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When the second son of Qingheng Jun is born an omega like his mother, Lan Qiren and the sect as a whole ensure he is treated as all Lan omegas are: as an equal to his alpha martial siblings. 

The Lan sect are far from perfect - you need only look at Qingheng Jun's disastrous marriage for proof of that - but in this they are unusual. Many sects have a traditional view of omegas as far too fragile for cultivation - delicate, motherly, unintelligent. Easily misled. 

In another sect, Lan Wangji would never have received his courtesy name. He would have been Lan Zhan - raised to be beautiful and charming and worthy of an alpha's love, to be bartered in marriage, to carry children. He would never have received his sword. 

His uncle and his brother and teachers do not tell him this. They only push him to speak concisely and confidently; to fight with skill and power; to be one of the finest cultivators of his age. They tell him he must be the best. And he is. 

It's his mother who tells him what it means to be an omega.

When he is small, she teaches him how to make himself pretty. How to hold his head in a certain way that bares his throat. How to lower his eyes. She tells him she hopes he will never need this knowledge. 

"But I thought I would never require it," she said to him, gently weaving gentians through his hair. "And I did."

Her voice was bleak.

Her teachings only make a grown Lan Wangji more determined to prove himself as a cultivator. He will live the life she could not. 

And then the worst happens: at a cultivation conference, Lan Xichen offends the Wen clan. He defends Nie Mingjue in an argument between Nie Mingjue and Wen Xu and well – it is not hard to offend people looking for an excuse to crush you. 

The Wen sect take Lan Xichen hostage. And then, after an agonising week, they send the Lan sect their demands.

Among those demands: Lan Wangji's hand in marriage. They want him for Wen Xu. It is an honour, their message says, for the Lan omega to be gifted such a lofty position. 

Lan Qiren cannot even bring himself to speak. It is one of the omegas who married into the Lan sect who must explain Lan Wangji's worth to himself. He is from a famous bloodline. He is young and healthy. He is beautiful. He will make a useful hostage. Of course Wen Xu wants him. 

Lan Wangji listens silently. All his life he has been loved. He has been valued for what he can do. Not what he is. Not his blood, his dynamic, his capacity to be fucked, to whelp a child. He cannot think of this in delicate terms. He must face the reality ahead of him. Because he will not refuse to go. He loves his brother and he knows his responsibility to his sect. Better that he go and become both spouse and hostage than let Lan Xichen die and his sect burn along with him. 

The marriage is arranged. And Lan Wangji is given rough guidance on what it means to be an omega spouse. He is given new clothes, cut to emphasise his slim waist, his narrow throat, and conceal the breadth of his shoulders - the strength he has worked so hard for. 

He is encouraged to walk with less - presence. To smile. Please, will you try and smile? (This, asked by his poor teacher - a young omega woman born in the Ouyang sect.) You must try and be pleasing, Lan er-gongzi.

Lan Wangji learns swiftly he is not good at being an omega. 

He remembers his mother - how she wasted away, enclosed in her prison - and tries not to feel dread. This is a battle like any other. At least his mother thought to arm him for it years ago. Somehow, she knew it would come for him. 

He marries Wen Xu dressed in red, in robes cut for an omega. He marries Wen Xu in Nightless City, already a hostage even before the ceremonies are complete - even before he and Wen Xu are alone, and his veil is lifted, and they are face to face. 

After, Lan Wangji will not remember his full wedding night. He will remember Wen Xu cajoling him to drink, and refusing. He will remember being told he is prettier than Wen Xu expected. "We'll have to get you thinner, of course." Wen Xu says casually. "Make a proper wife of you." 

He will remember being pushed down and thinking - this is not who I am. He will remember the pressure of hands on his thighs, and telling himself - is this worse than a dead brother? A sword through the stomach? 

It will be weeks before he suddenly recalls the weight of Wen Xu on him, inside him, fucking him steadily and without any care for Lan Wangji's pleasure, as his new husband says mildly, "You'll have to do better next time. I don't want a cold fish for a wife." 

Well, apparently Wen Xu has gained a taste for his cold bride since then, because he is there nearly every night, bending Lan Wangji over the desk or the bed, or worse still, taking him face to face. 

He lavishes Lan Wangji in gifts: beautiful silk robes, pale blush pinks and rose reds, delicately embroidered in motifs of flowers. He gives him jewels and paint for his lips. He insists on seeing Lan Wangji in his gifts, and only his gifts, or nothing at all. 

Wen Xu will not allow anyone to call Lan Wangji by his courtesy name. To Wen Xu he is any number of sweet, mocking nicknames. Pretty wife. Sweet bride. Darling. If he has a name, it is Lan Zhan.

Lan Wangji understands he is being moulded to become what Wen Xu wants him to be. He understands, too, that it gives Wen Xu pleasure to see Lan Wangji shamed, distressed - to see Lan Wangji struggle against the restrictions of a role he is not fit for, and does not desire. Still, he writes to his brother and uncle that he is content and well treated. What use is there in worrying them needlessly, when they can do nothing to protect him?

And then, one night, Wen Xu is carried drunk and unconsciousness to his chambers. Lan Wangji hears a voice trying to cajole Wen Xu awake; sees the door open, and a slim cultivator drag his husband in. 

"Ah, I'm sorry Young Master!" the Wen cultivator exclaims when he sees Lan Wangji watching. He sketches a half bow - difficult to do when he's holding Wen Xu in his arms. "This one demanded to be brought here - and who am I to disobey? But then he collapsed by the door, and-" 

"Not 'Young Master'," Lan Wangji says.

"Ah - what?" the cultivator says. He blinks at Lan Wangji. His eyes are very sharp, for someone clearly so unobservant. Has he not seen the jewels, the paint, the omega robes? The scent of gentians in the air? 

"I am his omega," Lan Wangji says flatly.

"I know," the cultivator says. "You're Lan Wangji. Second Young Master Lan." He manages another wobbly bow, as he dumps Wen Xu on the bed. "Wei Ying, courtesy name Wuxian. It's a pleasure to finally meet you!" 

-

We need to take a step back in time, now. The world isn't quite what we're used to, after all.

Once there was an orphan boy in Yiling. That hasn't changed. But in this world, the Wen sect found him first. 

It would be easier, perhaps, if they'd kidnapped him or mistreated him. But at first they were kind.

There was an alpha woman, who kneeled down and offered him a bun. Fluffy, warm. She watched him devour it. Then she said, "Would you like a home, little one? Somewhere warm where you'll be fed?"

He said yes. 

He would have said yes to anyone. Maybe he was lucky the Wen sect took him. Maybe it could have been worse.

As an alpha with a nascent golden core, he had potential. He travelled in a cart with a handful of other alpha children. Halfway to Qishan, the cart stopped. 

The children were told to get out. The alpha woman told them only half of them would be taken to Nightless City. The rest would be left here.

Wei Ying looked around. They were in woods, and the woods were dark and cold. It was winter, and the air had a terrible, bitter chill. 

They had seen no towns or villages for days. Any child left here would surely die.

The woman told them they would have to fight for the privilege of completing their journey. They had nothing but their hands and their teeth.

Wei Ying was a gentle boy. A kind boy. 

I can survive out here, he told himself. I can. I can.

But when it came to it, he wanted to live too much. When his fight was almost lost, he punched and punched until his opponent unconscious. And he made it to Nightless City.

There were more fights, after that. 

Now, Wei Wuxian has proved his value a thousand times over to the Wen sect. He is so valued that he is considered a close liege of Wen Xu's, in the same way as Wen Zhuliu is the loyal hound of Wen Chao. 

Wei Wuxian was one of Lan Xichen's jailers. A dull job. All the man did was meditate. And he was there, too, when it was decided that Wen Xu would marry Lan Wangji.

Wen Xu was very unhappy that his father wanted him to marry an omega who had lived such a shameless life. A strong cultivator. An able swordsman! What use did Wen Xu have for those skills in his omega? Was his father seeking to punish him?

"He'll make strong children," Wen Ruohan had said. "You will obey me in this." And no one disobeyed Wen Ruohan, so that was the end of that. 

But the truth was, Wei Wuxian did not think much about Lan Wangji. When he first glimpsed Lan Wangji - veiled in wedding red - it was the first time he really thought about what the marriage meant.

A peerless cultivator. A scion of a great sect. Now Wen Xu's bride. 

Lan Wangji was tall. Narrowly built, with broad shoulders. A proud gait. He kept moving his hand to his back - a tic he couldn't break.

He looks like he should be holding a sword, Wei Wuxian thought. It made him - sad.

But ah, what was more sadness? He'd add it to the rest. 

Maybe this Lan Wangji would learn to be happy as Wen Xu's omega. But Wei Wuxian knew his master, and he knew that was not fucking likely. He'd have pitied any omega married to Wen Xu. Never mind one like that.

At least Wen Chao was nice to his omegas. Mostly. 

Sometimes Wen Xu spoke to his men about Lan Wangji. Lan Zhan, he called him. Spoke about the way he moaned, the way he'd come. Just like every other omega, he said. There's only one kind of sword he's handling these days -

"Eh, where are you going?" 

That was shouted at Wei Wuxian's back.

"Getting more to drink!" Wei Wuxian yelled, holding up his empty bottle of liquor to make his point.

"Strange," Wen Xu's man muttered.

"Don't mind him," Wen Xu said dismissively. "He's got no taste for omegas, do you Wei Wuxian?" 

"I'm a cutsleeve through and through," Wei Wuxian agreed. "So you should be careful of your own honour, gege." He gave a wink to the soldier, and the soldier flinched back.

Not strictly true. Wei Wuxian did like other alphas. Had fumbled about with enough of them. 

But he liked omegas too. It was just easier to pretend he didn't. For one, it meant he could spend time with Wen Ning without anyone assuming he was besmirching the boy's honour. (Wen Qing would have skinned him if he'd tried. Nonetheless.) 

And it also meant that when Wen Xu drunkenly demanded to be taken to his omega's chambers, the other cultivator's drinking with Wen Xu had turned big eyes on Wei Wuxian. They would be skinned for seeing Lan Wangji. But Wei Wuxian? Well, what threat was he? 

-

Now -

Now, he places Wen Xu on the bed. Lan Wangji stands at the edge of the room, watching them both with cold, wary eyes. He's thinner than he was the first time Wei Wuxian saw him. His face is handsome, not beautiful. 

The paint on his face can't conceal the cut of his jaw, the sharpness of his cheekbones. The severity of the look he wears as he inspect Wei Wuxian as if he were an ant. Even the ridiculous gown he's in - all butterflies and shades of rose - does not diminish his proud bearing. 

"You should not be here," Lan Wangji tells him. His voice is low and refined and cold. Wei Wuxian can't imagine that voice moaning and begging the way Wen Xu has boasted about.

Even contemplating that makes Wei Wuxian feel ashamed, and he banishes the thought quickly. 

"I know, I know!" Wei Wuxian says. "But don't worry, he won't be angry with you or with me." He gestures at the sleeping Wen Xu. "Everyone knows I'm a cut-sleeve. And I'll tell him you were very offended to see me here, I promise." 

Lan Wangji's gaze is steady, piercing. It's a bit like being picked apart with an ice shard. Like Lan Wangji has seen every part of Wei Wuxian and found him wanting.

"Take him with you," Lan Wangji says, finally.

"Ah- what?"

"Wen Xu. I do not want him here," Lan Wangji says. 

"Ah, Young Master..." At Lan Wangji's dagger of a look, Wei Wuxian quickly says, "Lan Wangji, my master asked me to bring him here. If he wakes up elsewhere he'll be angry."

"I do not care." 

"I didn't think you were so cruel as all that, Lan Wangji!" Wei Wuxian exclaims, clutching his own heart dramatically. "Would you really ask this poor servant to be punished for your sake?"

Lan Wangji's jaw tightens.

"Leave, then." 

The tone is so authoritative that Wei Wuxian is bowing and turning to go before he can even think about it. But he pauses at the door and looks back. Wen Xu is snoring. It's safe to talk.

"You know, when a servant refuses, it's customary to offer a bribe," he says helpfully. 

"Bribes are underhanded," Lan Wangji says immediately.

"Bribes are...? They're how households work, Lan Wangji! You think omegas are sent to their new homes with expensive jewels just to wear them?" 

One look at him and Wei Wuxian knows. He really did think that.

"Listen to me. Alpha gentry can afford to have scruples, though most don't," Wei Wuxian says, voice gentler now. "But those who belong to them - we can't. Being underhanded lets us survive."

"You are an alpha." 

"But my life and my body and my loyalty belong to the Wen sect and Wen Xu," Wei Wuxian says. He's not proud of it. But it's true. "Same as yours."

"We are not the same."

"No," Wei Wuxian agrees. He doesn't envy Lan Wangji. Fuck knows he'd hate to have Wen Xu heaving over him. But one day, if Lan Wangji plays the game rightly, he'll be the mother of Qishan Wen's heirs. He'll be the most powerful omega in Nightless City. Wen Xu's eyes will wander and Lan Wangji will still have - something. Some hope.

Wei Wuxian will be lucky if he lives to thirty. 

"I'm going to give you some free advice," Wei Wuxian says. "If you don't lie to him, don't convince him you're being broken in, he's going to break you for real. He won't stop."

Silence. "I am not a convincing liar," Lan Wangji says. "It is not in my nature." 

Wei Wuxian thinks of a cart in a forest. Blood under his knuckles. He thinks of how he cried after his first kill, and then never cried again.

"Who truly knows their own nature? I'm only a lowly servant, and even I find I surprise myself." 

Lan Wangji finally looks away.

"I have every faith in you, Lan Wangji," Wei Wuxian says. "But next time you need some guidance - you'll owe me."

"I will not forget," Lan Wangji says. And that's the last thing Wei Wuxian hears, as he bows, departs. 

-

After Wei Wuxian departs, Lan Wangji considers attempting to sleep. But Wen Xu is still sprawled across the bed, and the thought of sharing with him makes Lan Wangji's skin crawl.

So he goes outside.

He is kept carefully confined. This is not a sign that he is a hostage. It is a sign of his status as an omega spouse. All Wen omegas are jealously guarded. Protected from eyes that may covet them. But Lan Wangji has a garden, with sparse flowers and a view of the sky, and that is something, at least. 

He gazes up at the sky and considers what he must do.

Can he lie? Can he bribe? Can he betray the principles he was raised with in order to survive?

A voice suspiciously like Wei Wuxian's - silvery and mocking, full of laughter - flits through his head. 

Those aren't the only principles you were raised with, eh Lan Wangji?

No.

