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Funnily enough, Techno is just farming when it happens. It’s a sunny day, hot, and he digs through the dirt with a tool in hand, enjoying the work and enjoying the time. It’s boring, but it’s what he has. It’s enough.
Somewhat.
He carries out his chores, his mind somewhat quiet (with chat, noise is always a constant) and in the back of his mind there is a whisper that he has not heard in near years.
He recognizes it instantly, and latches onto it with a freeze in his movement.
‘Help help help Technoblade we need-’
And it stops just as quickly as it came.
---
He drops everything.
His logic tells him not to, to think rationally, but there is nothing, nothing at all that could ever stop him when he gets like this. Gods, it’s been so long. It’s been so long, and that is the first thing he hears?
Could you really blame him for being a bit protective?
‘Where are you?’ Techno asks, packing supplies and weapons and quickly rushing over to his fastest horse. Chat is screaming in his head, crying out for a fight, for blood, but Techno cannot give, not yet. He doesn’t know his target. ‘Where are you Wil? Tell me where you are.’
Nothing comes in response. It’s silent, just how it’s been for the past months. Wilbur’s made a habit of closing off his thoughts, and Techno’s done the same.
At first it seemed reasonable. Of course, they have their lives to live, they have their separate goals, why would they need to hear each other’s minds when they’re so far, so different?
Technoblade wants to hear him. He listens, more than he has before, and he realizes that the silence was never quite comfortable at all. With just chat alone in his ears, it’s not right.
He calls out to Wilbur again, and gets nothing in response. It doesn’t matter.
He keeps looking.
---
‘Where are you?’ Techno asks, and at last, there’s a quiet answer.
Wilbur’s voice is hesitant, frail. Confused, almost.
‘I don’t know.’
‘What do you know?’ Techno presses, and there is a surge of relief for them both at the fact Wilbur is responding. Wilbur feels so confused, so-
‘I don’t…?’ Wilbur trails off, and it is back to silence. Techno loses him. So he calls out, again and again, persistent, and Wil stays insufferably silent. ‘Help.’ He says, before falling back into quiet.
‘I’m trying.’
---
‘I don’t know where you are.’ Techno admits, and it is a bitter thing. He wants to spit out the truth and stay stubborn, keeping searching, but there is so much land to cover. And he doesn’t know where to look.
Phil is too far. He’d be of help, but he is far, and Techno does not have that sort of time. He can’t pull himself away to go farther. He can only try and get to Wil. In the back of his head, he knows that’s a stupid choice, but everything feels so frantic, and he can’t help it.
‘We’re in a ravine.’ Wilbur finally responds, and he sounds so tired. He feels tired, still feels confused, baffled. ‘We’re hiding in a ravine.’
Techno has his rush of joy, then. ‘...we?’
‘Me and Tommy.’
‘Are you okay?’
Bitterness. Techno feels it, and he can feel the next lie in his head. ‘Somewhat.’ He frowns. ‘I’m not dead, so there’s that.’
There’s a pause. ‘Help.’ Wilbur calls, and it’s so faint, but so loud in Techno’s ears.
‘Where are you?’
No response. Wilbur falls back behind his walls. But those walls have gotten awfully thin, and Technoblade has become stubborn.
He searches.
---
‘I should have never called for you.’ Wil admits, as Techno travels. His voice is comforting, even when it sounds so regretful, cold. ‘There was no need.’
‘You said it then.’ Techno remembers the fear, the panic, he was so desperate and scared- ‘You meant it then.’
Wilbur pauses, and for a moment Techno thinks that he’s going to slip back into silence.
‘That’s the thing.’ He says, and there is that confusion once more. ‘I didn’t say anything. I never meant to.’ He confesses, and Technoblade only hums.
Wilbur eventually falls back into his silence. Technoblade stays on track.
---
Technoblade crosses into land he is not allowed on, and he hides underneath the cover of the night, slipping into a town that he does not know. The buildings seem to have history, but Technoblade doesn’t know it. He only looks, searches, and-
‘No.’ Wilbur’s voice sounds horrified, and Techno holds a bit of victory in his chest, because now he knows he’s in the right spot. ‘No, you’re not-?’
He seems to grow more and more panicked upon realizing Technoblade has gotten close, and even more, he is in the same place Wilbur was exiled out from.
The same place where he lost a life. There’s a surge of anger coursing through them both, and it is Techno's.
‘You have to go.’ Wilbur pleads, and Technoblade is painfully stubborn.
‘You called for help.’
‘I didn’t mean to!’
‘Where are you?’ He asks, and there is only silence. No matter. He is nothing if not persistent.
