Archive of Our Own ^beta

It takes exactly two minutes for Hoseok to grab napkins and ketchup near the condiments, but it only takes one for his seat to be stolen.

He’s sure his burger is still at his end of the table, and he’d even left the chair pushed out at an angle just enough to barely become a fire hazard, evidence enough that someone was definitely sitting there. If he learned anything from the horrors of high school, it was knowing when his seat was stolen without permission by a stranger in the Larkburger uniform with a backpack slung on one shoulder, as if just arriving for his shift. But it doesn’t really bother him, not really, because lunch with Yoongi and Namjoon was a regular thing. 

Out of embarrassment, he kind of hopes he hadn’t left the seat uncomfortably warm.

The idea had been Namjoon’s to go to the burger joint just outside of campus for lunch, mostly out of pity because Jimin, who had an eleven to six shift today, had sent a number of pleading texts asking to save him from the godawful singing of one of his coworkers (Jiho was no reggae singer, but he seemed to think otherwise) and the blast of air conditioning that made his nose stuffy. 

The Rush swept through just after they ordered their food, to their luck, but to Jimin’s dismay, the manager had ushered him back to work, sending him to the back to bag the burgers while Jiho took orders. Hoseok made sure to pull him into a head lock over the counter teasingly before grabbing their tray of food and hopping off the counter.

Now Hoseok has a pile of napkins in his hand on his way back to the table - an embarrassingly tall stack because he’s a poor college student in need of something to wipe his mouth that isn’t a roll of toilet paper. Although there’s a chance no one would mind, Hoseok is sure there’s written document that guys who use toilet paper for napkins are immediately stripped of their man points. On the plus side, the napkins are one hundred percent recycled, and maybe his future significant other will dig that. 

Just as he’s about to reach their table, the stranger stands with his backpack and waves a goodbye, walking in the opposite direction and disappearing to the back. Hoseok stuffs the pile of napkins in his pockets, feigning casualty as he passes through the tables. It’s embarrassing enough that he’s stealing them behind the employees’ backs with the exception of Jimin, but getting caught by everyone else would definitely add to the humiliation and hinder his pride. 

“Who was that?” Hoseok asks with a raised brow, plopping down in his seat. It’s warm, and yes, uncomfortably so.

“That’s Jimin’s best bud,” Namjoon responds around a mixed mouthful of hamburger, fries, and soda like some kind of human blender. Namjoon always argued that the flavors were meant to be eaten all together since they complimented each other. Hoseok’s theory is that Namjoon had an alter ego named Food Monster. “You know, the one that climbed out their window using a blanket and sprained his ankle? That one.”

“Kim Taehyung?” Hoseok asks, amused because really, he’s far more attractive than Hoseok had ever envisioned whenever Jimin told stories about Kim Taehyung who’d climbed out their window using a blanket and sprained his ankle, the same Kim Taehyung who’d came home smashed one night and slept with his underwear over his head to keep the hangovers away. 

“That’s him,” Yoongi responds. “He’s a fucking idiot sometimes, but he’s a good kid. Really.”

“Well, he is Jimin’s best friend, so. That must mean something, right?” Hoseok shrugs, unwrapping his burger and lifting the top bun. There’s meat in the burger, a clear sign that his order was wrong because he'd strictly gotten the tuna burger as a result to watching his weight. Being a lifeguard meant going to work shirtless and standing in the public eye half naked for hours on end. But being a lifeguard trying to catch the eye of another - very attractive - lifeguard that worked at the same pool meant eating lightly and hitting the dance studio regularly, five times a week. 

Hoseok is that kind of guy.

“Damn it, I think I grabbed someone else’s order,” Hoseok says, snatching the brown bag and scanning the receipt taped at the front. “I didn’t order the Original. Someone else ordered the Original.”

Namjoon sighs at his passive whining, “I’m going to be the Honest Ass here and say that I don’t understand why you need to go on a diet and watch your image. Seokjin won’t notice you anymore than he already hasn’t as anything more than coworkers and acquaintances.”

“Ouch,” Hoseok frowns, leaning back with his hand over his chest, feigning offense. “Shit, don’t be such a sourpuss. And anyway, I saw him checking out that one guy that always comes to do laps. I mean, he has an eight pack and looks like a fucking, I don’t know, like a Coke bottle or something.”

Namjoon squints, “You’re already skinny and muscular though. I’d fuck you, okay? I would. And that guy sounds like the definition of a douchebag.”

Yoongi rolls his eyes and sighs, raising a hand between them. “Okay, shut the fuck up and stop bickering,” he says, looking at the both them with irritated eyes. Yoongi nods towards the counter. “Just go tell them your order is wrong. There’s no one in line right now.”

Hoseok sighs, wrapping the burger back up and stuffing it in the bag before heading over. 

He doesn’t want to sound like a teenage girl, but something told him he wasn’t just doing this to get Seokjin’s attention. Rather it’s to prove to himself he was worth someone’s, anyone’s, attention at all. If there was one flaw Hoseok grew up with since he was a child, it was his insecurities about his physical image. Being his closest friends, he knows Namjoon and Yoongi can see that too.

There’s no one at the counter when Hoseok walks up and sets the bag on the countertop, receipt in hand as he looks around for Jimin. Hoseok spots Jimin’s familiar black head of hair through the window of the kitchen, moving around back and forth as he gives Jiho a hand. Hoseok takes this chance and raises his hand quickly to catch his attention, but just as he leans forward over the register, another head of brown hair blocks his view as someone straightens up from below the counter, startling him backwards.

“Oh hey, sorry,” the guy says, and Hoseok sees that it’s Taehyung. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you. I mean, unless I did? Then boo.”

“What the fuck were you doing down there?” Hoseok breathes,  slightly spooked and trying to compose himself. He relaxes his palms and releases the crumpled receipt, smoothing it out on the counter. 

“Just grabbing a spare pen from my boot,” he responds, tucking the pen behind his ear and smiling meekly. Hoseok will discover later that Taehyung had worn Dr. Martens to work. At a Larkburger. “Got it now.”

Hoseok stares for a second, wondering who exactly kept spare pens in their boots because surely that couldn’t be comfortable. He remembers back in high school when he walked around  the entire school year with a coin in his right shoe. It had given him such bad back pains that he almost let Namjoon convince him he was aging backwards and was actually Benjamin Button. But high school Hoseok also thought sunshine could be trapped in jars.