His mother taught him very different lessons. Often at odd with the rules of the Gusu Lan sect. His mother tried to prepare him for this. It's time for him to remember her lessons and use them. 

It is small and shameful, and he will not speak of it to anyone else, but he has avoided using those very lessons because he fears playing the role of a good omega spouse will be proof that Wen Xu's touch has finally tainted him. Has changed him. 

But he must put his pride aside. He must live for the sake of the Lan sect. He must live because it would break his uncle and brother's hearts if he did not.

He must live, because he wants to live. 

It is that selfish desire - that fire - that drives him back into the bed chamber before dawn. He makes an accounting of all the valuable things he possesses. What Wen Xu will miss, and what he will not.

He bribes his first servant by mid-afternoon. 

He learns that Wen Xu's past mistresses have all been willowy, pale, elegant omegas. Wen Ruohan did not entirely discount his son's tastes when he arranged this match.

He learns that Wen Xu liked when they begged or wept, and must sit alone for a time. Thinking. 

The thoughts are not pleasant.

It takes time to build his courage. It is a different kind of courage than battle requires. It is - harder, somehow. No one will ever laud him for it, not even himself.

But one night, Wen Xu comes to use him, and Lan Wangji is ready. 

Wen Xu tells Lan Wangji to undress. The second he is naked, Wen Xu shoves him face first onto the bed. Climbs on top of him.

Lan Wangji can feel a hand wrenching the ornaments in his hair. Another hand shoving his thighs wide. Fingers bullying their way into him. 

So far all of this is familiar, almost dull for all that is still horrific. Lan Wangji has found he is good at removing himself from his body.

(This kind of forgetting is not without consequences, he knows. One day these memories will come for him. He has seen it in people who survive war or bad nighthunts. They are well, unscathed, and then one day when they are living in peace and contentment the memories come for them like a hand to the throat.

But Lan Wangji does not think he will see such contentment in a long time.) 

But this time Lan Wangji does not detach himself. He forces himself to remain present in his flesh. To feel the bed pressing against his cheek, his nose. The cold air on his back. Wen Xu's knee shoving his thigh. The grunt of Wen Xu's voice, calling him pretty. Wen Xu's cock, shoving into him. The wetness of his own body, adjusting to it, making room.

He forces himself to think of how he could have spent his whole life never feeling this, never knowing this kind of humiliation. He makes himself consider the years lying before him. He feels it all.

"Lan Zhan," Wen Xu murmurs. Slowing inside him. A hand brushes his cheek. "Are you crying?"

He is. He can feel the tears rolling down his face. He does not fight when Wen Xu turns his head to examine them. 

Wen Xu keeps brushing the tears away. He's smug, triumphant. “Sweet boy,” he says. “Darling. Does it hurt that much? Be good and it will be over soon.”

After, Wen Xu embraces him. He doesn't seem to care that Lan Wangji is stiff in his arms. Wen Xu thinks he has won. 

But he has not. The fool.

Wei Wuxian was right. If you don't convince him you're being broken in, he's going to break you for real. He won't stop.

Well, Wen Xu is convinced. He is almost considerate. He asks what gift Lan Wangji would like to cheer him up. 

Lan Wangji says nothing. Turns his face away. He is both unwilling to lie further, and aware that he must make his slow yielding to Wen Xu's will convincing. He would not relent so easily, so he will not.

Wen Xu chuckles. "New robes then," he says. "I think you'll like them." 

They arrive that week. Deep, lustrous red, so dark they're the colour of old blood. Lan Wangji does not thank him, but he wears them often, as if he is afraid of offending his husband, and marks how satisfied Wen Xu looks when he sees Lan Wangji in them. 

It takes months for Lan Wangji to fully break - to weep silently again, or bare his throat, or try and hide his face, overcome. To, finally, open his thighs without prompting. To let his husband take what he is owed. And Wen Xu grows more doting. Lavishes more gifts. 

Lan Wangji is still reticent. Unwilling to speak. But he expresses, once, a desire to see more of Nightless City. And Wen Xu begins to take his omega with him, parading his Lan Zhan across Nightless City like an ornament, a thing beaten into a pleasing shape, to be admired. 

Sometimes, Lan Wangji sees Wei Wuxian again. Wei Wuxian is always too loud, and smiles too wide. He is always trying to cajole Wen Xu into some dice game or bet, making Wen Xu laugh. He never looks at Lan Wangji.

And why should he? They are as good as strangers to one another. 

And yet. Sometimes Lan Wangji dreams of him in the blurred dark of the chamber that night. His pale throat. His silver eyes.

He dreams of saying: I did it. I lied to him. I am not truly broken. Underneath these red robes and lowered eyes I am still myself. 

I need you to know that I am still myself. I need you to call me second young master Lan again. I need to know that I have won, not lost. That I have lied to Wen Xu, not lied to myself.

I need to be seen. I entreat you, Wei Wuxian.

See me. 

-

Wen Xu's omega is no longer confined to his chambers. He accompanies his husband around Nightless City. He attends banquets and stands by his husband's side at conferences and meetings with allied sects, bedecked in the finest robes, his eyes lowered.

Wei Wuxian should be glad. 

Lan Wangji clearly took his advice. Good.

But every time Wen Xu swaggers over dragging Lan Wangji along with him, Wei Wuxian can't help but remember the man he met that night Wen Xu was drunk. That cold, severe man who seemed determined to break, not bend. And he... Well. 

Wei Wuxian misses that man. Stupid. He didn't even know Lan Wangji. He never will.

Still, he thinks about Lan Wangji more than he should. He's torturing some unlucky bastard of a Nie cultivator who fell into Wen Xu's clutches and all he can think is - I wonder if Lan Wangji ever thinks of doing what I'm doing right now to his husband? Probably not.

Lan Wangji seemed to moral for such evil thoughts.

He's washing blood from his hands when he hears a timid voice calling his name. There's a beta maid waiting, eyes big and frightened. 

"I- I have a message," she squeaks, and shoves a letter into his hands before running off.

He reads it. Swears, and burns it immediately.

That night, under moonlight, he finds his way into the private garden of Wen Xu's omega.

Lan Wangji is waiting for him. 

Lan Wangji has changed physically since his arrival at Nightless City, too. He's thinner, his hair arranged more softly, his whole posture more timid. But now he is sitting ramrod straight, and his eyes are sharp when they settle on Wei Wuxian.

"Wen Xu is not here," he says. 

"He'd better not be, or I'm dead, Lan Wangji," Wei Wuxian says. "Why did you tell me to come here?"

"I have a book of poetry written by the hand of Lan An, founder of my sect," Lan Wangji says. He is holding a slim tome on his lap, and lifts it now. Offering it. "It is yours." 

Wei Wuxian stares at him, stupefied.

Lan Wangji stares back.

"Wei Wuxian," he says finally, patiently. "It is a bribe."

Bribe...?

Right.

It's only then that Wei Wuxian realises he came here for nothing. No reward. Just Lan Wangji. He didn't even think of payment. 

Shit.

"Lan Wangji, do I look like a man who enjoys poetry?" he complains. "Couldn't you give me liquor? Money?"

"When you are mocking your fellow cultivators, you often quote classic works," Lan Wangji says. Eyes piercing. "I have listened. Take the book." 

If Wei Wuxian were a better man, he'd refuse.

He's not. He takes it. His fingers brush Lan Wangji's, just for a moment. It could be an accident.

(It's not.)

"Okay," he says, tucking the tome away. "Now. Why am I being bribed?"

"The doctor," says Lan Wangji. "You know her." 

Of course if Lan Wangji's heard him mock his fellow cultivators, he's heard the jokes about Wen Qing too. No one *really* believes they're fucking each other - Wen Qing is not a cutsleeve - but they do like to joke about Wei Wuxian's crush on her. He jokes about it too. 

It's not true. But it's safer than admitting they have a real friendship, for both of them.

"What about her?"

Lan Wangji is silent for a moment. He swallows. Then, evenly, he says, "My heat is approaching."

Oh. Oh. 

"I do not wish to have a child," Lan Wangji continues. "Not at all, if possible. But I will be content with delaying the matter. But I will need the doctor's assistance. What will it take to bribe her?" 

Wei Wuxian thinks of how fiercely Wen Qing protects her omega brother - how many marriage offers she has rejected on his behalf, how she has begged her uncle on her knees to spare Wen Ning from an unfeeling political match. 

He thinks of her sense of justice. The pride in her always at war with the demands of her sect.

"You don't need to bribe her," he manages to say. "She'll do it for nothing."

"Wen Xu will not allow me to meet her alone." 

"Tell him it's omega business. He'll run the other way."

"The doctor is an alpha."

"Right, right." Even with Wen Ning to chaperone, Wen Xu wouldn't accept that. "I'll speak to her." 

Lan Wangji closes his eyes. Just one moment. It's enough to reveal his relief and his fear. "Thank you," he says.

"There's no need for thanks," Wei Wuxian mutters. There are so many things he wants to say, but he doesn't have the right to. He bows, turning to go (over the wall - the way he came in) when Lan Wangji says, "Wei Wuxian."

Wei Wuxian stops.

"If... if you wish to speak again," Lan Wangji says haltingly. "Of Lan An's poetry. Or anything else. I would welcome it."

Why does his chest hurt?

"Ah," Wei Wuxian says. "That might be a bad idea." 

Something soft in Lan Wangji's face that Wei Wuxian hadn't even realised was there shutters away.

"As you say," Lan Wangji agrees, inclining his head. And the way he sounds, it makes Wei Wuxian to break something.

He doesn't think. Just. Turns back to Lan Wangji. Kneels before him. Lan Wangji is seated on a bench, so it's so easy for Wei Wuxian to press forehead against Lan Wangji's thigh, clothed in watery silk.

"This is why," Wei Wuxian manages. "This is why. You see? I want - I really like-"

A hand settles on the back of his neck. 

His breath catches in his throat. And the hand tightens and Wei Wuxian just melts. Yields.

He feels Lan Wangji's breath against his hair.

"I wish to see you again," Lan Wangji says quietly. "I will not compel you. I cannot."

You can, Wei Wuxian thinks. 

Lips brush his scalp. Then Lan Wangji's hand lifts, and Wei Wuxian is free.

"Wei Wuxian," Lan Wangji says. "When you next know I am alone, come."

"Yes," Wei Wuxian says. He feels... shy. Can't quite meet his eyes. "I'll come here, Lan Wangji. I promise." 

-

Lan Wangji has always found that his senses grow heightened before a heat approaches. It is normal for alphas and omegas to carefully control their scents, but in the time before heat, everything smells more intense to him. Flowers, the breeze. Skin. 

After Wei Wuxian leaves, Lan Wangji can still smell him on his clothes, his hands. Wei Wuxian smells like petrichor: like the aftermath of a storm.

Lan Wangji carefully scrubs his hands clean. He dabs water on his robes, too. Wen Xu cannot know. 

What would Wen Xu do, if he knew? He would kill Wei Wuxian, certainly. For daring to want Lan Wangji, for baring his neck, for kneeling so sweetly. He would probably kill Lan Wangji too, and kill the Lan sect with him.

Lan Wangji should not take this risk. 

But he needs an ally. He needs someone to help him. And there is no one but Wei Wuxian.

And Wei Wuxian gave his loyalty over so easily. It took nothing. A little vulnerability. A single touch. The weapons of an omega won him - just like that. 

If only Lan Wangji did not have his unyielding moral compass. If only he could use Wei Wuxian without regret. But he is still himself. Debasing himself to protect himself for Wen Xu is one thing. But using Wei Wuxian?

It would be simpler. Simpler than what happened 

It was a curse of the Lan clan, to love once and with utter devotion. Lan Wangji does not love Wei Wuxian. Cannot. But there was a moment. A single moment -

He casts the thought aside. 

Wen Xu accompanies him to the doctor, where Lan Wangji is examined. The doctor gives no sign that she has spoken to Wei Wuxian. At one point she tells Wen Xu that his omega has grown too thin. "If you want heirs, feed him properly," she says bluntly. 

There is a huge crash outside the room, and the doctor grasps Lan Wangji's arm tightly in clear alarm. "What is that?" she yelps, and Wen Xu goes to the door, scowling.

Lan Wangji feels something being discreetly slid into his sleeve. 

"Once pinch in tea morning and evening," the doctor mutters hurriedly. "Until your heat ends."

Lan Wangji does not react.

Wen Xu comes back. Apparently the doctor's brother was bringing tea and dropped the entire tray.

"The idiot," Wen Xu mutters, and the doctor scowls. But she says nothing.

Later, Lan Wangji brews his tea. Drinks it. It is bitter, but he is hopeful it will be enough.

His heat begins two days later.

His body grows sensitive, warm. His thighs slick. He aches, feeling hollow, hungry for something - food, or touch, or blood, or sex. His body does not care.

In his youth, he channelled his heat into swordplay, or suppressed it with meditation. Now, neither route is allowed. 

Now, he lies sweating on his bed. Naked, he watches Wen Xu undress. Wen Xu does it slowly, mockingly, as if he is enjoying Lan Wangji's growing need and his own power. "You smell so sweet," Wen Xu croons, dropping robes to the floor.

Wen Xu smells of musk. Arousal. 

Lan Wangji wants to tear out his throat with his fingers. He wants to run Bichen through his gut and watch him slowly die.

Instead, he buries his face against the bed and spreads his legs.

Wen Xu laughs. "Begging already, Lan Zhan?" 

Get it over with, Lan Wangji thinks. If you must, then do it.

He arches, raising his hips. He knows, from experience, how much Wen Xu likes this pose.

Sure enough, he feels Wen Xu's hands settle on his hips. Feels him press into Lan Wangji. 

Being fucked, Lan Wangji has learned, can give the body pleasure even as the mind recoils. He does not want this, but his body gamely clenches and takes and meets each thrust. And he comes, which delights Wen Xu. It always does. 

Wen Xu grips him tight enough to bruise when he knots him. As if he is afraid Lan Wangji will run. But Lan Wangji does not. He grits his teeth, the stretch of the knot hot and blinding, and thinks of the tea. The tea. The tea. 

Wen Xu knots him twice more before falling asleep, and Lan Wangji can only stumble from the bed. Sore, aching. Make the tea and drink it, and stumble back to sleep until the heat burns through him again and he wakes, panting with Wen Xu already inside him. 

They are some of the worst days of his life.

The worst - the very worst - is the night he begins to hallucinate. Such things can happen in heat. It is a kind of fever, after all. He sees faceless eyes watching him, as Wen Xu hooks his legs over his shoulders and ruts into him.