---
There are people in these lands. Dream is an old face, but not a welcome one. At first, Technoblade considers him as a friend, an ally, someone to help with his search, but Wilbur comes back, and-
His voice turns panicked, scared, angry , upon knowing Dream is there, and Techno copies the emotions and he feels the same.
“Why are you here?” Techno is asked.
He doesn’t say a word.
---
‘Tell me where you are.’ Technoblade whispers, and Wilbur tries to shut himself away, then decides against it. He is loud, louder than he has been in a long time, and Techno welcomes the headache. ‘Where are you hiding?’
‘They’re going to kill you, they’ll kill you if they know you’re here for us-!”
‘I’ll deal with it.’ Techno promises, and they know he will. ‘Where are you?’
‘I should have never called for you! We don’t even need you here!’
Technoblade feels annoyed, angry, and he lashes out with emotions that aren’t even his own, Wilbur’s own anger spilling into his heart.
‘Should I just leave you here then?’ He snaps, and it is too harsh. Regret washes over them both as soon as he thinks it, but it’s too late. Wilbur falls away.
Silence.
Techno didn’t mean it. But he keeps searching.
---
There’s a fight. Several.
Wilbur is quiet, so quiet, and Techno is too loud, chat crying out for blood amongst them both. Everything feels muffled, everything feels frantic, and Technoblade has his targets.
“Where is he?” Techno asks, another person caught under his sword. Dream doesn’t seem so surprised. Only disappointed, annoyed.
“Dead, probably.” He says, and it was the wrong thing to say. His twin is not dead, he is there, his voice is there, Technoblade has to see him.
He loses his cover quickly, his face painted as an enemy. It’s not as if he was really trying to stay out of trouble, though.
---
‘What did you do?’ Wilbur asks, hesitant, as if he can’t figure it out from the way chat screams in their minds. They cheer and yell in unison and they both know the reason they would ever get like this.
‘I’m trying to look for you.’ Techno huffs, and he wipes off his sword. ‘Are you still okay?’ Hidden, he means. With what little he got from Dream, he knows that Wilbur is not safe unless he is hidden away from the people.
‘I don’t need your help. ’ Wilbur insists, his tone cold.
Techno scoffs.
---
‘Help help help-’
It’s a constant thing. Always during the scarce hours of sleep at night.
Techno is sure that Wilbur isn’t even aware of it, of what he’s saying. He doesn’t know about the way he keeps calling out, each and every night, Techno hearing it every single time.
‘Help, please, help help-’
It is desperate and scared, and it hurts. Technoblade wants to make it stop, make it better.
‘I’m going.’ Techno reassures, steering his horse into the forest. Wilbur won’t hear his words while he’s asleep, but Technoblade has to respond. ‘I’m on my way.’
---
‘Where is this ravine, anyway?’ Techno asks, after another day without any luck. He’s been bothered a few times in these trees, men being sent out by l’manburg.
Techno takes care of them easily enough. This is his forest to search through. They won’t find Wilbur before him.
‘...you’re still looking?’ Wilbur asks, and he had expected Technoblade to be closer, to figure out his location by now.
‘No one was useful back at town.’ No one is useful when they come to the forest and bother him. They know nothing, and Technoblade has no use for that.
‘Huh.’ Wilbur is relieved, then frustrated, and it is Techno who is ruining his relief. ‘Stop it.’ He says, a little ticked off.
‘Where are you?’
‘Fuck off.’
‘Delightful. I’m on my way.’
There’s a pause, and Techno listens. He has been for a while now, and he always will as long as he deems it important.
‘You keep saying that.’
---
‘You’re scared.’ Techno notices, feels it. It’s like there’s eyes watching him, seeing him, picking him apart, from every single shadow and crevice. It makes him want to hide away.
It made him want to tear up this whole forest, each tree and root so he can find Wilbur already.
‘I’m not.’ Wilbur lies, and they both know it, and both feel terrified. ‘Help, help, help. ’ He calls, and he doesn’t even know it.
---
Techno finds the ravine.
He tears through the dirt without any hesitation, and he walks down cold stone steps, calling, calling, calling.
‘You shouldn’t be here.’ Wilbur’s voice is there in his mind, and he himself is here, somewhere.
‘Where are you?’ Techno asks. It is the only thing he can think of.
‘Why the hell are you here?!’ Wilbur feels angry, they both feel furious, and then it is all washed out with worry, Techno’s own emotion drowning them both. Wilbur shrinks away, but he can’t leave.
It seems like he’s gotten uncomfortable with having his walls up. That, or he’s forgotten how to put them up at all.
