Archive of Our Own ^beta

Ricky isn’t sure when it all started. He knows when he realized what happened. But not when it actually happened. In his third year of high school, he’d like to assume that he’s well aware of his own feelings at all times. Though as luck would have it, it’s quite the opposite.

Maybe the feelings started when Ricky noticed his apparently now “ex” girlfriend entangled in the arms of a significantly taller senior that he recognized from previous years. Everyone knew EJ Caswell. It was honestly something that EJ took offense to if even one person in the school didn’t know his name. Ricky was pretty sure that it hadn’t started here though. Sure, Ricky had started paying more attention to Nini’s boyfriend after the cafeteria encounter (that wasn’t even really an encounter, Ricky just happened to glance in their direction because EJ’s crowd was extremely loud). This sparked a sort of obsession with EJ Caswell, but Ricky had to admit that his feelings for EJ had been extremely negative at the start, rather than positive and full of adoration.

Somewhere along the line, the feelings ended up shifting from an intense hatred to something that was the polar opposite of that. It was difficult for Ricky to pinpoint exactly when those feelings had shifted and that’s what frustrated him so much.

“Hey, Red?” questioned Ricky one rainy afternoon after school.

Ricky was just watching Red play video games in Red’s basement, a common occurrence nowadays because Ricky could no longer stand the sight of his own house. Sensing the urgency in his best friend’s voice, Red immediately paused the game and set his controller gently down on the ground like it was his baby. Knowing Ricky, his tone could’ve meant anything. He could’ve been worried about Nini, his parents, the stress over the upcoming musical—

“—how do I figure out the exact moment when I realized that I like someone?”

Oh, so it was Nini struggles again. Red definitely sympathized with his best friend but some part of him wondered why Ricky was still so stuck up on Nini when she had been the one to assume that their break was a full on break-up. Still, he was willing to help Ricky for a million hours in the safe haven that was Red’s basement, as long as it made him feel better.

“Well,” started out Red, “I would probably think about what made you first ask her out. You know, think about what made you want to even ask Nini on a date in the first place. Was it something she said in class, the way she dressed on a certain day? Like, for me, I realized that I liked Ash when she made me feel better about the whole lighting gig that Miss Jenn pushed me into on that one day in rehearsal.”

Ricky chuckled a bit at the mention of EJ’s younger cousin. Big Red’s crush on the other redhead in the High School Musical cast was no secret to him. It was something Ricky had been trusted with knowing a long time ago. That wasn’t the only thing that made him laugh though. He knew Red meant no harm by the assumption but he felt obligated to correct him, hardly thinking about how important this next disclosure was.

“It’s not Nini,” smiled Ricky.

Red smiled back immediately. Still grinning with a goofy look on his face, he proceeded to ask who the girl was. Again, Ricky shook his head and started to laugh even more. Then an odd sort of look overcame his face and he became deathly pale, almost like he wanted to vomit. He was overthinking. The look on his face reminded Red of their days back in kindergarten when they had first met. Ricky had been so shy back then, struggling to figure out his own place in the world. There was a pause in his voice, like he was unsure whether or not he wanted to proceed with his next confession. Finally, he decided that it was okay to tell Red. After all, Big Red wasn’t his only best friend for no reason.

“It’s not a she,” admitted Ricky shyly.

Red’s eyebrows shot up like two big red question marks. Just as quickly, they shot back down and rested in their natural spots. In a manner of seconds, the information processed in Red’s brain and he accepted the news with ease. Suddenly, he got up from his spot on the floor and joined Ricky on the couch. He lunged forward and engulfed Ricky in a warm bear hug.

“You are so cool for trusting me with this, Ricky,” Red said. “Seriously, this is like so dope of you.”

Ricky started to laugh again at the awkwardness of Red’s words but he appreciated the sentiment and knew what he was trying to convey with his stumbling speech. After that, Ricky had changed the subject and they quickly got sidetracked. Unfortunately for him, he still had no clue how to decipher when “the moment” had happened with his current crush.

A few days later, things started to click with Ricky. The whole Chad and Troy incident that had ended with a basketball prop hurtling towards EJ’s face, resulting in a bloody nose, had come and gone. Thankfully, EJ hadn’t mentioned it anymore after he stomped out of the bathroom angrily. EJ’s angry speech to Ricky in the crystalline bathroom had definitely upset him but he knew that he deserved it after taking things too far in the practice room. He cared more about the other boy’s well-being anyways, and if his happiness improved by taking his anger out on Ricky Bowen, then Ricky was more than willing to accept the blame. Plus, he knew that things had been incredibly rocky between EJ and Nini lately, so he figured that the least he could do was to try not to upset EJ any further. All of this was for Nini, of course.

