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Let it be known that Stiles Stilinski was probably the best boyfriend ever. He remembered anniversaries (most of the time), he always texted back, he initiated sex and kisses, and he all-around adored his boyfriend. And with his boyfriend came his new (dare he say it?) best friend. Scott was Stiles' platonic soul mate, easily. The Rhett to his Link, the Bert to his Ernie (though those two did have a tangible sexual tension between them, so maybe Derek was the Bert to his Ernie).
Regardless, the Hale brothers had captured Stiles' heart. Which was why he was currently racing through the empty school halls to get to the back field before missing the entire pep rally. But since he was such a great boyfriend, he could be let off the hook this once for being late. He could not be blamed for the one Orphan Black episode he watched, which lead to him fucking around on a couple sites and deciding to re-watch a couple of his favourite Game of Thrones scenes on Youtube. Then it was suddenly 7 o'clock and the pep rally had already begun. He was entirely blameless. It could happen to anyone.
Stiles skidded out the door and onto the grass, arms flailing to balance himself as he rounded the bleachers. He breathed in and out heavily, attempting to smooth down his hair while watching the cheerleaders flip around on the field.
He turned his attention to the bleachers just as he felt his pocket vibrate with another text, most likely from Derek.
The final game of the season was in two nights, and Derek was commanded to take it easy until then. After a sprained wrist scare from the last game, Finstock went purple in the face and refused to let Derek even practice too hard.
Stiles could have sworn he also said something along the lines of "And no jacking off too hard, either, let your boyfriend do that," but Derek doesn't believe it whenever Stiles insists that's what Finstock said. 'Oh come on, would I lie to you about hand jobs?' Though he didn't complain when Stiles happily followed those orders and swooped in to ease that great burden.
Stiles' gaze finally landed on Derek, who was glaring out at the field with furrowed brows. Aw, babe, Stiles cooed in his mind. Such a grumpy lump. But then it was Stiles' turn to glare when he noticed that both spots on either side of Derek were taken up. Erica on one, Allison on the other. Bitches.
He slipped through the sea of legs and bumped his way onto the spot just above and behind Derek. Leaning forward, he wrapped his arms around Derek's shoulders and rested his chin in Derek's neck.
He felt Derek tense at first, then ease into it, knowing no one but Stiles would dare touch him so casually.
"Hey boo. Miss me?" Stiles kissed his cheek softly, inhaling a bit as he ran his nose along Derek's ear.
"Didn't realize you were gone," Derek replied, which was a goddamn lie and they both knew it. It made Stiles snort a laugh, giving Derek's shoulders a quick squeeze before he straightened up a bit, hands trailing down to massage at Derek's back.
"Hmmm, these tense muscles tell a different story," Stiles hummed conspiratorially, "I think you were going batshit crazy without me here to ward off these crowds of people."
Derek made a soft sound of pleasure as his head drooped forward, Stiles beginning to work out a particularly difficult knot.
Erica shot Derek a look before seeming to just realize Stiles had joined them.
"Hey, look who finally decided to show his ugly mug!"
"John Snow is impossible to say 'no' to when there's just so many videos of him on YouTube," Stiles sighed dramatically, explaining everything.
Allison gave him a warm smile, reaching back behind Derek to pat Stiles' knee.
The four of them returned to their silence, watching as one of the cheerleaders on the field made it her mission to become a human pretzel.
Stiles leaned forward to rest his chin on the top of Derek's head, draping his arms over onto Derek's chest to pat an absent rhythm against it. Derek idly reached up, pulling on and playing with Stiles' fingers as they watched the cheerleaders switch places with the lacrosse team. The team had decided that a dunk tank would be just the thing to get the crowd excited over their last game.
Jackson barked out muffled orders on the field and the team got into position.
On the count of three, the lacrosse jerseys were suddenly shed, and underneath, each player had on a hot pink one-piece.
Stiles barked out a surprised laugh, along with the rest of the crowd.
He could practically feel Derek grimacing.
"You were only pretending to have an almost-sprained wrist, weren't you?" Stiles murmured gleefully in Derek's ear.
Derek leaned back with a devilish smirk on his face. Confirming nor denying anything, he placed a quick kiss to Stiles' lips before he turned back to the field.
