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Loki walked into the council room on the Ark, head aching, hoping to find Thor quickly and get things started for the day. He knew his brother had a lot on his plate, and he wanted to be prepared to help, should the need arise. Just his luck this day, he found the Valkyrie sitting slumped over the table, hung over from the previous night, or perhaps even currently drunk, and no Thor in sight.
“Brun, have you seen my brother?” he asked, distracted by the list of items he wanted to go over before court started up. He barely even heard her slink on over until she was directly in front of him, staring lewdly.
“I didn’t realize we were on a first name basis, your highness,” she grinned, slinging an arm around his shoulders. He looked down his nose at her, unamused by her antics and ready to move on. This annoyance wasn’t helping his headache in the least.
“I’m sorry, is there a more preferable name you would like me to call you?” He made another notation on his list for Thor before he closed his eyes, massaging between his eyebrows.
“You had fun last night.” The acerbic tone was back as she danced out of his reach, glancing over at him sidelong as he glared at her. “I never would have suspected, unless I hadn’t passed by your rooms last night.” She grinned. “Your own brother!” The Valkyrie bowed, making a vulgar gesture as she did so.
“You are mistaken,” he said flatly, feeling the panic rising in his own chest as he worked to tamp the anxiety down. Brunhilde laughed.
“‘Oh, brother! ’ ‘Yes!’ ‘Right there!’ ‘Please, Thor!’” she mimicked him from last night. His face colored as stomped over to her, enjoying the way his body dwarfed hers. “Loki and his brother, laying in bed, f-u-c-k-i-n-g,” she taunted him.
“Listen here you drunken harpy. There is nothing between Thor and I, and how dare you suggest such a perverse relation,” he hissed, unsure what to do about the situation. What he had with Thor was new, or at least newly rekindled. The pain in his head flared up at the lie he was weaving. “That you could make up such a scenario in your own head is so depraved, it makes it hard to believe they let you into the Valkyrior.” He turned from her, unsure if he could keep it together for his last statement. “I would sooner see Thor cursed to lap the juices of your quim for the rest of his life than let him anywhere near me in bed. That bumbling oaf probably doesn’t even know what to do with a cock,” he spat, storming from the room as she laughed behind him.
When he was safely outside, he clasped a hand over his mouth in shame, his eyes burning. It never felt good to deny how much he loved Thor. That instinct was deeply rooted in him from centuries of etiquette lessons on Asgard, to deny, as he would have when their parents were alive and Thor was meant to rule Asgard in the ways of old. The churning in his stomach intensified as he rushed towards his and Thor’s shared chambers. It was a new era for Asgard. He swallowed down the bile rising in his throat as he sprinted through the doors. This new era was unlike before. The people didn’t stand on ceremony so much, and things like one prince loving the other wouldn’t be as big a deal as it would have been in the Asgard of old.
Loki threw up into the sink, not able to make it any further, feeling ashamed of himself. He still worried about what their people might think of the incestuous relationship he carried on with his older brother, but he’d never denied Thor so vehemently in his heart before, well, not when he’d been in his right mind. And once he’d done it, he’d felt the need to purge the foul words from his body.
He stared at himself in the mirror, combating the full body shaking as his pulse beat against his skull, raging painfully through his brain. This was a horrible day for this, he berated himself, placing a cooling spell over his eyes as he stumbled towards the bed.
The Ark was a naturally cold place to live. Metal, out in space, with no way to create fire in the enclosed area. There was a heating system, sure, and a way to cool down the metal box a few thousand bodies floated in, but it was artificial. It groaned and clanked, gears churning and whirling around as the engine worked to carry them to their destination. The constant churning and whirling and ever present noise was now his head, eating away at him, a constant buzz when he just needed a moment of peace.
