Chapter Text
It all had to begin when the young and shy journalist Shuichi Saihara was assigned to write an article about Kokichi Oma, the famous and mysterious actor.
It was the trigger, the push the two men needed to meet each other, and inevitably develop a deeper relationship with time. It seemed like a twisted and disturbing destiny from the outside: a poor paparazzo following a cushy celebrity, trying to find a humiliating scoop or a dirty past to write a juicy review, destroying the star’s reputation, popularity, and bring their shining light into darkness, pain and finally oblivion. Yet somehow it wonderfully worked out between them, and the idea of earning money out of their private life for one, or seeking revenge for snoopily stalking them for the other, was fast forgotten once they personally encountered one another. Perhaps in different circumstances they could have gotten even closer, even if inherently it was thanks to their respective jobs that they found each other in the first place.
And it was also inherently because of the nature of their work that an unsaid doubt and dire distrust was still lingering in the air between them, that would lead both to the heartache they eventually went through, despite their efforts to fight their fears.
Shuichi was called in by his boss, the one who gave him the job to gather any possible compromising information about Kokichi. That day the sky was darkly covered, and a chilly wind howled outside freezing every unfortunate passerby to the bone. Shuichi remembered that fact, because he recalled the lonely steamy coffee mug that was throning on a big and messy stack of articles laying lazily on top of a chaotic desk. It was the most interesting object in that room, Shuichi just stared at the moving air for minutes which felt like hours while ignoring his boss’s barking.
The man aimlessly rambled about the details and expectations of his work, without paying much attention to Shuichi’s impatient breathing. He waved around his fat and heavy arms, and jabbed loudly, like deafening construction sites. The reporter mentally prepared himself for the tiring burden that he soon would have to face and gritted his teeth discreetly while gazing away from his obnoxious employer to keep his frustration in. He glanced all around the room until he noticed the drink which’s admiration made his time pass faster.
“Kokichi Oma… You know, these types of people always hide skeletons in their closet. And YOU will find them, got that? I count on you, you rarely disappoint me Shuichi.” The boss babbled the disgusting charade, as he always did for Shuichi’s dismay.
The reporter nodded half-heartedly and put on his best poker face to not seem disrespectful in presence of his superior. He did not know much about Kokichi since he did not watch movies often. But despite his ignorance on the subject, he still could not miss out on hearing about the new famous actor who suddenly rose to the top and played in multiple renown series and films. The talk about him was incessant, it was as if the man appeared in every TV show possible, with flashy promotions and ridiculous banter that almost gave Shuichi a headache.
Yet, just like his boss said, it was undeniable that something was going on behind the scenes; Kokichi’s success had to originate from somewhere. But instead of explaining it with the false logic his boss displayed, the journalist was looking for more tangible proof, even if it was mostly based on his hunch too. He sensed that Kokichi’s attitude was fake while he was on air with his wide Cheshire cat-like grin that enraptured all the viewers and led them into a rabbit hole of fantasy and admiration. It felt as if he was constantly lying but in a way that only the reporter seemed to perceive, which was disheartening for him who was not swayed away by the illusion.
However, Shuichi did not care about the actor’s secret, nor about the untrue smile the one brimmed on screen. It was none of his business and he certainly did not wish to blow energy on a problem that did not concern him directly. But for his unluck, he worked in a people magazine, and it was his job to pry into star’s privacy to sell it for good money. And since he was the one assigned to delve into the celebrity’s history out of all his colleagues, he had to start forcefully dig into the matter, hopefully finding a diamond in the mine of Kokichi’s past.
He glanced at the picture of the star that was pinned on the billboard as one of the future themes that the magazine would cover in the next issue. He was staring directly at the camera, with a radiant smile and a simple kind hand gesture as if he greeted the public cheering for him. He looked like any other celebrity, if not a little flashier and prideful. The journalist’s heart sank as he stared into the man’s irises which were peering through him, making him feel guilty. He was the next unfortunate victim that he had to selfishly take down, despite not having any reason to do so. He was the next innocent person that just got the chance to shine in the light with their hard-work and determination who the reporter had to break and dissect to present his hidden secrets to the world. He was the next.
While Shuichi mentally prepared himself to follow a stranger and try to take a sickening picture of them to get paid, his boss dismissed him and nearly pushed him out of his office inconsiderately. The reporter sighed shakily but got himself a camera instead of wondering yet again why he was doing this unpleasant job. He motivated himself with the thought that the sooner he found something about that unlucky celebrity, the sooner he could move on to write less problematic articles which did not involve in destroying people’s hardly built up carriers.
After asking for the needed help from his highly connected friends and their gigs, Shuichi fortunately found out where the actor went out for entertainment on that hectic night. He drove to the given location without delay trying to concentrate on something else than his weighing conscience and bothered heart. He shoved his feelings aside like he always did and concentrated on his job, comparing the impression to the one of a patient’s, who must swallow the bitter pill to be over with the pain. With a bit of luck, very soon he would not need to be forced to do this type of work to survive anymore, but he could finally live once he quit this wretched magazine and pursued his dream. He was so close now; he just needed a little bit more time.
He drove near the infamous bar which was welcoming the young unsuspecting teens in the partying district, if anyone could call the neighborhood that way. Apparently, the actor was inside, unsuspecting that a paparazzo was tailing him like a predator cat ready to catch the sneaky mouse. He parked on the other side of the busy road, having a clear view of the entrance in front of him. He carefully placed his camera, angling it to get the best shot of the exit, and leaned on the windowsill waiting patiently for the celebrity to leave the club.