“What can I help you with?” Taehyung asks after a long moment of silence, breaking Hoseok’s train of thought. “I’m pretty good at english, but not really, so don’t ask me about that. Or math.”

“Yeah, right, sorry,” Hoseok says, shaking his head and fidgeting for the receipt. He doesn’t plan on asking for help on english or math from a stranger. “So I think I grabbed the wrong bag? This isn’t my order.”

Taehyung grabs the receipt from his hand and scans it over. “Um, what did you get?”

“The ahi tuna burger.”

“Oh, then that’s definitely not right, is it?” Taehyung says, laughing a little and folding the receipt. Hoseok can’t help but notice that Taehyung has a nice smile, wide and genuine, and it’s been awhile since he’s seen anyone besides Jimin with a smile that reached  all the way up to his eyes, too. “Lucky for you, someone just came up with what I’m guessing is your order. Let me go grab it before they toss it out.” 

Hoseok watches him retreat to the back, emerging shortly after with a brown bag and a box of fries. 

“Here’s your baby and a little something extra since we didn’t deliver them to the right parents,” Taehyung says, handing the food over and grabbing the other bag off the counter. 

“Oh, no, you really don’t have to,” Hoseok says, grabbing his burger. “I probably won’t eat it.”

“Who eats burgers without fries?” Taehyung questions, cocking his head foreword and squinting. “No, wait, no. Who goes to a burger place, known for their burgers, and orders an ahi tuna instead? That’s like going to fucking Denny’s and ordering the steak.”

“Damn, I guess everyone unleashed their inner sass today,” Hoseok says, frowning at the comment but joking along nonetheless. Taehyung’s grin lets him know he’s only teasing. “I happen to be a healthy eater, excuse you! Rude Ass.” It’s true, and Hoseok can’t really remember the last time he ate a cookie or drank soda.

“Oh, like, gluten free, sugar free, purpose-of-living free? For what? You look great to me,” Taehyung comments, tilting his head to the side and leaning his hip against the counter. 

“That’s because I eat healthy.”

“Doubt it. Eating trees doesn't give you a face like that. Crawling out of your mother’s vagina does.” 

“Okay, wow, that escalated quickly,” Hoseok says and makes a face, but the absurdity of the comment makes him laugh as he shakes his head. Hoseok opens his mouth but shuts it again. Even though he’d brushed off the compliment, he still can’t hide the fact that it makes his stomach flip, like waves crashing against the caverns of his ribcage.

“Anyway, I’m gonna go back to my table,” Hoseok laughs, taking a step back and pointing towards Yoongi and Namjoon. 

“You do that,” Taehyung says, smiling and adjusting the cap of his uniform. 

“I’m Hoseok by the way,” he says quickly, pointing towards himself with the bag in his hand. 

“Taehyung.”

There’s a muffled cough from beside him, and Hoseok turns to face a forming line of customers, impatiently waiting for him to leave. When had this line formed anyway?

“Oh, fuck,” he mutters, moving aside all the way. “Sorry.”

Before Hoseok heads back to his seat, he glances back at Taehyung and reaches over to grab the box of fries laying on the counter, untouched. 

“I’ll take these.”

As he walks back to his table, he can feel Taehyung’s grins on his back, and he briefly wonders if maybe, the bright smile he greets the next customer with is actually meant for him.

“A little birdie named Yoongi tells me you held up the entire restaurant at our work the other day because you were too busy romancing Taehyung.”

Hoseok is in the middle of cleaning the kiddie pool when Jimin casually brings it up, holding his rescue tube in his lap and watching Hoseok struggle to grab a piece of what looks like a diaper at the opposite end, balancing carefully on the ledge. 

“God, did Yoongi also say I turned into Fabio and tore my shirt open?” Hoseok says, huffing and shaking his head unbelievably. Yoongi told Jimin everything. “Okay first of all, you’re using the ‘little bird’ idiom wrong. And second, I was not romancing anyone. I was kindly discussing the mixup of my order with someone that so happened to be Taehyung.”

“Idiom or not, you still held up the line talking to Tae,” Jimin says, wriggling his eyebrows above his sunglasses suggestively. “You, Jung Hoseok, who is constantly keeping us in-line and making sure we aren’t eating glue or rudely staring at people in public.” 

Jimin has a point, but Hoseok really doesn’t have an explanation for holding up the line (in his defense, why had they all snuck up on him so quietly?). So what if it was shameless flirting? It didn’t mean much of anything, and maybe Taehyung was just as talkative as him. There’s no harm in two talkative people having small talk - none at all - and he certainly doesn’t count the time during freshman year of college where he’d made out with a random stranger at a party after discussing the best lightbulb brands to use in bedrooms. Alcohol was the reason small talk had happened between them in the first place.

As Jimin sits perched up on the tall lifeguard chair, Hoseok takes a moment to examine his friend. He had always found it funny that Jimin, the one with the best body out of everyone in their circle of friends, was not a lifeguard and instead worked at a burger place that sold greasy foods and sugary drinks. And now, as Jimin sits in Hoseok’s seat with his rescue tube slung over his bare shoulder, sunglasses perched over the bridge of his nose with a layer of sunscreen coating his face (he doesn’t understand this, considering it’s cloudy out today), Hoseok can’t find one reason as to why Jimin wouldn’t want to be a lifeguard and join them at work. 

“He was trying to give me fries, and you know I don’t eat those,” Hoseok shrugs, stepping off the ledge and emptying the contents on the cleaning net over the trashcan. He glances around carefully. “Plus, you know I’m working on my body.”

“But you did eat them.”

“Well, I’d be a dick if I didn’t accept the free fries.” 

“You deny free fries from me all the time,” Jimin deadpans.

“That’s because I can be a dick to you and not feel too bad about it.” 

“Evil,” Jimin says, frowning. He leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees. “Well, I’ll have you know, Taehyung said the next time you come in, try the truffle burger instead.”

As Hoseok straightens up and wipes the beads of sweat that collect at his forehead with the back of his hand, he tries to hide the way the corners of his mouth twitch, threatening to spill an obvious smile that Jimin will easily be able to see through. He thinks that maybe, he’ll visit the burger place later during the week, to see Jimin at work and not because Taehyung worked the same days, different shifts.

Just as Hoseok is about to ask if Jimin worked Fridays, Seokjin walks past them to the crowded pool in all his broad-shouldered glory and stands at the foot of the lifeguard chair to switch shifts with Jeongguk. Hoseok’s mouth goes dry and he turns his head back to the kiddie pool, self-consciously staring down at his own chest and abdomen.

