying to soothe and knowing he was going to fail, "I know. We'll fix it, when we're stronger, okay? I promise. We'll get whoever did this, okay? Promise of a lifetime, we'll get the fucker who did this."
Sakura nodded, and it was so very relieving to see a bit of life in her eyes again.
Naruto nearly jumped out of his skin when Sasuke snorted loudly, then started chuckling, and then laughing. Sakura didn't seem to know what to do, either, and somehow they both just froze and stared at him until he was able to bite out some words between laughs.
"I have a hit list, now," he said, "I'm a fucking cliche. I have a hit list!"
"Oh," Sakura said, apparently getting it, "we're missing nin and we have a hit list."
Itachi, Naruto realized, and now whoever was involved with Kakashi's death. It didn't take long for Naruto to join Sasuke in hysteric laughter, and then Sakura was infected as well, and it took the three of them a good hour to recover enough to start cooking the dinner their dogs had hunted for them.
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Day Thirty-two is the worst birthday Naruto has ever had.
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Things started to calm down on Day Forty-six. They hadn't heard hide nor hair of pursuers, and the rumors had started to mutate beyond what had been spread intentionally, which meant that the person who spread them had no control over them anymore. Yamato had told him that the second information wasn't or couldn't be controlled, the battle was mostly over.
The settled down in a forest near a farming village. Sakura refused to dye her hair, no matter how much Naruto begged or shouted. She compromised by using a henge and allowing Naruto to test out disguise tags on her. Sasuke had no such reservations about his hair, and willingly agreed to let Naruto cut his hair differently enough that he wouldn't be recognized as an Uchiha.
"Fuck clan-approved hair styles anyway," he'd muttered while Naruto chopped at his hair with a kunai.
"Yeah, it was pretty outdated," Sakura agreed.
"And ugly," Chika said, "I've had to look at that stupid hair cut every day since you summoned me. You don't even know how relieved I am that I won't ever have to look at it again."
Naruto had to stop for a solid fifteen minutes to laugh.
.
Day Seventy-eight caused a shakeup, and by shakeup Naruto meant they'd been found by a team from Konoha and the three of them had nearly had simultaneous heart attacks.
"Wait!" the jonin shouted, "Hold on, we won't attack!"
Naruto knew he shouldn't, knew his team and all of their dogs would lecture him so hard, knew he'd be scaring the shit out of all of them. But he also hoped, and it was that hope that made him stop and listen.
"The lie they've spread is ridiculous," the jonin said in a rush, ignoring the protests of his students that he capture or kill them, "Kakashi Hatake, killed by a chuunin-level ninja? Maybe by poison, but not like that. You have people on your side."
"Who?" Naruto demanded, kunai in hand. Hotaru had her hackles raised, and Shiba and Bull are on either side of her, their teeth bared in threat as well.
"Too many to name, but," the jonin paused, then said, "but I know you weren't the only defectors. Some guy named Kinoe or Tenzo? And a medic from the hospital, named Akari, no surname."
Naruto couldn't help the grin that spread across his face at that news. "Hey, thanks, shinobi-san. That's the best thing I've heard all month. What's your name?"
"Kaito Yoshida," the man said. "May we never meet over blades."
"Yeah, same to you, Kaito-san," Naruto said, and then disappeared into the trees after his teammates.
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Naruto spent the entirety of Day Seventy-nine being yelled at, and he took it with all the grace he had in him, because he knew that they had friends who could help them.
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They heard news of Sasuke's brother on Day One Hundred and One. He'd left whatever organization he was a part of, and seemed to be hunting down certain Konoha ninja.
"It doesn't make sense," Sasuke admitted after he raged about the fact that his brother existed, "I kept up on any information about him I could find, even some shit I shouldn't have been able to get to, and he's never killed a Konoha ninja after the Massacre."
"Remember a week or so back," Sakura said abruptly, "when Kaito-san sent us a message? That bit about how there were ANBU showing up dead at the gate? And that nobody even had records of these ANBU existing?"
"I remember," Sasuke said. "What does that have to do with anything?"
Naruto frowned. "Everyone has records, even ANBU. Theirs just get like, redacted and shit. I snuck into the records room a bunch of times when I used to do pranks, because nobody ever looked for me there. ANBU files are marked, but all of the things they do when they're in it get totally blacked out, even their deaths."
Akino hummed. "That sounds familiar, but I can't place why."
"Familiar?" Naruto replied, alarmed. "You mean you've heard of this before?"
"Yeah, but like I said, I can't remember why it sounds familiar," Akino said. "It must have happened in the few months a couple of years ago when he was always out on missions that he didn't summon us for. Pakkun would know more, but..."
Naruto winced. "Let's not bother him. Sakura, any thoughts?"