The bar’s flashing neon rays reverberated on the wet hood of the car, and through the rain dropped windshield, blinded Shuichi with purple and blueish lights, as if they were the sun and life of the night filled avenue. The street was loud and noisy, and despite the worst cacophony being shielded by the car, Shuichi’s ears were still ringing achingly because of the harshly resonating noises. He watched the swarming crowds heading in and out of the place either tipsy or drunk, standing barely on their feet and singing dissonantly into each other’s ears.
The reporter hissed realizing that even if he took a picture of Kokichi in this weather and with this many people around, it would most likely turn out blurry and unusable. He tapped the steering wheel rhythmically to the radio’s boring pop music, that was buzzing through the whole engine a displeasing and saturated sound, as he was procrastinating his decision to stay or not. He made up his mind and was about to leave and try his luck another day discouraged by the circumstances, when suddenly he noticed the celebrity waddling out of the club, uncontrollably laughing followed by a lightly dressed blond lady.
He clearly had a few shots from the color of his face and was completely unaware of his surroundings because of his lightheadedness. He looked like a lost child, looking for the hem of his mother’s clothes completely powerless and defenseless but mostly pitiful. He achingly closed his eyes when raindrops landed into his unprotected irises, which for some reason made him howl in a drunk laughter together with the mysterious woman.
Shuichi rolled his eyes and did not wish to imagine what probably happened inside that club, that left Kokichi in that pathetic state. Nonetheless, it was a once in a lifetime chance to catch him off guard while he was this inattentive, not to mention that he was with a woman which could make a nice scandal on its own.
The journalist bit his lips hesitantly, staring at the actor for long silent seconds, who was currently trying to find his balance and not blatantly fall headfirst on the concrete. The reporter knew he had to put his emotions aside, as disgraceful as his job was, this was his means to stay alive, he could do nothing about it. He knew he would do it; he would follow them, take that picture, write the article, and ruin their lives like he always did. He just needed his usual preparation, to see for himself who he was crushing mercilessly this time. He repeatedly convinced himself that Kokichi Oma was just one of his unfortunate victims, and he needed to do this, not against the actor, but for his own survival.
Shuichi mumbled a sorry, as he swiftly got out of his stuffy vehicle, grabbing his sturdy camera along the way, and blended into the lively crowd to carefully follow the star and his companion unnoticeably. He focused on his objective, and noted that with that many people around, it was nearly impossible for him to take a good shot at the celebrity, especially without getting his cover blown. But Shuichi remained tranquil and knew that he simply needed to wait to get the best picture of the man without arousing suspicion. He followed the two while acting natural, scanning each of their movements attentively, also making sure to keep a good distance between him and his targets. He felt like a sniper at war, ready to apathetically shoot down his victims simply and easily, leaving a clean and professional mark.
After a couple of minutes of walking behind the pair and attempting to snoop on their unfolding conversation, suddenly, Shuichi ran into a small old lady due to his inadvertence. Luckily, nothing much happened, he did not push her too hard, however the woman seemed madder than what he wished she would be over such a trivial issue.
“Young man, what do you think you are doing, are you out of your mind?!” She screamed outraged with a deafeningly high tone, turning towards him in fury, while attracting unwanted glances.
“I-I’m sorry.” He simply mumbled with a rapid bow, sweating before the hundred eyes fixated on him.
He hated this unnerving attention, but he could not afford to stress over it when he was in the middle of a mission. He excused himself again to the uncalming lady, and decided to just leave her as she was, and headed away in a hurry, scanning through the people yet again to locate the two with an anguish growing within him.
But just as he suspected, the little distraction was long enough for him to lose sight of Kokichi and the mysterious woman who was with him, as he only saw swarms of unfamiliar faces tumult around him like waves in a restless ocean. He panickily peered everywhere to no avail and he hissed annoyed by this wasted golden opportunity, even if deep inside he was glad that that he could postpone his misdeed, his crime. He looked around for a sign, like a disorientated ship searching for a lighthouse’s ray to show him the way in the tempest, but he found none as he stood there like a lamppost, not sure what to do next, rubbing his temple. Finally, he decided to decamp for that day and try another time in hope of more success.
However, fate reserved him different plans, as all of a sudden he felt a forceful grip yank him by the hem of his shirt and pull him into an empty abandoned alleyway without anyone noticing the unfolding abduction to save him. But before he could start his prayers, light tingling words interrupted his thoughts that he immediately recognized from the shows he watched recently.
“My, my do tell me. Are you an obsessed fan or one of those stupid paparazzi?” A cheerful yet icy voice inquired him mercilessly, sending Shuichi shivers down his spine.
The reporter turned back abruptly sweating in worry, as he was face to face with Kokichi Oma, the famous actor who was clearly in an irked mood despite the wide and pretended grin on his face. The moment he saw the celebrity, it was as if time slowed down around him. He could nearly notice the raindrops flop in slow motion around the annoyed star who was staring back at him, squinting.
Kokichi was short, tiny even, a lot smaller than he had imagined. The tips of his silky hair were dyed purple, in the same hue as his amethyst eyes that were twinkling serenely in the averse. His cheeks were porcelain pale, they looked as if a tiny touch could break them into pieces, yet at the very same time seemed smooth and soft like cloudy pillows. Kokichi overall looked like a precious doll that one would keep on their nightstand and stare at its beauty first thing in the soothing morning’s light. Shuichi’s heart skipped a beat as he acknowledged that the actor looked a lot more handsome in real life than he did on screen, and the realization made him uncontrollably blush like poppy flowers, even if at that moment anything mattered more than this fractious attraction to his physique.