Hoseok throws on a shirt later when it’s his turn to watch. He tells everyone who asks that his skin had gotten sunburnt from the harsh rays of sunshine. 

Sunburnt, even on a cloudy day like this.

So of course, Hoseok convinces himself as he steps past the threshold into Larkburger, that he’s only there because it’s the closest and most convenient restaurant near the East side of campus - even if he had to take his car across the Commons to get there.

On top of that, there’s a chance Jimin might be working the afternoon shift today. In truth, Hoseok already knows his schedule, memorized like the back of his hand; Jimin always worked on Fridays, and he knew this. He’s starting to run out of excuses.

“Hey hyung,” Jimin greets him happily, crossing his arms over the small monitor screen and leaning forward. “Did you come by yourself?”

“Yeah, I’m heading over to the resource center right now to get some homework done. Figured I’d drop by and say hi,” Hosoek says, smiling and ruffling Jimin’s soft black hair. He subtly scans the restaurant for Taehyung, but he’s nowhere to be found. Hoseok pretends he doesn’t care.

“Did you want something to eat?” Jimin asks, jabbing his thumb towards the kitchen behind him. “Manager’s not here today, so I can sneak you a free burger like the badass I am.”

“Right,” Hoseok scoffs. He bites at his bottom lip. “Yeah, I uh, can I get the truffle burger. With fries?”

Jimin’s finger pauses over the screen, and he looks up at Hoseok with wide eyes, a knowing, mischievous smirk spreading it’s way across his face. 

“Truffle burger, huh?”

“Just shut up.”

On his way out the door, Hoseok hears approaching footsteps from behind, and he glances over his shoulder only to see Taehyung running towards him, backpack thumping behind him heavily. Hoseok thinks it sounds like a dead body, but upon closer look, he sees the tip of a yellow penny board with blue wheels. Fitting.

“Hey you,” Taehyung says, jogging to a halt beside him. “Didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Me neither,” Hoseok says, smiling wide to hide the fact that he’d driven all the way here from the opposite end of campus just to see him. But even he won’t admit that himself. “Did you just get off work?”

“No, I’m on my glorious forty-five minute lunch break,” Taehyung says, holding up a bag with what looks like a drawing of a dick on the cover. “Oh, and ignore this. Jimin likes to leave lovely drawings on my lunch bags. He’s going to make a marvelous mother, really.”

“Aw, how cute,” Hoseok says jokingly, clutching a hand to his chest dramatically. “He even made sure to draw the left nut massively larger than the right like no one ever.”

Taehyung sighs heavily and stares at the drawing, holding the bag away from him. “Lucky aren’t I?”

“As lucky as they get.”

“I turned left on a one way street once,” Taehyung says absently. “I think that may have been luck. That, or I was just an idiot for not seeing the five ‘one way’ signs.”

“Or maybe you’re just a shortcut kind of guy,” Hoseok says, tilting his head as he considers the thought. Hoseok has done that once, back when his bangs reached his upper lip and his feet barely reached the end of his bed.

“Maybe,” Taehyung responds, scuffing the top of his shoe on the sidewalk. He nods at the bag in Hoseok’s hand that mirrors his own. “I see you're also indulging in lunch. Let’s grub together.”

They end up eating near the playground, the idle sound of children giggling and shoes trudging back and forth in sand filling the background as Taehyung tells him about boring lectures in his music theory class and how no one actually understands half the things they’re learning. Hoseok notices that Taehyung has a habit of smoothing his bangs down whenever there’s a pause of silence. He thinks he does this out of nervousness, but Hoseok has only really known Taehyung for about an hour, so he can’t put a story to his face just yet. 

At one point, Hoseok finds himself ranting about the diluted coffee served in the cafe just outside of the library - Taehyung knows exactly which one - and how the much needed caffeine does nothing for him and his wallet around finals time. Taehyung would rest his chin in his palm and listen attentively, small smile on his face as he nodded along while Hoseok described the horrors from sophomore year when he’d fallen asleep halfway through lab and ended up passing the class with a B anyway. 

Hoseok likes the way Taehyung listens to him, all open ears and gentle eyes that Hoseok finds himself talking nonsense just for the excuse of watching Taehyung watch him.

And Taehyung, unlike Jimin, doesn’t smirk at him mockingly when Hoseok tells him he ordered the truffle burger, just as Taehyung had suggested. Instead Taehyung smiles like a thousand suns and knocks what’s left of their burgers together.

“Cheers,” Taehyung says, and their knees bump under the picnic table like fragile cups made from the thinnest glass. “To a great meal and a beautiful lunch break.”

“I seriously can’t believe she broke the slide.” 

Work is a bit stressful today, and Hoseok thinks it’s just their luck that the second they open the small slide on the diving end of the pool, the first person who slides down thrusts herself too roughly into the entrance and ends up cracking a fraction of the plastic. 

Yoongi seems to be the most disgruntled about this because he knows they'll be hearing about it from the manager. 

“Really, though. Who even goes down a slide so hard the thing fucking cracks in half?” Yoongi says disbelievingly, crossing his arms and leaning back in the high chair. 

“I think she might've mistaken the slide for a catapult,” Jimin adds, trying to lighten the mood, but mostly trying to keep Yoongi from slapping people wildly with his rescue tube. Yoongi is small, but he’s also a hothead, which is exactly why his harbored emotions exploded easily.

They’re all standing around the counter near the lockers and showers, Hoseok leaning his elbows on the surface near Jimin’s waist, who’s sitting on top of the counter next to Yoongi. Namjoon had taken it upon himself to try and do something about the slide before the owners of the property needed to throw down a few hundred just to replace it, taking pity and full responsibility for the accident. Namjoon is both a genius and a dork, and Hoseok hopes he’s doing something good and not painting the slide red to cover the obvious crack.

“It wasn’t our fault though,” Hoseok tries, grabbing a pen and twirling it between his fingers. He briefly thinks of tucking it behind his ear like Taehyung always did. “She would've blasted herself down the slide anyway, guard or not. I mean, unless we put up a sign that says ‘don’t fucking catapult down this slide’.”

Yoongi scoffs. “If I owned this pool, I would put up ten of those signs.” He rests his head on Jimin’s leg, pressing his cheek against the thigh and groaning quietly into Jimin’s black swim shorts. 

