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Lang Qianqiu locked the door of his apartment, dropping his very light coat onto the unseen coat rack before turning to the dark kitchen that was illuminated by the many shades of red and black lights coming from the living room. The soft snores resounding and the drip-drip of water made him exhale in a slightly annoyed manner, but it was swept away as quickly as it came.
He sighed knowingly, but not without his devoted smile.
After shimmying off his formal brown shoes onto the mat, he tiptoed onto the kitchen floor. Resting two fingers on the table faintly outlined in white, he set down his suitcase as quietly as possible then spun on his heel, padding into the room alight with cursing, screaming, and a body finally touched by tranquility.
Lang Qianqiu let out an amused noise at the episode of Hell’s Kitchen playing on the TV. He averted his hazel eyes to the unraveling of a blanket and the dull groan on the couch beside him, quickly catching the glint of an emerald earring shaped into a hanging teardrop and caught the head about to slip off the armrest.
“Da…” White scars gleamed and crisscrossed thin, pale arms, almost hitting Lang Qianqiu on the nose if he hadn’t leaned back. “...Ah, whad da fuck…”
Lang Qianqiu let his fingers linger in the bird’s nest of dark brown hair before gingerly brushing away the shorter strands hanging above slitted eyes, the person owning them whining and moaning about interrupted sleep, hands clawing aimlessly at the air.
Lang Qianqiu breathed out an exhausted sigh. “Wake up…”
Obstinate green eyes snapped open, pupils shrinking in stunned recognition throughout the darkness. The corners of thin lips turned up in a strange smile, one that was unsure of one’s self and maybe slightly terrified.
“I swear I haven’t been smokin’ some weed but this has got to be some fuckin’ dream or else ‘cause I’m gonna cry.”
“Qi Rong,” Lang Qianqiu called out in a slightly strained voice, resisting the urge to cuff him playfully. Qi Rong yawned widely without even bothering with manners, the man above him shaking his head with the beginnings of a furrow between his eyebrows, but settled in wiping the tear slipping out the corner of one green eye.
“I thought ya wouldn’t be here this year,” Qi Rong mumbled. He looked indignantly up at the TV and then back at Lang Qianqiu. “Took so fuckin’ long, you know. Keepin’ my ass waiting all night, I don’t know when the stupid festival stops.”
“It’s not even midnight,” Lang Qianqiu replied slowly, muffling the start of Qi Rong’s rant with a quick peck on the older’s lips. He murmured against his mouth, “And I promised to be back.”
“First time,” Qi Rong snorted, pushing his boyfriend’s face away. He sat up on the couch, leaning against Lang Qianqiu for support. “Also the first time you kept to your promise.”
“Yeah…”
“Go get your fucking lantern, then.”
Lang Qianqiu complied, letting Qi Rong’s head drop and leisurely made his way to their bedroom. He swiped blindly at his desk for two items before returning to the kitchen to get the candle lighter. When he came back into the living room, Qi Rong was donning a dark gray sweater, peering nervously over the couch.
Without a word, Lang Qianqiu easily picked the smaller man up with the autumn leaf-patterned blanket still tangled in between his legs. Lang Qianqiu slid the sliding door open to the balcony with one foot, welcoming the bitter bite of the coming winter. Still holding his boyfriend in his large hands, he lifted his head, a sudden onslaught of wind pushing back his golden-brown hair so he could see the gorgeous fiery lights in the distance.
“Beautiful, right?” Qi Rong commented, looking up at him with a conceited twinkle in his sharp eyes as if he orchestrated the Mid-Autumn Festival. Turning his head back to the hazy scenery, he rasped, “Must’ve looked pretty shitty out of an office window, huh, Qianqiu?”
Below and even from afar, Lang Qianqiu could hear the laughter of children painting dragons and other mythical creatures on lanterns, running around, purchasing and snacking on mooncakes one after another till they could feel the sugar running through their veins. High up in the air, there were rows upon rows of rainbow-colored lanterns strung together, and above them boomed and sparkled motifs of red suns, white peonies, blue clouds, purples lotuses, and the heads of numerous beasts, bringing about screams of excitement and many more fireworks to be launched off. Countless lit lanterns cascaded high into the sky, dimming out of sight behind the grey clouds, and a soft, nostalgic sigh escaped a man relieved to finally be home.
He could picture the scolding but escaping chuckles of adults all around, the parents lifting their children into the air, watching with pride as little hands let go of a wish they prayed would be fulfilled. He could feel two pairs of arms wrapping around him, holding him close and kissing his forehead, praising his choice of choosing his family over anything else, only praying that he would be with his family forever.
An unnatural laugh escaped him.
How true it was.
“Do you know what I wished for?” Qi Rong asked quietly, winding a lock of Lang Qianqiu’s hair around his finger without meeting his gaze.
“What?”
“Xie Lian to always be happy, wherever he is up there.” Qi Rong looked up at the sky, his lips pressed tightly together, and said simply, “I miss him.”
Lang Qianqiu tilted his head slightly at his boyfriend that looked just like the man who strived to make the world a better place for everyone, who never judged a single soul and wished to always be allowed to walk around the world in open arms before his breath was taken away by illness.
He missed him too.
Xie Lian was impossible to miss.
“Whatcha wishing for?”
Lang Qianqiu set Qi Rong down on his own two feet similar to a person unable to hold tightly onto a slippery eel and held the lantern in front of his face. As he uncapped a marker from his pocket and began writing on the paper surface, Qi Rong stood on his tippy toes, trying to peep at the characters without slamming right into the man’s chest. Though he didn’t get to see the wish, his eyes were filled with childish awe as Lang Qianqiu lit the inside of the lantern, reaching out a hand to follow it into the air till it floated all on its own.
