Chapter Text
Youtube
Channel: Zira Bakes!
Subscribers: 978k
Channel Description: Hi! I’m Zira, a graduate of the Paris Bakery and Pastry School, and on this channel I show you how to make many different kinds of desserts, from rice-crispy treats to creme brulee. Stick around and you might learn a little something sweet!
Popular Uploads:
How to Make Chocolate Souffle | Zira Bakes!
My Favorite Chocolate Chip Cookies | Zira Bakes!
Identifying Chocolate Brands Blindfolded | Zira Bakes!
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Channel: ItsJustCrowley
Subscribers: 456k
Channel Description: It’s literally just Crowley. Don’t you dare ask my first name or you’ll be banished to Hell. Maybe I don’t even have one. Anyway here lies my “comedy” and gaming. Stay if you want. Whatever.
Popular Uploads:
this instagram comedian is worse than the 14th century
watch me play the sims i beg you
fuck right off SUSAN
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Channel: local crazy witch
Subscribers: 629k
Channel Description: BOO! It’s your local crazy with here to prove that women should be FEARED and also how to use magic to make your cat like you uwu
Popular Uploads:
BEAT DOWN THE PATRIARCHY WITH A MEAT TENDERIZER
FINDING YOUR INNER MAGIC w/ Zira Bakes!
YOU NEED THESE FIVE CRYSTALS
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Channel: Newton Pulsifer
Subscribers: 320k
Channel Description: Uh, I don’t really know how I got here. This was supposed to be a tech channel but turns out I’m shit at tech so now I guess I just smash stuff and people like it?
Popular Uploads:
Which Computer Smashes the Loudest? | Mac VS Windows
Crushing a Floppy Disc with Dick Turpin
Can I Fix This Computer Virus? (SPOILER: NO)
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Channel: Fandom News UK
Subscribers: 1.3M
Channel Description: Fandom News UK: Gabriel Archer here. Your source for all news regarding British Fandoms including celebrities, TV shows and Youtubers. You want the tea on your favorite internet personalities, this is the place to be.
Popular Uploads:
TAYLOR SWIFT SPOTTED WITH KEVIN JONAS | FANDOM NEWS UK
IS ZOELLA STILL RELEVANT?? | FANDOM NEWS UK
INTERVIEWING CHRIS PINE | FANDOM NEWS UK
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Channel: buzzybeez
Subscribers: 875k
Channel Description: Beez (they/them plez). I have a trust fund and I can’t stop spending it on mystery boxes.
Popular Uploads:
best ebay mystery boxes
unboxing as seen on tv crap
creating and selling my own mystery box
Youtube
Channel: Zira Bakes!
Video Title: Trying to Make Mary Berry’s Chocolate Cake | Zira Bakes!
Upload Date: May 11, 2019
Video Description: Hello my lovely subscribers, Zira here, your Angel of Baking, and today I’m going to be following Mary Berry’s Chocolate Cake recipe and trying my best to create that iconic taste! Join me for a Twitch Stream tomorrow evening at 6 BST!
Views: 438,932
Comments: 5,235
absolutelykillingit: How did you make it so freaking moist????? A true goddess angel
564 likes, 4 dislikesbakemeaway: You should do one of the challenges like they do on GBBO where they work off a recipe but don’t really know what they’re making!
483 likes, 18 dislikes
Channel: Zira Bakes!
Video Title: Rainy Day Baking: Lemon Bars | Zira Bakes!
Upload Date: May 25, 2019
Video Description: Hello lovelies! Zira here, your Angel of Baking. Today was stormy, so I decided to make some tasty lemon bars and then curl up with a good book. Follow my tumblr for book recommendations: angelofbaking.tumblr.com!
Views: 526,234
Comments: 4,329
Elsie Gardner: Absolutely gorgeous baking, as always!
235 likes, 0 dislikesItsJustCrowley: i’m in awe of you honestly, the way you throw those ingredients together and create something breathtaking is incredibly amazing.
143 likes, 2 dislikes
Channel: Zira Bakes!
Video Title: Baking a Funfetti Cake with My Nephew | Zira Bakes!
Upload Date: June 1, 2019
Video Description: Hello subscribers, Zira here, your Angel of Baking! I’ve invited my nephew Adam over to make a cake for his eleventh birthday! This recipe is easy and fun for adults and children (with supervision!).