Since they’d started on their journey, Loki had not once turned off all the lights in their room as they slept, and Thor had never questioned him on it. He was worried the pitch black, combined with the false gravity of the ship would give him too many nightmares of falling through the void. It was so similar to what they were doing in space, after all, but the lights helped distract him, kept him from forging that full connection. Right now, the pain was driving a spike through his brain and he had no choice. His hand shook as an uncomfortable weight settled in his stomach, but he extinguished the last light, regardless, and quickly stumbled towards the bed, a silencing spell cast around the room. He felt better, marginally, but enough. It was silent as a grave, so dark he could not even see his hand in front of him.
Loki collapsed onto the bed, curling around his upset stomach. If he were still enough, curled up tight enough, the nausea wouldn’t be as bad. At least something was distracting the panicked flutterings of his heart. He took deep lungfuls of air with every wave of unease, tricking his body into thinking everything was fine and he didn’t need to hurl his guts again. Why did there have to be a full session of court and a council meeting today? He was supposed to be there. Helping Thor, planning with the other advisers his brother had chosen…..being cooperative. He loved and hated it at the same time. Currently, there was no hope of Loki making it out of the bed, not after he’d burrowed himself so deeply in it. He wished his brother were here, comforting his aching body instead of caring for the concerns of their people. He wasn’t usually one to sleep with many blankets, and now he’d piled all of them on top of his body as he curled up like a serpent, soaking up the heat.
With barely another thought, he vanished the heavy leathers from his body, leaving himself in his soft cotton tunic and linen underthings as he poked his head out from underneath the blankets. His body was cold, and his head was on fire. He nearly tried to encase it in a block of ice, deeming slow suffocation and frostbite better than the current torture. Loki clenched his ab muscles tightly as another wave coursed through him. He put his warmer hands on the cold skin of stomach and breathed in, holding his breath. When he let it out, he moaned for Thor. Thor’s touch was healing. He longed for his warmth, for the hands that always seemed to know just what Loki needed.
Why did he have to work himself up into such a state, over a ridiculous argument? Why did the Valkyrie even care what he and Thor did in private? Did she really have to say anything to him about it at all? Just because he was acting like some lovesick lap dog in private didn’t mean she had to tease him about it in public. It was cruel and unseemly. And how did she even know, anyways? No one got to see Loki’s soft side, save Thor. No one. And anyways, it was almost impossible to let his guard down these days, after Thanos, after the Grandmaster. He knew Thor suspected something was wrong between them, but Loki wasn’t ready. His mind was still in that panic-y fight or flight stage, constantly on edge, even when he tried to relax. It had taken weeks before he’d finally felt ok in Thor’s arms. Before they stopped feeling like a prison and started feeling like home.
Thor wasn’t the most patient of men, either. He preferred a hard initial attack to wear you down enough to confess what was going on. It made Loki nervous and jumpy around him, waiting for the next time Thor would press about what was wrong, beat against the bathroom door and beg Loki to talk to him. But Loki knew, when Thor found the initial attack unsuccessful, he was the most patient person in all the nine realms. He would wait for Loki to be ready, and they were right on the cusp of that. Valkyrie must have picked up on Thor’s recent weariness and blamed him, when it truth, his brother did it to himself.
Loki panted through another wave of nausea, clenching his stomach as the door snicked open.
“Loki!” Thor hissed, disturbing his slow death with sound and bright light. He whined, pulling the blankets to cover his face as he heard the door close. There was a crash, a chair falling to the floor as Thor cursed. “I can’t even see my feet in front of me,” he mumbled to himself. “Brother,” Thor whispered, loudly, as was his fashion, finally finding his way to the bed and grabbing a hold of one of Loki’s legs. “What is the matter with you?”
“Go away Thor,” he mumbled, his voice muffled under the layers of blankets. It was a blessing his brother couldn’t see him, for he felt ready to burst, and Thor’s worried face would be the killing blow.
“No.”
Loki tightened underneath his hand, drawing in another deep breath.
“You are ill.” And suddenly blankets were being tossed off him as Thor searched through the layers for Loki.