On the opening night of their show, the look on EJ’s face during intermission was almost enough to freeze Ricky’s increasing anxiety from seeing his mom’s new boyfriend in the audience. Almost. The big smile on EJ’s face was merely the only gift that Ricky would receive from taking a break as Troy Bolton onstage. It seemed like there was a hint of worry in EJ’s eyes for the younger boy but Ricky was probably just overthinking it. Besides, EJ looked better in Troy Bolton’s jersey than Ricky did.

Later that night, Ricky had finally calmed down and been able to watch a little bit of EJ’s performance as Troy Bolton. Being in the midst of a panic attack was horrifying. It had felt like he couldn’t breathe and had no control over his body. It was an endless nightmare. Fortunately, it didn’t last too long. Watching EJ onstage helped in the aftermath of it all, soothing Ricky’s nerves and keeping him calm for whatever reason. Nini was on stage too and he admired her acting, but EJ drew his attention that night far more than she did. Sadly though, he still refused to even glance in the general direction of the audience where his mom was at , even though that’s where his dad was at too. Nonetheless, he was having a good time backstage. The entire crew was busy up front working and needless to say, it was a surprise when the cast arranged for him to be brought out onstage at the end and sing the ending song with Nini. Even more surprising, EJ had been more than happy to go along with the plan. It was a pleasant surprise that Ricky would’ve never expected from EJ Caswell, another decent gift.

After the performance, Ricky tried to find EJ to thank him for being so cool with everything. Their eyes caught for a moment and Ricky tried to mouth something along the lines of “Outside?” but it fell short in the midst of all the chaos. Before he could even register what was happening, Nini was grabbing his hand tightly and dragging him backstage. When Ricky looked back, EJ was gone. So he went along with Nini and spaced out for the majority of whatever she was saying, nodding along every once in a while. It wasn’t that he didn’t care, his mind was just on other things at the moment.

“Oh my god, you actually feel the same way! Ricky!” Nini squealed, reaching forward to plant a giant kiss on Ricky’s lips.

Nini was clearly still experiencing the highs of the show, her smile evident in the kiss that she gave Ricky. Ricky, however, did not return the kiss. Nini stepped back, her smile faltering. Confusion was written all over her face. Grudgingly, she stretched out her arm and used her sleeve to wipe off the lipstick that was on her ex-boyfriend’s face. The regret was starting to turn up on her face and Ricky hated the fact that she looked like a wounded puppy because of him now.

“I wasn’t listening,” he apologized. “No, I’m sorry, Nini. I don’t feel the same way that you do.”

Nini scoffed, confused and angry by his response. Then her face softened and she brightened for a moment, like she always did when she solved a puzzle. She masked the elation quickly and gave Ricky a sympathetic look.

“Ricky, I know things are rough with your parents, especially with what happened tonight in the audience. I shouldn’t have sprung this all on you tonight, I’m sorry. It’s just, I didn’t know if we would go back to ignoring each other after all this. I didn’t want to let us go without at least trying, because I know you felt what I felt too.”

There was a hint of desperation in her voice but to some extent, she wasn’t wrong. Ricky had primarily only auditioned for the show because of her. There had even been a point where he thought that there was a chance of them getting back together after EJ and Nini broke up. Then just as quickly as the thought had come into his head, feelings for someone else overpowered those thoughts rapidly.

Ricky really didn’t know how to put it. He wanted to let her down gently without having her hate him forever after this. Quietly, he stepped forward and took Nini’s hands in his. He knew her heart was probably beating out of her chest right now. His heart was feeling the same way, but for different reasons.

“Nini, it’s not my parents. I mean, don’t get me wrong. My mom bringing her new boyfriend to the show was a shit move on her part and it totally screwed me up for a bit. But what happened right now isn’t because of her. I didn’t kiss you back because I don’t like you how I used to like you, Nini. And honestly, I don’t think you really like me or love me, in the way that you used to either. Honestly, I think we were meant to love each other as friends.”

Nini stepped back and dropped Ricky’s hands. She was both startled and perplexed by his accusation. There was definitely some truth to it, even if she didn’t want to admit it right this instant. Although there was some truth in his words though, she was hurt by the fact that he also thought he knew more about her own feelings than she did. After all, they were her feelings. Not his. He certainly didn’t have to reciprocate them, but it didn’t excuse the way that he was treating her. There was only logical explanation to all of this.

“So what you’re saying is that you like someone else?” Nini asked dejectedly.

She hung her head in shame, almost unsure of whether or not she wanted to actually hear the answer. Even so, she swung her head up to give him the respect of listening. Truth be told, she already knew what the answer was.