“Don’t worry so much,” Jimin reassures, threading his fingers through Yoongi’s scarlet colored hair. Jimin is the exception to Yoongi’s temper, Hoseok thinks, the only one allowed to touch him when he’s even the slightest bit aggravated. Hoseok figures they balance each other out. “Hoseok’s right, it’s not your guys’ fault.”

“Yeah, I know,” Yoongi says, exhaling and running palms down his face. “We’ll deal with it when we deal with it.”

No one says anything after that, Yoongi’s words a conclusion to the conversation. Hoseok takes this chance to watch Seokjin perched up on the tall lifeguard chair, eyes hidden behind sunglasses as he sits calmly with his rescue tube laying across his lap. The sunlight catches his left leg as it rests beyond the boundaries of the umbrella’s shade, and Hoseok trails his gaze over the toned thigh. 

It’s both a blessing and a curse working with Seokjin as lifeguards. He gets to see Seokjin half naked for hours almost everyday, and although it’s a sight for sore eyes, Hoseok has to physically tear his eyes away each time he finds himself staring and pretend like he didn’t just imagine running his hands all over Seokjin’s torso.

“So,” Yoongi starts, interrupting Hoseok’s thoughts. He straightens up and looks at Hoseok with an unreadable expression. “Jimin tells me you went to Larkburger yesterday looking for Taehyung.”

“Do you guys just narrate my life over dinner dates or something?” Hoseok says incredulously, ears turning red from the embarrassment. 

“Maybe,” Jimin shrugs, and Hoseok looks at him with a raised brow. “Okay, sometimes? But that’s only when Yoongi isn’t-“

“-isn’t talking about new tracks I’m working on,” Yoongi finishes, giving Jimin a look of warning and nudging his leg with his elbow.

“Indirect TMI,” Hoseok frowns, trying not to ponder about what Jimin would have said. “And anyway, I went there because Taehyung happened to recommend something off the menu, not because I was looking for him.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” Jimin grins. 

“Remind me to never visit you at work again, you ungrateful little shit,” Hoseok says, jabbing a finger in Jimin’s side and watching him squirm ticklishly. 

“Hey, we have nothing against Taehyung,” Yoongi says, holding his palms up in defense. “I’m- we’re low-key all for it.”

Hoseok sighs and rolls his eyes slightly, “Good to know, I’ll keep your support in mind.”

Hoseok glances back at Seokjin again. He’s still watching the swimmers with unfazed concentration, sunglasses blocking half his face, but something in the way his head is cocked to the left towards their direction makes it hard to understand where his gaze is. 

When Hoseok looks away, he thinks he feels a pair of eyes on his back, but as he turns one last time to look at Seokjin, he’s already stepping down from the lifeguard chair and switching places with Jeongguk. Hoseok tries not to regret breaking his healthy eating streak after seeing their bodies.

As a child, Hoseok always envied Calvin and Hobbes and their unbreakable friendship and adventures. The last time he’d read a Calvin and Hobbes comic strip, he’d ended up wiping tears from his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt and sniffling loudly into tissues. Yoongi had shot up in his bed like the dead and threw a pillow at him from across the dorm room, telling him to “shut his face, it’s two in the fucking morning”.  

And although he doesn’t have a stuffed tiger to keep him company or squeeze him so hard his tears come out, he thinks Taehyung comes pretty close (or rather, he comes pretty close to being the Hobbes to Taehyung’s Calvin).

After lunch the other day at the playground, Hoseok gets Taehyung’s number from Jimin, as hindering as it is to his pride to see Jimin smirk teasingly without a word and hand over his phone. The first text is always the hardest, he thinks, but Taehyung is the type of texter that replies at the speed of light and gives up after the third, resorting to calling Hoseok instead to plan their next hang out. 

But the thing is that small talk essentially does not exist when it comes to Taehyung, and they end up staying on the line for three hours talking about glow-the-dark tattoos before Taehyung has to hang up and head to work. It’s okay, though, because Hoseok had been rolling around in bed during the entirety of the phone call, neglecting his open textbook and empty Word document save for his name in the upper right hand corner. It’s a good thing Taehyung hung up when he did.

Sometimes they grab coffee, and somehow Taehyung always convinces him to get the drinks that are most likely to give him a heart attack. Studying at coffee shops isn’t his ideal way of doing homework, but listening to the low register of Taehyung’s voice as he hums along softly to the music playing overhead is calming. He thinks it’s one of those things he wouldn't mind getting lost in. 

Hoseok isn’t much help when it comes to Taehyung’s music theory homework because it applies specifically to saxophone, which he has zero knowledge in. But he does what he can with his minor in audio production and his skills in Google.  

When Taehyung is busy scribbling down notes onto empty staff paper, Hoseok tilts his screen out of view and searches up the anatomy of the human hand because he can’t quite understand why his itches to slide over Taehyung’s palm and thread through long, thin fingers. So Hoseok exits out of the page and grabs Taehyung’s hand resting over his notebook and pulls out his pen to draw lines into his palm. He’s a terrible artist and an even worse pretender. He thinks Taehyung can see through his bluffing for the excuse of holding his hand by the way he smiles in his direction and turns back to work.

Hoseok goes to bed wide awake that night, staring at the palm of his outstretched hand, a replica of his own drawing pressed into the skin from gripping Taehyung’s hand under the table for so long, until his palms were sweaty and his chest was pounding the rhythms on Taehyung’s worksheets. Hoseok doesn’t memorize the anatomy of Taehyung’s hand or the spaces between his fingers, not yet, and he wants to.

But then, he realizes, he likes Seokjin, Seokjin with the broad shoulders and pretty eyes. Seokjin, the one he craved the attention of and longed to be noticed by. And Taehyung.

Well, Taehyung is just a friend.

Taehyung had entered his life like a glorious bruise that erupted across the pale, white skin of his chest, where the pain feels good because it’s pretty and so, so different against him.

But Hoseok is still a lifeguard, which entails coming to work everyday with a hot coworker like Seokjin. It reminds him of how much Hoseok wanted someone like Seokjin to notice him, someone as ideally perfect as Seokjin to enter into his life and stain his skin in purples and blues. And because Hoseok still works at the pool, he still works out fives days of the week, spending most nights in the dance studio until the janitor comes around to the recreational center to kick him out.