Just as the pinked-out lacrosse team was lined up to face the dunk tank, the show was paused on that cliff-hanging note to allow for the concession cart to roll out.
The majority of the crowd sunk into their seats, disappointed at having to wait a bit longer to see their muscular athletes dripping wet. Stiles, on the other hand, already had his own muscular athlete in his hands, and those donuts looked too good to resist.
"Chocolate?" He patted Derek's shoulder before standing up and stretching.
"Two?"
Stiles narrowed his eyes down at his boyfriend's hopeful look.
He sighed and nodded reluctantly. "I'm counting on you to be a superstar athlete so that I can be a trophy wife. That means we'll just have to exercise extra vigorously to burn off those calories so you don't get fat."
"Easy enough," Derek agreed amicably. It was hard to share a knowing look with Derek while keeping a straight face. They were horny perverts.
Braving the crowds, Stiles tip-toed down the bleachers, only slipping once. And he was able to grab the railing in time without causing death, no matter what the glare he could feel Derek giving him was saying. He could handle himself.
He bumped into Erica at the bottom as she made her way to the hot dog stand.
"Did you know about this?" Stiles asked with a grin, nodding to the lacrosse team.
Erica's lips slowly upturned into a sly smirk. "Where do you think Boyd got that from?"
Stiles, with an expression of pure horror on his face, quickly danced around in spot to see over and through the crowds of people to where Boyd was standing. And there he was, uncomfortable in a too-tight suit that was stretched, looking rather uncomfortably, over his junk. His hands were subtly clasped in front of it.
"Holy God, woman," Stiles breathed, turning back to Erica, who was happily munching her hot dog. "You have balls of steel to get him into that."
Erica nodded. "Yeah, I'm the best fucking thing that's ever happened to him. He knows he'll get rewarded."
"Nooooo, my ears."
Stiles was finally collecting his donuts when it happened. Erica swatted him against the arm to get his attention.
"Check it," she nodded towards the bleachers.
Stiles followed her gaze to find Derek being approached by the lovely Kate Argent herself. There was nothing redeemable about that woman. Not even Allison being her heavenly sister could make up for the fact that Kate was a barrel of Satan's anal leakage.
"Fucking bitch," Stiles whispered, eyes narrowing as Kate rubbed her hand along Derek's shoulder.
Derek was saying something back to her, reaching up to move her hand away when Stiles finally broke free from the crowd and ascended the bleachers again.
"Well, look who it is," Stiles said pleasantly. He shimmied around Kate and shamelessly dropped down onto Derek's lap, handing off two chocolate donuts in the meantime.
"Hello Stiles," Kate greeted, friendly enough. Except the glint in her eye made Stiles' balls want to retreat into his body.
"Oh, Stiles, I almost forgot!" She suddenly said, eyes wide. "I wanted to thank you for your help, but I won't need you anymore. But Scott and Allison are really happy thanks to you, and I'm glad you could help out."
Ah, and here it was. The moment they had been waiting for. Also the moment Stiles had been kind of dreading. Because while Derek may know the truth of how their relationship came to be, it didn't make it any easier for Stiles to be reminded of it.
"Done with me, how, exactly?" Stiles asked slowly, luring in the bait.
That glint in Kate's eye just got sharper.
"I know the deal was for me to pay you to . . . you know, for Scott and Allison to be together, and now they are, so you don't have to keep up the act."
"What act?" Derek butted in.
Kate turned her gaze to Derek, perfecting innocent little lamb eyes. "Shoot, I -- I don't think it's my place to say."
Stiles narrowed his eyes at her.
"Spit it out," he barked.
"I just . . . I wanted Allison and Scott to be happy," Kate began innocently enough, "but since, Derek, you weren't going to date anyone, Stiles said he'd date you if I . . . paid him. But I finally decided to put an end to it because it's unfair for you to be serious about this relationship when he's just using his body and toying with you to get money out of it."
And man, if Stiles hadn't beaten Kate to telling Derek the truth, the closed-off, I-don't-trust-anybody Derek Hale wouldn't have let Stiles get a word in to defend himself after hearing it spread out like that.
Derek frowned, looking from Stiles to Kate.
"I don't think you --"
"I know it's hard to believe, Derek," Kate soothed. "But think about it. Stiles suddenly is hanging out with Scott and is showing an interest in you? He forms a friendship with your brother, who helps him to get to know you better because Scott jumps at the chance to be with Allison. And Stiles is suddenly too good to be true because he's interested in everything you say, even though you had liked him for years, but he's just seeming to notice you now."