What also made him fluster further was the fact that he got caught red-handed. Embarrassment was a euphemism to express his discomfort, he wanted to get swallowed by the ground and disappear forever. Even in his everyday life he had trouble talking to strangers, and this occasion was no exception, if not worse because of his anxious shame. Kokichi’s waiting with an impatient glance only made it worse, and he bit his lips while fidgeting uneasy.
As the journalist’s heart was pounding like drums, he did not know in what order to process his flashing thoughts that clouded his mind. All this was too hasty for him, he was confused on what to do. He knew that he should have run far away, or at least answer the actor’s question, but not a sound came out his mouth and none of his muscles budged. It was as if Kokichi turned him into a stone statue and blurred his clear ideas into incoherent masses swirling in his head. Despite it defying all logic and common sense, Shuichi felt that he needed to stay, and the incoherence made his brain short-circuit.
“Wowie, that’s some professional equipment you have there, mister! You definitely aren’t just a random fan.” The star exclaimed before he could do anything, pointing at the camera that was dangling in Shuichi’s neck like a bell, “Tell me where you work, I want to buy your next issue! I totes want to see what story you came up with.” He mocked gleefully, clapping his hands together noisily.
Shuichi blinked twice still dysfunctional, but at least woken up from his shock, as some of his senses obeyed him again. He gazed at the celebrity dumbfounded, needless to say, he was not good with unexpected situations, and not only the circumstances, but also the actor’s actions were unconventional.
Kokichi furrowed his brows and now genuinely looked angry at his lack of reaction as he sent darts with his eyes piercing though Shuichi’s irises like a hunter killing his prey.
“Cat stole your ton—”
“I’m sorry!” Shuichi interrupted him abruptly with a yell and bowed apologetically for the second time that day.
He stayed motionless in that position, surprised by his own immediate reaction, but understanding quickly that he was honestly feeling regretful for his misdeed, and the guilt pushed him to act instinctively. Not only for Kokichi, but for all the people he could not atone to, and whose lives he ruined. The actor’s direct contact with him was in a way the only means for him to symbolically beg pardon to the others. He gulped and shut his eyes closed, clenching his fists white, yet felt just a tiny bit relieved. He completely understood the celebrity’s irritated attitude and was ready to face the dreadful consequences for his punishable misbehavior.
However, Kokichi was taken aback by his reply, and slowly started to giggle in confusion.
“You.. hum… What are you doing?”
Shuichi slightly lifted his head to glance at him pained, letting his messy and wet hair fall in front of his saddened eyes.
“I’m… apologizing.” He underlined quietly as if it was not crystal clear already by his previous words.
There was a small pause lingering in between the two, filled with the gentle flops of the rain on the cemented ground. It was almost weighingly awkward as none moved due to their respective confusion and astonishment.
However, Kokichi suddenly started chortling surprised, then laughed almost too harshly for the situation, completely dumbfounding the journalist. The actor let his shiny teeth show in his mouth as he let out a nearly hiccup-like chuckle which Shuichi did not miss. Not only was the reporter taken aback because of the weird answer coming from the amused celebrity, but also because for the first time ever since he had seen him on TV, he sensed that the actor was showing a genuine and glad response. His happiness was rough, unpolished, uncontrolled, but it felt true and human, he was not forcing on a pretense like he did for anyone else. Kokichi’s slender shoulders were shaking from excitement and exhilaration, as he fakely smudged away an amused tear before he began:
“That was supposed to be your cue to run away like all paparazzi do, not… act polite towards me?” He informed the reporter smiling widely as if it was common sense, “Because you know, you did something wrong and you don’t want me to report you to the police?”
“Oh but you have all the right to do so, I did nearly invade your privacy.” Shuichi replied standing up straight again, underlining that he understood why the actor believed that he would elope once caught, “However, you have no proof to accuse me with since I did not take a picture of you yet, so you most likely would have lost that case. Unless you have extra good lawyers, and they somehow incriminate me for something I haven’t done.” He rambled an explanation panickily, not knowing all too well himself what and why he was doing so, “Wait, you aren’t recording this conversation, are you? That would be a bigger problem…”
Kokichi shook his head still guffawing, this time hiding his smile behind his hand as if it was not clear enough that he was having fun with the reporter and his bizarre actions. This simple movement of shielding his face told Shuichi everything about the true colors the man was currently displaying, confirming all his theories about his natural everyday fakeness. The contrast between his persona on TV and the one in front of him was noticeable and made Shuichi’s heart skip a beat.
“You are something else, oh my lord, I can’t.” He was still wheezing but he shortly tried to get himself together, “Not only you don’t run away, but you also apologize, and then you talk to me about laws and such. I’ve never met a paparazzo like you.” He mumbled to himself without hiding it much from the journalist who heard every bit of it.
“I mean, yes, said like that it does sound weird…” Shuichi acknowledged scratching the back of his neck diverting his gaze, worrying internally at how much he ridiculed himself.
He remained silent while blushing due to the whole situation, not being prone to show flustered emotions on a regular basis either. Kokichi closed in tilting his head and looked up at his lowered face cutely, with the widest and prettiest of grins. This made the reporter jump back in surprise which did not startle the actor who took a long step towards him again, showing a sweet curious expression which made him even more radiant than before. Shuichi felt as if he was a little fairy following his lead with twinkling powder blessing him with his adorable beauty.
