Work Text:
The knock at the door came late. Too late to not be a purposeful visit. She had long ago changed into her sweats and her hair was all piled into a messy knot on her head. The work she had brought home was still scattered across her couch, though. That’s the only reason she was still awake.
Another knock, in a melodic rhythm. A second later, she heard the distant chime of her phone. It was sitting in her bedroom on her nightstand charging and no doubt now held a sarcastic text from Lucy Tara signalling that she was knocking on her door like Kate didn’t already know. She didn’t move from her spot, instead turning the page on the report in her lap despite the fact that she was no longer actually registering the meanings of the words there.
It wasn’t like she didn’t want to see Lucy. She did. She ached to see Lucy sometimes. She invented reasons to see Lucy. Even when they weren’t speaking. Even when they weren’t looking . Even though she had been the one to put an end to both several times.
It wasn’t the lack of wanting that made her hesitate. It was the lack of confidence that Lucy wasn’t on the other side of the door waiting to end it for good. Kate always felt she was either too much or too little. At the same time. All the time. Eventually, Lucy would figure that out. If she hadn’t already. Or even worse, she’d wait to figure it out when Kate was hopelessly and irrevocably in love and absolutely rip her heart out and catapult it into the deepest depths of the ocean, where, let’s face it, Lucy would never ever go find it.
It was possible. It could happen so easily. If Lucy batted her eyelashes at Kate one more goddamn time...that would probably do it. And maybe that was why she was taking her time answering the door. What if Lucy wasn’t here to end it, but to start it. In earnest. No secrets. All in. What then? Why did it terrify her to have everything she wanted?
“Whistler?” Lucy called as she knocked a little louder. “It’s me.”
Kate closed the bulky folder and set it aside. She grabbed her mason jar of pinot off the table and made sure to put it in the sink. She’d almost made it to the door before doubling back to hide the wine bottle in the cabinet. She damn sure wasn’t going to give Lucy the satisfaction either way.
She gathered herself before reaching for the door handle. She groaned at her bare feet, smoothed her t-shirt and cursed herself for feeling vulnerable in her attire when Lucy had seen her naked multiple times at this point. “Fuck it,” she breathed out as she quickly pulled the hair tie out of her hair, causing it all to messily tumble down over her face and opened the door still brushing it back.
“Is this a bad time?” Lucy asked. She stood there, looking fucking amazing in her jeans, and a button down that revealed the tiny freckle above her boob. It was tough being so perceptive sometimes. Lucy came straight from work, it seemed. Kate’s quick glance determined that she’d foregone the gun and badge, so probably not a fact finding mission. It made Kate feel better to confirm the visit was personal.
She took a deep breath, mainly to steady herself against the fluttery feelings that always made her off balance when Lucy appeared. She crossed her arms over her chest and leaned on the jamb. “It’s late.”
“I know,” Lucy shrugged. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, I was up wor-,” Kate trailed off. “I’m awake. It’s fine.”
“No, well, yeah,” Lucy seemed to struggle with what she wanted to convey. “I’m sorry that it’s late. But, also, I’m sorry about earlier today.”
“Oh,” Kate said, a little surprised. “Okay.”
“Okay?” Lucy asked. “Are we...okay?”
“You reduced me to a one-dimensional character,” Kate said. “I guess it hit a nerve.”
“That was not my intention,” Lucy said sincerely. “And I don’t even think that.”
“You obviously do-”
“I don’t. And I’m genuinely sorry,” Lucy apologized again. “But...”
“There’s a but?” Kate rolled her eyes. “Of course, there’s a but.”
“There’s a ‘but’ because you’re not exactly forthcoming,” Lucy said forcefully.
Kate nodded, knowing this about herself, but unwilling to admit it to Lucy quite yet.
“And all of the starts and stops, of which, there have been a few,” Lucy drawled, “were because you asked for it...or want it to be compartmented ...and honestly, that feels like a professional decision.”
Kate took it in, wanting to argue that she was in this relationship despite her professional ambition and every instinct of self-preservation she had, but thought the better of it.
Lucy leaned in, encroaching on her space. “You’re not an open book. And, I was hesitant to ask questions because I didn’t know if you would answer...or if this, ” Lucy motioned between them, “was a situation in which questions were allowed.”
“Of course, they are,” Kate said quickly. “I thought that’s what we were doing... now .”
“Yeah, now , finally,” Lucy said. She shuffled on her feet and glanced up at Kate. “It feels like everything I do know, I’ve had to...I don’t know, figure it out on my own, I guess. Which I’m good at, it’s my job, so...”
“I don’t know if that's accurate.”
“Okay, wow...” Lucy snapped back in offense.
“No, no,” Kate sighed. “You’re great at your job,” she explained. “But, it’s not like I’m intentionally withholding classified information.”
“You just said the phrase ‘intentionally withholding classified information’ in a conversation about our relationship,” Lucy offered. “Feels businessy.”
“Fine, okay,” Kate acquiesced. “I can see where you might get that impression.”
“You don’t share.”
“I do...,” Kate said very weakly. “I’ve been known to share...before.”
“Um, no,” Lucy said. “Let’s see, I know you’re a hockey fan because there’s a Minnesota Wild coaster on your desk at work. And I only really know it because I googled Minnesota Wild thinking it was something else.”
Kate’s brows drew together in confusion. “Like what?”
Lucy licked her lips, “I don’t know, something else. Way sexier. Whatever,” she changed the subject. “I only know you have a sibling because of the lockscreen on your phone. I only know you love street tacos because that time we bumped into each other at that food truck and I playfully asked if you were stalking me, you said quote, ‘I love street tacos, you narcissist,’ unquote.”
“You were with Tennant, Lucy!”
“And Tennant could probably give three fucks if we’re fucking.”
“But you don’t know that,” Kate pointed out.
“Eh,” Lucy lifted a shoulder, just to drop it. “She trusts me. And as we’ve established, I’m good at my job. And also, that’s work stuff. Tennant is my boss. And yeah, you and I know each other from work...we sometimes work together, but this is so not about work. If I just wanted to bang someone I worked with, well, I’d have a lot of interesting choices. But, that’s not what I’m doing. So no, I don’t know everything about you, Katherine M. - I’m not sure what the M stands for- Whistler, but I want to.”
“Really?” Kate asked, a smile threatening her lips.
“Yes!” Lucy practically squealed. “This may have started with a series of admittedly ill-advised, yet insanely good hook-ups, but I’m not ashamed to say that I, um, might have...okay, yeah, did, in fact, catch...the feels. A little. For you.”
Kate cringed ever so slightly. “That’s how you’re going to tell me you have feelings for me?”
“I already told you that,” Lucy argued. “In a parking lot a month ago. C’mon. Keep up.”
“You didn’t actually,” Kate said. “You said I was amazing.”
“Yeah, and the statement still stands. But, I want to know just how much more amazing you are,” Lucy grinned because she knew she was smooth as fuck. "If you let me..."
Kate swallowed down the copious amount of pure thirst and reached out to pull Lucy in her apartment with a face-splitting smile. “Permission granted, Special Agent.”