As it floated upwards, becoming an orange dot framed against the navy blue sky, Qi Rong repeated, “What’d ya wish for, Qianqiu?”
The man in question watched his lantern flicker out of sight before saying something inaudible. Qi Rong stepped as hard as he could on Lang Qianqiu’s foot with his own bare foot and said irritably, “Oi, speak the fuck up, will you?”
Lang Qianqiu ignored him in favor of ruffling his unruly brown hair, initiating a battle of who can mess up each other’s hair the most which ended up in Lang Qianqiu’s arms holding Qi Rong firmly down by the waist and the latter slapping his face repeatedly while standing on his toes.
“You’re annoying,” Lang Qianqiu stated, stretching his neck as high as he could to avoid another slap while riding the blanket upon Qi Rong’s shivering shoulders.
“Like you’re any better!” Qi Rong retorted. He flinched when Lang Qianqiu brought his fingers close to his ears and pinched at his emerald earrings, causing him to stand down and plant his palms firmly on the taller’s chest in resignment.
“Family.”
Qi Rong looked up again. “Huh?” When his boyfriend kept staring up at the sky, Qi Rong scratched his head and said hoarsely, “Don’t ignore your elders, Qianqiu.”
“You’re a year older.”
“Same shit.”
“I don’t get you sometimes,” Lang Qianqiu breathed, but the hold on Qi Rong’s waist tightened as another firework launched into the sky. “Family.”
“I heard your dumb ass,” Qi Rong said scathingly, hooking his arms around his boyfriend’s neck, forcing the other to look straight down at him. “Tell me what you mean.”
“I wish that no one will ever be separated from their family in the harshest ways.” Lang Qianqiu pushed a lock of dark hair back behind Qi Rong’s ears with a calm smile. “It’s self-explanatory.” He stole a kiss to pause his boyfriend’s annoyed reply, falling silent as the wind bit his neck.
“It’s not,” Qi Rong mumbled. “Very fucking specific.” He tossed his head, cheering inwardly as his hair slapped the taller man’s face. “Typical of you.”
“What if I told you that the wish is mainly for me,” Lang Qianqiu said huskily, “and that I don’t ever want to separate from you? ”
Qi Rong met his eyes and immediately flicked them back down, releasing one of his arms around the taller man’s neck in favor of raising his sweater over the lower half of his face. He looked away when Lang Qianqiu pulled it right back down, feeling heat creep over his cheeks.
“Cheesy fucker…”
But he didn’t flee as he would’ve done years ago, taking the tiny kisses Lang Qianqiu planted on his neck and felt himself coming closer to saying that I deserve this, and no one can say any different.
There were no more tears to shed for the sanity he had lost when his aunt and uncle died; when Xie Lian passed with a smile he would never get to see again but only in dreams and old photos, and it left his heart full.
It may be that this was only one Mid-Autumn Festival night he would spend with Lang Qianqiu when work didn't separate them, but he would remember it, as long as life stayed the same as it always did.
~
"You're doing so well, Qi Rong!"
Hands wrapped tightly in bandages smoothed away the tears on a boy's youthful face. Warm, aged brown eyes curved into affectionate crescents as sobs echoed throughout the hospital room. A brown ponytail whipped away, walking behind the blue curtain, and a man with long silver hair followed right behind, a hand covering his face at all times as his shoulders racked.
"I-I c-c... I c-can't be!"
The man in the hospital bed smiled knowingly, dropping his hand. "And why is that?"
"I-If you're n-not doing so well, t-then... t-then... why sh-should I-"
"I don't rule your life, and you don't rule mine." The man on the hospital bed looked past his little cousin and at the open door where many people were waiting, inhaling their tears, unwishing to break this moment between true family. "I'm happy you've found someone who loves you as much as San Lang loves me.
"I'm so happy for you, Qi Rong."
The man leaned back on his pillow, gripping the hand of a man with a red string tied to his finger that curled and uncurled, his face buried in his lap. The man petted the head of silky black hair, his smile never leaving his face, no matter how heavy sorrow weighed down his fracturing heart.
What did Wei Ying say? Always smile, even if it hurts? Even if it hurts everyone you love?
It sounded ridiculous in his head but it was the best he could do; the only thing he could think of.
He looked at the tear-stained faces of his many friends; Shi Qingxuan and He Xuan, unable to tear their eyes away; Mei Nianqing and Jun Wu, his teachers and friends, who were forcing each other to stand back; Yushi Huang and Pei Ming, who still looked uncertain to be called here, and settled for staring down at their feet.
Ling Wen, Pei Su, Ban Yue, Quan Yizhen, Jian Lan....
Taking no note of the quickening sound of beeping, he sat straight up and pulled his cousin closer to him, pressing a kiss right onto his hair, letting his tears finally fall.
"We're so proud of you, Rong-er..." He inhaled shakily, smiling as he released one sob.
That was the moment when everyone let go of everything they were holding together, but Xie Lian never let go.
"Everyone is so proud..."
~
“Are you crying? "
Qi Rong roughly wiped his eyes and said scratchily, “No one’s fucking crying, you blind-”
“Geez,” Lang Qianqiu sighed, cleaning Qi Rong’s scarlet face with the blanket. Without the smaller man looking, he hastily wiped at his own wet eyes. “It’s not a crime to be crying.”
They said nothing to each other afterward, but the gentle rubbing on Qi Rong’s back and the hands that stayed wrung around Lang Qianqiu’s neck didn’t part for the rest of the lantern-filled night.