"To not have records at all," Sakura said slowly, "means that they weren't put in the system."
Sasuke scowled. "What does that mean?"
"It means," Sakura said with a snarl creeping onto her face, "that something is really, really rotten in Konoha, and whatever Itachi is doing, regardless of why, is exposing it."
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Sakura disappears for a whole twenty-four hours on Day One Hundred and Thirty-eight. It took Naruto longer than he'd ever admit to realize that it was her birthday and that it was her first without her mom. He and Sasuke agreed to not say anything when she returned.
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They don't run into Tenzo until Day Two Hundred and Seventeen, and it's jut a brief meeting in a motel in the shitty part of a town in Grass Country. He's being hunted harder than they are, so it's too dangerous for him to stay with them, but he tells them he risked the meeting to make sure they knew he was on their side.
"Oh, yeah, we knew," Naruto told him, grinning, "We ran into someone a while back that told us you and one of Sasuke's teachers defected 'cause of us! We haven't run into her yet, but if you meet her-"
"Oh, speaking of," Tenzo said, jolting and pulling something from an inside pocket of his jacket, "Sasuke, Akari told me to give this to you if I saw you. I'm going back to where she is soon, so if you want to send a message, I can take it."
Sasuke took the offered scroll and says, "tell her I said thank you."
"We have a place that's kind of safe," Sakura added, taking a piece of paper directly from Naruto's pocket and scribbling something down. "We don't go back too often, but we use it as a dead drop sometimes, when we have to split up, and it's good for an under-the-nose kind of hiding spot."
Tenzo took the paper, read it, and then absorbed the paper into his skin. "Thank you. I'll remember this."
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Day Two Hundred and Fifty-nine, Sasuke tells them about his worst birthday, and then forces them both to nearly buy out a nearby tomato vendor as a gift to him, which somehow turned into a big shopping spree.
It cheered all three of them up, somehow, though by the end of it, they were completely out of money and had needed to resort to pick-pocketing until they picked up a new job.
.
They met up with Akari on Day Three Hundred, and Naruto witnessed Sasuke initiate a hug with someone of his own free will.
"Holy shit," Sakura whispered to him. "You saw that, right?"
"Yeah, Naruto whispered back, "Can you believe it?"
"Stop fucking talking about me like I'm not here," Sasuke snapped. "Don't be fucking weird."
Akari snorted and ruffled Sasuke's hair when he pulled away from her. "Yeah, yeah, kid, I'm glad to see you too. I like this hair cut better than your last one, by the way."
.
Day Three Hundred and Five would have been Kakashi's birthday.
"We should figure out some way to like, honor him, I think," Naruto said right after breakfast, when all three of them were properly awake. "Tenzo said that he picked up a bunch of things his old teammates used to do before they died. What if we, like, did that?"
"If I catch either of you reading those dirty books-!" Sakura growled.
"Oh, ew," Naruto yelped, "No, not like, directly copy him, but like! I don't know, find something to do that like, reminds us of him?"
"Dibs on being late to things," Sasuke said. Chika barked out a laugh from her perch on his shoulder as he radiated smugness at having called the easiest and most personally convenient of Kakashi's habits.
Sakura groaned. "You're just going to use this to get out of doing shit you don't want to do, when we're-"
She stopped, and Naruto knew she almost said 'back in the village' when none of them were sure they'd ever be able to go back, regardless of how they brought Kakashi's killer to justice. Even if they did it in a way that made them look like heroes, would they want to go back?
"I'll take the books, then," Sakura said instead of finishing her original protest. "I've always liked mysteries, anyway."
"Then I'll do..." Naruto paused. "Jeez, what can I do?"
"The mask," Sasuke offered.
"No," Sakura argued immediately, "He'd look stupid, plus he hardly has the patience to wear a scarf in cold weather. He'd go insane wearing a mask all day, every day."
"Yeah, I'd totally burn it off your face if you started wearing a mask," Hotaru agreed.
They argued for about an hour before Uhei jumped up and started barking. "His gloves! I have some stored away in the between-worlds, cause when he was younger he used to go through them like crazy!"
And then Uhei disappeared with a puff of smoke and reappeared moment later, holding a pair of gloves in his mouth and wagging his tail proudly when he dropped them into Naruto's waiting hands.
Naruto pulled them on immediately and nodded. It felt right, that it was something barely noticeable yet still meaningful. It's not like anyone who didn't know Kakashi would know why Sakura would be reading shitty mysteries or why Sasuke would be late to things.
"I miss him," Sakura said quietly, later that night, after dinner was done and the three of them were piled together on one sleep roll and curled up with all nine dogs. "I wish..."
"Don't," Sasuke said. "He wouldn't want that."