Something about the way the walls seem to cave in when he collapses to the floor in a tired heap, the rise and fall of his chest like waves crashing against the sand, is comforting even if it makes his head feel heavier than the weight on his shoulder when he looks into the mirror. It’s a lot like looking into the windows of Taehyung’s eyes whenever they’re together, pouring half the container of sugar into their coffee because they thought they could handle it black. When he looks at Taehyung, he sees an endless sea of hope, chance, confidence, like he could jump out of his seat and sing at the top of his lungs. 

He thinks he likes being alone until he’s looking at his own reflection in the mirrors of the dance studio. If they looked like Taehyung’s warm eyes, he could stare at himself until even he didn’t recognize the make-up of his own features. 

Hoseok throws an arm over his eyes to shield them from the  fluorescent lights on the ceiling. It’s like this lately, dancing till his bones feel like water and smoke, till his mind is drifting to Taehyung’s knobby knees and fragile wrists. The thing is, Taehyung coming to mind isn’t exactly intentional, and Hoseok has seen more than enough dramas to understand that it meant something entirely different from a drifting, wandering mind, because his mind wasn’t searching. It was running in circles and starting in the same spots, over and over like unpracticed habits. 

Hoseok shakes his head and forces it from his mind. Taehyung is a fluttering butterfly that would drift into his life and pass by, but Seokjin is someone he’s liked for almost a year now ever since he started his job last summer. Hoseok doesn’t really know, and maybe he’s just trying to convince himself of foolish things to get his mind away from Taehyung, but he thinks he loves Seokjin because Seokjin could make him love himself. Everything was fine up until Taehyung came into his life, and to solve the storm inside his chest, Hoseok is going to ask Seokjin out. The sooner, the better.

Just then, the janitor knocks on the window of the studio and tears him startlingly from his thoughts.

He says, “Time to go, kiddo.”

And Hoseok nods. “Yeah,” he says. “Time to go.”

“I fucking hate running. Why did I sign up for this.” 

It’s by random events that Hoseok, Jimin, and Yoongi end up meeting up in the morning to go for a jog near the river, but it’s by randomer events that Taehyung gets dragged along, hence the whining. 

“Oh, that’s right. I didn’t sign up this,” Taehyung says, glaring at Jimin and collapsing to the floor with his legs splayed out in front of him. 

Hoseok doesn’t normally workout with anyone besides Jimin, sometimes Jeongguk when he isn’t avoiding human interaction. The last person he’d think to go on a jog with is Yoongi. For one thing, Yoongi isn’t an active kind of guy, but he’s also a lifeguard (Hoseok till this day does not understand how he and Jimin had ended up career reversed), which meant they were required to keep up with some kind of workout regime to make sure they were even capable of saving lives when the time arrived. 

“Sorry, I’ll be a little late,” Jimin had said over the phone while Hoseok and Yoongi stretched near the car in the parking lot. “Taehyung’s coming along.” 

It turns out that Jimin had invited Taehyung along at the last minute, unplanned and spontaneous, dragging him out of his bed in their shared dorm to meet up with him and Yoongi. Hoseok is sure he’d heard the faint sound of a bullhorn followed by a heavy thump in the background before Jimin hung up the phone. He figures it’s the reason Taehyung had been a little grumpy at the beginning of the run, eyes half closed and barely awake. 

They’d shown up fifteen minutes late, Taehyung with the most impressive bedhead Hoseok had ever seen and his shorts on backwards.  Hoseok doesn’t doubt that he’d literally rolled out of bed only moments before, but the sight of Jimin pulling Taehyung by the wrist on his penny board is an adorable sight, and Hoseok forgets to feel bad. 

Only two miles and twenty minutes later, they finally decide to give Taehyung some mercy and take a quick water break down near the edge of the river. 

“Nope,” Taehyung says from his spot on the ground. “I refuse to run another inch. I’m neither a lifeguard nor am I a Jimin, therefore I’m walking to the car to grab my penny board.”

“Even then, you probably still wouldn’t be able to catch up,” Yoongi says, resting one hand on his hip and handing Jimin his bottle of water with the other. 

“You are the reason cancer has not been cured.”

“That literally makes no sense.”

“You probably also invented frowns and shitty days,” Taehyung adds.

“Give me another reason and I’ll give you a shitty day,” Yoongi says, raising a brow challengingly. 

“Let’s continue on with the day please,” Hoseok interrupts, looking at Jimin and rolling his eyes. 

Jimin decides then to toss his keys to Taehyung, watching as they bounce off his chest and fall into his hands, “Hurry up and go get your board before I show Hoseok your drunk photos from the other day.”

This seems to get Taehyung on his feet, glaring darts before shuffling off towards the parking lot, mumbling something under his breath.

“I’ll go with him,” Hoseok says, jogging off to catch up with Taeyung. He misses the way Jimin and Yoongi glance at each other, dirty grins on their faces as Hoseok disappears up the small hill to the car.

Getting Taehyung’s penny board takes far longer than anyone had expected because Taehyung, typical Taehyung, forgets where he and Jimin had parked that morning. They weave through the crowded lot of cars, full because it’s a sunny day and the perfect weather to head down to the river, and Taehyung won’t stop clicking the keys, determined to hear the beeping of their car, as if searching for treasure or a lost dog.

“Damn it, I could’ve sworn we parked it next to a blue Jeep with shitty cat stickers,” Taehyung sighs, hand shielding his eyes from the sun and clicking the keys in every direction possible. “Keep an eye out for the car that looks like it belongs to a cat worshipper.” 

“Is it obvious?” Hoseok asks, scanning the lot.

“Extremely. The entire back of the car is covered.”

Hoseok isn’t sure how long it takes, but when they finally hear the beep of the car, he thinks it’s a lot like finding fresh water in a dessert. The car is parked on the opposite end of where he and Yoongi had parked, and Hoseok honestly doesn’t understand why they were supposed to be looking out for the Jeep instead because Taehyung’s car, to put it simply, is tenfold more eye-catching than a few cat stickers. 

It doesn’t surprise him, not in the least, that Taehyung drove a yellow mini cooper to match his penny board.

“Fucking finally,” Taehyung groans in relief, opening the trunk excitedly and grabbing his board from his backpack, the colors almost blinding as sunlight reflected off all the yellow.

“Yellow is your favorite color?” Hoseok states more than asks, watching Taehyung slam the trunk closed.

“This was my mom’s car,” Taehyung says, patting the top of the car gently. “She moved onto bigger and better things, aka, cows because my family moved to a farm in the countryside. I wasn’t about to object a free car.”