“It’s just a migraine. It will pass.” Loki moaned when Thor’s fingers finally alighted upon him. His head had turned to mush as soon as Thor’s talented fingers started massaging his calf, uncurling his legs from his body and turning Loki onto his back. “No, no,” he whined, rubbing his stomach as it protested the movement. He panted a little quicker then, being mindful of the breath moving through his body, using it as a tool to keep the unsettled feelings at bay as Thor’s hands moved to do something to his feet. His thumbs swirled around Loki’s big toes and somehow, the nausea started to dissipate.
“Let me take care of you little brother.” He felt Thor’s lips on the top of his foot and with one final shudder, he let go. Thor wasn’t Thanos. He wouldn’t hurt him. And he wasn’t out to use him like the Grandmaster. Thor was love and care and home, and he could give this to him. His brother’s hands stilled on him a moment, sensing the shift in Loki, before taking up their task again with renewed vigor. “We’ll get you fighting fit again, and you can scream at me all you like later. Tell everyone how much we aren’t together. It’s OK, Loki.”
Tears slipped from his eyes, silent as the room around him. Thor knew. He knew , and still he took care of him. The longer Thor did that trick with his thumbs, the better he felt, and it was the first time in two hours he could relax his posture. Thor moved then, startling Loki with their change in position. His warm head came to rest on Loki’s stomach his fingers dragged up to massage Loki’s calves again. “Are you feeling any better?” Thor asked, pressing a warm kiss to his belly.
“A little,” he mumbled. In truth, Thor’s warm weight on his belly was doing wonders for him, easing his body into relaxing further and further with Thor’s familiar energy. His head was still throbbing, but he was feeling less nauseous, less like he shouldn’t get up or move. Slowly, Thor pulled his linen smallclothes down, exposing him to the air in the cabin. “Thor, what…”
His brother’s hands moved up, massaging his thighs before meeting his destination. He dug in deep, working the muscles around his tailbone, alleviating the pain he’d had in his low back for months. It wasn’t particularly pleasurable, but it felt so good to feel the pain disappearing, after long last. “Is this alright?” Thor asked, as Loki moaned, a large knot breaking free from his muscles.
“How do you know just how to fix me?” he murmured, stroking his hands through Thor’s hair. It was the first time he’d touched Thor since he’d bumbled into the room, and his brother jumped, clearly not expecting the affectionate touch right now. He scratched slow circles along Thor’s scalp, enjoying the vibrations along his skin from Thor’s little hums of pleasure.
“I know you,” Thor smiled against his skin. “My hands have mapped your body too many times to count, and when I reach for you, I simply know.”
“You always know,” he whispered as Thor unexpectedly slipped his cock into his mouth, sucking hard. This clearly wasn’t for play.. His brother’s movements were quick and methodical, focused not on savoring or pleasure, but focused only on Loki’s release. His body tightened up again as the pleasurable sensations coursed through him. Once again, Thor seemed to know just what his body needed. The pounding in his head was still unbearable, but it edged off, just a little bit, with each bob of Thor’s throat.
He was panting for an entirely different reason as he gripped Thor’s hair tightly in his fists. The tongue sliding up and down the vein on the underside of his cock felt so sinful. A slick slide up and down as Thor’s hands massaged his low back and the tight band of his hips. “Brother,” he whined, feeling his balls draw up tight against him. Thor’s thumbs dug painfully into his hips as he released into his older brother’s mouth. It was a feeling of immediate relief; endorphins flooded his system as another knot broke free from his tired muscles.
His chest heaved as Thor gently eased his smallclothes back on and climbed further up his body, leaving little kisses along his abdomen and chest, his hands continuing to assault and massage every inch of available flesh. By the time he reached the base of Loki’s skull, he was a boneless mess, pressed down heavily into the mattress with the weight of his brother’s body. “How now, little Loki?” Thor kissed his temple. He’d used one of Loki’s childhood nicknames, and it made him smile.