Views: 953,320
Comments: 6,302
ItsJustCrowley: you are so good with kids and your nephew is so sweet. i adore funfetti (for reasons) and you did such a beautiful job, angel.
564 likes, 21 dislikesHippityHop32: anybody ever notice that @ItsJustCrowley comments on like. every video by Zira? anybody think they know each other? they’re both from london you know…
438 likes, 59 dislikesSinger Nance: @HippityHop32 I did notice that!! Hmmmmmm
21 likes, 1 dislike
Channel: ItsJustCrowley
Video Title: catch me vibing with dora the explorer
Upload Date: May 21, 2019
Video Description: i don’t speak a lick of spanish but something drew me in. i think it’s that damn monkey.
Views: 325,410
Comments: 2,931
buzzybeez: damn Crowley this is some meta shit I don’t even know what to say. but like im glad you found your niche i guess
300 likes, 45 dislikescaptainamerka: Anybody else get a bit of a gAy ViBe?
321 likes, 3 dislikesItsJustCrowley: @captainamerka yeah, me.
1,247 likes, 4 dislikesGavin Brooks: we been knew @captainamerka she had like a coming out video, but like, it was Crowley so it was more like ‘what’s up bitches, i’m gay and you already knew’
452 likes, 34 dislikes
Channel: ItsJustCrowley
Video Title: do i like musicals now?? [my shite review of bare: a pop opera]
Upload Date: May 25, 2019
Video Description: ok listen i know this isn’t my normal jam, but i’m a little obsessed with this musical and i just want to squeeze jason and peter on the cheeks like i’m some kind of grandma. anyway don’t tell anyone i cried at the end, ok? good i knew i could trust you.
Views: 569,493
Comments: 3,695
Kathryn Bling: duuuude I have the BIGGEST crush on Ivy can we just take a MOMENT
421 likes, 23 dislikespeterjason54: omg my favorite youtuber talking about my favorite musical!!!!!!!
72 likes, 1 dislike
Channel: ItsJustCrowley
Video Title: reading the queens on drag race s1 (with my cat)
Upload Date: June 3, 2019
Video Description: these queens needed a visit to the library tbh. also rupaul could step on me with six inch heels and i would thank her.
Views: 632,136
Comments: 4,193
Zira Bakes!: It’s been brought to my attention that you’ve seen rather a few of my videos and so I wanted to watch some of yours. I selected this video because it had “reading” in the title, and though I can’t say I understand exactly what was happening, I quite enjoyed your humor.
631 likes, 32 dislikesItsJustCrowley: @Zira Bakes! message me on tumblr if you want an explanation lol it’s @snake-lesbian.
439 likes, 3 dislikesromioneislyfe: I can’t with these two I hope they hit it off lmaooo
85 likes, 4 dislikes
Tumblr Messaging
June 4, 2019 7:45 PM
angelofbaking: Hello Crowley! This is Zira from Zira Bakes on Youtube! You suggested I might contact you with questions regarding “reading” and I also wanted to tell you how lovely your cat is!
snake-lesbian: hey! oh thank you!! yeah, so it’s a drag term and it’s when you insult someone for one of their flaws, but you do it really cleverly. so, you “read someone like a book” if that makes sense?
angelofbaking: Ah yes, I see. Well then your video makes quite a lot more sense, and I enjoyed it immensely.
snake-lesbian: haha thanks :D not to be weird or anything, but i watch like all of your videos
angelofbaking: Oh wow, thanks! Are you a baker? I confess, I only watched that one video of yours so far.
snake-lesbian: no lol, no one’s let me near an oven in years. except frozen pizza. i can make that. anyway i just enjoy your videos and stuff.
angelofbaking: And stuff?
snake-lesbian: are you fishing for compliments, angel? :P
angelofbaking: Oh no! No, I just didn’t know what you meant, dear.
snake-lesbian: kidding!! i just meant that i enjoy watching you bake
angelofbaking: Thank you! That means quite a lot. I’ll be sure to watch some more of your videos soon.
Youtube
Channel: Newton Pulsifer
Video Title: Punching Computers with Boxing Gloves | Mac VS Windows
Upload Date: June 5, 2019
Video Description: This was clearly a mistake because I literally broke my pinkie. Enjoy it anyway I hope *shrugs*
Views: 258,132
Comments: 1,247
queerandalive: omg i just realized i have no clue where you get all these computers to beat up???
