Chapter Text
Hermaeus Mora hadn't altered the string, through Evren wasn't blind. He was indeed tempted and that bothered her. Evren was happy they no longer hated each other, but Evren also knew that those emotions might return. Hermaeus Mora, on the other end, was less torn than he let on, confused about other things. He busied his time with reading, discovering and plotting his, no, their escape. Hermaeus Mora forgot that often, but he couldn't find anything to help her. Evren had no realm of her own, and couldn't slingshot back to Nirn.
Hermaeus Mora's tentacles fidgeted with the green thread, pained to know that he couldn't escape a horrid fate, as he read. Perhaps it wouldn't be so painful at the moment, in fact, it could even be pleasing. But Hermaeus Mora had to choose whether he would hold on to his dignity and pride or his sense of self.
Hermaeus Mora finished his writing, keeping a massive recollection of all events that happened in the Shivering Isles. He would go to learn from them later when he was home. When done, he drifted through the halls, finding himself at Evren's door. He was grateful she answered, swinging the door open and revealing herself in normal clothes, or as normal as Evren would allow herself to get. Hermaeus Mora remained silent at that thought, instead speaking of his progress in a dull manner, "I have found a way to get myself back to Apocrypha. However, you're return still eludes me. With my books, however, I am more likely to find something to help you."
"I get it," Evren nodded, "and until then?"
"Once I recover from my decay, I may be able to approach for a small amount of time," Herma Mora sighed. Great, now she'd expect him to. Evren smiled slightly.
"Thank you. It... means a lot that ye care," Evren reached out and he wrapped a tentacle around her arm. Evren rolled her eyes, "that works too. Anyways, I was just gettin' ready to go, Sheogorath's sending me out to Dementia to deal with some treachery there."
"Very well, Evren," Hermaeus Mora spoke, thought for a second, and chuckled, "I shall see you later, then."
"No, I'll see ya later. You'll probably just stalk me, It's not above you," Evren shrugged and grabbed her hide armor, putting it on over her clothes.
"It isn't?"
"No, it isn't," Evren walked past him, flipping her coat around her shoulders, "it's kind of a part of your purpose."
"You are correct," he hummed, noticing a leather-bound journal, "if you expect me not to read that, I suggest you put it somewhere out of sight."
"Oh, nah, it's just some crappy poems," Evren muttered, leaving the room, "read it to your soulless content, I'll be leavin' now."
"Farewell," he blinked and she hurried off. Hermaeus Mora's attention was quick to switch to the journal, and he picked it up swiftly, reading the content in seconds before moving back to his research. Evren hadn't lied, for the most part, though she severely underestimated herself. Herma Mora would confront her about that later, but he needed to work. He set the string on a table, keeping it always in his sight, but soon he became entranced by it.
"It's your choice, brother. Are you happy now?" he heard Mephala's cold voice echoing in his mind. He didn't answer, knowing it was merely their voice, not actually his sibling. He shuddered as the temperature plummeted, something which shouldn't have happened. When he looked back at the door, it was gone and instead of growing disturbed or curious, he became furious, violent.
"Let me go," he snarled.
"No. You're trapped here, always," the voice of a child spoke, the voice of the one he hated most: Vaermina. Hermaeus Mora wouldn't give her the satisfaction of such events and quickly retreated into his mind. The visions did not leave.
"Do you feel her driving you insane?" Vaermina snarled and Hermaeus Mora let out a low groan, squeezing his eye shut. Of course, that didn't help. He couldn't not see. He didn't want to see right now. "Does she make you aroused?"
Hermaeus Mora's eyes flew open and he gripped the leg of the table tightly, "actually no? I thought that much was clear, but say what you will. I don't understand why you would believe that, actually?"
The visions vanished and Hermaeus Mora relaxed. Does she make me aroused? No, I do not feel arousal so easily. That makes it sounds like she's ugly, though she isn't and no no no no, Hermaeus Mora stopped the road his thoughts were going down before they could truly begin. He thought a lot faster than he spoke, which confused him. He wanted to think slower to match his voice but the daedra have no voices.
Hermaeus Mora stopped that road as well, leaving the room and gripping the thread. He had an idea, though he would not be able to finish it.
Evren returned with new arrows, reporting to Sheogorath and receiving payment. Evren found Hermaeus Mora swiftly and he was already hiding what he was doing. Evren sighed, "watcha doin?"
"Math," he answered, casting an illusion spell that showed two spheres floating in front of them. Evren glared at is
"Explain," she snorted.
"That's here. That's Apocrypha," Hermaeus Mora pointed to the spheres, "I have made little progress on Nirn. I know how to slingshot myself back, using my bind to Apocrypha."
"Good. It matters more if you're trapped here or not than if I am, for the whole... political issue, that is," Evren frowned, grabbing the sphere that represented the Shivering Isles and began messing with it. "How bad is it?"
"Miserable," Hermaeus Mora admitted. Evren nodded. "I can often hear Vaermina mocking me."
