Work Text:
Title: Madder Than All the Hatters
Category: My Hero Academia
Pairing: Yamada Hizashi/Aizawa Shouta Aizawa Shouta & Nedzu Aizawa Shouta & Shirkamuro Oboro Aizawa Shouta & Midoriya Izuku
Rating: T
Summary: Aizawa doesn’t know what’s going on, but what he does know is that he is in a nightmare. A nightmare because NOTHING is following logic or reason and he really just wants to wake up.
Disclaimer: I do not owe any rights to the My Hero Academia franchise nor Alice in Wonderland
Author’s Note: This is a birthday gift for a friend of mine. This does open up more possibilities for the Quirked vs Quirkless series but I hope that they enjoy this story. Happy Late Birthday :D
~~Story Begins~~
Around 200 years ago, the existence of quirks was first documented and as more quirks became known, the views of society had changed. Pre-quirk stories and movies were destroyed as those with quirks felt like they were more superior, life hacks, homemade remedies, and old wives tales were no longer shared amongst peers because those with quirks felt like they were above those silly things.
So, what happened was that they changed how stories were told, every character had a quirk that helped them through the story and the iconic designs were also changed.
When Aizawa Shouta, Pro-Hero Eraser Head, suddenly landed on his feet wearing black mary jane shoes (he has spent too much time with Nemuri to know these type of shoes), white tights that lead to a poofy blue dress that he absolutely hated because there felt like five pounds of excessive weight underneath the dress by his hips that stopped at his knees (why was he wearing a dress in the first place? When did he even get changed into this dress?), the short sleeves were somewhat poofy but tolerable, and when he looked down at his reflection in the pond, he noticed that there was a black headband in his hair.
“What the heckium is going on?” Aizawa said. “I did not want to say heckium, I wanted to say hickory, hectic, hickens, HELIUM!”
Aizawa groaned and wanted to slam his head against a wall because apparently, he’s not allowed to gosh dang it cuss in his dream…
...or his dream thoughts.
The next thing that Aizawa knew was that he was falling...falling...falling...falling...whoever had this endless falling quirk is going to get punched real hard in the face and a good knee below the belt even though it isn’t very ladylike.
“Why would I care about it being laadddyyy-” Aizawa stopped his sentence as he noticed that tea was being poured beside him by a familiar face that now belonged to a prisoner of Taratrus known as Kurogiri. “Oboro?”
The blue and white wispy cloud hair had a light green top hat on top of it, on the hat was an index card that read ¾ over it, he was wearing a yellow jacket that seemed more on par with something Hizashi would wear than Oboro. He was holding a teapot like he was pouring it (Oboro never liked tea!) but the tea was going upwards into a chipped teacup that Oboro was holding upside down and above his head.
“Happy unbirthday to you, Shouta,” Oboro said.
“...today’s not my birthday,” Aizawa said slowly, watching the tea carefully.
“Of course it isn’t, silly,” Oboro said with a little laugh that somehow sounded crazy. “Which is why I said happy UNbirthday.”
“Right,” Aizawa said, drawing the word out.
“Well, I would sing the happy unbirthday song to you, but you are almost running late to the train.”
“Train?” Aizawa said before the horn of a train could be heard and he landed on his bum on a cushioned train seat. “Oomph!”
“Yes! The train, Aizawa! This blasted, loud, madness driven train that goes all over Wonderland! Do keep up,” the voice of his boss said as the furry white creature walked into the train car.
“I’m sorry, but Wonderland?” Aizawa said as he watched Nedzu twirl his cane around, but how was Nedzu walking? The checkered top hat he was wearing was more than five times the size of U.A. principal’s body.
“Yes, Aizawa! Wonderland! It used to be a magical place until the Red Queen took over and demanded that this stupid, loud train be built because it hurt her feet walking everywhere! Honestly, I loved the idea at first because it allowed me to work on my inventions without worrying about being watched. Then she had ordered me to be the conductor of the train,” Nedzu said.
