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Leia remembered Ben fondly.
He was a confusing man, remarkable and utterly unforgettable. She remembered the man whose eyes shined like pools of water, tears unshed as they stared at her. His voice was crisp, accented like those from Coruscant and full of pain. She would admit that she had been a brat during her time with him, yet she couldn't forget the kindness he had shown her.
But after she was delivered home safely, she never saw that kind, sad man again.
It is, to this day, one of her many regrets. If Leia had the chance to see Ben again, thank him and tell him of all her adventures and how he inspired her and motivated her even to this day, she would take it in less than a heartbeat. But, unfortunately, any hope of reunion is shattered with the destruction of Alderaan, her parents being the only people in existence with a direct link to his commlink.
Her heart ached at the thought. Her soul screamed out in pain. There was so little she had left from Alderaan, and more than once, she's had to carefully choose which objects would be sacrificed if they suddenly moved bases and which she could not part with. And yet, despite the childishness, sentimentality, and limited space, she finds herself unable to part with the small, worn gloves Ben had bought her all those years ago.
Yes, Leia remembered Ben fondly.
And she desperately wished to meet him again, reclaim that last piece of her childhood that hadn't been blown away in an instant.
Despite everything, she had held out hope of meeting that strange man.
Her yearnings for a reunion were solidified and shattered at the same time- in the aftermath of the Empire's end, near Anakin Skywalker's funeral pyre. She held a lot of contempt and hatred for the man who destroyed everything she held dear, yet she couldn't help wanting to know more about him. Of the man he was before Vader, the kind loving Jedi who risked everything for his happily ever after with her biological mother.
She didn't even know what he looked like from before. Maybe that was why she asked the older man, a Captain Rex of the 501st. The former Clone Captain of the battalion otherwise known as Vader's Fist. The clone who was on Endor as the Emperor took his last breath. He was Anakin Skywalker’s right hand man.
Said man was standing in front of Skywalker's pyre, and an older Togruta woman was smiling sadly at his side.
They were paying their respects to the man they once knew, yet she still asked. She could not help the burning curiosity inside of her. She crept towards them, yet the older woman inclined her head softly as if she could sense Leia. Her interest only grew as she caught sight of twin sabres and, having taken a moment to gather her courage, Leia stepped out into their line of view.
She could tell they recognized her, but it wasn't Princess Leia, General of the Rebellion. No, they saw a ghost where only Leia stood. She fought to keep her anger at bay; she understood that she held an uncanny likeness to Padme Amidala. She wished for once that someone saw Leia and didn't see a ghost or a princess.
Just Leia.
The last time someone had seen her and saw only Leia had been Ben. It was one of the many endearing moments she loved about the man. Ben had seen Leia before any ghosts. He had seen her despite all his sorrow and pain and that blasted insistence on calling her princess.
"Is that-?" Rex breathed.
The other woman shook her head softly, "No, but she bears an uncanny likeness, don't you think, Rex?"
Captain Rex nodded, his gaze solemn and full of grief as he gazed at her. Leia stepped closer to them, stopping only a few feet before them and fighting the urge to fidget. Mother hadn't liked when she did that, but her father had found it amusing. He said that it reminded people that even mortals could unsettle the fearless Princess of Alderaan.
Leia cleared her throat, "I see my brother told you of Skywalker's pyre."
"Padme had twins," the woman said, shock ringing in her voice.
Leia nodded, "Yes, though I was raised by my mother and father elsewhere from Luke. I am told we were separated for our safety. My name is Leia, and you've met my brother Luke. But I haven't had the pleasure to meet your acquaintance -?"
"Ahsoka. Ahsoka Tano, I was a friend of your mother and father, both pairs. And this is Captain Rex, formerly of the 501st." Ahsoka spoke softly. Her voice rang with pain similar to Ben's, making the ache in her heart grow.
Leia breathed in sharply, trying to calm her nerves, "I know that I hold no love for Vader, but Anakin Skywalker was said to be a kind and honourable man before his fall... I never knew what he looked like. Nor my birth mother. I was wondering...if you might be willing to tell me. If you're okay with that. I understand if you'd rather not."
Rex stepped forward, a tight smile on his face, but his eyes shone with unshed tears. "I can do you one better- I have a photo of us all, from back during the Clone Wars. As far as I'm aware, it's the only one we ever took, all of us together before the end." He reached to his side and pulled out a comm, pressing a few buttons, and an image popped up.
It fizzled for a few moments before stabilizing, and all to soon, Leia's breath caught in her throat. She saw the two standing before her, younger than they were now and smiling. She saw who she assumed to be, Padme and Anakin, love and devotion clear in their eyes, and her heart warmed at the thought. It was like a balm on her soul to finally have proof of Anakin Skywalker's fabled love, the passion that caused the lives of so many to be snuffed out.