45 likes, 2 dislikeshugs for bugs: He said a few months ago that he has an arrangement with several electronics stores. You’d have to watch it for the details, but basically companies give him old/dysfunctional computers for smashing purposes :)
39 likes, 0 dislikes
Tumblr Messaging
June 7, 2019 9:45 PM
snake-lesbian: hey angel, you got a good recipe for cinnamon buns?
June 8, 2019 7:31 AM
angelofbaking: Oh, hello, Crowley! Yes, I do. Should I send it your way?
snake-lesbian: uh, thing is, i’d have no idea where to start…
angelofbaking: Do you need a few tips? I can send you some notes to follow, if you’d like!
snake-lesbian: yeah, that could be good. i mean, would you consider making a video about it? sorry if that’s weird. nevermind.
angelofbaking: Ah, I understand. You know, I suppose I could. I had a video lined up for this week, but I could easily post it next week. Oh, this is exciting!
snake-lesbian: wow thank you. you really don’t have to.
angelofbaking: No, it would be my pleasure, dear.
Youtube
Channel: Zira Bakes!
Video Title: Baking Cinnamon Rolls for a Friend | Zira Bakes!
Upload Date: June 10, 2019
Video Description: Join me today as I bake some cinnamon rolls for my new friend Crowley!
Views: 593,210
Comments: 5,391
ItsJustCrowley: that was so fast damn thank you so much
336 likes, 4 dislikesZira Bakes: @ItsJustCrowley Please let me know your address, dear girl, I’d like to bring these by for you.
1,032 likes, 32 dislikesdonttrusttheb_: I’m sorry, is anyone seeing this?? Zira baked buns for Crowley and then she’s going to deliver them?? That’s kinda gay tbh
548 likes, 78 dislikesHannah Weber: @donttrusttheb_ I'm pretty sure Zira isn't gay, at least as far as we know on the internet.
30 likes, 23 dislikes
Tumblr Messaging
June 10, 2019 3:31 PM
snake-lesbian: you
snake-lesbian: you baked those for me???
angelofbaking: Yes, I hope that’s alright. I suppose I could eat them all myself, but I’d rather share them, if you don’t mind.
snake-lesbian: no no i want some. what’s your mobile number? i’ll text you my address. it’s in mayfair. i hope that’s not too far.
angelofbaking: I’m in Soho! It’s not too much trouble. My number is XXXXX XXXXXX
snake-lesbian: great! i’ll text you in a sec. thank you again, angel.
Text Messaging
June 10
Crowley (3:45): great bumbling satan she’s coming to my fLAT
Beez (3:46): Daaaaayum, you little devil, that was mighty quick ;)
Crowley (3:47): oh can it, beez.
Crowley (3:49): she made me fuckin cinnamon buns bc i said i didn’t know how
Beez (3:50): Lol when’s she coming?
Crowley (3:50): any minute!!!
Beez (3:51): Well what are you wearing?
Crowley (3:52): jesus fuck i haven’t got trousers on
Beez (3:54): Good luck you useless lesbian you
Crowley (3:57): she’s here!!!!!! (and i’m wearing trousers thnk someoen)
Beez (4:02): You’re a lost cause dude
Youtube
Channel: Fandom News UK
Video Title: MILEY CYRUS RETURNS TO DISNEY CHANNEL??? | FANDOM NEWS UK
Upload Date: June 11, 2019
Video Description: Watch until the end to find out about a special giveaway for my most loyal followers!
Views: 984,335
Comments: 3,243
cindy lu who: why u gotta tease me like that
35 likes, 0 dislikesMary Thompson: This is utter bullshit. Do not watch.
24 likes, 2 dislikes
Text Messaging
June 12
Crowley (4:42): hey, thanks again for the cinnamon buns the other day.
Angel (4:47): Hello, Crowley. You’re so welcome. Say, are you going to be at Vidcon next month?
Crowley (4:48): yeah! i was so thrilled to get invited this year
Angel (5:03): Well, I guess I’ll see you then, dear girl
Crowley (5:05): yeah i guess i’ll see you
Text Messaging
June 14
Crowley (11:42): hey you still up?
Beez (11:42): obvs whazzup?
Crowley (11:43): so like, Zira made me those cinnamon buns right? and then she was like okay see you at vidcon and i was like??? is that it??? can I text her again or have i just been pushed aside until then??