He dreams of another face wavering over Wen Xu's. Of Wei Wuxian sliding gently between his legs, and kissing Lan Wangji and whispering, "Like this? Do you like this?"

That is the only time he fights. But Wen Xu subdues him easily, and does not stop. 

At the end of it, Lan Wangji is almost certain he drunk the tea as ordered. But nothing matches the feeling of relief that fills him when he is marched to the doctor, who declares dispassionately that he is not with child.

"As I told you," she says to Wen Xu, cold-eyed. "Feed him properly. Treat him well. Then you may have your heirs."

Wen Xu does not blame Lan Wangji. This time.

Lan Wangji requests, meekly, time to rest and recover. He implies he wishes to be strong enough, his next heat, to get with child. 

Wen Xu agrees. He will leave Lan Wangji alone, untouched, at least for a few days. So that he may recover his strength after a taxing heat. Lan Wangji kisses him in thanks. He is suitably grateful.

Then, when Wen Xu is gone, he sends a message to Wei Wuxian. 

-

While Wen Xu's been off seeing to his omega's heat, his men have been busy. He doesn't like to leave them idle, and there's always work to be done.

For once, Wei Wuxian is glad of that. He doesn't want to think about Lan Wangji and Wen Xu. But he can't stop. 

Sect Leader Ouyang is blustering. He's frightened - he does not understand why cultivators from the Wen sect are here in his home. He's relieved one of the central family are not here, but also insulted that all he merits is, well, Wei Wuxian. He doesn't know what to say. 

Luckily for him, right now Wei Wuxian doesn't care what the sect leader says. He's thinking about Lan Wangji, and how long it's been since Wei Wuxian last allowed himself to hate Wen Xu. It's not safe, hating Wen Xu. All it'll do is lead Wei Wuxian to his own death. 

Wei Wuxian is currently sprawled over Sect Leader Ouyang's throne, drinking some of the sect leader's best liquor. It's all part of the job. "When we're dealing with subordinate sects, I'll expect you to do what you do best," Wen Xu has said to him, many times. "Offend them." 

Wei Wuxian asked, once, what came next. What should he do when people... reacted to offense?

"Kill something they love, of course," Wen Xu said mildly. "Show them what defying the Wen sect means. What else are you for?" 

He's been a very obedient servant to his master since then.

Now, he drinks, making eye contact with the sect leader, who has been rambling on. Wei Wuxian doesn't blink. Sect Leader Ouyang's voice dwindles to silence. 

"Your first disciple," Wei Wuxian says finally. He licks the liquor from his lips. Sits up. "He's been writing to the Nie sect."

The sect leader pales.

"N-no. He would not. He has not."

"Would not, has not," Wei Wuxian repeats mockingly. "Do you not know what your own cultivators are up to? Are you really a complete idiot, Sect Leader?"

He does not bother to bluster or argue. He is already kneeling, begging for his wife to be spared. His children. If his life must be taken-

"Shut up," Wei Wuxian says. 

He gets up. Strides away from the throne, toward the sect leader.

"We'll be torturing all your senior disciples, of course. We of the Wen sect must root out traitors. But they'll live if they're honest. Will they be honest?"

Sect Leader Ouyang stammers assurances. 

Wei Wuxian drinks again. He feels very detached from his body. That isn't unusual. But this time, he thinks of Lan Wangji. Those cool eyes. That face.

"You have two sons," Wei Wuxian says casually. "Don't you?"

He already knows the sect leader does. 

But the sect leader confirms it. One older son, seventeen, an alpha, his father's pride and joy and sect heir. And an infant.

"It is the view of Sect Leader Wen," Wei Wuxian says, "that you only need one heir. A loyal heir. An heir raised to understand your position." 

The sect leader makes a broken sound. He already knows what's coming.

"Your current heir isn't fit for his position," Wei Wuxian says. "Ah, don't beg me! That isn't *my* opinion, Sect Leader! But my master thinks your heir isn't truly respectful of the Wen sect. Maybe you'll teach the younger one better."

Sect Leader Ouyang begs and protests, even as his disciples are rounded up. But his older son does not fight. He faces his end bravely.

After - Wei Wuxian makes sure his own men all have food and liquor and rest. 

Then he walks off alone. He finds a beautiful spot - trees, moonlight over him. And he vomits.

This is what surviving means. This is what it has always meant for Wei Wuxian. Taking someone else's life.

Maybe that's why he can't stop thinking of Lan Wangji. 

Around Lan Wangji he feels - brave. He feels able to be a better person.

There is something in him that wants to do good and be good, and it yearns for Lan Wangji, as if it can sense the same thing in him. 

He returns to Nightless City, and learns from gossip that Wen Xu's omega is not pregnant, but Wen Xu is now besotted with him. Wen Xu has commanded that Lan Zhan receive only the finest, richest foods, and always have a warm fire and tea and anything else he may desire. 

Lan Zhan, he tells his men, is going to rest for a while. He implies he wore his omega out, but under the crudeness of that is something - possessive.

It makes Wei Wuxian angry. But there's nothing he can do. And isn't this best for Lan Wangji - to be favoured? 

Soon after receives another message, slipped to him by a frightened omega servant.

Lan Wangji wants to see him again. 

He shouldn't go, but of course he goes. He climbs the wall into Lan Wangji's garden, and there he is. Lan Wangji is already waiting, seated where he was the first time. The moment he sees Wei Wuxian, he stands. Strides over.

"Wei Wuxian," he says. 

"Lan Wangji," Wei Wuxian says back. He finds himself smiling. He can't help it "Lan Wangji," he says again. "Have you missed me?"

Lan Wangji's eyes on him are searching, tender. He cups Wei Wuxian's face in his hands. "You are not well," he says.

"I am!" Wei Wuxian protests. 

"No." Lan Wangji sounds certain.

"I should be asking how you are, Lan Wangji."

"You should not. I do not wish to speak of it."

"I-"

"Do not apologise," Lan Wangji says. "I am glad you think of me. But the heat - was as I expected. There is nothing more to be said." 

Wei Wuxian swallows. "How I feel is expected, too," he says. "I... did what was expected of me. You know I'm one of Wen Xu's people. You know what we do."

It's as close as he can bring himself to telling Lan Wangji everything. All the dark, bloody things he's done. How can Lan Wangji, pure and good as he is, understand? How could he accept it?

Lan Wangji presses their foreheads together.

"One day," Lan Wangji says, "I hope you will have a different path to walk. As I hope for myself." 

Wei Wuxian lets out a choked noise. He doesn't - he can't-

Lan Wangji swallows the noise with a kiss. 

Lan Wangji does not kiss tentatively or chastely. He kisses like he is a parched man and Wei Wuxian is water. He drags Wei Wuxian closer, tangling a hand in his hair, tilting his head to meet Lan Wangji's mouth. And Wei Wuxian responds just as eagerly, just as desperately. 

Wei Wuxian knows distantly that they should talk. About this. That Lan Wangji has been hurt and there are things he may not want. That after pleasure's been turned into a weapon, it can be difficult to feel it without expecting it to cut, hurt. But Lan Wangji does not stop kissing him, as he drags Wei Wuxian into the bed chamber. He pushes Wei Wuxian down onto the bed and does not stop to speak. His hands are on Wei Wuxian's chest, his thighs; are circling his throat, are pinning his hands.

"Stay," Lan Wangji commands. 

So Wei Wuxian stays. Neck bared, hands crossed above his head, as Lan Wangji kisses his forehead, his cheeks, his throat. As Lan Wangji parts Wei Wuxian's robes and opens his trousers and takes hold of his cock in one hot, large palm. The sound Wei Wuxian makes would be embarrassing, if he had the sense left to be ashamed of anything.

Lan Wangji hushes him. Lowers his head. Wei Wuxian hears the rustle of robes; feels it as Lan Wangji settles over him, legs parted, knees on either side of Wei Wuxian's hips.

Lan Wangji hesitates. It's only a brief hesitation. It could mean nothing. But Wei Wuxian whispers, "Anything you want. Lan Wangji, anything -"

Lan Wangji makes a soft noise. He touches his thumb to Wei Wuxian's lower lip. His eyes are almost black, now. Maybe that hesitation wasn't fear. Maybe it was the last of Lan Wangji's restraint crumbling away.

"Anything?" he asks.

Wei Wuxian cannot speak with Lan Wangji's thumb on his mouth. He just nods.

And Lan Wangji... smiles. Small, secret.

"Then do not come," he says. "Until I allow it." 

There is a moment of adjustment - as Lan Wangji widens his own legs, and reaches for Wei Wuxian's cock - and then he's sliding down, slow and torturous, hips angled, taking Wei Wuxian inside of him. He's wet and tight and Wei Wuxian can only tremble and take it. 

Lan Wangji keeps brushing back his hair, or tracing his lips, the shell of an ear, the line of his jaw. Every touch tender. But he uses Wei Wuxian mercilessly - first deep and slow, then shallow circles of his hips. Seeking the rhythm, the depth that gives him the most pleasure. 

And Wei Wuxian is pinned under him, panting and overwhelmed, gripping his own wrists hard enough to hurt. There to be used.

"L-lan Wangji," he manages. "I - I can't."

"You can."

"Don't want to - disappoint-"

"Wei Wuxian could not disappoint me." He sounds so sure. 

"Wei Ying," he gasps out. He can't explain - that he wants to give Lan Wangji something no one else has. A gift, all of himself. "Please, can you-"

"Wei Ying." Lan Wangji's voice is so tender. He grinds down hard enough that for a moment Wei Wuxian's vision is all stars. "Mine." 

It's too much. Wei Wuxian lets out a strangled yell, biting his own lip to hold the noise back. Arches, and comes.

He manages not to knot Lan Wangji, though the desire is there - he wants to give Lan Wangji everything, everything. But he can't give him this. 

Instead, he clumsily grasps at Lan Wangji's hips. Says, "Sorry," says, "Please, let me, if you-" and coaxed Lan Wangji up. Lan Wangji watches him, curious and confused, face flushed with arousal, as Wei Wuxian drags Lan Wangji's hips up over his face. 

Wei Wuxian doesn't explain. Just grasps Lan Wangji's thighs, where they frame his own face, and draws him down. Licks hungrily into his slick heat.

Lan Wangji stiffens, letting out a ragged gasp. Then he melts - pressing himself against Wei Wuxian's mouth. Grasping his hair. 

Wei Wuxian can taste himself mingled with Lan Wangji's arousal and it's overwhelming. He can't breathe and he doesn't care - never wants this to end. But Lan Wangji's movements are growing more desperate, and Wei Wuxian can only keep on kissing, licking, giving him what he needs. 

Lan Wangji goes taut, his body shaking, silent as he comes. And then he softens, body gentling. He brushes a hand over Wei Wuxian's hair. "Wei Ying," he says. "Wei Ying."

Wei Wuxian isn't sure he can respond. Or move. But Lan Wangji takes him into his arms. Kisses him. 

"I have never," he begins. Then says instead, "Could you breathe?"

"Would have - happily died," Wei Wuxian manages blearily.

Lan Wangji is shaking. It takes Wei Wuxian a moment to realise he's silently laughing. Smiling fondly. 

"Lan Wangji, next time, I promise I'll do as I'm told," he says, almost whining as he wriggles onto his side so he can see more of that smile. "I vow it. I won't come until you say so."

It's only after he says it that he realises what he's assumed. Next time. More of this.  As if this isn't the most dangerous thing he and Lan Wangji could have chosen to do.

"Next time," Lan Wangji agrees. And he kisses Wei Wuxian again. Solemn, like it's a vow. 

-

After Lan Wangji's heat with Wen Xu, the maids provided him methods to 'clear' the scent of heat and rut from a room: incense, herbs. Then, careful laundering of clothes and sheets.

After Wei Wuxian leaves, Lan Wangji lights incense. His maids will not be suspicious. 

Sometimes heat's strength can linger in scent, even after it ends. They will assume Lan Wangji has acted out of an excess of shame or caution. They will assume the scent on them - what will remain of it - is Lan Wangji's own. And though he is still afraid, he feels - triumphant.

He has loved and been loved, freely. By his own choice. Even if he loses everything, he cannot have this taken from him. 

It is this knowledge that sustains him when his husband decides he has rested enough, and comes to take him again. He is not this Lan Zhan, this belonging of Wen Xu's. This is a lie he is telling. The real Lan Wangji was the one who kissed Wei Wuxian. Who took him. 

He meets Wen Ruohan and Wen Chao for a truly excruciating family dinner. Wen Chao needles at him, and Wen Xu snaps back, telling his brother to bother his own mistress. Wen Ruohan smiles at him, eyes malicious, and compliments him on his new obedience. 

Then Wen Ruohan says, almost casually, that he hopes Lan Wangji will be with child by the next discussion conference. If he his, he may - may - be permitted to see his birth family, who will no doubt be in attendance.

Lan Wangji feels cold. He had not realised he would be denied even the sight of his uncle and brother, if he failed to meet his new family's standards. But he bows his head, and thanks his father-in-law for his generosity.

"Don't worry," Wen Xu says later, caressing Lan Wangji's hair as if Lan Wangji is his dog, his pet. "You'll be pregnant before then. I'll make sure of it."

And then Wen Xu proceeds to demonstrate his enthusiasm for the task. Lan Wangji allows it to happen, holding on to Wen Xu's arms as he is rutted, and thinks about the choices that lie ahead of him. 

He is glad for the reprieve, when he is told that Wen Xu will be going to war with the Nie sect again. Lan Wangji will remain in Nightless City without him.

But Wei Wuxian will be going tOo.

They meet one more time. It is the middle of the day. Dangerous. 

They can do no more than kiss, in the shade of Lan Wangji's walled garden. "I'll miss you," Wei Wuxian says. "Ah, Lan Wangji, what will I do without you?"

"You are often without me."

"But I know you're near!" 

Wei Wuxian pouts, and it is a sign of how besotted Lan Wangji is that he finds this loveable.

"Then I will give you a token," Lan Wangji says, deciding. He removes one of the ribbons from his own hair - Wen red. But it is made from Gusu silk, a gift he carried with him from home. It is not a gift anyone will notice is missing. Anyone may have a red ribbon. Only Lan Wangji will know it came from him.

He binds it tenderly into Wei Wuxian's own hair. Then kisses his bared neck. 

"Now I will be with you always," he promises.

Three months of peace and loneliness and follow. Without Wen Xu hovering over him, he begins to know the household, and is surprised to discover he is... not disliked. 

He is allowed the company of a fellow Wen omega, Wen Ning, who tells him that really, there are many who feel Nightless City needs a softer influence. Not, he stammers, that Lan Zhan is soft. Only, he is not - not Wen Xu - and that is enough. 