“Well, I’m not nauseous anymore,” he croaked, nuzzling his cheek against Thor’s. “My headache does feel better,” Loki admitted. It was less of a roar, at least. Thor placed a quick kiss to his lips, then sat up, patting around in the dark. “What are you doing?” Loki ran a hand down Thor’s side, feeling like he might actually be able to fall asleep with the pulsating beat in his head not as merciless as before.
“I’m looking for that nice body oil. The therapeutic one that you rub on your eyes and temples before you go to bed sometimes.” A jar of something fell to the floor as Thor found the nightstand.
Loki flushed. He hadn’t realized Thor had paid that much attention to his nighttime rituals. He drew Thor’s hand back and conjured a jar for him. “Here,” he quivered, already anticipating a soothing facial or maybe a neck massage with the tingly salve. It was something he’d created for himself shortly after he started playing as the Allfather all those years ago. It calmed his mind and helped him sleep. The soothing lavender and bergamot, the sharp rosemary, and just a trace of mint. It was perfect.
“Thank you.” Thor opened the jar and let the scent perfume the air for a little while before Loki heard him rubbing the ointment between his hands. “Alright, let’s get you sitting,” Thor encouraged, nudging Loki up with his knee. The younger god complied, turning and leaning back against Thor, so they were ensconced, back to front.
Thor’s arms wound underneath his, holding his strongly scented hands before Loki’s nose for him to breath in. Once again, he was reminded of just how safe Thor could make him feel as he placed his own hands on Thor’s forearms. He melted back against the warmth of his older brother’s body and breathed in deep.
“Are you OK with all the lights off?” Thor asked, placing an open mouthed kiss along his right shoulder.
“It hurt too much with them on earlier,” he sighed, as Thor slid his hands up to massage his temples. Once again, it felt amazing.
Thor hummed. “You didn’t answer my question,” he reminded Loki, placing another kiss on his other shoulder. He rolled his eyes, but the movement hurt and he shut them very quickly.
“It isn’t any different than when I close my eyes, Thor,” he grumbled.
Thor’s fingers swept down over his lids, moving in gentle, light touches along his eyes. “I think we both know this isn’t the case, Loki.”
He took in a deep breath, squeezing Thor’s forearm a little tighter with his left hand before releasing it.
“I am fine.” And in truth, he was doing rather well. Before, he’d felt too terrible to be truly bothered by the dark, and now, with Thor’s body surrounding him, his smell and warmth permeating his senses, he found it was tolerable. Thor’s hands moved up, massaging his scalp as he let out a rather embarrassing moan.
Thor chuckled. “I’m that good, am I?” he jeered. Loki elbowed him, blushing furiously. When the tingling sensation started up along his scalp, he breathed in with relief. It was cooling, fighting against the hot, pervasive pressure in his skull.
“Thor,” he moaned again, panting with each press of Thor’s fingers. It felt like he’d taken his heart and gently squeezed until it had quieted down inside his body. He could no longer feel the drum beat in his toes. “Thank you,” he sniffed, feeling suddenly overwhelmed by the care his brother had taken with him. Thor had a full day scheduled, and he’d canceled a good portion of it for him. His whole body shivered as Thor rubbed deep soothing circles into the base of his skull, moving up behind his ears, especially, before holding onto his earlobes for a minute.
Loki turned around in Thor’s arms, straddling his waist as he tucked his head against Thor’s shoulder and wrapped his arms around his large torso. Thor’s lips pressed against the top of his head as he started to hum an old lullaby to him. By the time Thor started using long sweeping strokes against his sinuses, he was ready to fall asleep.
“How now, little Loki?”
The younger god smiled even bigger than before as he buried his face against Thor’s chest. Somehow, he felt so small in Thor’s arms. “I’m tired.” He breathed in deeply, drawing in the comforting smell of the oils and Thor’s own unique scent. “I can’t believe you dropped everything just to take care of me,” he mumbled.