“Uh-huh,” Aizawa said with a nod. “Why am I in Wonderland and doesn’t Alice wear a red dress with pink leggings?”
“You are asking ALL the wrong questions, but it’s no matter. Your stop is here!” Nedzu said laughing like he was taking over the world.
Aizawa’s eyes widened as Nedzu shoved his cane into a slot by his seat and pulled the level up. Aizawa got ejected from his train seat. He felt himself get hungry and he ate a tiny bit of cake (where in the fudge did he get cake? Why did he suddenly decide that eating it was a freaking good idea?) and started to feel himself get smaller. (Is this what goes on in Kaminari and Ashido’s heads? Did he somehow fry his brain? Ingest some of Ashido’s acid?)
The five pounds of unneeded dress material didn’t cushion his fall as he landed inside a teapot (...he’s not going to question it. He’s not going to question it. He’s not going to question it. Why a teapot?) He looked up at the lid of the teapot to see his beloved husband (is NOTHING safe inside this dream?) staring down at him from his green tinted glasses. His blonde hair was up like how he wears it when he’s in his hero costume with an old, faded brown top hat with a pink ribbon tied around it.
“Oh! Has THE Shouta finally made his appearance?” Yamada said with such glee. Fingers wrapped in bandages and in fingerless brown gloves that tapped against each other in glee. “Oh happy -”
“Unbirthday, right?” Aizawa said.
“What? An Unbirthday? What’s an unbirthday? Do you celebrate everyday where it ISN’T your birthday? Now, that’s just silly, ridiculous even! Why some might even say that the idea of unbirthdays is just as mad as a hatter!” Yamada said with laughter at the end. “I was going to say Happy Frabjous Day! Why if we weren’t short on time, I would do the Futterwack with you!”
“I’m sorry, the futter-”
“Shush! Shush now! You must get going! You are already running late for tea!” Yamada said as he put the teapot lid back on.
“What the bubble gum, Hizashi!” Aizawa yelled. “I don’t like tea! You’re my husband! You know this!”
Aizawa felt the bottom of the teapot disappear from underneath and he was falling again. Thankfully, he didn’t fall as long as the first time, but he landed in a lake. The dress weighed an extra fifteen pounds with all the wet fabric and Aizawa was struggling to swim (he could barely move his legs!) when a splash came from behind him.
An arm wrapped around his midsection and he was able to break the water surface. He gasped for air and allowed his savior to drag him to the shore.
“Thank you for saving me, although I don’t see why anyone would save me. This is a blasting dream that I need to wake up from soon,” Aizawa grumbled.
“I didn’t realize I needed a reason to help a very pretty girl,” a voice that was so familiar said, “in a very wet dress.”
Aizawa looked up at his savior who had a light tan hat on his head that somehow remained dry while his green curls were sticking to his face as he moved to take off his tan jacket.
“Problem Child, what are you doing here?” Aizawa said.
“I believe I should be asking you that question, Sensei,” Midoriya said. “After all, I’m one of the few guardians left in Wonderland. You, on the other hand, are an outsider, a precious little oyster.”
“Oyster? What?”
“Asking the wrong questions again, Sensei,” Midoriya said. “I thought you were more logical than that.”
“What the-”
“Time’s a tickin, Sensei,” Midoriya said. “And I have a thing about bullets so you need to wake up.”
“Bullets!”
“Wake up Aizawa-sensei,” Midoriya said.
Aizawa glared. “Not until you tell me why someone is shooting at you.”
Midoriya chuckled. “You’re finally starting to ask the right questions. Very well, Oyster, I have time to answer this question. You see, when the Queen of Heart’s seized power, she knew that her biggest threat was wisdom. We have something known as the Great Library which we use the code name White Castle for. There is so much pre-quirk history there that Kayama-Sensei would be astonished with all the art, law, literature, video games, music, and more that we have hidden. She’d like nothing more than to see it all burned to ashes.”