Wen Ruohan's deceased omega was a powerful force in Nightless City. But, Wen Ning says, not meeting Lan Wangji's eyes, it was being mother to heirs that gave him that power.

There is a place for Lan Wangji here. If he is willing to take it. If he willing to pay the price. 

Lan Wangji is inspected again by the doctor, with a Wen omega uncle as chaperone, and is told his next heat will soon be due. His husband will return soon enough.

"Lan Wangji," Wen Qing says in a low voice. And Lan Wangji almost - startles. Hearing his courtesy name from her. 

"Don't worry," she tells him, gesturing at the uncle. "He's nearly deaf. He'll give us no trouble." But still she speaks quietly, quickly. "I can't help you again, Lan Wangji. I'm sorry. If anyone discovers the truth they will know I must have helped you. I care deeply for Wei Wuxian. Last time, I helped you as a favour to him. But I must protect myself and my family. I can't act again. I'm sorry."

Lan Wangji says nothing. What he can say? His throat feels as if it has closed.

"Lady Wen," he manages, finally. "I understand." 
"If you get with child..." she hesitates, then says. "There are ways. That can make it seem - accidental."

He nods his understanding. He does not wish to make any of the choices that lie before him. But he must. He must. 

Wen Xu returns. He has not defeated the Nie, but Lan Wangji dresses for celebration, in bright colours, a gold guan in his hair, his mouth painted red. He forces himself to almost, almost smile when he meets his husband's eyes. He sees the way it makes Wen Xu soften. 

He lowers his gaze. From the corner of his eye he sees Wei Wuxian, standing behind Wen Xu. Sees Wei Wuxian look at him, mouth parting, as if he cannot help himself.

"My alpha," he says, deferentially, even as his eyes fix upon Wei Wuxian. "This one welcomes you home." 

-

There's going to be a banquet. Everyone's excited for it. All the men keep talking about it - the liquor they'll drink, the food they'll eat. War is hard and ugly work and they deserve a reward for surviving.

All Wei Wuxian wants to do is see Lan Wangji. 

He sees Lan Wangji greet Wen Xu. And Lan Wangji looks - perfect. And Wei Wuxian wants him. In another life, another place, he'd just fling himself straight into Lan Wangji's arms. Trust that Lan Wangji would catch him. 

But here, he can only watch. Sick with wanting.

He drinks too much, at the banquet. He wants to go to Lan Wangji but he can't. Wen Xu already left a while ago. Wei Wuxian knows where he is. He finds a roof instead. Drinks, watching the stars.

Wen Qing finds him. 

She cajoles him down. Gets him to drink a bitter tonic that will make tomorrow more bearable. She makes him lie down in her workroom, which smells of herbs and incense and safety.

"Wen Qing," he says. Fumbling for words. Tired. "I can't go on like this." 
"Wei Wuxian," she sighs.

"I can't keep..." he wriggles his hands. "Too much blood," he says. "When you've spilled more blood than you've got inside you. Is it still worth it? Is surviving worth it?"

"Surviving is always worthwhile," she says. 

He closes his eyes. "I just want," he mumbles. "A little farm. And chickens. Maybe a donkey. And him, waiting for me...."

He sleeps.

When he wakes, Wen Ning is sitting beside him. Crying.

"I don't know what to do," Wen Ning whispers. And then he tells Wei Wuxian. everything. 

-

Lan Wangji can feel his heat approaching again. He dreaded his last heat, of course but the dread he feels now is... different. Before, he did not know what was coming. And he hoped he would survive it unscathed.

Now he knows exactly what faces him. 

Wen Xu is aware that his heat is due, too, and is excited. He is... attentive. He arranges for the most nourishing foods, and asks if there is anything Lan Wangji would like. A new robe? Jewellery? (His sense of what an omega may want is severely limited.) 

Lan Wangji demurs, claiming he needs nothing. When Wen Xu persists in asking, Lan Wangji feigns reluctance, and asks for the freedom to explore Nightless City with nothing but a suitable Wen family chaperone. He would like to get to know his household. If he is going to raise a child here, as a good omega mother he must get to know the servants and maids who will help him rear Wen Xu's heir.

Wen Xu agrees.

Slowly, Lan Wangji's freedom is growing. 

One night, after sex, Wen Xu stays. Holding Lan Wangji. Lan Wangji feigns sleep as Wen Xu caresses his hair. Gentle strokes. Saying tender words, about how he missed Lan Wangji during battle.

"You aren't as bad as I once believed you'd be, Lan Zhan," he murmurs. 

It sickens Lan Wangji how relief courses through him at those words. How grateful he feels.

His life belongs to this man. It is not surprise that kind words feel like a gift, a pleasure - they release him for a little while from the worry and fear that constantly strangles him. 

He will not forget that he hates Wen Xu. He will not forget that Wen Xu's kindness is as much a weapon intended to break and leash Lan Wangji as his cruelty is.

He curls a hand against Wen Xu's chest and presses closer to him. As if he is content.

A lie. 

He makes a plan, in his ahead. It is not a good plan. It is not a bad one. It is a narrow path carved by his own hands. A path for survival, and maybe joy: He will give Wen Xu his heir. He will gain more freedom. And over time, as Wen Xu grows bored with him, he will take advantage of what freedom he has, and seek time with Wei Wuxian. Moments stolen but sweet. Love to keep him going.

It could fall apart so easily. But he has to hope for something. Once, he had grander ideals. Ambition. But this life has demanded a price from him. 

To even hope for this is almost too much.

His plans swiftly go awry. 

He is not in his chambers when his heat arrives - early, and suddenly. Last time, he had days of warning: scent growing stronger, his sense sharpening. This time, he feels nothing at first. Nothing, then waves of fire rolling through him. A cramp low in his stomach. 

There is a Wen aunt, from a lesser family branch, accompanying him. She is standing a few steps behind him. When she reaches him, she will scent the heat on him. She will hurry him back to his chambers. Wen Xu will be summoned. And then. Then – 

The revulsion that works its way through him is from deep in his soul. He cannot. He will not. He looks back. The aunt is talking to a maid. She is chattering, not looking at him.

He makes a decision, in that moment, on the back of his sudden heat that he may one day regret: 

He takes advantage of her distraction. Goes down a corridor. Slips away from his chaperone.

He is still Lan Wangji. Still a trained cultivator. He can move quietly and unseen if he wishes to. And he does. 

When he was still - himself - he could manage heat with meditation, and he draws on old skills now. He does not know where he is going. (He knows. In his bones, he knows.) He moves from grand corridors to shabbier ones. He will soon be noticed no matter what he does. 

But he has not forgotten that Wei Wuxian, valued as he is by Wen Xu, has his own modest chambers near the doctor's quarters. Has not forgotten things whispered in the quiet of a bedchamber, just the two of them. 

He has followed the path to the doctor. Followed the scent of medicinal herbs.

Still, it's luck - some kind of terrible fortune - that leads him to lean against a wall, breathing unsteadily, and hear footsteps coming down the corridor. And see Wei Wuxian walk round the corner. 

Wei Wuxian freezes. His eyes widen. There are more footsteps, echoes following behind him.

Wei Wuxian darts toward him, grabbing by the arm. Drags him through the first door to the left and slams it behind them. 

"Lan Wangji," he whispers, panicked. "What are you-?" Then his nostrils flare. His eyes dilate. "Shit," he says. "Fuck, shit. You're-"

"Wei Ying." Lan Wangji grasps Wei Wuxian's arms. Draws him closer. Touches their foreheads together. "Wei Ying. I do not want to. Not. Wen Xu." 

Wei Wuxian is silent. Lan Wangji hears footsteps pass the room. Fade.

"Wei Ying," he says. And realises to his horror that he is weeping. Silent tears are pouring from his eyes. "I do not want his touch. I do not want his child." 

"Wen Qing," Wei Wuxian says hoarsely.

"Cannot help," says Lan Wangji. "And I cannot avoid this forever. I..."

He slides to the floor. Drags Wei Wuxian down with him.

"No one has asked," he says. "If they did I would say no. But no one will ask." 

The tears do not stop. He blames his heat. He blames himself for believing all his life that he was strong, then finding his strength could not contend with this: a forced marriage, a husband determined to break him. The threat of a child.

"Lan Wangji." 

Wei Wuxian presses their foreheads closer together. Clutches him tights. Says, voice broken, "I'll help you escape. Right now if you want. I'll get you out."

"Escape is simple," Lan Wangji says. "I am a cultivator still. I could run. But my family, my sect, would pay the price." 

"Ask me anything and I'll do it," Wei Wuxian says fervently. "Lan Wangji, anything. Anything I can do. Please let me help-"

Lan Wangji kisses him. 

Wei Wuxian does not argue or protest. Does not say they should not. He kisses back eagerly, holding Lan Wangji's face in his hands like it is precious, like he is precious. Their legs tangle. 

He does not protest when Lan Wangji parts both their robes. When Lan Wangji spreads his legs and says, "Wei Ying. Please-"

Wei Wuxian surges into him, kissing his face all the while. Lan Wangji is wet and aching, beyond ready, and the feel of Wei Wuxian inside him is sweet. 

It's clumsy, desperate fucking. Almost silent, as they muffle noises against each other's mouths. But when Lan Wangji's pleads for Wei Wuxian's knot, Wei Wuxian makes a broken noise. He shoves deep. Then Lan Wangji feels it: the swell of a knot, all pressure. Filling him. 

Orgasm ripples through him, but it's not as much of a relief as the feeling of being knotted - of Wei Wuxian kissing his face and whispering his name, worshipful.

They stay there until the knot eases; until Wei Wuxian can withdraw from him. 

The heat is still thrumming in Lan Wangji, but he can think again.

Wei Wuxian's expression is grave.

"You smell like me," he says.

"I do," Lan Wangji agrees hoarsely. 

"If you get back to your room unseen. If you bathe..." Wei Wuxian hesitates. "Is that what you want, Lan Wangji? I can still help you escape. I'll do it."

Lan Wangji sucks in a breath. Releases.

"I will go back to Wen Xu," he says. "There is no other choice. I was foolish." 

Some light dies in Wei Wuxian's face. Maybe it is just that a light has died in Lan Wangji. Maybe all he sees is a reflection of his own loss.

"Okay," Wei Wuxian says quietly. "Lets get you back." 

Wei Wuxian leads him along a careful, hidden route back to his chambers.

There is a headache building behind Lan Wangji's eyes. If he tells the aunt his heat overcame and he grew lost - or if he says very little, and allows her to draw her own conclusions - if he bathes – 

If - if - if -

He may be able to hide this. He may be able to overcome his own revulsion, his own desire for freedom. He may live.

His body is burning. His mind is beginning to flame.

"Almost there," Wei Wuxian mutters. 

Lan Wangji sees the door to his own chambers. The usual guards are not present. Perhaps they do not stay there when he is not within. He does not know.

The doors open. His stomach plummets, and Wei Wuxian goes still at his side. 

But it is only an omega servant, carrying linens, leaving the room. He hears Wei Wuxian exhale. But Lan Wangji...

Once, he used the way heat heightened his sense to his benefit. Channelled it for battle. That same instinct comes to him now, as the servant turns toward him. 

The servant reaches into the linens, and Lan Wangji darts forward, using all his strength to throw them against the wall. Wei Wuxian lets out a yell.

The servant leaps to the side, sword in hand, and turn back toward him just as swiftly. Killing intent. 

An assassin. But why-? For him?

He cannot question it further. He rolls to the side and feels the reverberation of the sword meeting the floor beside him, cracking stone. A cultivator, then. He moves, reaching and...

Finds nothing. Of course, he has no sword of his own. 

His hesitation costs him. The cultivator moves to stab him through the chest - and Wei Wuxian moves between them, his sword an arc of silver, parrying viciously.

Wei Wuxian fights furiously, brutal, efficient. If Lan Wangji was his full self, he would admire his skill. 

tw gore

But the assassin is also very good, and draws blood. He smells it before he sees it - Wei Wuxian's petrichor scent mingled with rust, darkness. It spills over the floor, and Wei Wuxian snarls, and darts forward, and stabs the assassin through the gut. Then, the throat. 

The assassin falls to the ground dead. And Wei Wuxian is panting, still holding his sword.

Lan Wangji gets to his feet. He can hear shouting. Running. They were not quiet.

"Wei Ying," he says roughly. "You're wounded."

Wei Wuxian is breathing unsteadily. But he reaches determinedly for his own wounded side, drenching his hand in blood. Making it bleed worse.

Lan Wangji makes an alarmed noise, then quiets when Wei Wuxian smears him in his blood. Over his cheek, his throat, where heat scent gathers most strongly. 

"When they smell me on you, they'll think it's the blood," he says roughly. "You'll be safe, Lan Wangji. I promise."

Before Lan Wangji can reply, there are Wen cultivators running into the corridor. There is Wen Xu, eyes wild. He grabs Lan Wangji. 

"Lan Zhan," he says. "Are you hurt? What happened here?" This is barked at Wei Wuxian, who manages an explanation that is only partly a lie. He claims to have found Lan Wangji in heat, dazed and lost. Claims he brought him here, and then the assassin - and as Wen Xu can see... 

Lan Wangji's heat drags him into a haze. Wen Qing is summoned. Lan Wangji is bathed. Lan Wangji finds himself on his bed the scent of blood fading on his cheek, as his husband fucks him and marks his throat with his teeth. 

"You were lucky you were found by that damned cutsleeve," Wen Xu pants out. "Anyone else would have touched you. Anyone else would have fucked you. Useless, all an omega's good for -"

And then, later, tender: "I'm so glad you're safe. What if I'd lost you?" 

It is only after his heat that he learns the assassin was sent by a minor sect that sought vengeance against Wen Xu. He had taken their wealth. Their eldest son. They had sought to take a valuable object from him in turn. And what else, truly, was Lan Wangji? 

He learned it from the gossiping Wen cousin who sat by him as they waited for Wen Qing to arrive. Wen Xu had left some time ago, having finished with Lan Wangji and his heat, and told Lan Wangji the doctor would see to him in the privacy of his chambers. Lan Wangji would be going nowhere for some time.

Wen Qing is very late. Lan Wangji listens to the cousin prattle with quiet dread pooling inside him. If - if -

He cannot not finish the thought. Wen Qing enters. Her face is very pale. She takes a step forward. Stumbles. 

Lan Wangji rises and catches her. Alarmed he says, "Lady Wen. Are you unwell?"

Her hand grasps his arm.

