Work Text:
Jace stared at the content of the package with something akin to horror on his face.
“What is that even?” He looked up at Simon again. “Some sort of sexy Halloween costume?”
“Dude.” Simon lifted one finger. “Dude! Have I taught you nothing!”
“You taught me how to blow,” Jace gave back with his trademark smirk. It had the desired effect and threw Simon sufficiently off track.
Opening and closing his mouth, Simon still pointed at Jace, until after about twenty seconds, he curled the finger in and snapped his mouth shut.
“Dude,” he said again. “Nice move.”
“Thanks. Working on it.” Jace crossed his arms. “I’m still not wearing that, whatever this is.”
“Underwear,” Simon said, and produced another package from his shopping bag. “See, I got one too!”
“Underwear?” Jace dropped his arms. “What is the point of underwear like that when you can’t see it?”
“You see me in my underwear plenty of times.” Simon smiled brightly.
“Yeah, and I have no reason to complain. So why change that with...” he gestured helplessly at the packaged underwear, “...this?”
“This,” Simon said pointedly, “isn’t just any underwear. It’s the pinnacle of fandom feel-good products.”
Simon flashed Jace his brightest grin. Jace stared back and slowly, crossed his arms again.
“Say what?”
Simon deflated and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Dude. Dude...” He took a deep breath. “These aren’t regular undies. These are...” and he grinned again, “underoos!”
Jace didn’t move, but slowly cocked one eyebrow.
“Come on, dude, have you honestly never... you know what, never mind. You’re a Shadowhunter, of course you don’t know what underoos are.”
“And... what are they? What makes them so... special?”
“Okay, first: They used to come only in kids size. But now they do them in adult size too! And you can buy Harry Potter, TMNT, Star Wars...”
“Isn’t Star Wards that movie with the spaceships you are so crazy about?”
“Star Wars.” Simon pointed at Jace again. “Yes, that’s the one with the spaceships and robots, and the death star, and Darth Vader!” He did a less than impressive impersonation of the Vader-breathing, holding his hollowed out hands in front of his mouth. “I AM YOUR FATHER LUKE!”
Jace slowly shook his head and looked at the underwear again, and dropping his hands, Simon walked back to the table.
“So, you see, after we watched those movies together, I thought...”
“You watched them, Si. I was more interested in your-”
“Yes, I remember!” Simon grinned even brighter. “That was the first time I didn’t watch the scene where the death star exploded.”
“Yeah, there were other things exploding, all right,” Jace said with a smirk and a chuckle.
“Not that I didn’t enjoy that, but anyway, so I bought these, for the next time we watch Star Wars!”
“We’re going to watch that again?” Jace tilted his head.
“What do you mean? You only watched it twice!”
“Isn’t that enough?” Jace asked hesitantly.
“Enough, he says.” Simon looked as if he would need a fainting couch any moment. “This is Star Wars! The mother of all science fiction movies!”
“Well, yeah, all right.” Jace dropped his arms again. “I get it. It’s your favourite movie. So, what about that... underwear?”
“So, I bought two,” Simon explained excitedly, again. “That one’s for me, and that one’s for you.”
Jace shook his head with the facial expression of I can’t believe I’m doing this and unpacked the set of underwear. It was orange with a technical design on the front of the shirt. Simon’s was brown with a banderol across the torso.
“You’re Luke Skywalker!” Simon pulled the shirt over his head despite the fact he was still wearing a T-shirt. “And I’m Chewbacca! Uuurrrghhh!!”
Jace looked at the underoos, at Simon, back at the underoos, and back at Simon again. Simon’s smile and his shiny eyes had buttered Jace up more than once, and this time was no exception.
“Okay, I’ll wear them for the next Star Wards movie. Under one condition.” He stepped closer to Simon.
“Uh... okay?”
Jace leaned close enough his breath was grazing Simon’s ear as he whispered, “You take them off again.”
Simon froze, but after a moment he blinked, and slowly looked at Jace again, slinging his arm around Jace’s neck. “Sure. That can be arranged.”
Jace gave him a slow, low-lidded smile.
“But not during the death star scene.”
“It’s a deal.” Jace dropped the underwear onto the table. “Where’s the DVD?”
Simon almost fell over his own feet in his haste to get the DVD player started.