Thor did another sweep with his hands dragging his fingers from the base of his skull to his forehead. “You’re more important to me than some dumb meetings,” he revealed. “And our people will survive a day without court. Besides, they can easily go to any of the others for help in an emergency.”
A few tears fell from Loki’s eyes. He wasn’t prepared for this, for Thor’s sweetness. He wasn’t ready to talk about why he needed the lights on, or why it was difficult to be vulnerable, why he felt in a constant state of panic. If he held on a little tighter to Thor, a little more desperately, well, no one would know but them, he supposed. Thor rubbed down his back as Loki sniffled. He didn’t say a word, didn’t need to, as he stripped off Loki’s cotton tunic and linen undershirt. He said nothing as Loki held his palms against his eyes, one lone wail breaking free from his mouth. Thor just continued humming the lullaby as he put his hands under Loki’s backside and stood up.
His legs dangled ridiculously around Thor’s hips. “You’re so light,” Thor commented. It wasn’t true, but he supposed, to someone with Thor’s plentiful physique, it might be. “Can you light a path to the bathroom?” he requested, waiting for Loki to compose himself.
It wasn’t just a light he turned on. Instead, he transformed the entire floor to be covered by small bioluminescent plants, creating a soft blue and green glow around them. “There you are,” Thor smiled brightly, swiping a stray tear from Loki’s face with his thumb as he walked forward, watching with wonder as the plants grew wherever he stepped. When they reached the bathroom, Thor turned the water on in their generously-sized shower, making sure it would be warm enough. “This’ll make you feel even better, I promise, and then you should get some rest. Cut yourself a break.”
Loki stood awkwardly near the shower, watching Thor undress before he remembered he was still wearing his own smallclothes. He stripped them off, standing bare and shivering as they waited for the water to heat. For once, Thor actually picked his clothes up off the floor and folded them in a neat pile before depositing them on top of the sink countertop.
“I know it bothers you,” he winked, feeling the water briefly before tugging Loki in after him.
The light wasn’t as bright in here, the plants having been contained mostly to the bedroom, so he added some creeping vines with little witch lights growing out of them for Thor to see. Loki closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around Thor’s waist, truly letting himself be cared for for the first time in a long time.
“Brunhilde wanted me to tell you she regretted what she said earlier and that she’s sorry.” The words made him panic once more. Just how much had the Valkyrie told Thor? DId his brother all the awful things he’d said?
“I do love you,” he spluttered, letting the water do battle against the pain in his head. His hold tightened on Thor as he felt a desperate need to ensure his brother wasn’t going anywhere.
“Oh Loki.” Thor smoothed his hand down Loki’s long, wet locks, returning to his ministrations from before and massaging his temples. “I know, brother.” He tilted Loki’s face up to the spray of the water, kissing the little rivers that ran down his neck. It felt good to be underneath the warm waterfall, dispelling the lingering aches and pains in his body.
Thor hummed his little lullaby again as he soaped up Loki’s hair and massaged his scalp a second time that night. Loki sighed in pleasure, feeling the tension start to finally drain out of him.
“It’s alright if you want to keep this between us, still.”
When Thor was finished, he tipped Loki’s head back underneath the water, washing the shampoo from his hair. It was like a rebirth standing underneath the toasty downpour, and his heart flowed out with it.
“It’s not that.” He laid his head on Thor’s shoulder, still clinging tightly to his body. “But we haven’t really talked about it, and I panicked.” He breathed in against his brother’s wet skin, calming even further. “And the things she said...I’m just not ready to hear,” he confessed.
Thor picked up his favorite hair creme, the one that smelled of rosemary and mint, popping open the cap and pouring some into his hand before returning it to the shelf of products. He smeared it around his hands, working it through Loki’s hair, tips to roots. Thor took great care about his job, and it surprised him how informed his brother was.