‘Where are you?’ Techno asks again.
Silence. Techno feels so scared, and it is not his own fear. Wilbur says nothing, only listens, and Techno searches.
The ravine is cold. Barren. It’s a poor hiding spot, and Techno tells it like it is.
‘We didn’t have anywhere else to go.’
‘You could’ve gone to me.’
‘I don’t need you to clean up my mistakes, Technoblade.’
There’s a flash of blood on the dirt and a sword in Techno’s hand. Chat whispers in their ears, and they both know.
‘I already did.’ Technoblade says, and his steps seem deafening, echoing out.
There’s not many places to hide in here. Technoblade paces around, and Wilbur’s voice becomes quick, full of panic.
‘I never meant to call for you.’ He confesses, and he is so scared, fear, fear, fear- ‘It was a mistake, it was- it was a mistake, I was only-’
‘Wilbur.’ Technoblade keeps looking, stopping in his steps.
‘-I meant- I thought it was-’
‘Are you-?’ Techno looks up, and shock ripples through them both. ‘Are you up on that ledge?’
‘No.’
“Yes.” Technoblade says aloud, and his voice is low, yet so loud.
There is shame burning through Wil, and Techno just tilts his head with a hum. Just barely, he can see the edge of his brown hair poking over from this angle. He would’ve never noticed at first glance. It’s a good spot.
“Leave.” Wilbur says, and his voice, his real voice, sounds rough. It’s hoarse and dry, and Techno frowns.
“How did you even get up there?”
Wilbur peeks over. He looks exhausted, even from here. “You learn to climb after a few weeks of boredom.”
Techno smiles. Looks around. “And Tommy?”
Wilbur huffs, hiding again, out of sight. Technoblade sends disappointment over, and Wilbur does not respond. “...I sent him off on a mission.” More like a visit. He wanted Tommy away, not present for this. He’s off sneaking away with Tubbo, ‘gathering intel’. Wilbur had only hoped that maybe, if he sent Tommy off for a bit, he could make Techno leave, and-
“Come down.”
“No.” They both hold frustration, but it is of different types. Wilbur wanting Techno to leave. Techno wanting Wilbur to come to him. “Fuck. Off. You have no reason to be here-”
“You’re still calling for help.”
Silence.
And,
‘Help, help, help-’
“I don’t mean to.” Wilbur says, and oh, isn’t it just like when they were little? Sharing thoughts without meaning to, by accident, by impulse. Privacy and control have gotten better over the years.
It all seemed to just- shatter, when the election went wrong. When everything went wrong.
“Come down here.” Techno says, and Wilbur wants to listen, he does, but he can’t, he won’t, and there is- ‘Wilbur.’ Techno’s voice echoes in his head, and it is so familiar, it makes him want to fall apart.
“Go.” Wilbur demands, but it’s weak.
‘How do I even get up there? Where do I-’ A pause. ‘Maybe...a ladder?’
“Fucking leave, Technoblade.”
‘If I throw you a piece of rope, could you just like, pull me up?’
“Fuck’s sake.” Wilbur pushes his palms against his face, a pathetic laugh coming from his throat. “I’d drop you.”
‘Probably.’
They lapse into silence, and they both hate it. Wilbur hates to admit it, but he needs Techno’s voice. And Techno has been searching for too long for him to just have silence all over again.
‘Are you okay?’ Techno asks.
Wilbur stays quiet.
‘You’re still scared.’
He’s quiet, this ravine is dead silent but their heads are so loud, with chat, with Wilbur’s cries, with Techno’s voice.
‘I’m not leaving until you stop calling for help.’
Wilbur breathes in, opens his mouth, and closes it. ‘I’m trying.’ He thinks, and it sounds so pathetic. ‘Help, help, help.’ He keeps calling, and gods, he can’t stop. He doesn’t know how. He can’t make it stop.
‘Just come down.’
‘I can’t.’
‘...what, are you stuck up there-?’
Wilbur bursts out laughing, and there is despair drowning him whole. He is scared and hesitant and he wants to sink into the stone, never to be seen again, but goddammit, Techno won’t let him.
“I’m not stuck.” Wilbur speaks, and his throat burns. “I can get down.”
A pause. “Then do it.”
“I really don’t want to.” Wil admits, another quiet laugh. “I don’t want to, Techno.”
“I didn’t come all this way just to have you stay on a ledge out of sight.” Technoblade deadpans. There is concern sinking into Wilbur’s skin, and he wants to scrub it off, throw it away, he does not deserve that. But who is he to tell Techno what to feel? He can’t control that.
He cannot control Techno. He cannot stop his thoughts, and frankly, he doesn’t want to.