Of course, it didn't make what he did right, but, in some way, it soothed her to know that he didn't cause all that pain and destruction because he was simply evil. He was lost. Lost and in pain and needed help.
There was another clone in the photo, wearing Commander's armour that held golden sunbursts on it. A unique scar curled around his eye, and he held himself in a more relaxed version of what she assumed to be parade rest. But it was the figure beside the Commander, their fingers not quite touching and smiling wide that made her choke back tears.
Leia reached forward and let a finger touch his painfully young face, "Ben." She breathed, tears coming to her eyes. She took a shuddering breath and looked up at their slightly shocked faces, "You knew Ben?"
Rex blinked for a few moments, eyes misty, and Ahsoka looked similar as she gazed at Leia. "We did, but back then, he went by another name. He was my Grandmaster, but he was the closest thing I had to a father. I may have been Anakin Skywalker's padawan, but everyone, even myself, knew that I was being taught by the two of them."
"What was his name? I only ever knew him as Ben. I've been looking for him to thank him for everything he had done for me. He...saved me as a child. Pirates had kidnaped me on the orders of an Inquisitor, and Ben came to my aid. I was such a brat back then- I didn't believe he was a Jedi until he used the force to save me. I never saw him again after he returned me home safely...I still have the gloves he bought me as a child, even when I truly didn't need them... I merely thought they were pretty, and still, he got them for me." Leia explained, tracing Ben's face with her finger.
Her heart was beating rapidly in her chest, her throat dry as her mind raced. Over a decade of late-night wonderings, a thousand renditions of the moment she'd meet him again- she was so close!
Ahsoka sniffled and smiled sadly at Leia, "Ben was a nickname of his- he was given it as a young teenager by his first love. He often used it when undercover- I don't know why it surprises me that he used it even after the Order fell. He was a High General, a Jedi Master, an accomplished diplomat and yet, he never could part with that stupid name." Ahsoka laughed fondly, shaking her head as her eyes fell on the image of her Grandmaster, eyes softening.
Rex could sense her growing need to know as he smiled at her, "The general's real name was Obi-Wan Kenobi, a Jedi Master and General of the 212th Attack Battalion. This man right here," Rex paused as he pointed to the other clone, eyes misting over and ignorant of how Leia's heart shattered in her chest. "This was his Commander. My Vode was Marshal Commander Cody, the two of them were inseparable throughout the war, much like your father and Obi-Wan was."
Tears fell down her face, and Leia gave a wet laugh, "That's fucking typical- I was too late, again. I already missed my chance." Her arms felt numb, and she clenched her fists tightly, ignoring the pain coming from them as her emotions ran rampant. She was too late, and she would never get to see him again, to thank him for all he had done for her.
She hadn't even realized someone was calling out her name until she felt her brother's hand touch her softly, "-Leia? Are you okay? I could feel your distress through the force." She blinked back tears as she stared at her brother, the only one who would know what she was feeling. She could still feel Ahsoka and Rex's stares, yet she couldn't focus on them or their apparent concern for her.
She needed to tell Luke.
He needed to know.
"Oh, Luke," she breathed, tears streaming down her face. "Do you remember when I told you about the man who saved me as a child?"
Luke nodded, tilting his head, eyes showing his puzzlement. His hand was an anchor on her shoulder, keeping her grounded and her thoughts clear as she attempted to convey what she needed to say. "I do. You always said you wished to meet him again. But Leia, what's the matter? Are you okay?"
Leia shook her head, vision blurring with tears, and she placed her hands on Luke's shoulders, "The man who saved me all those years ago, the one who inspired me, was Ben. His name was Ben."
She choked out a sob, one that turned into a laugh halfway through, "All this time, all these years. He was standing there, he was so close and I didn't even realize it was him. He died on that force-forsaken battle station and I couldn't even recognize that Obi-Wan Kenobi was the man who saved me as a child."
Luke looked at her, grief welling in his eyes and tears brimming, his force signature latching onto hers and gripping her hand tightly, just as they always did. He smiled sadly at her and Leia let her forehead rest on his shoulder, whispering in a hoarse voice, "My Ben and your Ben were the same person, Luke. He was always watching over us, and now we can't even thank him."
Luke folded his arms around her and Leia didn't need to step back to see the tears falling down his face- it would be like looking in a mirror, for all that they weren't identical twins.
She'd never get to see him again.
Her Ben.
(From behind them all, two figures smiled sadly as they gazed at their living loved ones. A young man, with a scar over his eye, put a hand on his Master's shoulder and whispered quiet thanks. His Master, an older human, yet younger than either twin remembered, blinked back tears and smiled, raising his own hand to rest on his padawans.)