Chapter Text
The first thing they ever felt was pain.
Hot, pulsing pain that made their muscles and bones scream at them.
They wanted to go back to the oblivion they had just come from.
There’s nothing but pain
Was I created for pain?
They couldn’t remember anything.
Not who they were, not their name, not a single memory was left in their head.
Am I dead?
Their eyes managed to blink open.
A layer of static covered their vision, like an old tv that was malfunctioning, but transparent.
No, not dead, not yet.
Trees surrounded them, their trunks stretched toward the sky while their branches reached down for them.
I'm in a forest?
Breathing hard, they slowly sat up.
Their muscles were sore, as if they had used them past the point of exhaustion.
But they were alone.
Nobody was going to help.
The sun was rising.
So they rose as well.
Their head swam as they stood, so they stumbled to the nearest tree, leaning against it, and heaved whatever their stomach could manage to expel.
Blood.
It dripped onto the leaves below them, staining their teeth red, coating their mouth in the metallic taste.
Am I going to die?
I was just born, I don’t want to die.
Not yet.
With this resolve, they wiped their mouth and straightened themselves. There was nothing but empty woods surrounding them. Picking a direction, they began to walk. They didn’t know where they were going, just that they had to go somewhere else.
They were struck with a compulsion to cover their face, even though they didn’t know what they looked like.
I can figure out why later.
Right now, I need to keep moving.
They couldn’t see very well, they discovered, as the world was blurry no matter how many times they rubbed their eyes. The static didn’t help either, with its constant shifting and movement covering their vision.
They found that looking at the sky for too long made their eyes hurt as well, and looking at the sun was a definite “no”.
But they could still see shapes and colors, and they could hear their surroundings, as well as being able to smell the woods around them.
The birds were chirping, the sun made the sky a beautiful color, and the leaves made a rustling sound as they moved with the breeze.
All together a wonderful day to be born.
They immediately tripped on something poking out from the dirt, landing on their forearms.
Nevermind.
They could feel the hot-pulsing of the bruises forming on their arms, as well as the stinging of their newly acquired scrapes. But they picked themselves up, dusting off what dirt they could from their pants and shirt. The newly spilled blood only mixed with the rest of the old blood and dirt on their skin. They tried to wipe it away but it only smeared, making their forearms a rusty brown color.
That’s an infection waiting to happen.
They must have walked for over an hour when they stopped, already overheated from the warm air. Their hair was long, they noticed, as it stuck to their face and neck, covering their eyes from time to time. It only made them heat up more, but they liked how it somewhat covered their face.
Deciding to take a breather, they dropped themselves against a tree and tried to cool down.
Might as well see what I’m working with.
They were wearing a black sleeveless shirt and cuffed jeans with rips on the knees, but both were dirty, covered in what they assumed was dirt from the forest floor and their own blood.
Their shoes were black and went up to their ankles, with black laces. There was blood on the top of their left shoe from their earlier nausea.
Their arms were covered in blood and dirt as well, so they couldn’t tell what exact skin tone they had. Pulling up their pant leg, they saw that they were pale.
I don’t go outside much, then.
They were overall thin, but when they extended their arms they noticed that they were slightly lean.
I wonder what I did to gain the little muscle I have.
Pulling up their shirt to further inspect themselves, they saw that they had fresh bruises, scrapes, and a few gashes marring their pale skin.
So that’s where the blood came from.
Their rib cage was poking out from beneath their skin, only amplifying their ghastly appearance.
Guess I haven’t eaten in a while.
Their hands were a mess, with dark bruises on their knuckles and blood under their jagged fingernails. The skin on the side of their fingers was scarred, with sections of skin torn.
What happened to me?
It looked like they had fought for their life.
Did I win or lose?
They pulled down their shirt, picking themselves back up again. They were still completely lost in the woods, and they hadn’t seen anybody.
Hopefully I’ll see someone soon
They were already wearing thin.
Hah.
Days passed.
The nights lingered a bit too long.
The sun rose and set.
They stumbled and stood up again.
And again.
And again.
With each sleepless pitch black night that they laid under a tree, they lost their mind piece by piece. They didn’t know if they wanted to wake up, only to wander alone.
They still hadn’t seen a single soul.
Other people exist, right?
They would look up at the night sky that they couldn’t see through the blurriness and static, trying to find constellations that they knew by heart, names and locations that they couldn’t remember learning.
Despite the blurry vision and static, they could still see somewhat well in the dark, but it was mitigated by the fact that the light hurt their eyes in the day.
Sometimes when they closed their eyes to rest they awoke to find themselves in a different patch of trees, as if they somehow were in a different part of the woods without moving.
And there were a few times when they’d feel as if the direction they were walking in led to something bad, so they’d quickly change course. Whatever had been in that direction made their ears ring and made their head throb the closer they got. They didn’t understand why, but they were willing to trust their instincts if it meant staying alive.
Once they had awoken from a quick nap only to get up and run instinctively, their instincts screaming that there was something dangerous coming for them.
There’s monsters here.
But monsters weren’t real.
They didn’t dare stop and turn to confirm, but their skin buzzed as if something was watching them run away.
This place isn’t natural, even if it’s a forest.
Or maybe my mind is dying alongside my body.
Their stomach was hollow, and their throat hurt from the lack of water. Only when their skin stopped buzzing did they stop, completely spent.
I won’t make it much longer like this.
On the third day, when they felt danger in the direction they were walking towards, they didn’t change directions.
I might as well see what it is, I’ll be dead soon anyway.
By the time they got to a clearing, they’d been stumbling, struggling to stay on their feet. They had to blink away the black spots that would creep into their vision so they could see what was in the clearing.
There was a red tower in the middle of it, irregularly shaped and rusted. Something about it made their ears ring slightly, and the static in their vision seemed to buzz a bit more frantically.
But they already had set their sights on one last place to reach before they gave up.
If I’m going to die, it’s gonna be inside the only structure I’ve ever seen.
Maybe my body will be found easier like this, if someone is looking for me.
I hope someone is.
Or maybe I shouldn’t want someone to see my corpse, it will putrefy quickly in this heat, and the bugs will get to me even quicker.
Using the last of their waning strength, they practically crawled to the tower. The inside was hollow, and so they slumped in the shade it provided, letting their back hit the wall with a metallic thunk.
Finally, I can go back to wherever I came from.
They felt their eyes close from exhaustion, and didn’t fight to keep them open.
They slept peacefully for the first and last time.