Beez (11:44): Yikes don’t spiral dude you met her once. I think you can text her soon
Crowley (11:44): and say what exactly???
Beez (11:45): This is your crush not mine dingus. Idk maybe compliment one of her vids
Crowley (11:47): yeah good one thanks pal
Beez (11:48): Pal??
Crowley (11:48): jesus i’m just trying not to misgender you lol!! idk if you care for dude or not
Beez (11:49): Lol I don’t mind dude.
Beez (12:03): Thanks btw
Crowley (12:04): np
Youtube
Channel: Zira Bakes!
Video Title: Look Inside My Bullet Journal | Zira Bakes!
Upload Date: June 15, 2019
Video Description: This is an inside look at my bullet journal! I’m showcasing my July spread that I made this past week. Make sure to let me know if you want more journal content!
Views: 539,025
Comments: 4,356
Talia Brunswick: Those glitter stickers are SO CUTE!!!
246 likes, 2 dislikespearlsofwisdom49: I’m here for bullet journal content!! Please post more!!
382 likes, 14 dislikes
Text Messaging
June 16
Crowley (8:30): hey, your vid about journaling was really cool. i haven’t ever even managed to keep up a planner at uni haha. and your doodles are really adorable!
Angel (8:56): Oh, thank you dear! I spent quite a long time perfecting those tiny flowers, that’s the secret :D
Crowley (8:59): haha well it looks effortless so kudos!! and it’s so smart to keep track of your baking vids in the journal. did i spy a video coming up this month about making your own oreos??
Angel (9:00): Why yes, I do plan on creating my own recipe for a homemade Oreo cookie and documenting it on my channel. Do you like Oreos, Crowley?
Crowley (9:02): lol yes big oreo fan, me
Angel (9:05): Well, I’ll be sure to let you know when I post it!
Crowley (9:06): yes please :D
Youtube
Channel: local crazy witch
Video Title: MY CAT CONTROLS MY DESTINY
Upload Date: June 23, 2019
Video Description: LISTEN i’m not even lying she can see through my soul and i swear she knows my every move
Views: 385,468
Comments: 2,572
croissantsandeclairs: wtf i think my cat was telepathically communicating with your cat in this video bc she came up close to the screen and then ran over to the front door and there was a box of her cat food outside so……..
425 likes, 25 dislikesBlaire Fort: This is absolute nonsense and you are bat shit insane.
45 likes, 389 dislikes
Text Messaging
June 25
Angel (6:43): I’m not sure if you watch my friend Anathema’s videos, but if not, I thought you might enjoy her most recent video. It has a cat in it! Her channel is “local crazy witch”
Crowley: (6:52): omg i just watched it and that is NOT what i was expecting at all. she has some.. interesting opinions
Angel (6:53): That is incredibly true. If you just look at our Youtube pages, you’d wonder how on earth we’re friends, but nevertheless, she’s one of my favorite people on earth, crystals and all.
Crowley (6:55): i feel that. my best friend on yt opens mystery boxes in their spare time which is wild
Angel (7:00): Wow, I have no idea what a mystery box is. I mean, I can infer that it means they open boxes of which they do not know the contents, but I sense there’s a specific meaning that I’m not aware of.
Crowley (7:01): lol you don’t have to explain yourself to me, just tell me if you don’t know a term or something. no judgement! anyway, it’s basically what you said, but you usually order them off ebay. it’s a pretty weird thing to do bc people can just put random crap in there, but sometimes you get really cool shit
Angel (7:03): Oh goodness! I suppose if there were mystery boxes about baking, I might be interested. But probably only once.
Youtube
Channel: buzzybeez
Video Title: buying the most expensive mystery box on ebay
Upload Date: July 5, 2019
Video Description: I mean, it does what it says on the tin. Spoiler alert, it was worth the money.
Views: 472,232
Comments: 2,431
Zachari Benson: Oh satan that must have smelled so fucking bad I can’t believe you broke the egg open you are one brave soul
528 likes, 3 dislikesKaren McDonald: Hello there. You seem like a lovely young person, but have you ever considered donating some of your money to charity instead of buying these ridiculously expensive boxes that contain nothing but garbage?
243 likes, 0 dislikesbuzzybeez: @Karen McDonald Actually, half of all my ad revenue goes to the Gender Identity Research & Education Society which is a trans/nonbinary charity here in the UK.
453 likes, 0 dislikes