“Hey, how about we get a drink together? We are kind of drenched, so something warm would be good, don’t you think? And I would die for a good coffee right now, what about you?” Kokichi inquired continuously with a smirk, flapping his long lashes pleadingly under the freezing averse.
Shuichi was not a man to follow unplanned situations, he rarely listened to his instincts and almost never did anything on a whim. Yet at that moment, he found himself accepting the actor’s sudden offer, bewitched by his presence, with his heart drumming hardly in his tightened rib cage.
The next minute the reporter found himself sitting in a warm coffee shop face to face with Kokichi who was leaning on his arm, observing closely each of his movements and eye battements.
As Shuichi glanced around to avoid the direct and discomforting eye contact with the actor, he noticed that the place was quite cozy. The lightly beige walls were welcoming and appeasing, the few plants gave a familiar and adorable tone to the café and the wooden floor fitted the scenery perfectly. A sweet cinnamon scent filled the air, enrapturing everyone into familiarly nostalgic memories. He found it surprising that there were not a lot of people inside, especially in this weather which would force one to find shelter in these kinds of heated shops. At least it was quiet, the only ambient melody was the charming music played by an old jazz vinyl as well as the occasional sound of coffee brewing.
Shuichi lifted the porcelain cup to his shivering lips and sipped on his hot drink after blowing on it gently watching the forming ripples on the surface of his beverage. He gulped down the liquid and let the burning yet calming sensation run through his system and fill him with warmness, resting him and his thumping heart.
He was in a remote booth with Kokichi hidden from the sight of the rare other clients. The actor probably chose this specific placement to avoid getting interrupted by disrespectful fans and their lousy needs, or even to prevent any paparazzi shotting a picture of them together. The thought made Shuichi cringe but as soon as he swallowed down another gulp of his sweetened coffee, he soon forgot the idea like an unwanted nightmare.
“Sooo tell me who are you actually?” Kokichi interrupted his thoughts with a childish inquiry dangling his legs under the table rhythmically to the tempo of the song playing in the background.
“Huh?”
“What’s your name?” The actor phrased it differently with a wider grin, making the journalist feel stupid, like a student unable to answer the teacher’s question, “It’s not fair that I don’t know your name, don’t you think?”
“Oh! Hum… I’m Shuichi Saihara.” The reporter stuttered clenching harder on his cup, burning his fingers painfully.
“Shuichi Saihara…” He repeated, nodding gravely, before suddenly snickering demonically, “I’ll take note of that, and make sure to blacklist you from all of my events you crazy pervert!”
“Wh-what!” Yelped the concerned with ogling eyes, nearly spilling his drink in his frantic panic as he straightened himself the matter of seconds.
“Just kidding!” Kokichi chuckled whole-heartedly, puzzling Shuichi yet again, “I got you there, didn’t I? Actually, how about I give you a VIP seating so you can take better pictures of me? I want to be seen in my best angle please.” He rambled on winking at the reporter, happily posing like a diva to underline his point.
Shuichi blinked twice, not sure what to get off from this interaction. It all seemed very foreign and too fast for him, but for his defense, he did not talk to stars every day either… For now, he decided to close off his mind and tackle each aspect as it came instead of questioning everything that weirded him out, despite it making him feel lost and uncomfortable.
After the unneeded commotion, Kokichi dried himself with a towel he asked from the counter, rubbing himself in the pleasant cloth. The humid drops were still glistening on his smooth skin as he ruffled his hair to not catch a cold. He looked like an adorable and abandoned puppy, as he curled up into the soft fabric looking for comfort and warmth.
“Want me to put your scarf on the heater?” Shuichi offered, since he was also standing up to bring back the rags.
“Nah I’m good. It’s my lucky charm you see, I would never get it off even for the death of me.” He smiled patting his wet checkered bandana as if it were a pet, “But here my coat does need some drying.”
Shuichi could not force him to do otherwise, so he just let him keep the drenched hankie wrapped around his neck, hoping that he would not catch a cold because of it. As he left to return the towels to the owners, he noticed belatedly that Kokichi did not seem like the type to be superstitious, or at least he looked quite pragmatic from the few interviews he had seen of the actor. Yet claimed the object to have superior powers, which was quite out of character for him... Maybe he was also lying about this side of him in front of the cameras?
Despite feeling august by the thought of knowing more about him than an average person watching his shows, the reporter did not think much about it since he was more focused on the current situation than his tiny remarks. He simply sat down again, and turned the cup in his nervous hands, not sure what to do next.
Lost in thought, the journalist observed Kokichi for a while, who gulped down his hot drink in the matter of seconds, which was quite impressive and frightening. He licked his soft lips with his thin tongue, smudging away the stubborn stains that were left around his mouth and put down the emptied mug in front of him, proud of his accomplishment. He gazed up at Shuichi noticing his intense staring, to which the anxious reporter began a conversation blushing, to avoid the weighing, awkward silence.
“Hum Kokichi… May I ask why you invited me here?” He wondered, while shyly lowering his head as if he were talking to himself or were ashamed of his question.
He indeed just could not wrap his finger around the reason why the star would ever want to engage with the person who could potentially and easily ruin his life with a few dreadful shots and a couple of cunning words. Interacting with the likes of him was nearly a suicidal mission for a celebrity; after all, Shuichi could gather information about the actor in the matter of seconds and create the most sensationally hurtful article of the current star with them in less than an hour. He had no idea how he could stay so laid-back in his presence, when he himself was restless merely by the thought of the media’s power and capacity to induct misinformation into the masses’ head.