Thor pulled him away from the spray, crowding him against one of the shower walls as he let the creme sink in to the inky strands. “We should talk about it,” he suggested, kissing behind Loki’s ear before soaping up his hands. “But when you’re feeling better. When you’re ready.” Thor’s showering technique was usually very slap dash, now that his locks had been shorn off. A little shampoo, rub-a-dub-dub, rinse. Sometimes he’d stick a little of the jasmine creme rinse in, when he was feeling decadent. It was Loki’s second favorite scent, and he liked to think that was the reason Thor used it.
He shivered, watching Thor take care of his own needs with fast efficiency before he returned to Loki’s side, warm soapy hands gliding over his body. It smelled of delicate citrus fruits and ginger, the fresh, spicy scent invading his senses. The ginger in the soap was warming on his skin as Thor’s fist came to grasp his cock, stripping him again with quick, methodical strokes. “Thor…” Loki squeezed his eyes shut, feeling his cock fill again as his big brother took care of him in the best of ways.
“You’re doing so good little brother,” Thor coached him, lengthening his strokes as Loki filled in his hand. The soap helped make everything slipperier as Thor’s hands passed up and down his length.
“Oh.” Loki’s hands scrabbled against the smooth tile.
“One more time, I think.” Thor kissed him, swallowing the moans tumbling from his throat.
“Oh.”
Thor put his mouth right next to Loki’s ear. By this point, his headache was feeling very muted. “You can be good for me, can’t you?” he whispered sinfully into Loki’s ear.
“Uh...uh...oh…” His cock erupted, seed spilling over Thor’s soapy hand as he slumped against the shower wall. It was almost shameful how quickly he came, but that was rather the point, in this case.
“Ok,” Thor smiled. “Ok.” He pulled Loki under the shower spray, then held on to his slack form, gently rocking him while Loki continued to twitch with little aftershocks.
“Have you considered going into medicine?” he moaned. “I think you might be really good at it.”
Thor laughed, his chest and belly shaking against Loki’s. It made him smile to know he could bring Thor some fun, still. “I’ll keep that in mind.” He massaged Loki’s scalp one final time as he rid his raven locks of the silky conditioner, then made sure the rest of the soap was clear from his skin before looking into Loki’s eyes. “How now little Loki?” he smiled, kissing the younger’s nose.
Loki wrinkled his nose in distaste. It was a saccharine gesture, something Thor was prone to, a little too sentimental. “I don’t know. I think I need some more time to recharge,” he lamented. “And probably need to stay in bed for dinner, as well.” Thor turned off the water and carried him to the dry tile outside the shower, grabbing a towel, which Loki warmed with his magic.
“In truth, brother, are you feeling alright?” Thor worried, pressing the warm cloth to Loki’s body as he dried him off.
He looked down at his feet, just before Thor kneeled to dry his legs. “Yes,” he whispered, magicing another warm towel to his hands to dry Thor’s hair. “Thank you, big brother.” He leaned down, placing a kiss on the top of Thor’s head, enjoying the flush that showed on Thor’s cheeks. “You take the best care of me, always.”
A little smirk curled around Thor’s lips as Loki draped the warm towel around him like a cape.
***
Later that night, his head pillowed one of Thor’s strong arms, completely encircled by his brother’s warm form, he endeavored, hard, to open up.
“I know you’ve been pushing hard, Thor,” he whispered, not sure if the blond was still awake. “I just need more time.” His body shook minutely, the memories liking to haunt him more at night than during the day. His headache had disappeared after the first nap he’d taken with his brother and waking had felt like a resurrection. The little luminescent plants surrounded their bed still, a beautiful soft glow to remind him of where he was whenever he awoke.
“I know,” Thor whispered back, surprising him a little as warm lips pressed into the back of his neck. “Just know I’m here.” Loki shivered against him. That had been the start of all this, the ‘I’m here,’ after the destruction of Asgard. A reassurance to Thor that things had changed, that he had changed. And now here his brother was, giving him reassurances in return. He shifted on the bed to turn and face Thor, burying is face in his brother’s warm, bare chest and he clasped his arms tightly around him. He wasn’t ready now. But he knew he would be.