Chapter Text
human candycane added Toyota Nissan, #1 disappointment, and fire proof babeyy to a group chat
human candycane changed the chat name to endeavor’s worst nightmare
Toyota Nissan: I can respect that
fire proof babeyy: shouto I’m literally teaching rn
fire proof babeyy: aren’t you in class???
human candycane: is that the only problem you’re worried about with this
#1 disappointment: shouto you should really pay attention in class
Toyota Nissan: education is important lil bro
human candycane: you are the last person I want to hear that from
Toyota Nissan: I’m literally a living example as to why education is important
human candycane: nastuo goes to college but he still buys weed with dad’s money
#1 disappointment: some of us don’t have quirks to disappoint our father with so we make do
Toyota Nissan: natsuo why does our little brother know what weed is
#1 disappointment: dude he’s like 16
#1 disappointment: also I have the same plug as his teacher and one of his classmates
Toyota Nissan: omfg I’m not even surprised eraserhead is a stoner
human candycane: hey what do you guys think dad would do if I dyed my hair pink
Toyota Nissan: do it do it do it do it do it do it
#1 disappointment: do it do it do it do it do it do it
fire proof babeyy: please don’t use a box dye
human candycane: that did not answer my question
Toyota Nissan: it would make him so angry
human candycane: good >:)
#1 disappointment: I’d join you but I am actually trying to stay in med school
human candycane: boo lame
fire proof babeyy: shouto I can and will text midnight and tell her you’re on your phone in her class
human candycane: we are unpacking ALL of that when I get out of class
fire proof babeyy: no we are not
#1 disappointment: oh yes we are
Toyota Nissan: oh yes we are
human candycane: touya why didn’t you kill Bakugou when you had the chance
Toyota Nissan: the loud kid we kidnapped?
human candycane: yeh
Toyota Nissan: didn’t really have a reason to
Toyota Nissan: he never would have joined us either he’s too in love with that deku kid
human candycane: he’s what
Toyota Nissan: ohoho?
#1 disappointment: ohoho?
fire proof babeyy: ohoho?
human candycane: no he is in love kirishima
human candycane: fuyumi why do you have minight’s number?
fire proof babeyy: emergencies
Toyota Nissan: she said that too fast you said that too fast
#1 disappointment: omfg are we all gay
human candycane: yes did you not know that
Toyota Nissan: how did you know I am?
#1 disappointment: you were a theater kid
human candycane: OMFG
human candycane: …there is a drama club here
Toyota Nissan: pls shouto you must continue my legacy
human candycane: of course
fire proof babeyy: …should we be worried?
human candycane: oh so you’re worried now but not when I asked our brother why he didn’t kill one of my classmates?
fire proof babeyy: …should we be worried about that?
human candycane: every time he calls me icyhot I feel more of my morals slip away
human candycane: but I probably won’t do anything
#1 disappointment: PROBABLY
fire proof babeyy: omfg touya look what you’ve done
Toyota Nissan: um I don’t recall ever encouraging murder
Toyota Nissan: it’s “damaging to your criminal record” and “illegal” and “morally wrong” or some shit
human candycane: a true shame
Toyota Nissan: truly
fire proof babeyy: am I the only one here not down for murder???
Toyota Nissan: woah woah since when is natsuo down for murder?? He’s in med school
#1 disappointment: idk dude somewhere between you faking your death and mom burning shouto’s face I decided we’d all be better off with dad being dead
Toyota Nissan: I am… so proud
fire proof babeyy: THAT IS NOT SOMETHING TO BE PROUD OF
#1 disappointment: fuyumi I have literally never had anyone proud of me before let me have this
fire proof babeyy: I’M PROUD OF YOU
fire proof babeyy: YOU’RE GETTING THROUGH MED SCHOOL BY YOURSELF
fire proof babeyy: AS FAR AS I CARE YOU’RE GOING TO BE THE ONLY TRUE HERO AMUNGST US
fire proof babeyy: you have worked a thousand times harder than the rest of us to get where you are and despite everything you’ve been put through you’re actually doing something to help others where it really matters
fire proof babeyy: that is something to be incredibly proud of and dad is an absolute fool for ever looking over you
#1 disappointment: but shouto is becoming an actual hero I’m just me
human candycane: yeah but I don’t really want to be here
human candycane: you know who you are and who you want to be and you’re doing everything you can to become the best version of yourself
human candycane: I wish I were half the hero you’re becoming
Toyota Nissan: anything you do that isn’t murder is better than me so like good job bud
fire proof babeyy: is that the most we’re gonna get out of you?