But not only was the actor chill and cool like a seaside breeze but was also unnaturally ecstatic by their exchange so far. Kokichi was acting as if they were long-time friends, almost unable to stay put, though they had met just a few minutes ago. He was displaying a strangely smiley side of him, teasing the reporter cheekily, enjoying each of his reactions like a kid dragging around his toy in a playground.
Shuichi was definitely perplexed by his behavior, but he also found himself intrigued by it, much more personally than his job should have let him feel. Notably because the actor’s entertainment did not feel false nor forced like he sensed before. In fact, it was precisely because of the inconsistency of Kokichi on TV and real life Kokichi that he accepted to have a drink with him, curious to find out the reason he was looser around him than the cameras.
“Well, that’s simple. I wanted to extort information about you and then sell your kidneys on the black market.” He playfully fibbed as if it were the most normal thing to do, making Shuichi crease his forehead.
“You—”
“That’s a lie though! I just find you hilarious and wanted to get to know you more. Don’t look too much into every little thing I do, even if it’s quite flattering to get so much attention.”
Shuichi sighed tired as Kokichi guffawed again, letting a weird but cute “Nishishi” leave his mouth. Despite the actor making it hard to proceed in a logical manner, the journalist did not specially find the pranking annoying; he just braced himself for what may follow during this unpredictable night. If the celebrity was having fun with his jokes, Shuichi did not mind him doing them. Actually, as bizarre as it may have sounded, the reporter wanted the actor to feel comfortable in his presence.
“I’m not that funny though.” Shuichi informed him arching a brow, implying the obviousness of his claim, “I am usually called stuck-up or boring, sometimes even by my close friends.”
Kokichi checked him from head to toe, as if such character trait were written on the body. The reporter was amused by the thought that he could get out a sign and write “I’m boring” on it, just to inform the people around him about his personality. But on a more serious note, he was trying to push the actor to tell him the real reason for his curiosity about Shuichi, or else the reporter could not conceive the unbelievable and unexplainable circumstances that were currently unfolding.
“You do look like a pushover.” Kokichi concluded, and acknowledged his words, nodding intensely which made Shuichi roll his eyes in exasperation and habit, “But I have to disagree with the dull part.”
The journalist looked at him doubtfully, entailing that he did not need to be falsely reassured by his obvious lie. He was not a kid anymore, and he did not care much about others’ opinions, especially not from some stranger.
Noticing his glance, Kokichi laughed and waved his hand around to show his disapproval, indicating that he did not spout untruths this time.
“Come on, you are a fricking paparazzo in a café with a celebrity, having a night coffee, don’t you find that unbelievable? Who could ever brag about that besides you, huh?” He exclaimed pointing Shuichi as a whole, then himself to prove his words.
The reporter instinctively and disgustfully scowled at the calling, but he could not deny the name he was given. God, did he wish he could do anything better at that moment. A miffed grunt escaped his mouth which Kokichi probably did not notice.
“That’s the situation, not me. These circumstances are funny, I can admit that much.” Grumbled Shuichi, taking another sip, gazing crossly at the star, since he still did not get a clear answer to his initial question, “And could you not call me paparazzo?”
The last sentence just slipped out unwillingly, he did not necessarily mean Kokichi to know about his personal issues regarding his job. But as the mistake was made, the actor gasped surprised and excited, and almost started jumping on his seat, which puzzled Shuichi.
“Oooh why paparazzo? Hm? Why, why why?”
“Oh my god, cut it out, will you? It’s none of your business. And I told you not to—" He groaned but got interrupted by the loud reaction.
“Na-huh, paparazzo! I’ll call you like that until you tell me! So come on, talk paparazzo!” Snickered the little demon, squinting his devilish eyes at Shuichi.
“Fine! Just shut up.” Fussed the reporter, sighing loudly like a train letting out steam, exasperated by his childishness, “It’s nothing special, I just find this job ridiculous. I don’t understand how people could be interested in these half-cooked shitty rumors, to the point that they spend money on them.” He rolled his eyes, shaking his head in disbelief, “But hey, I don’t have a choice, I have to earn a living somehow. It’s only temporary anyway, until I can finally fulfill my dream.”
Before he could even finish talking, Shuichi already felt that he shared unnaturally too much information about himself to Kokichi, and his monologue was going out of hand, altering completely the topic he was curious about.
But strangely, at that very moment, he did not mind deviating from the initial subject. He was pissed off by everything; his job, his failure, the rain, and once the actor pushed him to the edge, he knew he could not stop his venting half-way. He did not know why he felt so at ease in the celebrity’s presence, to the point that he told him his troubles, but somehow it just happened. It was peculiar to not keep to himself like he usually did, but at the same time a new delight rose within him as he let the words stream out his mouth like an unstoppable river.
“I also don’t see the point in digging up other people’s secrets and sell them without their accord. Who ever thought that it would be a genius idea? People really have nothing better to do with their lives now, do they?” The reporter heard his own unstructured babble as anger slowly raced in his veins, boiling up his body pleasantly, “And my boss, oh my goodness gracious… ‘When someone catches the eye, they also get unwanted attention. Therefore, it’s normal to stalk them and keep the world informed about when they go pooping. It’s preferable to know the time they spent in the stall too, to deduce if it was piss or crap they were releasing.’” He imitated his voice sarcastically, in a high pitched, irritable, and posh-like tone while mimicking his grotesque movements, which made Kokichi snicker loudly.
