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“We kissed. Or, I kissed him. During the time loop. And I…” She swallows. “I want to pursue it. Pursue him.”
“You and Sousa,” Deke repeats, as if it doesn’t quite compute. She can see in his eyes the moment it hits him, though, a flash of pain he quickly tries to hide, ducking his head to stare at the floor.
“I wanted you to hear it from me, first,” Daisy says again, softer than the first time.
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Yeah, his bunk. That’s a good idea. The fastest way to the stairs up to them is through Mission Control and the lab again, but this time he hopes his Nana isn’t there, because he’s in no mood to talk to anyone anymore.
And he gets his wish, because Simmons is nowhere to be seen, but perhaps he should have chosen a better wish.
“No, I’m fine,” Daisy says softly, her head tilted slightly up to address Sousa. “The chamber fixed the last of it; I feel close to full strength again.” She smiles, a gentle, open thing that makes Deke’s heart clench, sending another physical stab of pain through him. And the way Sousa looks at her, soft and protective and admiration shining through every inch—because who could look at Daisy Johnson with anything other than admiration? “Thank you, though.”
A lump rises in his throat, choking him.
“Well, still, it can’t have been easy,” Sousa tells her. “If you need anything—”
“Trust me, I know,” Daisy says with another upward quirk of her lips. Her eyes slide sideways to Deke, still standing in the doorway for the second time that day. She’s stepping away from Sousa before she’s even met his eyes, the smile fading from her face. And all of a sudden…
All of a sudden, Deke feels like an idiot, for an entirely different reason.
Of course Daisy cares about him. She’s holding herself back from Sousa for his sake. She came and told him first because she was doing her best not to hurt him.
And he, to put it in lovely 21st century terms, is being a dick. If he really cares about her, he has to let her go and pursue what will make her happy, not drag her down with him because his feelings got hurt. It’s not about whether or not he’s enough; Daisy has been through so much in her life—and yeah, they all have, but that’s not what this is about—and she finally has a chance at happiness and he’s preventing her from taking it?
He knows her history with Ward, with Lincoln, with Miles even because she trusted him enough to tell him. He knows how monumental this is for her, how broken she still is over Lincoln, how much fear she still harbors about even the possibility of letting anyone else in, letting anyone else close to her like that, for their sake as much as hers. He knows how much she struggles with allowing anyone else take care of her, or take the hit so she doesn’t have to. He knows this because he has been here, and who is he to begrudge Sousa that chance?
If he can make her happy…
Well, that’s what Deke’s wanted most of all, really…even if it’s not with him.