Taehyung locks the car doors with yet another beep, turning towards Hoseok and holding up the penny board, “And this, Jimin bought me specifically because it matched my minion of a car. My old one broke in half after I tried grinding a rail on my grey penny board.”

“It fits you,” Hoseok says, patting the surface of the board. He wants to tell Taehyung that yellow represents happiness and warmth, that each time he watched Taehyung smile, he saw sunshine on new mornings and reflections on the beach. Instead he says, “Yellow is a fun color.”

Hoseok had taken a color theory class once in high school, but he isn’t sure if this feeling is from the textbooks or reality.

On the way back, Taehyung holds his penny board at his side and stays on foot because Hoseok doesn’t want to jog until they meet back up with the others. It’s okay because sometimes their knuckles will brush without anyone acknowledging it, because he walks so close to Taehyung’s side that their shoulders bump. There’s no commitment or obligations, and the ease of being with Taehyung makes him fall just a little harder, even if he won’t believe it himself.

When they finally walk down to the riverside, Hoseok glances around and spots nothing but a few picnic benches and a family further down to the right. He calls out a few times, but no one responds. 

Jimin and Yoongi are nowhere to be found. No note, no text, nothing. Hoseok frowns at the realization that one, he’d been set up, or two, Yoongi and Jimin had run off on their own to do the Deed. Both scenarios are equally as displeasing, but he has a strong feeling it’s the former.

“They ditched us,” Taehyung says casually, looking around. “Bet you five dollars they went to fuck in the bushes.”

“It’s so obvious that it can’t even be a bet,” Hoseok responds, keeping the first, more than likely, option to himself because Taehyung did not need to know that their friends were trying to set them up. The more oblivious, the better.

“It’s only been like, an hour and a half,” Taehyung says, glancing at his phone. “I had more faith in their ability to wait.”

“I didn’t,” Hoseok sighs, wiping sweat from his forehead. “Typical.”

“Well, let’s get ice cream then?” Taeyung suggests, lifting his hand and dabbing the back of it along Hoseok’s forehead and temple. From here, Hoseok can see each and every blemish that decorates Taehyung’s face, like ink that bleeds into the white pages of a notebook, right before they stain everything else with its footprints, the long eyelashes that flutter in the same way Taehyung’s fingertips brush his cheekbones. Hoseok wants to kiss him, but he knows he shouldn’t when he’s in-like with someone else. 

Not when he doesn’t memorize the anatomy of Taehyung’s hands. Not yet.

Hoseok finally nods when Taehyung retracts his hand, reality suddenly rushing back and reminding him that this is not A Moment. He nods again for good measure, but mostly to shake himself of his thoughts because he doesn’t want to deal with his heart when it’s heavy.

“Yeah,” he says. “Let’s get some ice cream.”

They walk to the nearest ice cream parlor they can find, which ends up being a shady little store at the end of the street, neighbored by a liquor store that doesn’t really look like they sell liquor and a souvenir shop with dildos in the display. 

On the way throughout the city, Taehyung had grabbed his wrist and hopped on his penny board, the same image he’d seen when he and Jimin met up with them this morning. Hoseok takes pride in the fact that it’s his wrist he’s holding this time and compliantly drags Taehyung through the throng of people.

“Since this is a souvenir shop for tourists, are those dildos supposed to represent the country or,” Taehyung drawls, squinting in confusion at the random array of various dildos. 

They’re standing in front of the souvenir shop with the ice cream cones in hand. Hoseok wants to understand the display, but the concept is lost on him, and he takes to watching their reflection instead.

“Honestly how is this place still in business,” Hoseok asks, swiping his tongue on his ice cream. 

“I think there’s an all-girl’s university nearby,” Taehyung says, wiping his thumb at the corner of his mouth. “I rest my case.”

“Touche.” 

There’s a long pause, nothing but the sound of Hoseok’s cone breaking as he bites into the breading. Hoseok thinks they must be an interesting sight: two boys eating ice cream in front of a dildo display. That is, if there were any onlookers to begin with. They’d taken a random turn from the main street and ended up in this strip, devoid of any shoppers. If it were nighttime, Hoseok is sure he’d be skeptical of their safety. 

“Have you,” Taehyung starts, breaking the silence timidly. He glances at Hoseok, who’s nothing but expectant as Taehyung hesitates, mouth open slightly. “You’ve given blowjobs before, right?”

The question catches him completely off-guard, not that he was expecting much, which is exactly why his mind reels for a few seconds. Hoseok almost asks Taehyung to repeat himself had he potentially heard him wrong, but the sudden darkness that seems to cloud Taehyung’s eyes tells him otherwise, that there’s no other question in the world he meant to ask but this one. 

“Um,” Hoseok coughs, chewing down pieces of the cone in his mouth. “A few times, yeah. To be completely honest, I’ve probably received more than I’ve given.”

“Hm,” is all Taehyung replies, but when Hoseok turns to look at him, Taehyung is staring at him with a look he does not understand. It’s only now that Hoseok realizes exactly why he’d been avoiding eye contact with Taehyung this entire time. The way Taehyung is licking his ice cream with slow, deliberate movements makes it hard to look away and does things to his increasingly racing pulse, to the tingles that head south. Taehyung doesn’t tear his gaze away, not for a second, keeping his eyes locked on his. Hoseok swallows down the lump in his throat. 

But Hoseok is a sucker for pretty mouths, so he sits back and enjoys the show.

Taehyung smooths his tongue over the top of the ice cream, flattening his tongue over the creamy surface and exhales a light laugh, the sound coming out breathy as he smiles open-mouthed. “Mm, this is so good,” he moans quietly, repeating the movement. 

Taehyung curls the tip of his tongue along the side, swiping some of the melted ice cream at the edges and coating his tongue white with vanilla. He swallows the melted flavor and peeks his tongue back out to trace along his upper lip wetly before trailing along the bottom, biting at the flesh and smirking ever so slightly at Hoseok with red lips. 

And it’s a little weird, he’ll admit, standing face to face with Taehyung as he ate his ice cream like he probably did in bed, but Hoseok feels heat throughout his body knowing Taehyung is doing this for him, his own private show, and he briefly wonders if the whole experience would be better had Taehyung been holding a dildo in his hands instead. He almost laughs at how ridiculous it would be, but then his mind decides to replace the thought of a dildo between Taehyung’s hands with himself instead, and suddenly everything rushes south.