Seeing the actor entertained by his fiasco took Shuichi aback, he assumed that people, especially someone as well off as Kokichi, would have hated hearing others’ complaining and would try to change the topic as soon as possible. He was beginning to wonder if perhaps Kokichi did not purposely annoy him to finally free himself from his suffocating urges that he obviously kept inside for so long. From what he knew of the man, it would not have surprised him if the star was perceptive enough to notice and would try to act according to it. If so was the case, then Shuichi could only be grateful to have been given this opportunity to open up and be listened to. It astonished him how Kokichi took lengths to not only make it seem natural and help him, but also make sure to keep his persona at the same time.
He glanced for confirmation at the celebrity, who crossed his intense gaze, piercing through his look with his brooding amethyst eyes. It felt like time slowed down for Shuichi, as it became crystal clear for him that it was indeed for this very reason that the actor was nudging the reporter, knowing all too well that hiding one’s emotions only weighed and hurt on the long run. He gulped in disbelief, feeling a certain slow elation rise within him, which filled his system with a pleasant heat. He admired Kokichi’s surprisingly considerate side, that rare were those who showed him.
What was more astonishing was that it somehow seemed as if the actor understood and even related to his situation to some extent. His mischievous peering with his kindly twinkling irises, made it undeniable for the reporter that this was indeed the message Kokichi tried to forward him without saying it out loud with words. He was telling him that it was no biggie, that he understood all too well that the journalist sacrificed his dignity for his dream, that he was not a paparazzo by choice. It almost seemed like wishful thinking, but there was no hesitation possible.
As weird as their kind of telepathy sounded, the journalist was certain that this man he met merely a few minutes ago was reassuring him like no one ever did in his life.
But for some reason he also started to laugh, not out of self-pity like he usually did, but genuinely out of amusement and freeness. Even though Shuichi personally knew nothing about the celebrity that everyone idolized, despite it lacking any kind of logic, he felt at ease by his side. Just as absurd as it was for the actor to enjoy the journalist’s presence, making the reporter slightly believe in fate or destiny. Kokichi turned his boring duty into a fun hangout so simply it baffled him, yet it felt natural and right.
Shuichi wanted to say “thank you”, but declaring a statement like that from out of the blue would have been peculiar, even if both were aware where it came from. So instead, he racked his throat before joining the actor in his game a little clumsily, pretending he did not notice his kind deed.
“Just so you know, I am not usually like that… I just have a personal grudge against gossip, and it suddenly came out now…” Shuichi explained putting a hand in front of himself as if to reassure Kokichi and show that he told the truth.
“I can see that. It’s indeed a weird field to choose if you despise rumors.” He nodded still with a grin, which however was not mocking this time, making Shuichi’s heart thump louder, “But what about that dream you mentioned before, what is it?”
Strangely Shuichi felt as if Kokichi was much more grounded and serious when he asked him about his motivation than he was before with the other topics they discussed. Perhaps it meant something to him? He probably had to sacrifice a lot for his carrier as an actor to realize his wish.
“Oh that…” Shuichi snorted uncomfortable by the question, “I am currently trying to become a novelist. I more or less write every day to better my style and storytelling.” He responded passionately in a dreamy way trying to suppress his urge to tell more, which made Kokichi smile kindly, “But I can’t make a living out of it for now, my books would not sell, they are just not good enough to be released. So I have to settle for journalism instead. In the meantime, not only I earn some money, but I also train by inventing stories, I guess. Though I don’t appro—.”
“What do you mean?” Kokichi interrupted him, furrowing his brows, seeming a little irked.
Shuichi was aware that his excuse was in no way a justification for his acts, and he was about to elaborate on the matter:
“Yes, I know I really should not do what I do, I have other means to earn money and practice than by ruining people’s lives in a maga—”
“No, not that. I don’t care about that.” The actor cut him off again, standing up, leaning on his hands that pushed the top of the table underneath him, “Don’t tell me you didn’t even send your books to a publishing company! You have to take action, grasp your chance at every opportunity to make your dream come true.”
Shuichi blinked confused not sure why the actor was getting angry at him, and why he thought he had any say in his decision. A lot of people already told him repeatedly the same charade of “you don’t know if you don’t try” but they were never this aggressive with their view like Kokichi was being at the moment. It puzzled him about the reason why he would get so out of characteristically pissed off for him.
The actor seemed just as much taken aback by his behavior as the journalist, which reassured Shuichi in the sense that he was not just imagining things. The celebrity diverted his gaze, biting his lips pouting like a child, but was clearly feeling guilty for being forceful and voicing his opinion so harshly. Perhaps he related a lot to Shuichi’s situation and wanted to give unsolicited but experimented advice on the matter. Having this idea in mind, the reporter found it cute how clumsily he tried to encourage him, and how personally he got invested in his own problems to help the best he could. He mostly loved the lack of filter that he displayed, seeing his genuine anger was new from him, and he felt closer to him now that the celebrity opened one of his more intimate sides to him. He still did not know the reason behind his conduct, but he still appreciated this special treatment.
“Anyway!” Kokichi gasped suddenly, switching back to a fakingly happy mask this time, “‘Follow your dreams, young padawan!’ said a wise green man back in the day. And everyone know that you can trust tiny green dudes with life advice.” He rambled a tad too fast to pretend to be untroubled with his previous demeanor.
Shuichi stared at the actor for long seconds with a scoff of amusement, deciding to not make him uncomfortable and accept the weirdly saved conversation. He just took a mental note that accomplishing his dream was something dear for the other, which in some way was a laudable cause and reason to persevere. It suited his carrier and character, and even if it was not in the right way, seeing him worry for Shuichi’s future was endearing.