Derek is silent for a moment, and Stiles watches those beautiful green eyes flicker to the ground before a smile is curling at the sides of his lips.
"Kate, I'm sorry, but I think you have something mixed up here," Derek replies gently, like speaking to a feral wolf. Stiles notices they've got a slight audience going on now.
"Remember at that party, when you tried to slip something into my drink so that you could convert me from my 'sinful ways' by having sex with me?"
Derek's voice was still soft, but Stiles watched as a few people sitting nearby heard loud and clear, and turned to repeat the sentence to their neighbours.
Kate opened her mouth to protest, but clamped it shut when Derek kept talking.
"I had told you repeatedly that I wasn't interested, and I let you believe that it was because I was longing after the cute Stilinski boy. Hate to break it to you, but by that point, Stiles and I had already been dating for a while." He turned to look at Stiles, who bit his lip down on a smile. "We just didn't know if or when we would 'announce' our relationship, since we didn't feel a need to," Derek continued. "When you offered to pay him to date me, when he already was, I convinced him to go along with it. Extra pocket change -- or condom money, as Stiles so gracefully put it."
A couple sniggers broke out from their neighbours.
Derek slipped his arm around Stiles' waist from where he was still perched in his lap. He pulled Stiles closer to be flush against his chest. Stiles buried his flushed cheeks into Derek's hair, mouthing at his ear.
"So," Derek inhaled heavily, as if this was the most he ever had to speak before (it was), "I'm sorry to tell you that you have it all wrong, and that these 'pure' intentions of yours kind of backfired."
"Spectacularly," Stiles added happily. His stomach had finally stopped churning enough for him to be comfortable to take a bite of donut.
Only, he almost choked on it a second later when Kate lashed out at him.
"You let me spend how much money on you, when you guys were already dating?" She yelled, pointing an accusing finger at him.
Stiles stood up straight, yelling just as loud, "You slipped Derek a date rape drug so that you could try to sleep with him and turn him straight!" That was always going to be a touchy subject with Stiles. While Derek has seemed to get over it and accept it for what it was, Stiles will always get fired up about it. And understandably so.
His outburst made people from a couple rows down turn around to look at the spectacle. One of them being the principal himself.
The principal stood up slowly, eyes wide. "Argent! Is that true?"
Kate got her wounded lamb look back on. "Of course not, Mr.--"
"Of course it's true," a new voice said.
Stiles felt Derek's hand slide into his own as he turned to acknowledge the owner of the new voice.
Danny Mahealani. The first openly gay boy at BHHS.
Danny sent Derek a grimacing, understanding look.
"She tried it on me, too."
And damn, did that send the principal into action. Stiles had heard through the grapevine that the principal had been raised by two moms. Everyone knew he was very accepting of people from all walks of life. Except the Kate Argents of the world.
While Kate was whisked away by one angry principal, Allison leaned over to Derek, looking absolutely heart broken.
"Derek, I'm so -- sorry, I had no idea!"
"I think everyone knows you're nothing like Kate, Allison," Stiles said gently, knowing Derek was feeling antsy with all the attention and wanted to the pep rally to just start up again.
Allison was crushed and silent for a moment, nodding slowly as she watched Stiles rub the tension out of Derek's shoulders. She knew to let it go for now, and sought out Danny to make more apologies.
Derek sighed loudly, dropping his head for Stiles to rub at his neck.
Stiles lifted his knee to bump at Derek's hand that still held the two chocolate donuts. "I got those for you so we could have hot sex tonight. I'm not seeing those go to waste. More like . . . go to waist get it?" He chortled at the pun as he finished off his own donut.
Derek gave him a deadpanned stare, but Stiles leaned down and kissed him anyway.
"Maybe I'll even wear a pink one-piece and let you dunk me," he said with wiggled eyebrows.
"Jesus," Derek breathed, "you are the worst at dirty talk."
But it made Derek's cheeks turn pink, and that was good enough for Stiles. Who was the best boyfriend. He always texted back, he initiated sex and kisses, and he would slay anyone who threatened to rain on Derek's parade. This boyfriend thing? Yeah, he was the best at it.