"I know," Sakura said, and fell silent.
.
Sakura asked him to make her a reusable seal for her budding book collection on Day Three Hundred and Seventeen. Naruto wasn't sure how the fuck she'd managed to acquire the dozens of mystery novels that all seemed to have nearly identical covers in such a short period of time, but he made her a seal on a scrap of silk for her, and stitched it into her kunai pouch, so she could whip out a book like Kakashi used to.
He doesn't say anything when she spends the rest of the day practicing the maneuver.
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On Day Three Hundred and Twenty-four, Sasuke throws the both of them into a panic when he doesn't show up to the arranged meeting spot on time, and recieves a tag-team lecture for it when he does appear.
"I swear on Chika I'll never be later than an hour for you two," he begrudgingly promised afterwards, "At least until we're somewhere that's properly safe."
"Deal," Sakura and Naruto agreed.
.
Day Three Hundred and Sixty-five is the anniversary of Kakashi's and Tsubaki's deaths. They spent most of the day looking for a shrine to pay their respects at, and when they found one, they spent the rest of the night there.
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Sasuke left them for longer than the usual couple of weeks on Day Three Hundred and Seventy-nine.
"Akari's going to finish my training," he told them stiffly. "It's necessary. Lay low while I'm gone, because I won't be there to patch you up if you do something stupid, got it?"
"Got it," Sakura said, then hesitated and asked, "will you take Urushi with you? I'd feel better if you had more backup than just Bisuke and Chika. Not that they can't handle themselves, of course, but..."
"Yeah, yeah, and Bull!" Naruto added, "If something happens, have Urushi reverse summon back to Sakura, and Bull can stay and help, y'know?"
Sasuke softened. "Yeah, of course."
.
Tenzo appeared on Day Three Hundred and Ninety-seven with a box that he promptly handed to Naruto.
"It's from Sasuke," he said, "he told me he's sorry he missed your birthday, and asked me to bring this to you. It's been quiet enough recently that I figured it was safe to bring it to you on your birthday proper. Happy birthday!"
Naruto beamed and ripped open the box ruthlessly.
Inside was a new bomber jacket nearly identical to his first, which Naruto was beyond grateful for- his old one was tattered around the edges from training with his team and their dogs and the scrapes they've managed to get themselves into and out of. He slung it on right away, and looked back into the box.
There were dozens of rare and weird ramen flavors, which would have been enough to make Naruto a happy man, but underneath those was something that he freely and happily would admit that he cried over.
Sasuke, somehow, had gotten Ichiraku Ramen's recipe.
"I'm going to marry him," Naruto announced, tears of joy still in his eyes. "I don't care what that means, this is a marriage-worthy present that he just sent me, y'know?"
.
It was quiet without Sasuke around, even though he hardly spoke. Even quieter without Urushi and Bull. Thankfully, on Day Four Hundred and Thirty-nine, he appeared in their camp as though he'd never left in the first place.
"Your hair!" Naruto shrieked.
Sasuke's hair reached down to just past his collarbone now, and when he registered what Naruto had shouted at him, he touched his hair. If Naruto didn't know better, he'd have guessed that maybe Sasuke was self-conscious of it.
Sakura stared, too. "You grew it out. I thought you hated having long hair. You haven't had hair past your ears since that time in Year Three when Kiba said you looked like a girl."
To both of their surprise, Sasuke laughed lightly. "Yeah, well, I didn't have time to cut it-- Akari-sensei is a slave driver-- and then a team of Konoha shinobi walked right past me without even recognizing me, so I decided to keep it."
"This is how long your hair gets when you don't cut it for a few months?" Sakura demanded. "It takes me a year just to grow back a couple of inches!"
Sasuke shrugged and reached out to scratch Taiki between the ears. "Good genetics, I guess."
.
By Day Four Hundred and Forty-two, Sakura had taught Sasuke at least a dozen different hair styles he can do with his new long hair. He puts up with her hands in his hair more than Naruto ever thought he would, and even seemed to enjoy the attention, which was somehow not as surprising as it should have been.
.
On Day Four Hundred and Sixty-three, Sakura acquired half a dozen bottles of various alcohols and convinced Naruto and Sasuke to get drunk with her. Naruto still wasn't sure how he agreed, and remembers only three things from that day:
- Sasuke had gotten drunker than both of them and admitted that he was in love with someone, but passed out before either of them could ask who.
- Sakura could hold her liquor better than Naruto could, and he was the one with the insane metabolism.
- Naruto really, really liked Sasuke's new hair, and according to what little was legible of his entry from that day, that's all he wrote about.
