Chapter Text
Thump… thump… thump…
“Wilde” a Deep voice yelled, instantly jerking me up awake, “god damn it” i exclamed just before more poundings and yelling started coming for the other side of the door, the newspaper slid off from my lap into the floor.
I pulled my pants up with one paw and pulled the toilet chain on the water box overhead with the other, after opened the door and the first thing that i saw was what it looked like a complaint slip on the paw of the chief deputy who stood in front of me.
“Damn it, Finnick” i said to him with annoyed “I told you never to bother me in there, it’s the hottest Thursday in the history of the Tri-burrows and i was having a hell of a dream back there”.
“oooohhhh I’m sorry for wake you up and make your lazy ass to actually do some of the work which we are payed to do” he said full of sarcasm, while wiping some of the sweat from his forehead. Two big half-moons like circles were under the arms of his blue shirt.
Much for my disgust, he was totally right, i shouldn’t be slacking off on my watch “yeah, sorry for that, it´s just that i haven´t had a good sleep night on days” I said while we started to walk back to the office on the other side of the court house.
Said that, he just started laughing like a mad hyena for several seconds, he looked at my face and said “I know it, that rabbit of yours is going to kill you, it´s not possible for you to maintain the rhythm with her on the bed”.
I couldn’t help the growl on my voice “if you want your face like it is right now, then you better shut the fuck up”
His laughing turned to a light chuckle after this thread, he knew that she is off the limits. “anyway there is a complaint from your favorite citizen” he said with a smug grin “De spain want to see you on his place right now” At this, the rage was replaced with a full powered annoyment, the kind that I have specially dedicated to that god damn rabbit “ugh, what does he want now” I groaned while rubbing my temples.
“well… apparently he has got some miscreant he wants you to arrest”
“everyone else around here has desperadoes but De Spain has miscreant. I´ll be so god damn glad when the town council approve my proposal of moving the city limits fifty feet of his place”
“yeah, like that is going to happen” he said with another chuckle.
“I don’t know what else to do Finnick. every time someone farts to loud, he calls me”
And here we are, the marvelous sheriff office which we gotta share with the judge because it’s the courthouse too and they were to cheap-asses to give us our own building. I opened the door to see my four deputies: a wolf named Jimmy, a cougar named William, a horse named christ, I believe, and the new guy, a coyote whose name I cannot remember sitting around whit their feet or hooves propped up on their desks. They rocked forward respectfully while watching me going to the hat pegs, on one of the dowels was an old, sweat-stained hat, under it was my holsters with my twin peacemakers and leaned under there was my pump shotgun wich barrel was sawed just in front of the foregrip so I could handle it easier. And the other peg was an immaculate new round-top Stetson of brown felt whit a snake skin band running around it. that my wife just gave to me for our anniversary.
I took the hat and the holsters, but knowing De Spain, I got the feeling that I didn’t gonna use them. I turned around and I saw the deputies rocked back to their chairs and resumed yakking.
“Finnick, change that damn calendar on your desk” I said at the door “it´s not Wednesday”
“all right, I’ll do it” he said in a gruff way
“and you boys try not to play checkers too loud so you don’t wake the judge up, okay?”
“sure thing, sheriff” they said at the same time.
As I went down the courthouse stairs onto the rock walk I could see the heat emanating from the two cannons that I and the deputies shot three times a year and from the ornamental pyramids of cannonballs on front of each cannon and from the telegraph wires overhead and from rails of the Zootopia express and from pretty much everything on the damn street “why so much fucking heat?” I yelled to no one on particular. I was lucky that nobody was on the streets, anybody with some sense was sleep at their homes with wet towels on their heads, or sitting as still as possible with a funeral-parlor fan in their hands.
“quit your bitching and do your damn job” yelled the fenneck from inside of the courthouse, damn his big ears “yeah, yeah. I´m going” I said whit a little annoy on my voice, sometimes he its worse than my wife.
So, I was walking down the street, whit the worse heat that I heard of, to a dumb reason to be on the street (knowing de De-spain of course). Whit the hope of no one would even tip their hats on my presence (it was too hot for that) until I saw that big ass house of his, I’m sure as hell that we can have a carnival on his backyard. I saw the Ferret who did everything for De-spain opening the gate for me.
“sheriff” he said.
“Luther” I said, nodding my head.
“around back, Mr. Wilde”
There were two kids- two ragedy town rabbits, the strother boy and one of the poor Leaps sitting by the well. The Leaps boy had been crying and I could see why.
De Spain was fuming, he was half dressed and he was pointing a rifle whit a barrel as big as a drain pipe to the kits “don’t think that is necessary De Spain” I pointed to the rifle, how he even can carry that thing is beyond me, “if that gun get off, you would ends on mars by the kick force”
"I didn’t call you her to questioning my force” he said still pointing it to the kits. “I call you here because Luther saw them down in the orchard. I'm sure he saw them stealing my peaches, but he didn’t tell me. I knew something was up when he didn't put my clothes in the usual place next to the window where I like to dress. So, I looked out and saw them. They had half a potato sack full by the time I crept around the house and caught them. I want to charge them with trespass and thievery."
“do you want me to take Luther in for collusion and abetting a crime too” I said while pointing at the ferret. His face didn’t betray any emotion.
“of course not” said De Spain “he is too soft on flinchers but need his help anyway”
This particular rabbit has a face that you couldn’t hit just once, as Finnick has said and I can see why “let’s go boys, you can stop traumatizing them whit your gun now, De Spain”
“what? Aren’t you going to cover them whit your weapon?” he said it like don’t doing it would be like going around naked or something.
“no need for that, besides” I looked to the kits faces, with their red, puffy eyes “they know that trying outrunning me would be useless. I´ll clamp them in the juzgado and have Finnick run the papers over to your office tomorrow morning”
"I wish you'd take them out one of the rural roads somewhere and beat the shit out of them to teach them about property rights," said De Spain.
I can’t believe this cocksucker, the only reason that I didn’t beat him to dead it’s because I worked hard to get this job. “I know you´d like that. But I don’t besides, like I said before, they are traumatized enough” I felt proud of myself since no growl came for my mouth while saying this.
“as long as they don’t come back here to steal” he said, oblivious to my murderous struggle.
“good evening, Mr. De Spain” I turned around and with the kids on front of my, started walking towards the town.
“sheriff”
“Luther”
With enough distance I stopped on my tracks and made the kits look at my face “look boys, I know that was uncalled for, the part of being hold at gun point I mean. but you can’t invade private property and is even worse steal inside of it. So, listen well, cause I gonna say this once” I take a deep inhale and prepare myself to this. Damn, why is has to be this hard. “if I ever hear of either of you stealing something on this county ever again, I’m gonna hunt you down, no matter where you try to hide and put both of you in school”
“No, Sherriff, please no”
“yes, I'll put you in there every morning and come and get you out seven long hours later, and I'll have the judge issue a writ keeping you there till you're twelve years old.” They were crying even more than when they were facing De Spain´s big ass rifle.
“now, get back to your mothers” I had never seen rabbits run that fast before. Sometimes, I really miss face bandits and firefights and all that shit. He, then I remember that cannot afford that life anymore.