"Lan Wangji," she whispers. "I am afraid Wei Wuxian is in trouble." 

-

Wen Xu seems to believe the lie that he and Lan Wangji told. That's good.

Through the days and nights of Lan Wangji's heat, Wei Wuxian dreams about Lan Wangji. He dreams about sex, sometimes. But mostly, he dreams of a house in the middle of nowhere. And Lan Wangji smiling. Lan Wangji's nose burnt by the sun. Lan Wangji letting Wei Wuxian brush his hair. A little child, with Lan Wangji's solemn eyes and Wei Wuxian's smile, clinging to his leg-

He wakes and it's like he hasn't slept at all. 

He thinks, maybe he shouldn't have listened to Lan Wangji. He should have got him out. But so many people haven't listened to Lan Wangji. So many, and Wei Wuxian doesn't want to be one more of them.

He waits, and listens. He gives most of his savings, carefully wrapped in cloth to an older Wen branch family member everyone just calls popo. He writes a letter to Lan Wangji he can never send, and burns it. He waits some more.

Then he hears it. Hands slamming against his door. "Wei Wuxian!" Wen Qing's voice, terrified. "Wei Wuxian!" 

He opens the door and says, "When did Wen Xu take your brother?"

Wen Qing's mouth works, soundless. "What did he do?" she says finally. "Wen Xu won't allow me in. I..." 

Wei Wuxian shakes his head. Smiles. "Don't worry," he says. "It's going to be fine."

He walks down one corridor. The next. He's wearing his plainest black robes. The only splash of colour on him is the red ribbon binding his hair. 

The guards let him in. He's Wen Xu's man. They trust him. Wen Xu's standing, eyes vicious, blood on his knuckles. Wen Ning is on the floor, mouth swollen. He looks up, panicked, whispering Wei Wuxian's name.

Wei Wuxian bows.

"Master," he says. "Wen Ning is no traitor." 

"Is he not?" Wen Xu's voice is silken, malevolent. He looks more like his father than ever. "So someone else has been sharing military secrets with the Jiang sect? It wasn't Wen Ning who advised Jiang Fengmian to flee Lotus Pier before my brother's ambush?"

"No." 

"No," Wen Ning echoes, pleading. "I didn't - you said you'd help, not, not this-"

"He's only a foolish omega," Wei Wuxian says calmly. "What does he know of war? I tricked him into taking a letter to a Jiang spy. He didn't even know what he was carrying. It was all me." 

He cuts a contemptuous look at Wen Ning who looks pale, sick. Who cried in front of Wei Wuxian, and told him he knew he was going to be caught, and could Wei Wuxian please, please protect his sister when he was gone, comfort her-

"Not this," Wen Ning whispers.

"Poor thing."  Wei Wuxian's lip curls. "I should have let him take the blame, but look at him. Even I'm not that cruel."

"Are you not?" Wen Xu's silken voice, again.

"Fine," Wei Wuxian says. "I owe his sister too much for that. I know my debts." 

Wen Xu is silent. His eyes black. "Get out," he says finally, to Wen Ning. "Now."

Wen Ning doesn't move. So Wen Xu kicks him and kicks him again, and shouts, and finally Wen Ning goes. Bleeding and limping, but alive.

"And what about what you owe the Wen sect, Wei Wuxian?" Wen Xu steps closer. Sword drawn. "Wei Wuxian. What were you before the Wen sect took you in? Before I made something out of you? What worth did you have?"

Wei Wuxian swallows.

"I was good," he said. "And now I'm not. I gave all my goodness to your sect. My debt is paid." 

He expects the blow to his stomach. It doesn't make the punch hurt any less. Or the next one. Or the next.

His vision begins to grow hazy. He knows he won't get a quick death but he made his choice. He's not - he's not happy. But he. He's saved one person. He's...

A noise. 

The sound of the door. The whisper of footsteps. A familiar voice.

"Husband." Lan Wangji's voice is low, even. "Forgive me for intruding."

"Who allowed you in, Lan Zhan?"

"The guards did not dare refuse," Lan Wangji says, as Wei Wuxian thinks, no, no. "I am your omega." 

Wei Wuxian can barely see. But there - the pale rose of Lan Wangji's robes. Lan Wangji kneeling beside him. Lan Wangji bowing to the floor.

"Please, husband," he says. "This man saved my life. Please spare him."

No, no, no. 

Wen Xu sighs.

"Lan Zhan," he says. "Do you think I've forgotten what you were? Do you think I don't know why you want a traitor to live? You'd see the Wen sect burn and you wouldn't shed a tear. Just like him."

He kicks Wei Wuxian again. It barely hurts anymore. 

"I do not belong to the Lan sect anymore," Lan Wangji says. "I belong to you."

"Do you really know that Lan Zhan? Do you? Or did you try and run from me when your heat came? Do you think I didn't realise?" His voice is savage. "Do you think you're *better* than me?" 

"No," Lan Wangji says.

"Liar," says Wen Xu. He calls out. A handful of cultivators enter. Most of them are men Wei Wuxian has fought alongside. Drank with.

"Hold a blade to his stomach," he says, pointing at Wei Wuxian. "If he moves gut him. He deserves a slow death." 

Now that Wei Wuxian is being watched, he focuses on Lan Wangji. Wei Wuxian sees it - how he grasps Lan Wangji by the hair. Lifts his head. Presses a palm to Lan Wangji's cheek, tender.

Slaps him, hard enough to make his head snap to the side. Then again. 

And again. And again. Again. Again.

It is endless, awful. The sounds of slaps, and Lan Wangji's huffs of almost silent breath, and Wen Xu's implacable expression, firm. As if he is doing something right, corrective.

Lan Wangji does not defend himself. Because there is a blade to Wei Wuxian's stomach. Because there is a blade to his sect. Because he is trying to save Wei Wuxian's life.

Wei Wuxian realises he's crying. He can't help it. This isn't how he wants to see Lan Wangji, the very last time. 

There is a farm, he tells himself. A farm in the middle of nowhere. And Lan Wangji is sunburned, smiling...

"Who is the alpha here? Who owns you? Who do you obey? Who decides whether you eat or sleep or see your fucking family again?"

"You do." 

Lan Wangji's voice is wet with blood. Wei Wuxian sees it. A thin drip from his mouth.

Another slap.

"Do you control my decisions? Do you get to ask for mercy?"

Lan Wangji closes his eyes.

"Please," he says. "He saved my life." 

Wen Xu sighs, and hits him again, hard enough that he falls back. "Go to your room and wait for me there," he says.

"Please," Lan Wangji says.

Another sigh.

"Fine," he says. "A life for a life. Never let it be said the Wen sect don't honour their debts." 

Lan Wangji stands unsteadily. He looks as if he doesn't want to leave. But Wen Xu barks an order, and one of the men speaks to him softly, and he walks out. The door clicks shut behind him.

Silence. Silence.

Then Wen Xu begins to laugh.

"That Lan honour," he says fondly. 

Wei Wuxian can't move or speak. There's a black hole of hatred swirling in his gut.

"You're going to wish he'd kept his mouth shut, Wei Wuxian," Wen Xu says casually. "But I made a promise. I won't kill you. I'll let the Burial Mounds do that for me." 

He's carried by sword, his hands tied behind him.

He remembers fighting another child so that he'd live. The hunger to survive. The way it's kept him going and going long after a good man would have died.

He looks down at the black below him and thinks: No. I won't die today. 

A hand shoves at his back. He's falling.

Falling.

Falling.

He won't die today.

He won't.

He-

He meets the ground. 

Wei Wuxian, voices whisper. Sibilant, creeping. Skittering through his spilled blood, his aching lungs. His eyes staring up at a sky blacker than night. Wei Wuxian.

Do you want vengeance?

-

Lan Wangji is locked in his chambers and denied all visitors. Because of this, it is two weeks before Wen Qing is allowed to see him again, and check the ebb and flow of his spiritual energy. Two weeks, before he learns he is pregnant after all. 

Two weeks, before he learns he condemned Wei Wuxian to a worse death.

He is distantly aware that his heart breaks. But he does not feel it. It is as if his body has decided to spare him the pain. He only nods when Wen Qing tells him the news. Only says he is tired. 

She hesitates. "If," she says. "If you wish, I can help you. Perhaps this is one suffering too many."

If he were a proper omega, the kind Wen Xu wants him to be, he would be revolted by the suggestion. He would love the life inside him already. He is not. 

His body is not his own. This is only more proof of that.

And also, there is a small, awful, howling hope in him. That maybe this child is not Wen Xu's at all. And if they are not - can he really bring himself to erase what remains of his love, his Wei Ying? 

"It does not matter," he says dully. "I will do my duty."

She hesitates again. But then her shoulders droop, and she nods, and says, "I'll tell Wen Xu I must see you regularly, Lan Wangji."

He nods his acknowledgement. Then he lies in his bed and does not sleep. 

Wen Xu does not do him the kindness of not touching him, though Lan Wangji has a sense that Wen Qing has cautioned Wen Xu to leave Lan Wangji be. Never mind. This, too, does not matter. He is used, and then he rests again. And his body continues to change. 

He begins to dream strange dreams. Black soil under his feet, riddled with bones. And a shadow walking alongside him. But when he tries to touch it, the shadow vanishes like smoke.

He dreams once of his mother. Her flowers. Her back turned. Then she hears him and turns to him. 

"Come here," she says, and he goes to her, letting her gather him up in her arms. He is not a child. He is himself, as he is now: broad and tall, his belly beginning to round.

"How did you love me?" he asks her, eyes closed, breathing her scent in. "When I was not your choice?" 

She kisses his forehead. Her lips are cold.

"I was not your choice either," she says gently.

He wakes. Tonight, Wen Xu is sharing his bed, so he cannot move. He wipes unfamiliar tears from his eyes. Stares out into the dark.

Touches a hand to his abdomen. 

His skin feels unfamiliar. Too soft and taut all at once. The life within it has exhausted him and made him physically ill, has leeched his own strength from him, and is still a stranger.

The life in him could be Wen Xu's child. It could be Wei Ying's. It is definitely his own. 

He has not spoken to it. Has not held the shape of it through his own body tenderly, before. He closes his eyes now, feeling the warmth under his hand.

This life did not choose him, and he did not choose them. Still they are both here. Still, Lan Wangji has a choice. A choice others would say is inevitable, biological, natural: to love this child, or not. To hand this child to be what remains of his heart, or hold his own heart safe. Close.

But Lan Wangji thinks perhaps this is a lie told to and about omegas: that they must love. That they must love their alphas, whether they wanted their alpha or not. That they must love their children, whether they wanted children or not. That to choose freedom would be monstrous, unnatural.

It is a lie told to chain them. 

He does not have to love this child. He is capable of tearing those roots of love free from his heart. It would hurt and splinter him, but he could do it. His mother could have done it.

Instead, he swallows back tears. Caresses the shape of his stomach. Slow, gentle. 

Hello, he thinks, speaking down into his own blood. Little one. I am sorry. I am here now.

Something flutters in response. The faintest ripple. And they are not strangers anymore. 

Lan Wangji slowly changes his behaviour. He forces him to wake with the light, and bathe regularly, and eat properly without being cajoled by Wen Qing. He sits in his garden and feels the air, the sun. He talks to his child. Small things. About Gusu. About the weather. 

He expects he will spend his pregnancy - and the time after it - confined. But his imprisonment is ended abruptly when he is summoned by Wen Ruohan.

He is dressed by panicked servants, in robes that if anything emphasise  his new girth, and goes to meet his father-in-law. 

Wen Ruohan is polite. He asks after Lan Wangji's health, and shares tea with him, and invites him to walk around new, unfamiliar gardens together. He makes small talk, and Lan Wangji does his best to respond. Lan Wangji knows there must be a reason for this. 
Finally, it comes.

"My son should not have punished you in front of his men," he says, voice pleasant. "I have explained this to him. Has he harmed you since?"

Lan Wangji shakes his head.

"Good, good." They continue to walk. "If he does, inform me." 

Lan Wangji does not ask 'why?' but Wen Ruohan must see the question in his eyes.

"One day everyone will forget where you came from," he says. "They will forget your name. But they will know you are Young Master Wen's omega. They will know you are mother to Qishan Wen's heirs.

What message does it send to lesser sects, if we mistreat our own?" He's smile is glittering, unpleasant. He sets a hand against Lan Wangji's back. "Be a good spouse and parent," he says. "Ensure the Wen sect's glory, and my son will come to respect you. I'll ensure it." 

After - Lan Wangji regains more freedom. He and Wen Ning and a guard (or two, or three) may walk a little further, through corridors deemed safe.

And Lan Wangji plays his role perfectly. What else can he do? He does not know, anymore. 

The cultivation conference arrives. And Wen Xu tells him, grudgingly, that as a reward for his behaviour he will be allowed to meet his brother and uncle, who will be in attendance.

He's hit by relief, first. Joy.

Then - nausea.

They will see him like this. 

And they do. On the day they are allowed to visit him, tea is arranged in the garden. There are guards around, watching, but Wen Xu is blessedly not present. Lan Wangji sits, waiting. He rests a hand on his belly, which is enormous now - big enough to make his back ache, and still somehow too small for the squirming life inside it, fractious and ready to be free.

He sees two shadows. Raises his head, and watches his brother and uncle enter the garden.

They look... almost the same. Achingly familiar, in their blues and whites, ribbons in place. More tired, perhaps, than he remembers. And older. But they are alive. Safe.

"Don't move, Wangji," his brother says, alarmed, when Lan Wangji tries to move. "Let us join you."

Wangji.

It has been so long since - since – 

He does not tell them he must not be called Wangji. He clings to the sound of his own name as they sit, looking at him. As they fall into the awkward silence of people who have so much to say, but cannot. Who are being carefully watched.

Tea is poured. 

He imagines how he must look, through their eyes. Thinner, his wrist bones sharp, his face hollowed, but softer at the chest, huge at the belly. His mouth faintly painted. His robe all soft, blushing reds. He must look like a Wen omega. He must look like a stranger. 

"Please," he says, looking between them. Feels the word land discordant. Even his way of speaking his changed, he realises. He never used to plead, to soften. "Tell me how you fare. How Gusu Lan fares."

His brother opens to his mouth to speak. His mouth moves. Then trembles. 

Lan Qiren leans forward and begins to speak. Covering for Lan Xichen's helpless silence. He talks in the dour way he does when he wants to test the patience of young cultivators, discussing rules broken by visiting students; the price fluctuations in local silk; he goes on until the guards begin to look bored and restless and are no longer paying attention. Then he talks about the rabbit 'infestation' in the back hills, and how juniors refuse to stop feeding them; about the new child born to a Lan cousin; about how he has left Lan Wangji's home untouched. About the quqin kept in Lan Qiren's own chambers, tended to so its sound remains true.

