Chapter Text
There was a moment in time that, admittedly, felt like a dream. One so far away that Technoblade almost refused to accept it as a memory.
She was standing under a tree. Her dress was the same as always, form fitting and flowing in the wind, the dark color contrasting the greens and blue’s of the land before them. Techno had only just caught up, and though he was quiet, she still turned as if he was the loudest thing in those woods. Yet she smiled, that damn smile that kept Technoblade from rolling his eyes at himself for getting caught again. He couldn’t blame her for it, how could he sneak up on a Goddess.
As he came to a stop, she bounced, her hands suddenly holding the young warrior’s own scarred ones. “Techno, what a wonderful day!” She exclaimed in a cheerful tone, happier than normal. Though he’d become accustomed to such extroversion, today she just seemed...giddier.
That’s when he felt it, when she squeezed his hands in between them. It was cold, on a finger that used to be bare. Six rings, instead of her usual five, and Techno forced his fingers away from the woman to gaze at her left hand. Ring finger, a golden band with a small, glowing white stone.
He rose a brow. “Proposal? Already?” He muttered, a deep and monotonous voice that rivalled the light feeling around them, and Kristin laughed joyfully.
“Isn’t it beautiful? No human has ever given me such a gift before!” She spun gleefully, and Techno was just about ready to puke from how dizzy it made him, just from watching. “I don’t think I’ll ever take it off, it fits perfectly!”
Techno refrained from mentioning the fact that she could simply grow or shrink to help it fit better. “Does that mean you told him…?” He questioned. “About who you really are?”
That made her pause. But, she didn’t look upset, nor guilty even.
Well, maybe a little guilty. She gave the pink haired man a sheepish smile. “I have...sort of.” He gave her a look, and she pouted like a child. “I swear, he knows! And he took it really well, and I’ve...decided on something. Because of him.”
Techno didn’t like where this was going. She didn’t explain right away, much to his disappointment, and instead wandered out of the tree’s shade in favor of the edge of the hillside they stood on. She bent down to sit comfortably, and when Techno didn’t follow, she patted the grass beside her. He sighed, and stepped forward to join her, sitting with a hunched back and curved knees, one elbow resting on top of a propped up leg, the other holding himself up from behind.
“The mortal world is beautiful,” she started, and Techno watched her speak. Her eyes, however, were more focused on the sky. “ Humans are beautiful. I’ve watched them for hundreds- thousands of years. I love their creations, their passion, their love,” fiddled with her new ring as she spoke, a smile creeping on her face. “As you know all of this already. And Phil, he’s...he’ll never be able to spend ‘eternity’ with me, like he wants. That’s why I want to give him part of my immortality.”
If she could feel the shock, annoyance, confusion, and worry on Techno’s face, she refused to acknowledge it. “Admittedly, it’s not something I can do too much anymore. I shared quite a bit of my own power with you already.” She turned her head with a cheeky grin, and he opened his mouth to scold her, but the burning feeling in his cheeks and ears stopped him as he realized how hypocritical it’d be if he told her not to. “Phil is...special to me. I want him part of my life for as long as possible.”
Techno didn’t have the heart to argue, because it’d be selfish to tell her he didn’t want her to. Because if she did, it’d be increasingly harder for her to stay immortal. While yes, she could live for another thousand years as a Goddess, but sharing her immortality increases the chance of dying to... outside causes. Instead of arguing, then, Techno swore to protect her with his own life. He did already, but this time, he’d make sure nothing harmed her.
---
What a load of bullshit. Techno opened his eyes to see not a land of bright green and dots of colored flowers, but instead a hardwood floor and ugly browns. He was in an uncomfortably stiff chair as well, and instead of the relaxed slouch he was once baring, he had a straight back and crossed arms over his chest. His face felt strained and frozen, nothing like the man in the room with him.
Golden locks, a white button-up with black slacks, pacing back and forth as large, inhuman wings fluttered with emotions. Philza.
He locked his eyes on the other man in the room, blood red narrowed in on the golden figure. “Let me get this straight,” he began, voice deep and on edge. “You want me to stay here? Like, roommates, but with children?”
Phil smiled, and Techno felt like ripping it off the man. How could he smile, after everything that’s happened?
“I can’t leave them alone, they’re too young. And I can’t bring them with me when I leave for work or trade. Without...her, it’s hard.” Phil explained. It didn’t help the hostility Technoblade felt. It was most likely present on his face as well, because the blonde quickly continued. “She wanted you to stay with us in the first place- in our old home, I mean. Even though you were just a street down. She wanted you to meet the kids, too.” Phil smiled softly, through the looks in his eyes it was obvious it was because of Kristin. “She told them stories about you.”
At this, Techno felt his own eyes soften, but he didn’t press further. “You should know, then, that I’m dangerous.”
“I know.”
“I’ve hurt people. I’m someone humans fear.”
“Not me.” Phil stepped forward, pulled another chair from the table to sit in front of Technoblade, and looked at him with a suddenly serious expression. “You and me are the last pieces of what she really was. Don’t you want to keep that together? Keep what she loved together?”