“Like I told you, I’m working on it, it’s not like I procrastinate because I’m scared or such.” The reporter replied tilting his head smiling, showing the star that he need not worry for him and for his previous outburst, “When they’re gonna be readable, I will send them in. But right now, I need more time and better inspiration.” He repeated the generic answer he always gave to his nosy relatives.
What he hid was his own doubts that he knew were irrelevant to voice because that was why he was putting all his in to solve his issue. His stories were not entertaining, it was not about them not being perfect, they were just unqualified to get published. To Shuichi his novels felt… Empty. He looked at his hands with a sad expression painted on his pained face. How could he ask professionals to have his books printed out, when not even he, the author, found them good? He shook his head, chasing away his concerns.
“Hey, if you want, I am writing a book right now, if it ends up as I wish it would, I’ll send it in first thing done.” He added to ease the atmosphere and change his thoughts.
“Really?” Kokichi yelped enthusiastically weirdly pleasing Shuichi much more than it should have, “Can I read it once you’ve finished it? Please, please, please, pleeeease!”
“Oh! Well, we’ll see about that… I guess you’ll you read it first, then I’ll send it in…” He jabbered stupefied by the celebrity’s interest in his reading altogether, since he especially did not expect someone working in the cinematic industry to be curious about books when movie adaptations were a thing.
As the actor grinned yet again, Shuichi gave himself a minute to calm down and think through all that was happening.
Kokichi was nothing like he expected him to be, or anyone like he had ever met, he was the most unique gem in the whole wide world. Getting teased and helped during this same night was an interesting but pleasurable experience, though he could not deny the underlying worry Shuichi felt in his soul.
He still did not know with certainty why Kokichi was interested in him in the first place, and it bothered him. He knew that as long he did not get an honest reply, he would not be able to believe the situation they were in. Not so much the actor who he strangely trusted wholeheartedly, but the fact that their relationship could go further despite one of them being a star and the other a paparazzo. On paper it seemed impossible, and the gap of success in between them was suffocating to Shuichi; he was clearly not meant to be in the presence of someone so famous. It did not make sense, it did not work, it was not supposed to happen.
But there was also something else, a tiny thing that pushed the reporter to stay longer, aside from the clear attraction he was feeling towards the star. He could not put his finger on it, but he knew that Kokichi was hiding a secret that did not bode well. Shuichi did not expect the celebrity to be open about it, and he was not one to pry into people’s personal life, but he felt as if the mystery was linked to the reason why the actor invited Shuichi out after their short talk in the alley. And if so was the case, Shuichi had to know, or at least felt the duty to help Kokichi.
And for that he knew he had to earn the actor’s trust.
He hushed his thoughts and got back to the conversation again, noticing a detail in Kokichi’s response which intrigued him.
“But most importantly… You intend to like… hum…”
“Keep contact with you?” The star finished his sentence with a kind smile, before giggling yet again, “I thought that was a given. I need my daily dose of bullying, and you seem perfect for that!”
“I feel honored…” Hummed the journalist unamused, yet on the inside feeling glad that he was not the only one to enjoy their exchange and that he would have more time to bond with the celebrity.
“Hey, don’t complain, it gives you more chances to find a gig about me!” Kokichi remarked glancing at his fingernails to pass time, “Unless you already found something?”
“Well besides that lady that magically disappeared from before, not really.” Shuichi replied cunningly, arching his eyebrow intently, also being reminded of the position he was in.
“Oh her? That’s my mother.”
“Your what?” Shuichi nearly shrieked, the woman looked way too young to have Kokichi as a child.
“Nishishi, that’s a lie! I don’t know her, and I couldn’t care less about her!” He howled still having fun by tricking him, as the latter sighed in relief, “I’m single like a mingle, so don’t hesitate to come for me cutie.” He added, winking cheekily, and sending Shuichi a kiss.
The journalist felt his cheeks turn scarlet in the matter of seconds, as he sipped into his empty mug just for the sake of hiding his flustered expression. Was Kokichi messing with him again, flirting openly like that? And why was he completely falling for his obvious trap? His heart could not stop drumming in his rib cage, as he felt a long-forgotten excitement pulse through his body. His back stiffened as he was sweating, and he blinked multiple times to make sure he was not hearing things.
“Hey.” The celebrity whispered to which Shuichi turned to him broken from his jumbled train of thoughts, “If you want…” He leaned in closer, murmuring into his ear, sending pleasant shivers down the reporter’s spine, “We can take this to a hotel.” Shuichi gulped flinching, it was as if Kokichi could read his mind, “I have everything we need in here.”
The star backed off slightly, patting his bag, while still locking his seductive gaze with the perplexed and tomato-red journalist. Shuichi lost on words just stared at him and could not form any coherent thoughts nor sounds, forgetting to even blink or breath. He bit his lower lip as the whole situation overwhelmed his thumping heart and jumbled his senses like flashes blinding a driver’s eyes.
The actor only needed a couple of minutes to turn his perfect, professional, pragmatic world upside down, and only a couple of seconds to make him lose his composure like a lovesick teenager. Kokichi was dangerous, after all he was a master of lies and pretense just like his job required him to be, and the reporter was not stupid enough to believe that he acted unintentionally when he made him such obvious advances.
But Shuichi felt deeply conflicted, making him uncomfortable and almost ill. On one side he wanted to be tricked for a little while and live this lovely elation which was foreign to him in his grey repetitive life. But on the other, he knew that his world would be turned upside down, torn to shambles, besides most likely getting hurt if he brought this relationship to that level so soon. The extravagant always bothered him in some way, and even though it was accompanied with a sweet taste, this change was not different from any other.