‘Come here.’ Techno beckons once more, and Wilbur tries to pull away. He tries to hide himself away in silence, block Techno out completely, just like how he’s been doing for so long.
He finds that he can’t.
‘Come down here, Wil.’ Technoblade insists, and his voice is ringing, echoing around in Wilbur’s skull. Wilbur covers his ears, but Techno is still there, gentle but firm, persistent, always fucking stubborn.
He doesn’t know anything, he doesn’t know anything at all, if he knew, would he still be so persistent? Would he still be so stubborn? If he knew just how much of a failure his twin has become?
‘I hardly think you’re a failure, Wil.’ Technoblade’s voice is calm, and Wilbur feels anything but.
‘What do you think?’ Wilbur asks, and suddenly, he has to know. He needs to know, Technoblade has come all this way, Wilbur needs to know why. He searches, listens, and it all suddenly goes quiet. “What-?”
“If you want to know,” Technoblade says, and the words feel like a death sentence, Wilbur staring into stone with silence in his ears. “you’ll have to come down.”
It seems like it’s only Wilbur who has forgotten how to put his walls up.
‘Stop it.’ Wilbur calls, listens. Only chat is there, but chat is a constant. It is a whisper. ‘Help, help, help-’
“Wilbur.” Technoblade calls, but he is saying it outloud.
‘Stop, stop.’ Wilbur tries to listen, but Techno won’t respond. ‘Answer me! Answer me here!’
“Wil.”
‘Why are you making this so difficult?!’ Wilbur’s chest aches, his eyes burn, and a sob threatens to pour out. He chokes it back just barely, and Techno responds with comfort, a promise of safety.
Safety. As if. Wilbur has not been safe for weeks, not here. He is hiding and he is starving, and they are a pathetic rebellion that has nowhere to go. Wilbur is a fool, a fucking idiot who can’t-
There is a burning anger that rises up, quick and sudden, and it is sharp. Wilbur flinches away, and it is replaced with soft regret. A tear rolls down Wilbur’s cheek, and he stares off into nothing with wide eyes, his surprise flowing through him.
‘Sorry.’ Techno says, and Wilbur listens.
Wilbur listens.
He turns his head towards the end of the ledge, eyes still wide, and with shaking hands, he goes to climb off. He’s done this plenty of times before. This spot is a good one to hide out in, so he goes up here often.
He still stumbles once he gets to the bottom, his feet touching the ground.
Technoblade is a good few feet away, watching Wilbur the entire way down, and he watches as Wilbur turns to him, dirty, tired, familiar.
And there is regret, overwhelming regret, flowing through, drowning them both.
Wilbur takes a step back, and Techno cannot think, there is only regret, regret, regret-
He moves.
He moves towards Wilbur, and within the regret there is fear, and it is suffocating. Technoblade can’t help but feel some sense of pity, because if this is what Wilbur is feeling, then how is he even standing at all? He gives pride towards Wilbur for him lasting so long, doing so well, but it is lost in the regret, the fear, and so Technoblade moves. He ignores it, ignores the sick feeling of despair, and he reaches his arms out, Wilbur stumbling back and-
Love.
Wilbur freezes.
There is love, relief, and Techno squeezes Wilbur tight, holding him close. Something like shock stabs through them both, but it is drowned in love and Wilbur is trying to pull back.
“What-”
Love, and worry, and relief, relief, he is so relieved-
“What are you-?” Wilbur struggles, a bit more this time, and Techno curls his palm against the back of his head.
It is joy and hope and love, and Wil has gone a long while without that, the whiplash is devastating. Wilbur chokes, and then sobs, and he fights, hands scratching at Techno’s shirt, trying to kick him away.
“Get away from me!” Wilbur cries, and yet he is still calling. ‘Help, help, help-’
‘I’m here, I’m here.’ Techno responds, and Wilbur gives a strangled noise, feet kicking, and they both go down somewhat gracefully. Techno breaks his fall and still won’t let go, and Wilbur tries to pull him away to hit him in the face, make him leave.
“Leave!” Wilbur yells, nails digging into Techno’s arms. ‘Don’t go, don’t go-’
‘I won’t. I’ll stay.’ Techno’s voice is in his head and Wilbur snarls. He is pressed down into the stone floor, not to hurt him, but mostly to just make him stop kicking. Tears are streaming down Wilbur’s face and he ignores it, acting as if Technoblade is an enemy trying to kill him.
“Get the fuck OUT!” Wil lets out a strangled noise, and Techno buries his face into his hair. ‘Please don’t go, don’t go-’
‘I’m not going anywhere, Wil.’ Techno reassures, and everything is so loud yet so quiet, and Wilbur sobs out into the silence, crying out and screaming.