Lan Wangji does not weep, but only because he does not want to hurt his family. These words are the greatest kindness he has received since Wei Wuxian's death. 

"Wangji." His brother's voice. Trembling. "I'm so sorry."

Without pause, Lan Qiren stands, and turns towards the guards. He begins to lecture them about some perceived failing in decorum and respect. They look hunted. And distracted. 

Lan Xichen takes advantage of the distraction to clasp Lan Wangji's hands tight in his own.

"If I had not defended Nie Mingjue - if I-"

"Xiongzhang," Lan Wangji says. "It is not your fault. Please do not. We have - little time." 

Lan Xichen breathes in and out. "You look," he gasps. "Like mother did. When she - before you were born. You look..."

Lan Wangji squeezes his brother's hands.

He sees how fiercely his family love him. How they must have feared for him, all this time. How they still fear. He will not have this chance again.

"Do not bend to them for my sake," he says. "Xiongzhang, if there is a chance to turn upon the Wen-"

"I won't risk you again, Wangji-"

"Destroy them." He barely recognises his own voice, small and tight and controlled. "Do not act rashly. But if there is a chance take it. They will not hurt me. No, look at me," he bites out, when Lan Xichen shakes his head. "Look at what I am. They will not harm me. So you must act. I cannot. So you must. I cannot.”

Someone clears their throat. 

Lan Qiren.

They go quiet. Lan Xichen releases his hands. Wipes his eyes.

Then he nods, once. Just once. But Lan Wangji knows he has been heard. 

Nie Mingjue and his brother have been friends since childhood. And the Nie sect are still free. Perhaps there is hope, still, for the cultivation world to survive.

The conference ends. His family leave.

Three weeks later, in the deep of night, Lan Wangji goes into labour. 

It begins in the usual way, with pain. He is given every support a cultivation sect can provide to someone in labour, so it is long and exhausting, but not as awful or dangerous as it could be. It is a relief, perhaps, how animal it is. He doesn't need to think, only do. 

Night passes into day, and back into night. And with it, his child slips into the world, too.

His son is quieter than Lan Wangji expected he would be. He does not howl when he is born. His cries are almost plaintive - betrayed and kittenish, as if he is cold and very hungry. 

He is placed in Lan Wangji's arms. He is small. Wrinkled, red, with a shock of black hair. He did not choose Lan Wangji and Lan Wangji did not choose him. And soon Wen Xu will take him, and crow over him - a son! An alpha! But not yet. Not yet. 

He lowers his head, drawing his child close so that he shielded by his birth parent's arm, hair, touch. His son is still crying.

"Do not cry," Lan Wangji says gravely. "I am still here."

And his son quietens. It is a coincidence, perhaps. But Lan Wangji does not think so. 

And somewhere else. Somewhere else, far away from the celebrations already beginning in Qishan Wen. Far away, in darkness-

A body crawls out of a graveyard. And another. And another. And behind them all, walks a man.

He looks at the sky. The moon. It reflects in his red eyes. 

Lan Wangji begins his confinement. It would be restful, but a-Yuan is a restless baby. When he is not hungry or uncomfortable from soiling himself, he cries for no discernible reason. It takes Lan Wangji a few days to realise that a-Yuan is calmed by the sound of his voice. His son constantly wants to be spoken to. For a newborn, he has a terrible hatred of feeling alone.

There are nurses and maids to help with a-Yuan. But Lan Wangji tries to do as much as he can by himself. It is not love that drives him, exactly. It is also a desire to imprint his own nature, his values, his self on his son.

He has seen what being raised an heir of Qishan Wen can do to a man's heart and soul. He must do everything he can to stop that from happening to his child. 

He makes sure to make the veritable army of nurses and servants assigned to a-Yuan his allies. By the time Lan Wangji's confinement is over, his servants have been solidly bribed into giving Lan Wangji their loyalty, over Wen Xu. 

Wen Xu is often not present. Lan Wangji is still kept away from sect business, but now a-Yuan's wet nurse brings him news, and shares it. Sects are growing more disobedient. And there is a new enemy hounding the Wen sect: ghosts, or demons, or something else. 

"Some say," she says, lowering her voice, "that our sect is cursed for killing so many upstanding cultivators. Our own dead have been fighting us. Can you believe it?"

Lan Wangji thinks of Wei Wuxian. His corpse, rising. Horror fills him, and he forces the thought away. 

He thinks of Wei Wuxian often. Grieves him. But he also looks at a-Yuan and... wonders.

His son is still so small. But every day he grows larger. He is so quick and curious - so desperate to see, touch, taste everything. He gives affection so easily. In this, he is not like Lan Wangji. He is not like Wen Xu. A-Yuan has no temper to speak of, and no pride.

Not yet.

He looks at his son's face, his eyes, and he wonders. Hopes, perhaps. He wants a-Yuan to be Wei Wuxian's son. But he cannot know. He will never know. And he cannot allow himself to love his child any less for his possible parentage. Did a-Yuan choose his father? No. Neither did Lan Wangji, in truth.

He will simply have to love a-Yuan for who he is. And a-Yuan is so easy to love. 

Once, he falls asleep in the day, exhausted. Wakes to the sound of his son's babbling. Delighted. Someone is speaking to him softly.

Lan Wangji opens his eyes. Does not move.

Across the room, he sees Wen Xu holding a-Yuan in his arms. He is speaking to a-Yuan, gently, lovingly, one hand tickling his belly in a way that makes a-Yuan shriek with happiness and kick his pleasantly fat little legs. Wen Xu's smile deepens. It is the kind of smile he has never shown to Lan Wangji.

A-Yuan is easy to love. And he is Wen Xu's pride and joy. 

Wen Xu is not a good man. He will never be a good man. He fucked Lan Wangji for the first time since a-Yuan's birth a month ago. It was humiliating, face-to-face, with Lan Wangji's wrists pinned - a punishment, a reminder to Lan Wangji what he is. He limped for days. 

But Wen Xu loves his son. He is patient with his son. Boasts about a-Yuan wherever he goes. He remarks often that a-Yuan has his ears and his hair - that he is strong like his father, and clever like his father. It is as if Lan Wangji was just the vessel, not a-Yuan's blood, too. 

It should not make Lan Wangji bitter that Wen Yuan will grow up loving Wen Xu. Calling him his father. It should not.

But it does. And it also frightens him. 

-

Here are some things that Lan Wangji does not know:

In Gusu, Lan Xichen received news of the birth of his nephew and almost changed his plans. Almost.

But then he remembered Lan Wangji's face. His fierce words. And he knows he must act. Knows, too, that the Wen sect will not hurt the birth parent of a sect heir. In the eyes of sects of who treat omegas as the Wen do, Lan Wangji is already now as good as a traitor, bound to the Wen clan and sect by bonds of blood.

But Lan Xichen vows to himself that he will bring his brother home. 

Somewhere else, a Jiang sect heir meets a Nie sect heir - and omega. An alliance is formed.

And in a miserable Wen sect camp, some lowly soldiers and cultivators share some gossip. One talks about an attack he witnessed on the edges of Yiling. 

He and the other soldiers were met by a wall of corpses, walking undead, and told by a lazy voice that they could go no further. "The Wen aren't welcome here," the voice said. "Go back, or I'll be forced to kill you. And you won't like what comes after. I promise." 

Then their commander froze. Eyes wide. Said, "Wei Wuxian? Wei Wuxian, is that you? Fucking hell, I thought you were dead! I heard Wen Xu killed you!"

A man stepped through the corpses. He was thin and pale, his hair streaming loose around him, no colour on him but a single long ribbon of red silk, and the blood red of his eyes.

"What did he do?" the other soldiers ask, hushed. "Did he turn your commander into corpse? Cut off his dead?"

The man shakes his head.

"No." He remembers how his commander wept. Said, We were on the same fucking cart, Wei Wuxian. You think I'd side with them over you? 

"He gave my commander sanctuary," says the man. "And the rest of just - ran."

A murmur runs through the listeners. Uneasy. Curious.

The story spreads. There is a man who practices demonic cultivation in Yiling. He was once a Wen sect cultivator. But now he's an enemy. 

He'll kill those who stand against him and make slaves of their corpses. But if you go to him and seek sanctuary, he may give it to you. He may be your way out.

Now and again, Wen sect soldiers vanish. Walk through Yiling to the Burial Mounds, and never come back. 

In the Burial Mounds, Wei Wuxian is building a weapon.

He doesn't think about all the things he did to survive the Burial Mounds. All that matters now is that he's alive. All that matters is revenge.

He has his corpses. But slowly - and despite his constant protests that he doesn't want anyone to vow loyalty to him, ex-Wen cultivators begin to arrive begging sanctuary. He lets them stay. What else is he meant to do? Send them back?

And he works, feverishly. Building, bleeding, planning. He needs something that will make him more powerful. 

The stygian tiger seal isn't perfect yet. Isn't enough to single-handedly devastate the Wen sect. But it will be.

He doesn't ask anyone about Lan Wangji. He can't. Every time he thinks about his throat closes over. When he hears a Wen man talking admiringly about Wen Xu's omega he walks away.

Until he goes back - until he kills them all - he's going to feel like he has failed Lan Wangji. Because he has. He left him there, beholden to Wen Xu. Left him, bleeding, begging for Wei Wuxian's life. 

He dreamt of Lan Wangji, when he was trying to survive the Burial Mounds- when he was all hunger and pain and broken bones. Dreamt of Lan Wangji walking alongside him, shining with light. Reaching out to him.

He woke before they could touch. 

He tries not to think about what the Burial Mounds and demonic cultivation have done to him. But sometimes he sees himself in reflections - the gauntness, the red eyes, the hollowness of him. He doesn't see how Lan Wangji could love him now. 

But if he could set Lan Wangji free. That...

That would be more than enough. More than enough. 

-

A-Yuan is nearly half a year old when Wen Xu breaks Lan Wangji's leg.

There is no warning. There never is, when his mood darkens. Lan Wangji is sitting on the grass with a-Yuan, who is doing his level best to break Lan Wangji's bangle - a recent gift.

A-Yuan is gnawing it thoughtfully as Lan Wangji strokes his hair when Lan Wangji hears the crunch of footsteps. They are not loud. So he is shocked, when he feels a hand in his hair, and is flung to the ground.

To his relief, a-Yuan is still sitting up. Unhurt, his mouth open. He falls back softly against the ground. Naturally. One of the nursemaids is shaking in the corner.

Take him, he tries to say with his eyes, as Wen Xu grabs his hair again. Brave girl, she does, and flees from the garden swiftly. 

Wen Xu is spitting words, and it takes a second for Lan Wangji to understand.

"Your fucking family," he's saying. "Traitors, dogs, every one of you. Did you know? Did you?" 

"I do not understand," Lan Wangji says, gritting his teeth against the pain as he is slapped, hard enough to make his eyes burn. "I-"

"Your Lan sect have turned traitor," Wen Xu says furiously. "What was the point taking you, fucking you, marrying you? What are you worth?" 

Hot, vicious triumph runs through Lan Wangji. His brother has done it after all.

"I knew nothing," he says. "I have not written to my brother in months-"

"You don't think I see how suspicious that is?" Wen Xu gives an ugly laugh. "Lan Zhan. I see through you. I always have." 

The beating goes on for a long time. Slaps to his face. Hands at his throat. Not the violence inflicted on an equal, but punishment intended to humiliate. Lan Wangji is conscious that other servants wait in his chambers. That his child is likely not far. 

Wen Xu pins him to the ground. His breath hot on Lan Wangji's face. For a moment Lan Wangji is convinced he'll be taken right there on the ground. But Wen Xu only says, ugly, "My father won't protect you this time." 

He sits up. Grasps his sword, and uses the cultivation-fuelled weight of it to break the of Lan Wangji's left leg. Lan Wangji hears the splinter of it. Feels nausea well up in him, and his body go hot then horribly cold. He lets out a noise. 

"Shall I break the other one, sweetheart?" he asks. "Or an arm? Both?"

Lan Wangji struggles to speak. "I need..."

"What? What do you need, Lan Zhan? Mercy? To apologise to me for your fucking family?"

"A-Yuan," he whispers. 

It is foolish. He only means: how will I hold him, if you break my arms.

He means, it is not practical. Not worthwhile.

His sense of what is normal has left him, it seems.

But it makes Wen Xu soften. 

"Fine," he says. "You have one use at least, Lan Zhan. I suppose I can think about forgiving you."

He stands. Says, in a stiff voice, "I'll send Wen Qing later." A pause. "Thank me, at least, Lan Zhan."

"Thank you," Lan Wangji says. 

After he is gone, two of the servants - quiet omega men, both of them - help him inside and onto the bed. One of the maids is crying.

"You cannot summon Wen Qing," Lan Wangji manages to say. "He must do it. Or he will see you punished."

"But-"

"No," he says. "Please." 

Wen Qing comes at night, face pinched with fury. She handles him gently. "You're lucky to have cultivation," she says. "You'll heal swiftly, though the break is bad."

He does heal fairly fast. But he cannot go anywhere. Or carry a-Yuan, who frets, sensing his pain. 

In typical fashion, Wen Xu is lavish with his affections in the aftermath, sending gifts and baubles, telling Lan Wangji that surely he cannot blame Wen Xu for being angry. For reacting to such a betrayal.

Wen Xu holds a-Yuan as he says it, who lies trustingly in his arms. 

One day, Lan Wangji realises, his husband is going to harm him again in front of a-Yuan. And what then? What then.

This is not the life he wants for himself. Not the life he wants for his son.

What will it do to a-Yuan, growing up watching his omega parent being harmed? Will he harden his heart and convince himself this is the natural order of things, and commit the same violence when he is a man? Will he flinch at every loud voice all his life, hunted? 

It will scar him. And Lan Wangji...

Well. He no longer has any need to protect his sect. His only duty is to himself and his son.

When he is fully healed, he tells Wen Xu he is sorry for the behaviour of his sect. He is contrite. He expresses the wish to make up for his errors. 

Then he finds the omega servants who carried him to his bed. He asks them for a favour.

They know, even as he asks, that doing so may cost them their lives.

But they say yes. 

A-Yuan is sleeping under the care of his wetnurse. And Lan Wangji has dressed to please his husband. Pale robes, pink, only two gauze-thin layers.

He has braided his hair. A soft, omega style. The ribbon he has used is Wen red, a bright splash of colour against his black hair. 