“I didn’t say that,” Ricky sighed. “But I guess if we’re being honest, I do. Yeah.”

It had been the answer she was expecting but not the one she wanted. In truth, it would help her come to terms with the whole rejection later on when she wasn’t so filled with a mix of emotions. Now, she was just incredibly curious.

“Who is she?”

Ricky’s face grew a few shades lighter and Nini immediately knew that something was wrong. She had touched a nerve and even though she was hurt, she didn’t want to push him any more than he had already been pushed tonight. She tried giving him a reassuring smile but it ultimately came out like a sad puppy dog face.

“I’m sorry,” apologized Nini. She turned to leave but looked back one more time at her ex-boyfriend. “You don’t have to tell me who she is, but I hope she makes you really happy. You deserve it, Ricky. And if she doesn’t want to be with you, she’s an idiot.”

Ricky had almost been ready to let her leave him alone with his thoughts in the dim lighting that filled the backstage room. Hearing the raw emotion that poured out of her voice with genuine concern for him tugged at his heartstrings and ultimately, he relented and decided on trusting one more person with his secret. Only Red and Gina, after one too many shots at his house, knew about his secret. Nini would be the third person to know.

“It’s EJ,” blurted out Ricky as Nini turned to leave.

Immediately, she swung her head back and pierced through his soul with her eyes. The look in her eyes at first glance was something he couldn’t quite register. It was unknown territory, a new emotion that he had never received from her before. Was it jealousy? Intense hatred? Or something even darker brewing in her heart? Then the look shifted to a much calmer scene that Ricky recognized as Nini trying to repress her emotions. The look that washed over her face was one that looked like acceptance. At that moment, Ricky knew it was most likely not acceptance, though she masked her disappointment well.

He almost wanted her to turn back around and give him one of those warm hugs that comforted him instantly. Ricky wanted her to reassure him that everything was going to be okay and that he wasn’t crossing some sort of line by liking her tall, older, much more popular ex-boyfriend. But he knew it was crossing the line and he knew this was going to cost his relationship with Nini for a while. Still, he would rather have her be mad at him for a little bit and come back to him later, rather than having her be mad at him forever if she found out through someone else. For now, he was willing to deal with whatever happened as a result.

“Well, I hope he treats you well,” Nini sighed, exasperated like there was no breath left in her.

There was nothing left to say and with that, Nini left. Ricky was glad that she at least had been accepting over the fact that he was crushing on a boy. He knew that the main issue lied in the fact that his crush was EJ Caswell, her ex-boyfriend that had helped her in her most vulnerable time. Ricky knew that liking EJ wasn’t the most ideal thing for Nini to deal with but he had already tried talking himself out of the crush multiple times and it hadn’t worked. Now that the play had ended, Ricky hoped that the crush thing would end on its own and things would soon be resolved with Nini. If not, he would decidedly at least try pursuing some sort of relationship with EJ, even if it was just a friendship. He had learned from Nini that, contrary to Red’s advice, most things were better left being said rather than unsaid.

Neither of the two aforementioned things ended up happening. In the following weeks after the play, Nini steered clear of Ricky entirely. It was easy for her to do. They shared no classes and during lunch, Nini now went off campus with Kourtney, a newly licensed driver. Ricky had learned this the hard way. Two weeks after Nini started her vow of silence towards Ricky, he had gotten fed up with it and was determined to make things right with her during lunch. After making sure that Big Red secured plans with Ash, Ricky went searching around for Nini during lunch. He spent the entire lunch looking for her, only to be informed by Kourtney later that day that they went off campus every day because Nini “sooo did not want to talk to your pasty white boy ass”. This information, according to him, was all he was going to get and “you should be grateful that I’m even giving it to you”. Ricky hastily accepted the information and settling on diverting his efforts elsewhere.

The next day, Ricky wanted to talk over his new plans with Red during lunch. Unfortunately for him, Red was busy for the rest of the week eating lunch with Ash and her friends. Red gave him the information begrudgingly, the period right before lunch.

“Sorry, Ricky! When you said to make plans with Ash because you had something to do with Nini, I assumed that was going to take up the whole week. No offense, but you two take forever to figure stuff out. You can join us if you want...if things didn’t work out with Nini.”

Ricky shook his head adamantly in protest to the invitation. He appreciated the invite but knew it was only out of pity. Besides, he didn’t want to intrude on someone else’s group that he didn’t fit in with, since he knew Red and Ash would be stopping in to say hello to Ash’s friends sometime during lunch. Ricky was always self conscious about the whole fitting in thing.