“I HATE YOU!” Wilbur swears, and it is a bitter lie, even on his own tongue. ‘I love you, I love you, I love you-’
There is love, there is love settling onto them both and Wilbur wails and cries and falls apart. Techno is here. Techno is here, which means help is here, which means it’s safe, it’s okay, but it’s not, and he cannot think-
‘Then don’t think at all.’ Techno suggests, and Wilbur gasps for air and cries again. ‘Don’t think, don’t talk, just listen to me, Wil-’
Techno’s voice is steady and loud and solid, and Wilbur cannot help but listen. He is incapable of shutting him out, his control has crumpled up into nothing, and he just closes his eyes and shakes.
‘Help, help, help, help-’
‘I’m right here.’ Techno responds, and he holds Wil even tighter, pulling them up into a sitting position. ‘I’m right here, Wil, right here.’
‘Help, help, help-’ Wilbur can’t stop, he can’t stop, there is nothing but fear and desperation and Techno washes it all out with love.
‘You’re okay.’ It is quiet in the ravine, Wilbur’s dying sobs being the only noise. It is so loud in their heads, shared voices and shared thoughts, and it is just like when they were little. No walls, no hiding away. Only each other, being able to call for the other when they needed help.
‘You’re safe.’ Techno promises, and Wilbur tries to hold onto it. ‘I’ll never let anything hurt you again.’
Everything-
Slips away, for a long moment.
There is only Techno’s voice in his head and chat whispering so quietly and his own crying breaths echoing out into the ravine. Wilbur feels stable, for once, feels loved. It is so overwhelming and obvious that he cannot deny it, and he has no choice but to simply listen.
When he opens his eyes, he feels exhausted, but it is a different type of tired. If Techno were to let him go, he would just hit the floor, and really, that’d be fine.
‘I wouldn’t just drop you.’ Techno huffs, a hint of irritation rippling through. Wilbur hums, staring over Techno’s shoulder, the world seeming fuzzy. He wants to pull himself together, actually do something of worth now that his mind is clear, but he can’t really move. Techno still hasn’t let go.
Wilbur’s stopped calling for help.
It’s strange, now, it seems so obvious how often he had been doing it with the way his mind feels so quiet, no cries being made. There is only him, him and Techno, like how it’s always been.
‘Hi.’ Wilbur offers, with nothing much to say.
‘Hey.’ Techno squeezes the arm around him, and Wilbur hums once more. ‘Are you going to explain what exactly you’ve been doing these days?’ He asks, and Wilbur’s shoulders tense up, the fear crawling back up-
Gods, what does he say? What can he say? Techno would be there whatever the situation, but even so, Wilbur’s mind insists-
‘Nevermind, nevermind.’ Techno shushes him, and everything is calm again. ‘Later.’ He says, and Wilbur still doesn’t like that, but it’s enough.
There’s a faint noise of footsteps against stone, high up at the top of the stairs, voices echoing down, and Technoblade turns his head towards it with a tight hold around Wilbur’s shoulders. There’s a rush of protectiveness that makes Wilbur feel honestly a little dizzy, and he shakes his head.
‘Tommy.’ Wilbur says quickly, before anything happens. He hits at Techno so he can let go, but Techno does no such thing. He only loosens his grip, and stares up at the stairs. ‘And Tubbo.’ Wilbur adds, trying to also send through that they have eyes, they’re going to see them. Techno does not let go . ‘I’m the president.’ Wilbur says, and there, now Techno is really listening. ‘I have a fucking reputation, Techno.’
Techno tilts his head. ‘And?’ He says, and Wilbur wants to smack him upside the head, but Tommy’s already reached the bottom of the stairs, spotting them both.
He yells out in surprise and runs to them both, greeting Techno with no small amount of joy. Wilbur struggles to get up and maintain some sort of sense of dignity, but Techno stays close, and just rests his head against Wil’s, listening to both Tubbo and Tommy voice their shock at seeing Techno again.
Tommy doesn’t bat an eye at the fact Wilbur is being held hostage as a hug victim. Tubbo voices his confusion over the twin’s habit of staring, but Tommy explains it easily enough.
“They’re twins.” He says, and Techno holds Wilbur just a little closer. “They can read each other’s fucking minds.”
“Woah.” Tubbo says, and Tommy nods in agreement.
‘I love you.’ Wilbur says, and he had meant for that to be an insult, but it just didn’t work out.
‘Love you too.’
Techno responds, and Wilbur closes his eyes, satisfied.