"She probably is," Evren snorted, "but ye hate her already. Ya wouldn't be the first to mock your enemies and ya won't be the last. You've been tempted by the string, correct?"
"Yes," Herma Mora answered.
"Good," Evren smiled, shocking the Prince, "you're still somewhat yourself. Ya plan on leaving soon?"
"Tonight," he sighed and Evren swallowed her pain, looking away and sighing.
"Yeah, well... The sooner the better, eh?" Evren coughed and the giant eye turned to her.
"We'll see each other again soon. Until then, you have Sheogorath to keep you company," he sighed, "night is soon to fall. I have the materials I need."
"Than prepare. And if I can help, let me," Evren nodded.
"No," he muttered, tentacles wrapping around her. "There is one thing I am grateful to you for more than I thought I would be. Exterior meaning, and the ability to show my emotion. I'll let you know when I'm about to leave."
"Thank ya too," Evren smiled and closed her eyes, "I'm honored to call the, um... guardian of the unseen, knower of the unknown- according to yer dramatic self- my friend. My best, even."
"Farewell..." Hermaeus Mora spoke, hesitating, "friend."
"I'll leave ya to yer work now," Evren smiled and freed herself from his embrace. Evren found herself on the palace roof, grinning like a fool. That Hermaeus Mora himself called her a friend was so unexpected. Her smiles didn't last long, replaced by sorrow.
Evren hummed to herself, an old tune she could not forget, rendered even further off-pitch by her whimpers. Evren couldn't stand the thought of being trapped here alone. Evren had been alone for the longest of time and she hadn't liked it then, but it had been her choice. Now, her sole comfort was being ripped from her. Again. Evren stared down, shoving her thoughts aside and staring at the sky.
"Who am I?" she muttered, burying her face in her knees, "a queen?"
"I'm not the one who you'd be askin'," Sheogorath laughed from behind her.
"Leave me 'lone or I'll chuck ya from the rooftops," she growled, not looking up.
"Hmm nah," he perched beside her, "don't think ya can."
Why does it have to be ye that is he who comforts me?
"Everyone else is busy," Sheogorath shrugged and Evren jumped, glaring at him from the corner of her eye, "admittedly, I'm not tellin' no one of this. Don't want the old coot feelin' even more guilty. Maybe then he won't leave, and none of us can have that."
"Basically, you're here to suck it up?" Evren sighed, staring back at the sky again. She refused to cry before him.
"No. I'm tellin' you that for now, this'll be home. Best make the best of it. Denying it is what drives ya insane."
"Did ye deny it when ye became Sheogorath?" Evren asked.
"Yes. Sheogorath was never his own being. Jyggalag fought it. I fought it," he nodded, "now look how I turned out. I'm happy!"
"You're also a madman," Evren frowned.
"It's up to you whether or not you find that bad or not," he shrugged, "I am daedra now. Fool or not, I am smarter than the average human. Sometimes." Sheogorath disappeared and Evren nodded, smiling slightly. Not long after, Hermaeus Mora appeared and Evren felt his presence.
"Ya goin'?" she smiled slightly, her eyes still on the stars. She felt a drop running down her cheek and new it would soon be accompanied by another.
"Yes," he sighed, approaching from behind and wrapping a few tentacles around her from behind. Evren leaned back slightly and his eye hovered above her head as he found his own way to embrace her.
"Have ya made yer decision on the string?" Evren asked.
"I will use it. But not in the sense you believe," Hermaeus Mora sighed.
"So, in a way, ya love me," Evren smirked, "as friends... though ya did not know ye did."
"Indeed," he agreed, "will you accompany me then, back to my work?" Evren stood, slipping from his hold and nodding. Hermaeus Mora picked her up, helping her off the roof.
"I will be different when I return," he sighed, "part of the reason I accepted you, I think was because of the insanity. I won't go back on that, but I may not show it as much."
"I know. Calmer, like when I met ya," Evren nodded, walking beside the amorphous blob. They entered the room and Hermaeus Mora gripped a dark black and red sphere. "What's that?"
"A sigil stone," he looked over to her, lifting it up to his eye, "farewell then?"
"Farewell," Evren nodded and the sigil stone glowed a bright red, the glow tense and restraining itself, before it and he disappeared, "farewell, Love."
And to myself I write,
Yes, I have lost much, and this honestly has not been the worst. Nothing could compare to the loss of my parents and my home. But I moved past that through my travels. I found who I thought I was. I was also, for many parts, wrong. Hermaeus Mora, Demon of Knowledge, and my best friend since I was a young teen, is certainly the strangest company I could choose to keep. But Sheogorath is right. For now, this has to be home.
I just wish I still had Hermaeus Mora at my side. I'll wait until I hear from him to make any further assumptions, I hope. I do, however, have one thing to do here. After all, if this is to be my home, I must pay my rent. Perhaps I can confront my past. Yes, it has been a long time since I've written about that.