“Oh my god, your expression is so hilarious, totally worth it!” Kokichi giggled suddenly with a toothy grin, rocking on his chair, “Don’t worry, even I wouldn’t do that on a first date. I have standards, you know. I love how you always fall headfirst into my jokes.”
Shuichi blinked stupefied, then rubbed his temple sighing embarrassed, but mostly exasperated. He glanced at the smiling little gremlin who shot him the most innocent of gazes ever seen. At that moment, Shuichi in fact had no clue what to do nor say, he was just simply not ready to be given the offer. And Kokichi must have noticed it, which pushed him to back down and turn the events into a humoristic color, for which the reporter was thankful.
“But I wasn’t lying about having everything necessary ready, you never know when you need them, so if you change your mind… A one-night stand does sound tempting.” He cooed while leaning back in his seat.
“Yeah, well it’s not my cup of tea…” The journalist mumbled scratching his chin with an uncomfortable laugh.
“Ditto. I wouldn’t like sleeping with someone just for their body. I’m glad we agree on that.” He nodded with a sigh and reassured smile.
Shuichi furrowed his brows as the actor’s claims were contradicting his previous behavior. Did he perhaps flirt with him for other reasons? Why else would anyone try to seduce a person? He did not know what to conclude which just added more to his overall confusion.
“Anyway, I see you finished your drink... Unless you want another cup of coffee and definitely go for an insomnia.” Kokichi remarked, breaking off his train of thoughts.
“Oh hum… Thanks for the offer, but no thanks. I’d love to hang out more, but I have to do research on some celebrity you see.” The journalist jabbered glancing at Kokichi with a snicker.
“Heh, well if you need any help, don’t hesitate to call them!” The actor winked, leaving a finely decorated business card on the table in Shuichi’s reach while getting up pushing himself up from the table, “It was nice getting to know you, you don’t seem all too bad, and that’s a compliment from me.” He added cryptically.
“Well, I hope we’ll meet soon then. It was a pleasure to talk to you.” Shuichi replied politely, trying to hide his excitement.
“Nishishi, you’re so formal it’s funny.”
The actor shot him a wide grin as he waddled away childishly after picking up his stuff from the warm heater, humming some sweet soundtrack from a movie he probably played in. Shuichi followed him intensely with his curious and interested look as he got out of the building, closing the tingling door behind him, disappearing into the night and the swarming crowd of people by putting on a huge cap and his blingy sunglasses. The thought that he was too drunk before to remember to put on his disguise made the reporter giggle. What a night he just had.
After a few minutes of sweet silence during which he was staring at the spot he last saw the celebrity with a lovable beam, he slid the business card towards himself, and picked up the paper, turning it around his finger, to observe its content and texture. The background illustration was a faded checker pattern, hiding behind dark purple cursive letters informing the reader of the way to contact Kokichi’s manager. However what Shuichi noticed was a little scribble on the bottom saying, ‘This is my personal number, which you obviously won’t sell to anyone!’ with a winking smiley drawn next to it as well a phone number written with a poor handwriting. Shuichi chortled at the cute message also wondering when the actor was able write it during their conversation, as he saved the number in his telephone before putting away the kindly given card. Even this little affectionate gift lifted the journalist’s mood, as he felt lighter in his soul and special in his new acquaintance’s eyes. Despite the sudden circumstances, which were a little overbearing at some instances, it did not feel less rewarding and flattering for the journalist to get close to the star.
He got out his tiny marine-blue notebook he always carried around and wrote down everything he learnt about the actor that day. Normally he had this journal to remember his flashing ideas of potential novel and story ideas, but he had been using it for finding article concepts too. He scribbled down a few words and sighed finally feeling the tiredness from all the commotion kick in, but nonetheless glad from his little accomplishments. He could not deny that he was happier on a more personal level than on a working prospect; he was simply elated to learn more of this man that bewitched him so easily and swiftly. The tiny realization made him blush a cute rose pink, which he was unable to smother away.
Kokichi Oma, the famous actor seemed to hide something from the world, as well as Shuichi, yet was curious about the latter, despite all the lack of common sense it implied. His childish persona, his irritable but charming character, his hidden hints all intrigued the journalist, who had no idea what he got himself into. Despite being completely troubled by the absurdity, the suddenness, the lack of control the situation made him live, he felt that he needed to look into it further, maybe to find that sense of order he wished for. Not for the article, but for himself and his relationship with the actor.
Something told him that he was needed, even though an undeniable and lingering tension was present aside from the sweet and friendly attraction between the two men. The brooding complexity that was to be debunked was only scratched at the surface, and Shuichi knew that a lot of patience and effort was required to untangle the knot that just formed in between themselves, which made him feel anxious in advance.
He got up from his comfortable seat and paid for his drink, letting the coins fall on the wooden counter like pebbles into the water. He put on his warm coat before bracing himself and opening the coffee shop’s sturdy door and went out into the cold rain. He looked up at the covered sky that was as refreshing and mysterious like their feeble and new relationship. This one was going to be one complicated trip.
Notes about Kokichi
He is attached to his scarf (lucky charm?)
He likes to trick people
He lies a lot
He insists on making my dream come true (?)
He finds me cute
He is attracted to guys (???)
He always has a condom and lubricant on him (??!)
… He is quite hard to understand, especially since he lies a lot, but he is not less lovable because of it.