“Now, you should wake up, Aizawa-Sensi,” Midoriya said.
“WAKE UP!” Yamada yelled with his quirk causing Aizawa to snap his eyes open with a wide-eyed look and fall off of the couch while scrambling to get out of his sleeping bag.
“Hizashi,” Aizawa said with a growl before he noticed that his husband’s hair was down and no hat.
“You have no right to be mad at me,” Yamada said with his own glare. “You’ve been asleep and I have been trying to wake you up for the last fifteen minutes. This was the last resort!”
Aizawa sighed. “Fine, fine. Where’s Midoriya? I need to ask him something with all of his nerd energy.”
“Really? We will be discussing-”
“Zashi, I had a weird dream where Midoriya pretty much implied someone was SHOOTING at him with actual BULLETS. I will explain the rest of the dream to you later tonight, but for now, Midoriya?”
Yamada blinked and looked concerned. “He seemed tired so he went to his room, I believe. Shou, I’m worried about him because it seems like he’s gotten more stressed out. His eyebags are bigger than yours and Hitoshi’s combined. Are you pushing him too hard?”
“No, I honestly think he’s pushing himself too hard and I plan on finding out why soon, but he seems so busy,” Aizawa said.
He took a glance at his phone because even the group chat he was a ‘lurker’ in has been oddly quiet lately. One of the two mysterious persons has messaged in the chat asking about the health of the two of the three other members even stating that ‘Dad was worried’. Whoever the Dad was did not care for All Might’s health.
“I’ll be back,” Aizawa said.
~~
When Midoriya opened his door, he wasn’t expecting to see his homeroom teacher standing there with a scowl and glare.
“Detention,” Aizawa said.
“Huh? What? Why?” Midoriya said.
“Dream you called me a pretty lady in a very wet dress,” Aizawa said.
Midoriya blinked at his homeroom teacher. “I’m getting detention...over something that dream me said to you? That’s not very logical, sir,” Midoriya said.
Aizawa just looks at him with a bored expression. “After this dream, I forgot what logic even means,” Aizawa said. “May I come in to ask some questions?”
Midoriya stepped aside and Aizawa walked in. Once he heard the door click shut, he sighed. “Okay. So, dream you also mentioned something about someone shooting at you to protect the White Castle, is that true?”
Aizawa looked at Midoriya who had a confused expression on his face.
“Okay, I’m taking that expression as ‘I have no idea on what you’re talking about look’,” Aizawa said. “And now, for Eri’s sake and my own sanity, what version of Alice in Wonderland would you recommend to be appropriate for her.”
“What...version?” Midoriya said as his confusion became known and he tilted his head. “Isn’t there only one version of Alice in Wonderland?”
“No. There is a version of Alice wearing a blue dress -” Aizawa said but noticed that as soon as ‘blue dress’ left his mouth, the confused expression transformed into a narrowed glare with anger stimming behind the green eyes. “I vaguely remember watching a movie about-”
“You’re not good at lying, Sensei,” Midoriya said, crossing his arms. “And you misinterpreted my confusion earlier. The blue dress Alice in Wonderland stories and variations are only known to quirkless people and a select few of Quirked people.” Midoriya moved one of his hands to his chin. “You, however, do know a little about the White Castle which means you have been chosen, but by who and for what purpose. Were you chosen by the Caterpillar or the Mouse.”
“What are you talking about? You mean to tell me that the blasted dream-”
“Was a calling card. However, I do believe there is a rat amongst us so until I have confirmation over who chose you, I can’t say anymore,” Midoriya said. “I’m sure you understand what happens if secrets fall into the wrong hands. Now, may I get back to my homework Sensei?”
~~
Tea Party
Hatter: Eraserhead might be joining the Resistance. Gonna ask Mouse, Caterpillar, and possibly the White Queen for confirmation.
Cheshire: Another chess piece for white? Battle or Defense.
Hatter: He would be good for both, but hopefully battle. Because the two of us may be strong, but we need more help.