Any relaxed expressions he had were gone. “What she was,” he growled lowly. “Is gone. Has been gone for a long time. Kristin was vulnerable because of us. We killed her.”
Phil didn’t react. No, he didn’t even look guilty, or upset at Technoblade’s accusations. “Techno,” he said softly. “Please, consider it. Everything she cared for is in this house right now. You and I, and our kids. She wouldn’t want it separated any longer.”
Techno stayed quiet. And, truthfully, he didn’t know what he wanted to do. Well, he did- he wanted to hide away inside his old shack until another God finds his rotting body and brings him a painful vengeance for not fulfilling his promise to Kristin. He begged that whoever the new God of Death was would not be merciful towards him. He wanted to hurt, to feel something. He didn’t want to be part of three innocent lives, because he would ruin whatever image she had put inside her children's heads. He would hear a voice and it would drive him mad, and if he ever even thought about hurting one of Kristin’s children, he would surely drive himself towards punishment instead of waiting. He couldn’t bare the idea that he could do something so horrid, and it…
It scared him.
But, he could just see it. Her wide, unwavering smile as she told a story of a hero. Her face lighting up every time they found something new together. The first, and only, time she truly fell in love. The way her eyes softened as she described her firstborn to him. The way she cried as she told him how sweet her secondborn was. The way she spoke about her third son reminding her of Techno, and how it both scared him, and warmed his heart.
He twirled something on his thumb. A golden band with a pleated carnation resembling design on the top. A ring. It calmed his thoughts, and his anxieties slowly drained.
“There’s already a room for you,” Phil said softly. “She made it up in the old house, in case you ever got lonely, so I rebuilt it here. I can help you move your belongings, if you’d like.”
Techno shook his head. “I can carry it myself. It’s only a few things.”
Phil smiled, and Techno couldn’t tell if he regretted accepting the offer or not.
---
It’d only been an hour since their talk, and yet Techno was now at the front door, a suitcase in his hand and a sword at his hip. He had nothing else.
He didn’t have to knock, for the door had opened after a moment, and there was a smiling blonde man at the front. “Here, let me take your things,” Phil offered, hand out. But Techno didn’t budge. He simply walked through the door awkwardly, hand gripped on the briefcase’s handle. Phil didn’t seem offended. “The kids are in the livingroom, when you’re ready to introduce yourself.”
Techno felt a pit in his stomach. He didn’t want to see the kids, he didn’t even want to think about them. But, he’d rather get it over with. With a sigh, he handed Phil the case finally- then unbuckled his sword sash. “Can you, uh...put this up there too? So they don’t, um, climb on it? Or something?” Techno asked. He didn’t know how kids worked, but he figured sharp things weren’t for them. Phil only chuckled, and took the sword with a kind look. Techno looked away. He waited until the other man headed towards the stairs before slowly stepping towards the livingroom passage, almost stuck in place once he heard the innocent laughter coming from inside.
Deep breath. Deep, deep breath- not too fast. Techno stepped through, ceasing whatever play the children had. The three were in a circle, with the biggest facing Techno directly.
And Gods, he looked exactly like her.
Wide, brown eyes that stared at him with a curious look, a round face and small nose, and large round glasses against the bridge. His hair was curly and the dame dark color Kristin wore, one that contrasted pale skin and light freckles- so light, they were almost unnoticeable.
Technoblade wanted to turn around and leave right then and there.
The second kid was small, but not worryingly so. Golden locks that resembled his fathers, though it was lighter and fluffier. His eyes were a sparkling blue that stared up at Techno with more awe than curiosity, as if he were some fairytale character. Well, technically, he was in their eyes if what Phil said about Kristen telling stories was true. The boy had horrible posture already, though, and didn’t look to be older than six.
The third boy was the only non-biological, though it’d be hard to tell if you didn’t know already. Lighter brown hair that swooped all around, a round and chubby face with even rounder eyes, as blue as the sky. He had a popping yellow sweater with a dark brown stripe, resembling a bee almost, and Techno could tell it was knitted by hand. He was the hardest to read, as his face was still, watching Techno carefully. He was almost a mix of Kristin and Phil, which was probably why he looked so natural in the bunch. No matter that, he was still Kristin’s child, and Techno knew she’d damn well tell off anyone who said otherwise- even Techno himself.
He’d been silent this entire time. He coughed slightly, giving an awkward wave to the little humans. “Uh...hi?” He muttered, and almost all at once, all three boys stood up to run to his legs.
“You’re tall!” The eldest exclaimed, staring up at the man. “Too tall. I think I’m gonna be bigger than you someday!”
Techno rose a brow, but didn’t have time to continue, as the blonde kid tugged at his hair. He really should have put it up before coming. “Why’s it pink? That’s weird, you’re weird.” He said, and Techno felt annoyance bubble up.
“Are you a fairy? ‘Cause you’ve got those ears and teeth?” The third asked, standing the furthest away. Techno’s eye twitched.