“It’s okay, Big Red. I’ll find someone else to eat with this week. I just remembered that I actually do have plans, so don’t worry about it. Have fun with Ash.”

Ricky didn’t actually have plans and Red knew it. Red still gave him a weak smile in return and patted his best friend on the back heartily before they returned their attention to the actual class. Again, Ricky knew the gesture was only given to him out of pity. Nonetheless, he wasn’t going to guilt trip Red into having lunch with him.

Twenty minutes later, Ricky took the peanut butter and jelly sandwich that he had hastily shoved into his backpack earlier and slapped it in his mouth. He took one bite before realizing with a pit of despair in his stomach that he had accidentally thrown some mayo into the mix of the sandwich. He didn’t know how it had happened but it tasted disgusting. Truthfully speaking, Ricky always woke up in a daze in the morning. So the sandwich mishap had probably happened as a result of his sleep deprived mind.

Dramatically, Ricky stepped outside to throw the rest of his sandwich away while trying to get the taste of it all off his tongue. He wiped his tongue on the air continually, sticking it out of his mouth in the hopes of finally getting rid of the expired mayo taste.

“You trying to catch snowflakes on that tongue, Ricky?” someone yelled out from the side of their car. “Hate to break it to you, but doesn’t look like it’ll snow until next year!”

Ricky recognized that voice. Of course. He would recognize it from almost anywhere. If Ricky was placed in a crowd of three thousand people, he was sure that he could pick out EJ Caswell’s voice. Still, he tried to act nonchalant and turned around as casually as he could.

“‘Sup, bro.”

EJ laughed, like Ricky’s response was amusing to him. From EJ’s perspective, it was beyond amusing. His childlike response was thrilling to listen to. It was music to his ears.

“‘Sup, bro,” EJ mocked in return.

Ricky pouted like a kicked puppy, somehow hurt by what he knew had been a lighthearted comment by EJ. He didn’t know why EJ’s playful jokes affected him more than Nini’s jokes ever did. If listening to Nini had once caused pretty butterflies in Ricky’s stomach, then listening to EJ caused a tornado of pretty butterflies to bump around in his stomach at every second of every day. Thus, Ricky was more sensitive to the older boy’s comments towards him.

EJ frowned at Ricky’s response and motioned for Ricky to come closer with his pointer finger. Ricky obliged but was confused by the request. Slinging his backpack up higher on his right shoulder, Ricky walked forward until he was right outside of the passenger door. The window was already down and Ricky felt that EJ had been asking him without words to come all the way inside of the car. But he didn’t want to read into the situation too much and embarrass himself. So Ricky stayed outside. EJ laughed at him, though not unkindly.

“I didn’t ask you to come stand outside my car and admire me from afar. I know I’m pretty but I’m not that pretty, hotshot. Come inside, Ricky. While you’re at it, you can take a picture too. It’ll last longer.”

Ricky wanted to go inside of the car with every ounce of his body. Every part of his brain and other parts of his body urged him to go inside. Even his pink cheeks, flushed with embarrassment, wanted him to go inside. There was one small part in the back of his brain that was against it though.

“Why?” Ricky asked, inquisitively looking at the older boy like he was planning some evil plot against him.

“I wanted to talk to you after the show,” EJ lamented. “We never got the chance to though, Ricky. So here I am now.”

Ricky still didn’t take EJ up on his offer to go inside of his very nice car. He was confused and honestly, he felt like this could be one of EJ’s very famous pranks. Another bear trap. He could already read the YouTube title in his brain: “Straight Senior Baits Bisexual Junior in High Schooll? *Warning: Gone Sexual*”. It would probably be a private video, only available to his friends because, technically speaking, it wasn’t a very politically correct video to make in 2020. In fact, it sounded more like a PornHub video than it did a YouTube video. But it was the type of humor that popular senior boys like EJ probably enjoyed with their friends and shared around with the whole school.

“It’s been three weeks since the show ended,” deadpanned Ricky. “You had three whole weeks. And you have my number.”

“Right. Well I had to go sort out some things with my mom, who lives on the other side of the country for like two weeks. My parents are divorced and my dad just got full custody so I had to get all my stuff from her apartment. It was hectic and all. Major chaos. When I got back, I tried to find out where you were, Ricky. Actually, that’s all I’ve been doing this past week. Kind of embarrassing that I didn’t think to shoot you a text before. I really didn’t know what to say after not having seen you for two weeks. But here you are!”