Wen Xu arrives late. He looks hunted. Tired. "You're a pretty thing," he says, looking Lan Wangji up and down. "Did you dress up for me?"

Lan Wangji thinks is self-evident. So he only lowers his eyes and nods.

"Count yourself lucky, Lan Zhan. You get to sit here in your pretty robes as real men fight out there," he says, gesturing at the door. "There's something ugly at our gates."

Not the Lan sect. Not the Nie or Jiang. If they were there, he would be punishing Lan Wangji now.

"But we'll deal with it," he says, throwing off his boots with a groan. "Come here, Lan Zhan."

Lan Wangji goes to him. Wen Xu drags him to the bed, shoving up his robes. "Does it still hurt?" he asks, circling Lan Wangji's left thigh.

Lan Wangji allows himself to swallow visibly. He shakes his head. "If..." He pauses. As if unsure. 

Wen Xu's eyes sharpen. He likes shame. "Tell me," he urges.

"I could... show you," he says, allowing his own embarrassment to burn on his face. "If." He touches a hand to Wen Xu's chest. As if urging him back on the bed.

"Ride me, you mean?" He laughs. "I didn't know you even knew that could be done. Have you been taking tips from my brother's whore?"

Lan Wangji shakes his head, visibly affronted. "I wanted to - apologise." His voice grows stiffer. "Forget this. Please."

Now, pleased at Lan Wangji's discomfort, Wen Xu grasps his thigh tighter.

"No, it would be a good apology, Lan Zhan. It might nice for you to make an effort for once instead of just lying there." There's a thoughtful look on him. As if he's thinking of all the other ways Lan Wangji can participate. It makes Lan Wangji's skin crawl. 

Wen Xu lies flat on the bed. Says, "Take off your clothes first, Lan Zhan. Slowly. I want a proper apology for your family. This is a good start."

Lan Wangji kneels back and removes his robes slowly, as ordered. He lets Wen Xu stare at him for a moment, then crawls up the bed. Wen Xu has his cock out. "Go on," he says. "Make yourself useful, wife."

Lan Wangji straddles him.

The last time he fucked someone like this, it was Wei Wuxian. That thought almost undoes him.

But he grits his teeth. He grasps Wen Xu's cock. 

Places it at his entrance, and lowers himself. Wen Xu clutches his hips with a groan.

Lan Wangji rises and falls. Rises and falls. Lowers himself so he is close to Wen Xu, bodies touching. His newly healed leg aches. "Like that," Wen Xu pants.

He's getting close. 

"Husband," Lan Wangji gasps against his ear. Reluctant. "Don't - knot me. My leg hurts."

Wen Xu groans. "This is an apology, Lan Zhan," he says, clutching his hips tight. "You don't get to decide."

No, Lan Wangji thinks dispassionately. I never do. 

As he expected - as he counted on - Wen Xu clutches him tighter and drags him close. Knots him. The swell of it hurts. Lan Wangji lets out a pained noise and Wen Xu laughs, going relaxed, boneless as he always does. Hands falling to his sides.

He does not react when Lan Wangji grasps his hands in his own and raises them up the bed. He only reacts, eyes snapping wide, when he feels the ribbon that had been in Lan Wangji's hair bind around his wrists. Tight.

"You cannot break it," Lan Wangji says calmly. Gusu silk, used for Lan forehead ribbons and other items of great importance, is imbued with magical strength, and is hard to break.

It would not be enough to contain a cultivator like Wen Xu. Not usually. But he also has the weight of Lan Wangji pinning him in place. 

He is literally inside Lan Wangji - the most fragile part of him held fast.

He thought he was conquering Lan Wangji. He was not.

Lan Wangji may be thinner, weaker, but he was once the second young master of Gusu Lan. A peerless cultivator. Power still blazes in him. 

Lan Wangji performs his sect's silencing spell and watches Wen Xu's mouth seal shut.

"You should not be surprised," Lan Wangji says, voice devoid of emotion. "You claim to know what I am capable of." He leans over Wen Xu, to the edge of the bed. Draws free the knife concealed there. Taken from the kitchen, is a knife for butchery, and finely sharpened. He thinks one of the omega servants must have done it, bringing the edge to a fine point, eyes resolute, before smuggling it to Lan Wangji for this purpose.

Wen Xu's face goes tight. He tries to struggle. Lan Wangji presses his bodyweight down upon him.

He considers saying something cruel or pithy. But he is conscious he only has so long before Wen Xu manages to overpower or escape him, or someone will notice something is amiss.

He raises the knife.

Wen Xu lets out a bloody, ragged noise as he forces the silencing spell to break. Spits blood, and screams hoarsely, "My son will avenge me, you bitch! Lan Zhan, he will never forgive you for this!" 

A black, starless feeling rushes through Lan Wangji. He meets Wen Xu's eyes.

"He is not your son," Lan Wangji says evenly. "And he will not mourn you. This is my last vow to you, Wen Xu, as your omega: to a-Yuan, you will be nothing."

He brings the cleaver down. 

-

The Burial Mounds aren't meant to be a living man's home. It's lucky that Wei Wuxian has turned himself into something, well - other. He still gets hungry. Still craves all the things a normal person craves. But he is nourished by its darkness, too. 

It's definitely not a fit home for his new followers.

"I don't even want followers," he tells the first Wen commander who joined him. The man responds by saying that, well, he's got them now whether he likes it or not. And does Wei Wuxian have any suggestions of where to set up the new camp and start felling trees and digging up bones to create more farmland? And is there a well? Over there? Well, that's no good. Someone's going to need to dig another well. He'll get the new boys onto it. There's no need for Wei Wuxian to worry about it.

The best way to manage the new chaos - all the barely grown Wen recruits huddled outside his cave, and the ex-commanders barking orders, and the weary alphas and betas sharing wine - is to be himself.

Once, 'being himself' would have meant being cheerful. Obnoxious, maybe. 

But now, when he walks by, men go quiet. His shadow moves strangely behind him, more liquid than lightless. He's frightening. He could try not to be.

He doesn't.

It doesn't stop people coming. Maybe it's his reputation that makes them come - makes them believe he'll keep them safe. But it does make them maintain their distance, barring the few who knew him Before, and don't have the sense to keep away.

He sits in his cave surrounded by talismans written in his own blood. He sits, and builds his weapon, which fights him every step of the way. 

It is a desperately evil thing, his stygian tiger seal. He could make finish it now - pour his whole self into it - but then it would control him. And he can't allow that. It has to be a tool he can wield without it destroying what's left of him. 

If he forgets himself, he won't be able to help anyone he's vowed to help.

But it purrs and slinks through his skull. Hungry. Don't you want vengeance, Wei Wuxian? We'll give you everything you desire, Wei Wuxian.

Everything.

He is soul-deep into the business of wrestling that power into obedience when someone enters his cave. They flinch back from the darkness around him, but they don't go.

"Y-yiling Patriarch," they say. It's one of the newer beta boys. Barely thirteen. "Y-you. You're needed." 

When did they all begin to call him that? It doesn't matter.

"I'm busy," he says quietly, and feels the dark hiss his words around him. Winding. The boy takes another step back.

"Th-there's. An omega. Not a soldier." He sounds panicked. "No one knows what to do." 

Lan Wangji, he thinks immediately. Hope clutching at his chest.

The dark quenches. That fast. And he walks toward the boy.

"Show me," he says.

The boy leads the way. At the edge of the camp, soldiers and cultivators are standing around awkwardly. They look like boys who've never seen an omega before and don't know what to do now they're in the presence of one. (It occurs to him that many of them were raised like he was. Maybe they've only ever known other alphas, and war. Maybe this is strange to them.)

The omega isn't Lan Wangji. 

Wei Wuxian freezes. Heart in his throat.

"Wen Ning?" he says. "What are you doing here?"

"Wei Wuxian," he says. Swallows. "Y-Yiling Patriarch. I've come to claim sanctuary. For me, and for - for my family."

Wei Wuxian looks around. There's no sign of Wen Qing. No Dafan Wen. 

"They're not here," Wen Ning says quickly. He's pale, swaying on his feet. He's dressed in the style of an omega - nothing but the lightest slippers on his feet, stained with dirt. His feet must hurt. "A-Jie says we can't run. But I know we can't stay, either." 

One of the men coughs and shuffles. "Should we... get him anything?" he asks weakly. "Do omegas need... things?"

"Oh for - yes you should get him something to eat and drink and I'll. I'll." Wei Wuxian stops, helpless. "Come with me, Wen Ning. Let's get you inside." 

He takes Wen Ning to his cave, which may be a bad decision. Wen Ning looks between the blood pool and the shadows creeping along the walls, and blurts out, "When jie heard it was you she worried it - it wasn't you."

"She thought... something was. Wearing my skin?" 

Wen Ning nods. "But I - I can see it's you. I..." He's crying. He sits down.

Wei Wuxian swallows. Wen Qing was right to be cautious. Sometimes he's not sure he's himself, either. And no one has ever survived the Burial Mounds.

He puts a hand on Wen Ning's shoulder. 

"It's okay," he lies gently. "I'm okay. Tell me why you need sanctuary." Tell me why you were willing to risk coming to a demon wearing my body, he thinks. "Tell me what's happening in Nightless City."

Wen Ning starts talking. 

Smaller sects are beginning to turn against the Wen sect. And - he gives Wei Wuxian an uneasy, hopeful look - walking corpses are hounding the edges of Nightless City. All of this means intense pressure is being placed on the sect, on supplies, on the flow of money. 

Wen Ruohan is growing angrier. As are his sons. He has started demanding that the Dafan Wen - always healers and farmers, not cultivators or fighters - join in the war. Wen Qing has refused. And Wen Ning, already shunned for being 'fooled' by Wei Wuxian into assisting in traitorous spying, has been told he will be married off as soon as possible to a suitably loyal sect, to bind them closer.

"Wen Chao and Wen Xu are growing worse, too," Wen Ning frets. "Wen Chao - he can't touch the touch sect, and they killed Wen Zhuliu only weeks ago. And Wen Xu..." Wen Ning shakes his head. "I am afraid he'll kill Lan Zhan one day," Wen Ning confesses. "I know jie worries. Whenever she's summoned she thinks it might be to collect his corpse, this time." 

The air gets colder.

"This time," Wei Wuxian repeats.

Wen Ning nods. "When the Lan sect turned, Wen Xu broke his leg," he says.

If Wen Ning says anything after that, Wei Wuxian doesn't hear it. Cold fury rushes through him like a wave. 

He thinks of Lan Wangji, always so tall and firm, reaching for a sword that isn't there. Lan Wangji begging for Wei Wuxian's life. Lan Wangji handing him a book of poetry. Lan Wangji-

Wei Wuxian's cowardice has failed him.

Do you want vengeance, Wei Wuxian?

He walks away from Wen Ning. There, on his table. A thing not yet finished. A thing that might control him. He grasps it in his hand and turns, like smoke, like shadow. Leaves the cave, ignoring Wen Ning's cry behind him.

His followers stumble back as he passes. 

His other followers - the ones he raised himself from death - wait for him at the edge of the Burial Mounds. He draws his dizi. Twirls it between his fingers.

"We're going to Nightless City," he says.

He raises the dizi to his lips, and the stygian tiger seal screams. 

-

In Nightless City, Lan Wangji bathes and dresses in a fresh robe. He covers the remains on the bed with a clean sheet.

He calls out a name - and after a moment, the wetnurse comes in carrying a-Yuan.

"He's sleeping," she whispers.

Lan Wangji takes his son into his arms. 

"The guards?" he asks.

"Drank the tea," she says in return. That was the second thing the omega servants had procured for him - a powerful sleeping aid, often used by cultivators disturbed by nightmares. Strong enough to knock them unconscious. 

They leave his chambers and walk down quiet corridors. Along the way, they're joined by his other servants.

Lan Wangji carries a-Yuan in one arm. In the other hand, he carries the knife.

They make it to Wen Qing's rooms without being caught. Enter silently. 

She draws her sword when they enter, but when she sees only servants and Lan Wangji - and a baby - she lowers it. Her face is pinched. "What are you doing here?" she asks.

"We need your help," Lan Wangji says. "To leave Nightless City."

"I can't help you. It's too dangerous." 

"If we remain I will die," Lan Wangji replies. "Wen Xu is dead."

"Wen Xu is..." She stops. Then she bites her cheek. Closes her eyes. "I see."

Lan Wangji waits.

"My brother has run away, Lan Wangji," she says. "So I cannot help you. I have to save him first." 

"If he has run, you will have to go and collect him," Lan Wangji says reasonably. "Simply take us on the journey then leave us. We will find our own way from there."

"You expect me to smuggle all of you out of Nightless City?"

"I am asking." 

"If I take you, everyone will know I've aided you. I won't be able to return. And my family..." she falters.

"Bring them also."

"It's impossible! Lan Wangji" She strides toward him. "You shouldn't have done it. You've killed us all. I won't help us to die faster." 

Lan Wangji nods in acknowledgement. He had known Wen Qing was likely to refuse. Still, he had asked.

"Then I must ask you for a simpler favour," he says.

"What?"

"Clothes," he says. "And swords." 

Omegas are conspicuous in Nightless City. But there are always cultivators walking through it, at all hours. A handful more will not be noticeable.

They dress.

There is still blood on his knife. Applied carefully to the collars of robes, it assists in masking omega scent. 

"And your son?" Wen Qing asks. "How will you conceal him?"

"With luck," Lan Wangji says dryly. A-Yuan is strapped to his front. Concealed, largely, unless he wakes and cries or moves, as babies often do. It can't be helped. 

Dressed like a Wen cultivator with a sword in hand, he feels more like himself than he has in many months. "Thank you," he says to Wen Qing. "I owe you a debt."

Her face is shadowed. She lowers her eyes. "When Wen Xu's death is discovered, and my brother's absence... Lan Wangji, if you survive, seek him out. Protect him. He won't be able to return home."

"Where must I go?"

"I never wanted you to know this," she says. "I thought it would only bring you pain." 

She looks away from him. "There is something that looks like a man that lives in the Burial Mounds," she says. "It raises the dead. It seeks to destroy my sect. There are cultivators that say... if you vow loyalty to it, it will give you sanctuary from Wen Ruohan. Wen Ning heard from someone that it..." She hesitates. Steels herself. "It wears Wei Wuxian's face," she says finally. "But no one survives the Burial Mounds. I told my brother, Lan Wangji. The Yiling Patriarch is not Wei Wuxian. Please, don't allow yourself to hope." 