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Naruto got kidnapped by Kiri of all places on Day Four Hundred and Ninety-nine. What happened to him honestly wasn't awful, except that he was separated from his team and his pack, but he still doesn't tell either of his team what happened, other than that the Mizukage owed him a favor and that he was never going to ever eat tuna ever again.
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On Day Five Hundred and Three, Naruto and Sasuke send Sakura, Taiki, Uhei, Akino, and Urushi to a spa that was renowned for how well it kept its patrons' secrets. The two of them had scrimped and scrounged and done so very many odd jobs for months to afford to give her a three-day pampering that they both knew she absolutely deserved. It wouldn't make up for not having her mom there for her sixteenth birthday, they knew, but it was still something.
She'd cried on them both and then kissed them both on the cheek right before she disappeared into the building.
Naruto touched where she'd kissed him and looked to Sasuke, who was staring at him with wide, surprised eyes and touching the spot where she'd kissed him as well.
"Well, I guess that means she likes it," Naruto had joked.
Sasuke's lip twitched. "I suppose so."
.
Sakura returned on Day Five Hundred and Seven, holding a tiny, tiny little puppy.
"Puppy!" Naruto exclaimed and threw himself towards her to examine it. "Baby puppy! Ohhhh, he's so cute, I love him what's his name when did you get him whats his breed-"
"Naruto, breathe," Sasuke said, yanking him back and taking his place, albeit much more calmly.
"I don't know her name yet," Sakura admitted. "I summoned him on the way back 'cause Uhei said I had enough chakra to tether another dog to me, and I got kind of excited and summoned her on impulse. I think she's a wolfhound."
Naruto cooed over her some more. Her fur was grey and a little wild. She was about as old as Taiki and Hotaru and Chika had been when they'd first been summoned, and was about as big as Taiki, if a little thinner. It was pretty obvious that she was going to be pretty big when she was older.
"Her fur reminds me of Kakashi's hair," Sasuke said, reaching out a hand to pet her.
"Me too," Sakura said softly.
"He'd love her," Naruto said, scratching Hotaru's head and letting Sasuke have a turn with the puppy. "I mean, he loves all dogs, but I think he'd especially love her, y'know?"
"Yeah," Sakura said, "I do know."
.
On Day Five Hundred and Twenty-seven, the puppy said, "My name's Maiya!"
"You can talk finally!" Sakura beamed. "Hello, Maiya, it's nice to meet you properly, finally!"
Maiya nodded her little head and let her tongue loll out of her mouth for a moment. Then she said, "I'm gonna be a really big dog, one day. My mama said so."
"Of course you are, Maiya," Sakura said, petting her head softly. "You're a wolfhound! You're gonna be as long as Sasuke is tall one day!"
Sasuke, currently, was the tallest of the three of them, at five foot eleven.
“Oh, jeez,” Naruto said, looking at Sasuke. “He’s gonna be huge.”
.
Day Six Hundred and Four brought a surprisingly easy-to-defeat team of Konoha chuunin sent to capture them.
“Huh,” Naruto said to Hotaru when the team was subdued and tied up, “We’re, uh, we’re pretty strong, aren’t we?”
“Of course we are,” Hotaru replied easily, “We were raised right.”
“If you’re going to talk, can you at least help?” Sakura demanded from her spot on a rock next to the river, where she was cleaning Maiya’s muzzle of blood. “Urushi’s a mess.”
“Make Sasuke help!”
“Sasuke,” Sasuke said dryly, “is busy healing our pursuers.”
Naruto sheepishly grabbed a clean rag and beckoned Urushi to him and began cleaning his muzzle of blood.
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Day Six Hundred and Seventy-Two brought a jonin squad. Luckily, the squad consisted of Anko, Kurenai, and two men who happened to be sympathetic.
“It’s bullshit,” one of the men said, “Like, no offense, but Kakashi Hatake? Copy-Cat Kakashi? Killed by a fifteen-year-old? No way, man.”
“None taken,” Sakura said. Naruto didn’t miss the way her fist clenched while the man was speaking.
“We should spar,” Sasuke said.
“Yes,” Kurenai agreed, “If you lose, we’ll say you ran off after trapping us somehow. If you win, we’ll tell them you beat us unconscious.”
Sasuke nodded. “I’ll heal any wounds. Please do not injure the dogs, if possible.”
That night, Naruto wrote the entirety of the fight blow for blow. The account takes up several pages of his sloppy handwriting, but at the end, he is overjoyed to be able to write: we won!
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His entry for Day Six Hundred and Ninety-Seven is just one line: Urushi died protecting us from ANBU without a village.
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It’s on Day Seven Hundred and Fourteen that he got the idea, but dismissed it as ridiculous and impossible.
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On Day Seven Hundred and Twenty-Nine, he reconsidered the idea, and decided that actually, it was totally feasible and, in fact, a good idea.