It’s when Taehyung leans in for another lick, eyes half lidded with lust and something else that Hoseok doesn’t think he can just stand and watch with his arm at his side anymore. He knows he shouldn’t, that he should stop now, but the urge to have a taste of Taehyung’s mouth on his own is all he can think about. Not the pool, not the gym, not Seokjin, but Taehyung and his beautiful hands and lips. 

Hoseok reaches out to grab Taehyung by the wrist, wrapping fingers around gently and tugging him forward a little, dropping what’s left of his cone to the floor, forgotten. It falls to his feet and crumbles to pieces the same way his mind does when their eyes meet. 

Hoseok scans the area quickly to make sure there’s no one around before leaning in close and swiping his tongue along Taehyung’s ice cream, watching him with each movement to understand what made him shake. The way their tongues slide together over the icy surface, cold yet hot all at once, brings a sigh to his lips he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. Their tongues tangle over each other when they both lick to the top, fighting for dominance as ice cream starts dribbling down the side of Taehyung’s mouth. Hoseok tilts his chin up every so often to capture Taehyung’s lips against his own, and he relishes in the feeling of their lips meeting for the first, second, third time. He’d imagined to be much simpler, but it’s sloppy and heated, and Taehyung has some vanilla ice cream on his chin that Hoseok cleans off with breathy kisses. 

Hoseok thinks Taehyung’s mouth tastes delicious, and it’s not because the ice cream. It’s a little perfect, Hoseok thinks, that reality just faded into the background when he was with Taehyung, like the city in empty apartments, the rush of life passing through open windows even at two in the morning. 

Eventually Taehyung grabs his hand and drags him through the streets, Hoseok pressed close behind and watching the way Taehyung’s fingers curl around his bony wrist like a summertime breeze. The few blocks it takes to get to Taehyung’s car (which is closest) feels like a century, but when the car beeps and unlocks, Taehyung pushes him into the backseat until his back presses against the opposite door and climbs closely between his legs in the tight space. Mini coopers weren’t called mini coopers for nothing, and they definitely weren’t meant for blowjobs. 

Taehyung crawls as far down as he can between his thighs, hovering over Hoseok’s waist. He quickly starts working at the drawstrings of Hoseok’s joggers, but pauses to smirk up at him, pressing a finger to his mouth and indicating for him to be quiet. Hoseok hadn’t planned on being loud anyway, let alone be caught receiving a blowjob in the backseat of a yellow mini cooper in broad daylight. There were families and children at this river, for christ’s sake, but Taehyung is everything Hoseok wants in this moment, and he isn’t going to back out now. 

When Taehyung finally goes down on him, Hoseok watches with every ounce of attention he can conjure with his hazy mind, trying to sustain himself even from blinking. He watches the way Taehyung looks up at him under his eyelashes when he swallows him down deep, the way he moans breathily each time he pulls off to suck along the sides until he’s tonguing at the slit, the way Taehyung grabs his hand to press his palm against the trapped heat between his legs. Hoseok gives him mercy and instead slides his hand past the waistband of Taehyung’s running shorts and boxers and palms him raw until Taehyung is grinding himself against his spit-slicked hand.

Hoseok ushers Taehyung to come first, whispering encouragements wantonly in his ear when Taehyung pulls off and rests his forehead against Hoseok’s shoulder instead, using both his hands to jerk him off. Hoseok follows shortly after, coming so hard he leaves faint bruises long Taehyung’s forearm from gripping him firmly. 

It’s long after, when they’re done and laying in each other’s arms, when Taehyung leans up to kiss him that Hoseok realizes he’s scared to love someone like Taehyung. Scared, because for once, someone wanted him and not the other way around.

“You do know,” Hoseok starts, and he tries his best to make this lie believable, even to himself. “That this is just a casual thing right?”

He misses the way Taehyung’s face falls, hidden as he presses it deeper into Hoseok’s chest, trying to reach in and hold his fragile heart. But he can’t, not yet, because Hoseok can’t reach it either. 

“Yeah,” Taehyung says and pulls away. “It doesn’t mean a thing.”

Hoseok visits Taehyung at work whenever he doesn’t have papers to write or people to save. He likes to think he’s some kind of a superhero, but he hasn’t exactly gotten around to saving anyone, not yet. Vice versa, Taehyung hasn’t ever swung by the pool, but it’s okay. He can’t even begin to imagine Taehyung and Seokjin being in the same vicinity.

But as fate has it, Jimin’s familiar face is entering the pool gates while Hoseok is on guard today. Following close behind is Taehyung, and Hoseok almost falls off his high chair and drowns from surprise. 

“What are you guys doing here?” Hoseok finally asks when he’s done with the first rotation of guard duty, practically sprinting off to confront Jimin. 

Jimin and Taehyung are sitting beside the pool on their towels, a bag of what looks like ten more bags of gummie worms in Taehyung’s lap, all of which are opened and none of them remotely close to being finished. 

“Just watching you guys suffer since we both got off early today,” Jimin says casually, shrugging a shoulder before looking up at Hoseok and grinning. Taehyung seems to be occupied with the candy and doesn’t look at him once.

It’s been awhile since he last saw Taehyung, the last time being the time they went jogging with Jimin and Yoongi. After the conversation in the car, Taehyung had pulled off of him completely and climbed out of the door, putting on a smile and pretending to enjoy the nice weather like nothing had happened, like Hoseok hadn’t just friend zoned him after a blowjob. 

The way his smile doesn’t reach his eyes let’s Hoseok know he’d fucked up. They never actually find Jimin and Yoongi, so Hoseok heads to his car and Taehyung moves to the front of his own. They drive away in opposite directions, only a few short words exchanged, but Hoseok can’t help to wonder what the rest of the evening could have been like had he just let it happen.

Instead Taehyung avoids him and blames work and homework for not being able to hang out or talk. Hoseok isn’t allowed to have a problem with it. 

Seeing Taehyung here at the pool, Hoseok longs to reach out and grab him. It’s been so long since he last saw Taehyung’s beautiful face, and now that he’s here, Hoseok feels the weight of Taehyung’s absence from days of not seeing him. He realizes that-

“I missed you,” Hoseok blurts from his thoughts, biting his tongue after the words slip like syrup from his mouth. He feels his face heat up as blood rushes to his cheeks. “You guys. I missed you guys,” he tries to correct, but the way Taehyung finally looks up at him, eyes calm and knowing, tells him he’s been caught. 