Too late. Far too late.

Lan Wangji is frozen. Helpless, as Wen Qing says, "Just find my brother. Protect him. That's all I ask."

Wei Wuxian. Wei Ying. His Wei Ying. 

"I will," he says. He will go to the Burial Mounds. And if the Yiling Patriarch is not Wei Wuxian - if it is a monster with his beloved's face, he will, he will -

What? Set his beloved free? Or love the monster? His heart is in wild splinters. His son is breathing against it. 

Deep, sleep-soft breaths. He says, "We must go."

"Goodbye, Lan Wangji," Wen Qing says.

He and the servants go. Their expressions are resolute. When he asked them if they were willing, they expressed a hope that life beyond the walls of Nightless City would be better. Freer. 

No omegas are treated well here.

They are not cultivators. Not trained to fight.

But Lan Wangji is.

They stride through the corridors, in the way Wen cultivators do. No one looks at them. Two stand in front of Lan Wangji, blocking the sight of a-Yuan against his chest. 

They walk and walk, and Lan Wangji begins to believe they may escape without a battle. Just a handful of cultivators heading off on patrol - they will be able to slip out of the city unimpeded.

Then a cry goes up. They are outside, on a walkway. Someone is pointing up. 

Lan Wangji raises his head. The omega man next to him lets out a frightened noise.

The sky has changed colour. Roiling, deep green. Against the green birds are flying wildly. Announcing something, or running from it.

The wind has sharpened. It whips at them. Lan Wangji covers a-Yuan's partially exposed face with his hand.

Whatever this is, cultivators will be summoned to face it. They will not be able to move ignored any longer. As soon as the shock wears off, and the Wen sect begin to move...

"We need to move faster," he says grimly. 

They do so. Lan Wangji strides ahead of them, trying to move with obvious purpose. "With me," he barks - not as he would at his own Lan juniors, but the way he has seen Wen sect seniors do. If they appear as if they have a task ahead, perhaps they will make it. Perhaps- 

"Stop," a cultivator says. "Who are you?" he demands, looking at Lan Wangji, then the servants behind him. "I don't recognise you."

"Move aside," Lan Wangji says. Confident. "Can you not see we're needed?"

The cultivator looks closer. Eyes widening. "You-" 

A flash of silver. Lan Wangji slits his throat.

A cold settles in the air. The sky grows darker, bleeding from green to red.

On the ground, the man's body shudder. His half-cut head begins to turn. Someone cries out behind Lan Wangji, terrified. 
"Do not run away," Lan Wangji orders. "Remain calm."

This time, he makes sure to sever the spine.

"Remain close to me," he tells them. They huddle near and he allows himself to briefly wish he had his own spiritual weapons. His guqin would have been ideal. 

Nightless City is overrun with walking corpses. Every time they take a life a new corpse rises. There are people screaming. Cultivators running, too frightened to fight.

One blessing: no one has the energy, any longer, to notice Lan Wangji or the other omegas. 

Less ideal is the fact there is no way for them to escape. The corpses are hemming them in.

The only way is through.

The next fierce corpse approaches. Lan Wangji strikes it down and moves forward unceasing; one hand over a-Yuan's face, the other striking whatever dares to bar his way. Corpse after corpse falls. One omega yells, and he sees a corpse has its jaw clenched on his arm. Lan Wangji sends his sword flying through the thing's chest - then wrenches it free, and says to the omega, more gently, "Staunch the blood. Keep moving." 

Corpse after corpse, and the air wild and strange. He thinks of Wen Qing's tale, and Wen Ning's flight, and of the Yiling Patriarch who crawled from the Burial Mounds, who hates the Wen sect. Who may offer sanctuary. Who may be-

"Wei Ying," he says aloud.

One corpse turns. 

Eyes on him. As if it recognises the name.

"Wei Ying," he says again. Then more loudly, "Wei Ying!"

"Don't attract their attention," someone whimpers. But he shouts again, and the fierce corpses turn their eyes on him. And they part like a sea, allowing Lan Wangji passage. 

He feels a-Yuan stir against his chest. He's whimpering. He must be frightened. But there is nothing Lan Wangji can do but run a hand gently over him. And walk forward. And keep walking.

The others follow. The corpses do not touch them. 

It is like the calm centre of a storm, here. Beyond this place, Wen cultivators are fighting. Perhaps Wen Ruohan himself has deigned to emerge and battle. Lan Wangji does not know.

All he can see is what lies ahead of him: one man wreathed in shadows. 

One man standing with a dizi to his lips, playing a music wild and eerie. One man, with a dark object moving in the air before him, wreathed in resentful energy. He is gaunt and pale and he is-

"Wei Ying," Lan Wangji says. His voice breaks upon that name. 

Wei Wuxian's eyes fix on him. They are red, bloody, shining from within. There is no sign of the laughing man that Lan Wangji fell in love with him. But it is still him. In his heart, Lan Wangji knows it.

So I will love the monster, he thinks. That is my answer. 

The music of the dizi dies away. In its place, Lan Wangji can suddenly hear sibilant whispers. Vengeance, will you have vengeance? We demand blood, Wei Wuxian. We demand, you owe us, hunger for-

"Lan Wangji?" Wei Wuxian's voice wavers. "Is it really you?" 

Lan Wangji swallows back tears. "Yes," he says. "And you, Wei Ying? Are you also yourself?"

"Oh." Wei Wuxian laughs shakily. "I'm a little different."

The wind sharpens. The whispers grow louder. The omegas behind Lan Wangji huddle closer together, trying to look unafraid. 

"Does it hurt you to do this?" Lan Wangji asks. "Are you in pain?"

"Oh, after the first month in the Burial Mounds everything stopped hurting." Wei Wuxian's grin is crooked. It makes Lan Wangji's heart ache. "But I keep going. I had to come back for you." 

His eyes flicker, red to silver to red. He closes them. His fierce corpses mimic him, like shadows. "I made a weapon," he whispers, and the ghosts that fill the air grow louder still, demanding blood. "A weapon to destroy the Wen sect. I should have waited. Should have mastered it. I knew it was too hungry. But then Wen Ning - I was told..." His eyes open once more, one red, one grey. "Your leg, Lan Wangji," he says. "I couldn't let him kill you. So I gave myself to the stygian tiger seal, and here I am."

The object floating before Wei Ying. 

That is the stygian tiger seal. That is the source of the voices.

Wei Wuxian's hands are trembling. Its power is eating him from within.

"Let it go," Lan Wangji entreats.

"No," Wei Wuxian says, voice darkening as the voices mingle with it. "Not until they're dead." 

Not until vengeance. Not until blood. Not until then. So the voices say.

The fierce corpses shudder around them. As if fighting the leash of Wei Wuxian's power.

"Wen Xu is dead," Lan Wangji says. "I killed him. Wei Ying, I am free by my own hand." He takes a step closer. "The sects stand against the Wen sect. They will see justice done."

"I don't want justice," Wei Wuxian says, voice rich with echoes. "When has justice ever helped us?"

"Wen Qing is within Nightless City," Lan Wangji says. He is speaking to Wei Wuxian, he realises, through a powerful sea of resentful energy and darkness. And through their own shared pain too. Through what was done to both of them. "There are good people here. They deserve a chance."

"Didn't I?" Wei Wuxian asks. "Didn't you?" 

Another step. The resentful energy is oppressive. He reaches out, and takes Wei Wuxian's hand.

"My son is in Nightless City," Lan Wangji says softly. He takes Wei Wuxian's fingers and touches them to a-Yuan's fine hair. A-Yuan is still crying, frightened, clinging. But he turns to that touch, and Wei Wuxian falters, seeing those eyes, that shock of hair.

He did not know, then, that Lan Wangji had borne a child.

"Your son is in Nightless City," Lan Wangji says. 

Wei Wuxian looks at a-Yuan. Then he meets Lan Wangji's eyes. "Is he?" he asks. And it is not an accusation - it is bewildered and desperate, the sound of a man being offered his wildest dreams, a man whose heart could shatter with the slightest touch, the smallest hurt. 

"If you love him with the steadfastness you have loved me," Lan Wangji says softly. "If you raise him tenderly, if you take the chance I am offering you, standing before you now, to love us both - how could he not be your son?" 

The ghostly voices are screaming, a high wailing like a thing furious at going unheard, ignored. And Wei Wuxian is... crying, silently. He cups a-Yuan's cheek. "I dreamt once, of this. I never thought..." he exhales. "Lan Wangji," he says. "What do I have to do?" 

"Let your weapon go," Lan Wangji says. "Lay these souls to rest. Give us sanctuary. And then we will find a way forward together." He places his hand against Wei Wuxian's jaw. "Wei Ying," he says. "Neither of us need to fight alone any longer." 

Wei Wuxian nods.

Takes a step back. He holds out a hand. The tiger seal moves to meet it. He looks at it and the air shivers darkly.

"It's lucky," he says, "that you're still imperfect, isn't it?" He clutches the tiger seal tight in his hands. The air trembles and the voices scream and scream and scream and -

Fall silent.

The tiger seal, a useless husk, drops into the dirt.

Around them, the corpses fall like a wave. 

Lan Wangji does not watch. He does not even look at the servants behind him, who swear shakily with relief. He looks only at Wei Wuxian, and says, simply, "Wei Ying. Take us home."

-

The Wen sect are not destroyed in a single battle.

But then, neither is Wei Wuxian. And Lan Wangji is thankful for that.

He and the other omegas go to the Burial Mounds. In the weeks that follow, it continues to grow into less of a graveyard and more of a working sect. 

In the first weeks, he and Wei Wuxian simply sleep next to each other - restless sleep woken by nightmares and a-Yuan's cries. A-Yuan is anxious, traumatised and so are Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian. But one day, Lan Wangji wakes up and washes in a little cold water. He dresses. After a moment's hesitation, he binds his robes in the alpha style. His hair, similarly. He straightens his shoulders and adjusts his stance and feels... whole, again. From the bed, Wei Wuxian says sleepily, "You look handsome."

"As do you," Lan Wangji says. 

Wei Wuxian snorts, "You liar," he says affectionately. But then: "Don't the Lan clan wear forehead ribbons?"

"Mn." Lan Wangji nods. But his is long gone. He was not allowed to wear it as Wen Xu's omega.

Wei Wuxian scrambles from the bed. "Here," he says. 

He drags the ribbon free from his own hair. Deep red.

"I gave this to you," Lan Wangji whispers.

"The only thing to survive the Burial Mounds apart from me, " Wei Wuxian agrees. "Can I?"

Lan Wangji leans forward, letting Wei Wuxian bind it around his forehead. 

Then he kisses Wei Wuxian. Sweet, almost chaste. "Thank you," Lan Wangji says.

They stare at each other. Unmoving.

"Tell me," Lan Wangji says after a moment. "Is a-Yuan still asleep?"

Wei Wuxian looks at the bed. "Yes...?"

He drags Wei Wuxian by the collar. 

They are not, thankfully, sleeping in the cave where Wei Wuxian built the stygian tiger seal, but in the home hastily put in place for them: a newly built house with a sparse attempt at a garden behind it. It isn't overlooked.

Lan Wangji takes Wei Wuxian outside and presses him to the wall and kisses and kisses him, until they're both breathless and Wei Wuxian is laughing. "You'll bruise my mouth," he says, "and then what will people think? They'll say Lan Wangji bullies me, won't they?" 

"They will be correct," says Lan Wangji. And kisses him once more on the mouth, before biting his throat. Wei Wuxian makes a high-pitched noise, then muffles it with his hand. Lan Wangji kisses his way down Wei Wuxian's throat; parts his robes to kiss his chest. 

He fucks Wei Wuxian right there against the wall. Pins Wei Wuxian's hips in place, and rides his cock as Wei Wuxian pants and stares at him wide-eyed and says, voice slurring, "You're going to break me, gege."

"I will certainly try," Lan Wangji vows, and kisses him again. 

There will be times that Lan Wangji freezes, during the most mundane activities, waves of horror enveloping him. There will be times he will not want to be touched. But those times do not change the sweetness of all the other times - of loving Wei Wuxian, of scrounging the gold of him from the dark pit of his unwanted marriage.

More golden things follow.

Lan Wangji begins to train the youngest soldiers and cultivators and omegas. He teaches them to fight and to defend the Burial Mounds, so that the entire defence of their sect does not rely on Wei Wuxian's demonic cultivation. He gains respect. He relearns the weight of a sword. He learns to admire his own strength, forged in the same kind of fires that shaped his mother's fierce heart. 

One day, cultivation sects arrive to request an alliance with the Yiling Patriarch. Among them is Lan Xichen.

The brothers reunite and it is painful and hard but all love, all relief.

When Lan Wangji insists he will stay with the Yiling Wei sect - as they are now called - Lan Qiren personally carries Bichen and Lan Wangji's guqin to him.

The first time Lan Wangji plays music again he weeps. They are good tears. Freeing.

When the sects finally bring down Wen Ruohan - and it is bloody, awful work, as war always is - Yiling Wei insist on taking in the Dafan Wen. Wen Qing and Wen Ning are reunited.

One day Lan Wangji wakes up from a good dream. He dreamt of a farm and a golden sun, and his Wei Ying under the light, holding a-Yuan and laughing.

He goes into their garden, which has a lotus pond now. 

Wei Wuxian is holding A-Yuan up in the air, twirling him, the both of them laughing just like Lan Wangji dreamed. "Lan Wangji!" Wei Wuxian cries. "Look at your son! Don't you think he has your smile?"

Lan Wangji smiles at a-Yuan, who beams at him with a smile that is all Wei Wuxian's. By blood or rearing, what does it matter? The joy is the same. The sweetness.

And just like that, Lan Wangji feels his heart open to the light in that dream. He thinks, for the first time, that he may be able to marry his Wei Ying one day, after all. He may be able to consider whether he would ever want more children, and not simply recoil from the thought in tight, wordless fear. He may be able to be an omega on his own terms, and not those defined by anyone else.

But for now, he will settle on something simpler. He will take back one more thing stolen from him. 

He walks over to his Wei Ying and his son. He thinks of his mother. Her tender voice. My a-Zhan, she said. All I want is for you to be happy.

His name, tarnished by cruel mouths. But it can be his again.

"Wei Ying," he says. "You may call me Lan Zhan." 

Wei Wuxian looks at him, eyes thoughtful.

"Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian says. "My perfect, handsome Lan Zhan." He kisses Lan Wangji's nose. "Help me dunk our son in the pond, hm?"

"Mn," Lan Wangji says, as a-Yuan laughs. And feels some of the tarnish fade, letting the light out.