Toyota Nissan: yah
#1 disappointment: guys I’m literally sobbing
Toyota Nissan: it’s true he is
#1 disappointment: rude
#1 disappointment: wait
Toyota Nissan: oops
#1 disappointment: ARE YOU SPYING ON ME????
Toyota Nissan: yes??? I spy on all three of you???
human candycane: oh that’s not good UA is looking for the traitor
Toyota Nissan: well I don’t spy on you much anymore bc UA decided to up their game
Toyota Nissan: but what traitor???
human candycane: oh good there is no traitor then
Toyota Nissan: lol yeah no the only kid we trust is toga
human candycane: I don’t like her
Toyota Nissan: you don’t like her bc she’s obsessed w deku
Toyota Nissan: for some reason
#1 disappointment: um can we get back to the part where touya is outside my window and isn’t even gonna say hi
Toyota Nissan: um fake I throw rocks at your window to irritated you
#1 disappointment: fuck you
#1 disappointment: GOD DAMMIT
human candycane: oop
#1 disappointment: HE HIT ME IN THE FOREHEAD
Toyota Nissan: in my defense I didn’t plan on you opening the window to yell at me
human candycane: nice shot
fire proof babeyy: nice shot
Toyota Nissan: thank you thank you
Toyota Nissan: for my next act I’m going to move the furniture in dad’s room slightly to the left
fire proof babeyy: oh damn it sure would be a shame if I accidentally left his bedroom window open
fire proof babeyy: and I sure hope no villain finds out that he’s not going to get home until sometime between midnight and one in the morning
Toyota Nissan: I feel like that’s not something I should know how can you trust me
fire proof babeyy: I’m the only one here so do your worst
fire proof babeyy: I’m fire proof babeyy
human candycane: pls don’t actually burn our house down
Toyota Nissan: I said what I was gonna do and nothing else
human candycane: okay cool thanks
#1 disappointment: so are we going to unpack fuyumi not caring if the house burns down
fire proof babeyy: ngl I’ve always wanted to know if I could withstand touya’s fire
Toyota Nissan: … wat
fire proof babeyy: oh we have like opposite quirks
fire proof babeyy: I can make ice and my skin can’t get burned
Toyota Nissan: can I take your skin
human candycane: can I take your skin
human candycane: ah well I guess touya needs it more
Toyota Nissan: thanks
human candycane: np
fire proof babeyy: NO ONE GETS MY SKIN
Toyota Nissan: boo lame
human candycane: boo lame
fire proof babeyy: dad keeps hitting his furniture and it’s so fucking funny
Toyota Nissan: good >:)
human candycane: good >:)
#1 disappointment: good >:)
Toyota Nissan: he’s not gonna suspect you will he?
fire proof babeyy: no I have never done anything wrong ever
human candycane: #fake
human candycane: you took the last cookie the last time I was home
fire proof babeyy: and it was so worth it
human candycane: hey touya how do I become a villian
Toyota Nissan: IM WHEEZING
#1 disappointment: LMAOOOOO
fire proof babeyy: damn so that was the last straw huh oops
Toyota Nissan: sorry bub but you gotta be 17 to become a villian
human candycane: damn guess I’ll stay here then
#1 disappointment: KJHFAFLAJSDFL
human candycane: that keysmash isn’t gay enough
#1 disappointment: I’m bi
human candycane: ah carry on then
Toyota Nissan: AKDJFHALDSKF
human candycane: much better
fire proof babeyy: who are you the gay police
human candycane: no I don’t like the police
#1 disappointment: YOU ARE LITERALLY IN SCHOOL TO BE UPGRADED POLICE
human candycane: I can’t become a villain until im 17 touya-nii said so
Toyota Nissan: omfg what have I done
fire proof babeyy: I can’t believe you made our little brother think becoming a villain is an option for him
human candycane: don’t crush my dreams :((
fire proof babeyy: I hate it here how do I leave
#1 disappointment: you don’t >:)
Toyota Nissan: you don’t >:)
Fire proof babeyy: shit