Almost immediately, the worry fled Ricky’s mind. He didn’t know why, but EJ was just so easy to believe. EJ could’ve said that he had invented gravity and Ricky might just have believed him. Maybe it was the one year age difference that somehow made EJ seem more mature, more believable. Plus, the whole spiel about the divorced parents was something that Ricky could easily identify with. So Ricky tossed his backpack in the trunk of EJ’s car and slid into the passenger seat. He didn’t miss the small smile on EJ’s face that grew even bigger when Ricky thanked him for inviting him into his car.

“No problem. You want some food, Ricky?” EJ asked sweetly.

He didn’t even have to ask. All teenage boys were always hungry at any time of the day, especially Ricky after his mayo fiasco. He nodded earnestly in response and EJ laughed. EJ seemed to find everything that Ricky did funny. The younger boy took no offense, he just found the gesture strange coming from a popular senior boy like EJ. They ended up driving in silence for a while. Ricky didn’t even know where they were going.

“Hey, is it okay if I take the aux cord?”

Once again, EJ laughed like Ricky was telling the funniest joke in the world. Ricky wished that he could play EJ’s laugh on repeat in the car. He didn’t want EJ to think that he was some sort of Jeffrey Dahmer though.

“Go ahead, Ricky. Mi casa es su casa,” grinned EJ.

Ricky neglected to correct him on the fact that this wasn’t EJ’s house, it was his car. Plus, he sort of dug the odd obsession that EJ currently had with saying his name. Unfortunately, the way his own name slipped off of EJ’s tongue resulted in way too many inappropriate fantasies that went through his head like a rapid machine gun. It was like a Call Me By Your Name sort of sequence that wouldn’t stop playing in his head. Nonetheless, Ricky took the aux cord and connected it to his phone, hoping the older boy didn’t notice the blush that had suddenly crept up to his cheeks again.

In Red’s car, Ricky probably would’ve selected whatever song he was last playing from his playlist and hit shuffle. But this wasn’t Red’s car. This was a senior’s car. Not just any senior either. EJ. With him, it was different. He felt like he had to impress EJ in everything he did, including the music that he listened to. Somehow, he ended up on the soundtrack from High School Musical. “Start of Something New” started blaring through the speakers and Ricky anxiously awaited EJ’s response. To no one’s surprise, EJ let out a huge laugh at the song selection. Ricky was proud that he had baited his fish correctly. To his delight, he had reeled the fish in and caught the biggest prize of the day: EJ’s laugh.

“No freaking way, Ricky. Major throwback to our very own bromance,” yelled EJ over the speakers.

Ricky’s heart definitely did not flutter at the very similar resemblance between the words bromance and romance. His heart also definitely did not flutter when EJ started singing Troy’s lyrics at the top of his lungs. Soon enough, Ricky joined in as Gabriella. EJ flashed him a huge, pearly white smile when he joined in and wrapped his right arm around the younger boy like it was nothing out of the ordinary, keeping his left hand on the steering wheel. Ricky became as still as he could without seeming too awkward, not wanting to throw off the balance, which might result in EJ removing his arm from Ricky’s shoulder.

All in all, Ricky was pleased with the results of his first song selection. When “Bop to the Top” came on next, he was surprised in a good way by the amount of sass that EJ, as Sharpay, was able to sing with. Then the car screeched to a halt and they were parked at what EJ described as “the best pizza place in town, seriously”. Ricky could already tell that he wasn’t exaggerating. The second that they stepped out of the car, the smell of deliciously homemade pizza wafted through the air and right into Ricky’s nostrils. It definitely made up for the nasty expired mayo that he had accidentally tasted earlier.

Ricky rushed to the entrance of the pizza shop. When he pulled the door to no avail and frowned, tugging at the door with all of muscles, this resulted in another fit of giggles from EJ.

“The sign says push, not pull,” EJ laughed, wrapping his right arm around Ricky again and pointing to the sign above the door with the same hand.

Ricky rolled his eyes playfully and slipped out from EJ’s embrace sneakily, ignoring the way his heart was beating even faster now.

“Right,” he said to EJ, “I didn’t realize I was talking to the expert of doors.”

“What can I say? I’m the master of doors, baby,” smirked EJ.

Instantly, Ricky could feel himself turning red at the pet name. He couldn’t tell if this was something that EJ did with all of his friends or if it was just reserved for him. Ricky decided that it was safer to assume that it was the type of treatment that everyone got. If he started overthinking, he knew his thoughts would eventually turn to Nini and he started to wonder if EJ had ever taken her here. In turn, the younger boy walked quickly to the end of the line. EJ followed and they waited patiently in line, engaging in conversations that led them into their own little world. When they reached the front of the line, the person behind them had to cough in order for them to snap back to reality.