“Stop it- please , stop touchin’ me.” He grumbled, shaking his leg slightly to get the closer two away. Once they did, he knelt down slowly, with one knee propped up and the other holding his weight. “I’m, um...my name is Techno.” He said, trying to keep his cool. He really, really didn’t like this.
“That’s a weird name,” the glasses-kid said. “But mine’s Wilbur. That’s Tommy,” He pointed to the blonde one, who grinned and nodded in agreement.
The smallest looked excited. “Tubbo!” He exclaimed, pointing to himself. “We both got weird names!”
“No, don’t related to him yet, we’ve got to intimidate him!” Tommy whined, going to hold Tubbo’s hand with a pout. “We talked about this, dad said we had to be nice but us Big Men gotta make sure he knows who’s in charge!”
He was trying to whisper, but it was painfully loud still. Even the eldest, Wilbur, looked like he agreed with Techno’s observations. He sighed, and restrained the urge to roll his eyes. “So, I’m guessing you know why I’m here?”
Wilbur nodded, arms folded now. “You’re gonna be our babysitter.” He said, before huffing. “But we’re old enough to not need one! This is just patronizing.”
This time, Techno did roll his eyes. “Sure, kid. I’m not doing this for you, either.” He was blunt, and honestly, wanted to just hurry this up. “I’m only doin’ this for your parents. I’m an old...friend, of your mothers.”
At this, the boys quieted, and stared at Techno with unreadable eyes.
“How do you know our mom? We’ve never seen you before.” Tommy accused, still hand in hand with the smallest of the three.
Technoblade grumbled, really not wanting to do this. “I’ve known her since I was little.”
“Does that mean you’re old?”
He ignored the question. “Your mother told you stories about me, I guess. Ever heard of ‘The Blade’?”
Tommy’s eyes suddenly widened, and he bounced forward with a fiery excitement. “You’re the Blade!? No way, you’re real?”
“Tommy, he’s just pretending-”
“Do you have scars? A real sword? How many bad guys have you fought off at once? Have you ever died?” Tommy’s questions flew, and Techno regretted even bringing it up.
He sighed, before holding a hand up to stop the boy. “Yes, yes, more than you can probably count, and no.” He answered. “I’m not sure how much your mom told you, but I can assure you I’m very real.” Techno paused for a second to think, before suddenly standing again.
He looked at the boys, then hesitantly, he slipped off the ring from his thumb and held it up enough for them to see it clearly. “I am Kristin’s sworn protector,” Techno announced, his voice louder than the usual mumble. “I promised to keep her safe. In turn, that means I’ll keep everything she loves safe as well.” He looked at the three boys before him, who were staring in a childish anticipation. “Kristin loved you all very much, therefore I will protect you three with my life.”
The youngest were the first to move, bursting out in wide grins and running to his legs to pull on his baggy pants. “Teach us how to fight!” Tommy yelled. “I wanna use a sword! I’m a big man, I can do it!”
“We can fight bad guys and save villages and kill monsters-” Tubbo rambled as well. Wilbur stayed quiet, though, standing behind the two younger boys. His eyes were back on the ring, and Techno slipped it back onto his thumb. That’s when he broke contact with it, eyes adverting back to Techno.
Wilbur narrowed his eyes slightly, mouth opening as if he were going to pull the two boys back to reality, but he didn’t have to. Phil had entered the room with a grin. “Boys, lunch is ready.” He announced, and there were two small gasps of excitement before Tommy and Tubbo were racing into the kitchen. Wilbur followed close behind, and as soon as the last strand of hair was out of sight, Techno let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He groaned, pressing the palms of his hands into his eyes.
“I can’t do this, they’re already too much.” He muttered, and Phil patted his back in sympathy, though his laugh felt more like mockery.
He glared at the other man, but he ignored it. “You’ll get used to them. They’re good kids, just...energetic. But from what I saw, they like you already.”
Techno didn’t want to mention the accusatory look on the oldest kids face. He stayed quiet, and once he put himself back together, gave a curt nod to Phil before sauntering towards the stairs. He stayed quiet to make sure the boys didn’t call him back, and wandered to the hallway.
His room was obvious. The door was open and his suitcase was visible through the door, as a calling to let him know where to go. He followed, and went inside with a sigh. The room was beautifully decorated, with a large bed and a chest at the foot of it, as well as a mirror and a little closet. There was a large window, as well, and Techno could see the whole acres of flatland the house was built on, surrounded by a forest of darker greens and browns. He didn’t pay attention to the finer details of the room, instead he moved the sword resting on top of his mattress and laid in its place. His body felt heavy.
Techno closed his eyes and didn’t let a peaceful sleep take him away, instead a state of unconsciousness that kept his weight down. Not a sleep where he could dream, but instead, all he saw was a deep, dark void.
Here, he didn’t have to think about her. He didn’t have to look at the miniature versions of her. He could let go and rest.
But he couldn't let himself do that, could he?