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You and Meredith, It's unexpected but it happened. You're not sure how or when it started but you became friends. You hang out, you tell each other personal stuff, you share coffee and jujus and you are now both lying in an on call room after scrubbing out of hours long surgery.
"I, uh, I think that you should be together," You suddenly tell Meredith breaking the comfortable silence that fell upon you
"What now?" She clarifies clearly clueless to what you're referring
"You and Derek. I think you should get back together. I'm planning– wait– no. I've finally decided to divorce him so you both can be together. I think that after what I've done, cheat on derek with mark, it's only fair that I do this and just let derek have it; you, his happiness. That's okay right? You love each other and you're each other's happiness so, uhmm, it's okay right?," You further explain which seemed to only confuse her even more
"Addison, I–"
"No. Stop. I'm not done yet."
"Addie"
"Meredith, I don't think I've ever apologized for what you've gone through because of Derek and I. You are a good person and you didn't deserve any of what we've put you through. I'm really very sorry we've hurt you."
"You're right I didn't but that's alright. I know you at least didn't mean to and somehow knowing that information, it makes it all okay. It makes me feel okay. I'm perfectly okay now. Yes... i'm... okay." Meredith says, stopping for a moment to really really really look at you before adding, "Addie, where are you going with this? Why are you suddenly telling me all this?"
"Nothing. I guess I just realized a few things. Actually a lot of things. I shouldn't have taken your McLife from you. I shouldn't have asked him to be with me. I really shouldn't have and it wouldn't have made you unhappy and I'm sorry. I should have let him go. I should have stepped aside, been a better person. I should've a lot of things... I really like you, you know. You're pretty, kind, caring, smart, selfless (sometimes to a fault), extraordinary and i just... I really wish you can still forgive me for all the pain I've caused you. I just hope that it isn't too late, that i can still bring those sparkles, that once reside in your eyes but is now gone, back. Really, i just want to see you happy again. Your happiness; that's it. That's all I'm hoping to get from this divorce, Meredith. I think that's all I ever want now." You confessed, sitting up and getting ready to slip out of the-now-seemingly-suffocating room and escape from Meredith but before you can do so, you feel her small hands encase you in a tight hug, shocking and trapping you
"Addie, Addison, i don't know where this is coming from but i don't wanna hear it no more. It's all in the past now. I've long forgiven you and I'm okay, you're okay, Derek's okay, we're all okay and getting along fine. Everything's okay, alright. So please, just stop." She says somehow calm but the way her voice shakes you can tell she's anything but.
"But are we really? Is he? Are you? I know you think you're very subtle, but you're not." You say smiling sadly as you turn around to face her, hands reaching up to cup her face, "I see how you look at us, Meredith. I see how your smile drops. I see how your shoulder slumps. I see how your lips quiver as you try your best not to cry. I see you and then those sad eyes and then i see and see you and see you and then i see you some more and then it breaks my heart and, and, and i can't– Mer. It's too much. I feel so much guilt. I've hurt you too much already by coming here and I'm not about to cause any more damage by staying here. I'm going to fix this, what i broke, you and Derek. I'm gonna divorce him, Mer. I'm gonna do whatever it takes to bring those bright smile and shiny eyes back. You can finally be happy with him, Mer. And if you're worried about me, don't. This is for me as much as it's for you and Derek. I still love him, you know. Maybe not in the way I used to but I love him." You finish, smiling but no longer bothering to stop the tears from falling.
"Addie, why do I feel like I'm– we're going to lose you? Are you– are you going to take up that job in L.A.?" Meredith asks shaking a little, panic clear in her voice.
"No? Maybe? I don't know yet."
"Addie... about Derek, you don't have to breakup with him, atleast not so he and I can be together. I am over him, so over him, Addie. Besides I'm already falling for someone else and If I'm correct she's falling for me too." Meredith reveals and you're not sure if you're happy with this information so you stay silent.
Silent as you remove your hands from her wet cheeks. Silent as you try and fail to disentangle yourself from her. Silent as you fight her tightening grip. Silent as she nuzzles her face into your neck. Silent as she finally looks up to you. Silent. Silent. Silent. Silent.
"Stop! Please! Stay... Stay and I'm not just talking about now. I want you here in Seattle.. with me.. and for me. It's you, Addie. You're the person that I'm falling for and I think you falling for me too. Here. Feel how hard my heart is beating for you. I can feel yours. Now feel mine, Addie. It's all for you."
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The end