EJ apologized to the person behind them like the perfect gentleman that he was. Then he did the thing again. He reached around and placed his right arm on Ricky’s right shoulder. Ricky glanced down at the older boy’s hand and then EJ’s face, almost as if to make sure that he intended to do it again. EJ made no reaction, instead relaying both of their orders to the pizza maker. Ricky made no move to remove EJ’s arm from his shoulder as a result. So there his arm stayed until it was time to pay and EJ had to take his wallet out of his back pocket with his right hand.

“You sure you don’t want to split the bill?” Ricky asked anxiously.

Ricky hated being indebted to people. He had a few crumpled up bills in his pocket and knew that EJ would probably laugh at him if he pulled them out, but it was better than being indebted. However, EJ was insistent on the fact that he had invited Ricky out. Therefore, Ricky was his guest and EJ was paying.

It was quite funny to Ricky how EJ was treating this all like a home visit. First, he had taken out the whole “mi casa...” line. Then he had referred to Ricky as his guest. The whole situation was bizarre.

Ricky guessed that he couldn’t be too bummed out about the situation though. After all, it was free food and that was always something to be happy about. He offered a quiet “thanks” to the other boy. EJ was more than happy to pay and made it clear when he patted the side of the smaller boy’s face happily with his own hand. They got their pizza and were just about ready to drive back to the school when the woman behind them in line tapped the taller boy kindly on the back. His arm was back around Ricky so when he turned around, he took Ricky back with him.

“Yes, ma’am?” EJ asked politely.

The woman was probably in her late 50s or early 60s. She reminded Ricky of his grandmother on his father’s side. Her tone was sweet and gentle, and it made Ricky adore her instantly.

“I wanted to say before you left that you and your boyfriend make quite the couple,” said the older woman with a smile on her face.

Ricky was about to protest but he noticed how charmed EJ seemed by the woman and couldn’t bear to interrupt her. And if EJ wasn’t going to correct her, why should he? So she continued.

“You two boys remind me of my oldest and his husband,” the woman smiled. “I know love when I see it and you two have got it. The lovebug is a very rare thing to have in your generation and I hope you know how special you are to have caught it.”

The last part was directed at EJ and he tipped an imaginary hat in return.

“Thank you, ma’am. We know,” he winked.

With that, EJ turned both himself and Ricky around to walk out of the shop. Ricky suddenly felt very differently about the arm that was so conveniently placed around his shoulder. He didn’t dare to look at EJ out of fear that he would suddenly swipe his arm back, sneer at him and unkindly laugh at him for believing that because of EJ’s response to the woman in the store, EJ somehow had feelings for Ricky.

When they got back into the car after placing their pizza boxes in the trunk (EJ had a rather large trunk that he insisted would keep the pizza more secure than the backseat would), Ricky got into the passenger seat silently. EJ started up the car confidently but gave a concerned look when Ricky didn’t immediately reach for the auxiliary cord. Instead, Ricky was in outer space. He had his arm on the shoulder of the car, looking out of the window sadly. There was a definite shift between the playful mood that he had in the store and the upset look on his face now. The older boy turned off the car and faced Ricky.

“Are you okay, Ricky?” EJ asked him cautiously.

“Why the hell do you keep calling me that, huh? Do you think we’re best friends now or something? Three weeks, EJ! You know, I thought we were at least somewhat friends after opening night happened. Figured I would’ve at least gotten a text after the whole thing ended. But now you want to come back and do whatever you’re doing now? Like, what was that with the lady in the store?”

EJ didn’t respond for a few seconds. He racked his brain, trying to come up with a good answer and then he just gave up.

“You know what it is,” he answered lowly, his voice dropping to a husky whisper.

“Really? I have no clue, EJ. Enlighten me,” taunted Ricky.

The happy look that was always on EJ’s face seemed to have been completely wiped off. He was seething with anger and a mix of something else.

“I didn’t text you or call you right after because I knew that if I did, I would say something that you weren’t ready to hear yet. And even if you were ready to hear it, I don’t know if I was ready to say it. Okay? So I’m sorry for not saying anything earlier. You’re right, I should’ve said something. But I’m here now and you know I care. Just let it go right now and we’ll talk when we get back to school.”

Ricky huffed melodramatically in response and turned back to the window. He muttered something under his breath and EJ felt extremely tempted to rudely ask him to repeat his statement, but he controlled the urge and let it go. Instead, he started the car and headed back to school. The car ride was filled with silence on the way back. It was irritating to Ricky that EJ wouldn’t just break the silence with his usual giddy self. At the very least, he wanted something other than just silence. He would’ve taken an insult over the silence that hung over the air, fragile and ready to break at any moment.

When they rolled into the student parking lot back at school, Ricky was about ready to grab his stuff and just leave. Then he heard a startling yell from EJ, who was grabbing his pointer finger on his right hand. His eyes were wide open and staring at the backseat. EJ flung open the car door to the backseat and got on his knees, frantically scanning the backseat floor. He closed the door on the left side and held his car keys tightly in his left hand while he kept searching. Ricky sighed and figured that he might as well join EJ in the backseat. He closed the two front doors and headed to the backseat with EJ.

“What’s going on?” asked Ricky, popping his head in to the backseat.

EJ finally looked up and met Ricky’s eyes with desperate ones of his own.

“My ring came off and flew back here. I can’t find it,” EJ sighed, shaking his head.

Ricky pursed his lips together. There were some times that he could choose to hold a grudge and other times that he could choose to be the better person and let it go. Today was one of those other times. He felt bad for EJ, who was shaking his head in disappointment at himself.

“Was it expensive?” Ricky inquired.

As soon as the question slipped from his lips, he felt stupid for asking about the monetary value of it. Then EJ laughed and Ricky suddenly didn’t feel so bad, even if EJ was laughing at his expense this time.

“No, it wasn’t expensive,” chuckled EJ. “Honestly, it was just some cheapy ring that looked cool. I’m probably better off without that stupid ring, Ricky. A sign from God or some shit like that.”

Ricky slid into the backseat right next to EJ. Shakily, he took up enough courage to take his own left hand and place it over EJ’s right hand to comfort him. If it all went wrong, he figured he could cover it up with some sob story about the fact that his mother had done the same with him when he was younger and in distress. EJ glanced at their hands.

“What are you doing, Ricky?”

His voice was soft, like he was afraid that speaking too loud would shatter poor Ricky’s heart. Personally, Ricky felt offended by the made up notion that EJ was purposefully speaking quieter to avoid breaking him in two. In all honesty, he was speaking quieter than normal, but not for the reason that Ricky thought.

“Whatever you want me to be doing,” laughed Ricky nervously.

Ricky was tempted to retract his hand instantly but he decided that today was one of those days that he had to be brave. If not for the sake of his possible relationship with EJ, for the sake of himself. His heart dropped when EJ released his hand from the prison that was Ricky’s hand. Suddenly, Ricky wasn’t feeling so brave anymore. Then EJ reached out and grabbed Ricky’s hand so that EJ’s hand was now on top.

Ricky smiled to himself shyly. That small action revealed more to Ricky than EJ probably knew and it made Ricky both nervous and relieved at the same time that EJ was already asserting dominance over him. It wasn’t like he hadn’t done so in the past, but that was different.

“I don’t think it was a stupid ring,” Ricky said, thinking aloud. “If you were wearing it, it couldn’t have been that stupid.”

EJ looked at him like he didn’t know how to respond. He was busy trying to put together the puzzle pieces of Ricky Bowen’s mind, trying to figure out what made him say the things that he did. Little did he know that there were no puzzle pieces right now. Ricky was acting on impulse, not logically thought through choices.

In a split-second decision, the older boy decided that if Ricky could take a chance, so could he. In the same moment, Ricky had the same thought but his actual reaction was delayed in comparison to EJ’s.

“I don’t know if I’m reading this the wrong way—“

“—aw, baby.”

Turning to face the younger boy in the backseat, EJ cupped Ricky’s face in his left hand while still holding his other hand tightly. He gazed at him intently, noting the flushed features on the other boy’s face and how shy he suddenly looked, compared to EJ’s smirking face. Ricky closed his eyes and immediately puckered his lips. EJ only laughed, pressing a kiss to Ricky’s forehead instead as his eyelids fluttered open in surprise. Ricky made a move forward in protest against the fact that EJ still hadn’t kissed him on the lips, anxious for the contact.

EJ denied him the contact again, swiping Ricky’s lips with his thumb instead while EJ pressed his own lips against Ricky’s right cheek. His thumb held Ricky’s bottom lip down and the younger boy was already a whimpering mess under him. They hadn’t done anything remotely sexual and Ricky was acting feral because of EJ’s touch.

On Ricky’s nose, EJ pressed a light kiss. He chastely kissed the sides of Ricky’s face a bit more, ignoring the whines in return that Ricky gave him. EJ then began to kiss around Ricky’s lips, but still not quite meeting them. Ricky just wanted the satisfaction of finally being kissed by EJ but EJ seemed to enjoy torturing him with his thumb pressed firmly on his bottom lip.

“Please,” murmured Ricky against EJ’s thumb.

EJ laughed like he always did. He drew his thumb away from Ricky’s mouth and caressed the side of his face gently.

“Please what, Ricky?”

Ricky grew more flushed, if that was even possible. The red in the bottom of his cheeks rose quickly to the top of them and he wanted to yell at EJ, but he was distracted by the fact that he wanted to kiss him so badly.

“Can you please kiss me?” Ricky asked with a level of desperation that EJ hadn’t even known was possible before.

Of course, with how shy he was being, EJ couldn’t deny him now. He pressed one final kiss to the top of Ricky’s nose just to watch the younger boy squirm under him in anticipation. Then he leaned forward and sealed the deal, pressing his lips against Ricky’s in a sweet, gentle fashion. Ricky’s lips tasted like cherries and EJ was intoxicated. The first kiss was brief but everything they could’ve hoped for.

Ricky leaned back, taking a breather from the short kiss to take it all in. He was still processing the fact that EJ liked boys and that the older senior boy actually liked him, when EJ brought him back in for another kiss. This time, the kiss was deliberately full of purpose and passion. EJ tugged at the side of Ricky’s hair as they smashed their lips together in the backseat of the older boy’s car, not even caring if anyone saw them. Ricky let out a small noise that EJ wanted to hear him make all the time. He tugged at Ricky’s hair again and was satisfied to hear another small moan come out of the younger boy.

With that, EJ drew back from a panting Ricky. Ricky was so out of breath in comparison to EJ that it was laughable. This time though, EJ chose not to laugh. He pressed a soft kiss on Ricky’s neck that left Ricky rolling his eyes into the back of his head dramatically like he was coming down from an orgasm, rather than an intense first couple of kisses with his crush. EJ patted the side of Ricky’s face sweetly and opened the right car door so that they could both get out. Ricky pouted.

“Do we have to go to class?” Ricky prodded.

“We do, Ricky. We can’t make out all day like some horny college couple,” laughed EJ.

Ricky raised his eyebrows suggestively. He wasn’t sure whether or not he wanted to go through with the next comment but he decided to anyways. After all, he was supposed to be brave today.

“Are we a couple?”

EJ shrugged absentmindedly. Ricky huffed, already dreading the answer.

“If you want us to be,” EJ replied, unlocking the trunk of his car while he spoke.

Ricky sighed, grabbing his backpack from the trunk and flinging it over his shoulder. He grabbed EJ’s as well and tossed it over to him. Surprisingly, EJ caught it with one arm and Ricky suddenly realized that he hadn’t remembering letting go of his hand.

“I only want us to be together if you want to be together,” Ricky started carefully. “I’ve liked you for a while too, so I understand if you’re not ready for all that just yet either.”

Ricky mentally slapped himself for including the last part. Truthfully speaking, he wouldn’t really understand. After what EJ had just done, he would be embarrassed and hate himself for weeks if EJ rejected him now.

EJ jogged to the back of the car with Ricky and grabbed their pizza boxes. They’d just eat in class, a rare occurrence for Ricky and a common occurrence for the senior boy.

“I want to be with you, Ricky. Like, I want to actually be your boyfriend. But the only thing I worry about is Nini, and how she’ll react to it,” EJ explained as he took a bite out of his own pizza, swallowing the last bits of the bite as he awaited Ricky’s response.

“Shit, I forgot about Nini,” agreed Ricky. “But the thing is, we haven’t been talking for a while now. And I’ve tried reaching out to her but she still won’t talk to me. So, you know. Here’s my thoughts: Fuck it. If she really loves me like she says she does, as a friend, she’ll be happy for me no matter what. If not, then I don’t need a friend like that anyways.”

“Are you sure?” EJ anxiously asked. “I don’t want you to regret this later on.”

For once, EJ seemed small and unsure of himself. Nini was the one other person that could compete with him in Ricky’s romantic department, from his perspective. It scared him that he could so easily lose Ricky with a snap of Nini’s fingers if Ricky potentially wanted her instead. After all, it made sense. Nini and Ricky had been together since kindergarten. EJ had been with Nini for a couple of months and then he had screwed it up. Other than her, there had been no meaningful relationships, just random hookups with girls at house parties. Technically speaking, he still hadn’t gone all the way with a boy.

Ricky kissed the other boy on the cheek. “I want to be with you, EJ. Screw what anyone else says.”

In response, EJ placed his pizza box on the hood of his car as he dragged Ricky along the side, placing Ricky’s pizza box next to his for a moment. He took the younger boy’s hands in his own, holding them tightly.

“Ricky Bowen, would you like to be my boyfriend?”

This time, it was Ricky’s time to laugh at how sweet EJ was being towards him and the absurdity of it all compared to the bloody nose incident that had happened during practice a while ago. They really had come so far since then and it made Ricky grip EJ’s hands even tighter.

“A thousand times yes.”