“I just saw you the other day,” Jimin says, oblivious to the thick air that surrounds only him and Taehyung.

“Yeah, I know,” Hoseok says, smiling and ruffling Jimin’s hair. He glances at Taehyung, waiting for some kind of an acknowledgment. 

As Taehyung opens his mouth to speak, Hoseok suddenly feels an arm around his shoulders as the weight of someone’s chest is pressed against him. The person has a few inches on him and feels significantly heftier than Yoongi or Namjoon, so Hoseok turns curiously to see who had interrupted them. It’s Seokjin, and for the second time in the past five minutes, Hoseok feels his face heat up and burn a bright red. 

Seokjin has never once laid a hand on him, let alone gotten this close, and Hoseok feels his heart racing in his chest. He can’t tell if it’s because Seokjin is all over him for the first time or the way Taehyung is looking at him, confusion and something else he can’t quite pinpoint painting his expression. 

“Hey, Hoseok,” Seokjin starts, turning to smile and Hoseok feels like backing up a little. He’d always wanted Seokjin this close, but all he wants right now is to put some space between them. “We’re throwing a party over at Farren Hall tonight. “You’re more than welcome to join.”

“I, uh,” Hoseok says, stumbling over his words. Jimin’s eyes are encouraging, urging him to accept the invitation. “Yeah. Yeah sure, I’ll be there.” 

Similar to Yoongi and Namjoon, Jimin also knew about his little crush on Seokjin and his goals to get his attention. Now with Seokjin embracing him with his arm, Hoseok can see that Jimin is just as surprised as he is. But the excitement of a year’s worth of longing is lost on Taehyung, who doesn’t know who Seokjin is to begin with.

“Great,” Seokjin smiles, pulling back a little and squeezing his shoulder. “You guys are invited, too. Invite your friends!”

“Yeah, I’ll call my parents later,” Taehyung responds jokingly. “They’re really cool.”

“If you're any indication, they probably aren’t” Jimin deadpans. When Taehyung looks at him, offense flashing across his features as his jaw drops, Jimin caves and throws his arm around Taehyung’s shoulders, mirroring Hoseok and Seokjin.  “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I love your parents. Why else do you think I come over for the holidays?”

“For me,” Taehyung scoffs like it’s obvious. They turn back to Seokjin, and Taehyung flashes a thumb’s up. “We’ll be there. Time to get smashed and forget our own names and where we last put our pants, woo!”

“Right,” Seokjin says, slightly overwhelmed at the dynamic that is Jimin and Taehyung. He nods again, turning to look Hoseok in the eyes and smiles like they’ve just made some kind of promise. “I’ll see you there. Farren Hall, don’t forget!”

After Seokjin disappears into the back, Jimin kicks him lightly against his ankle, wriggling his eyebrows. Hoseok’s face is still burning, and he pretends to shield his eyes from the sun to cover half his face.

“Shut up,” Hoseok sighs, running the hand down his face. “Just shut up.”

Before Jimin can make another smart remark, Yoongi is shouting for his help somewhere near the slide. Being the human sized puppy he is, Jimin jumps to his feet, not before wriggling his brows at Hoseok once more, and runs off towards Yoongi (“Hey, don’t you fucking run or you’re going to slip and fall like the last time!”). 

Hoseok stands awkwardly near Taehyung, hovering over him as he sits crisscrossed on the floor. He thinks he should be ecstatic, bouncing off the walls from finally getting Seokjin to notice him after a year’s worth of effort. This is him finally getting his foot through the door, yet he can’t help but feel like it’s the wrong one, like walking into a room and forgetting why you’re there in the first place. 

“So,” Hoseok begins, but Taehyung cuts him off.

“You like him?” he says calmly, looking up at Hoseok and shielding his eyes from the sun with one hand. 

As if on autopilot, Hoseok shakes his head. “No,” he says. “I don’t. He’s just a coworker. We work together.” 

Hoseok is aware he sounds like an idiot right now, stumbling over his own words and repeating them in different patterns, but Taehyung just stares at him for a long moment, gaze not faltering. Taehyung drops his hand and turns to gaze fixedly out at the pool, as if staring out at the ocean and wondering how far it stretched. Hoseok thinks he looks peaceful like this.

He knows things aren’t okay between them, not yet, but Hoseok takes a seat next to Taehyung anyway and stares out into forever.

“Okay,” is all Taehyung says.

The party, in essence, is wild.

The second Hoseok, Yoongi, and Namjoon arrive - by foot because their dorm hall is within walking distance - there’s already people laying face first on the lawn, topless, surrounded by scattered solo cups and bottles. Others are along the sides or in shady corners, pressed close and swallowing each other’s tongues. The music is thumping pretty loud, and Hoseok is sure he could hear it from their room a few blocks down.

Seokjin isn’t hard to spot, even in the dark lighting of the room. His tall and handsome build is easy to recognize from where he stands in the throng of people near the living room, playing drinking games of all kinds as people cheer loudly. Bodies press tight against his as he maneuvers himself through the entrance, sweat-slicked and heavy against his arms, back, chest, and he’s already lost Yoongi and Namjoon in the crowd. He struggles to get past a girl that’s long gone by now, twisting her hips in attempts to hit the beat of the music, but it’s all off and some of the alcohol in her hand barely misses him  as he pushes past. 

Thankfully Seokjin spots him struggling and meets him halfway, grabbing him by the wrist and pulling him to the table where two teams are engaged in an intense game of Flip Cup. Hoseok recognizes a few of them as Jiho, Jimin and Taehyung’s reggae-singing coworker, Park Kyung, resident playboy in town, and Kim Yukwon, a fellow dancer in the school’s underground dance team. There’s a few others he knows by face, but can’t remember by name. 

“Glad you came,” Seokjin says near his ear, the smell of alcohol tickling across his cheekbones. 

“Of course,” Hoseok shouts back, flushing when he turns and Seokjin is much closer than he thought. “Wouldn’t give up free alcohol for the world.”

“Oh, I see how it is!” Seokjin laughs, resting a hand on the small of his back. “Using me for alcohol, huh?”

“And good music?” Hoseok says meekly, grinning.

“Is that a compliment?”

“Yeah,” Hoseok says, shrugging. “Let’s call it that.”

Seokjin laughs again, locking gazes with Hoseok for a long moment. “Stay here,” he says. “I’ll get you a drink.”

Two solo cups in and Hoseok is already feeling lightheaded, head fuzzy as the music shaking through his bones begins to fade into background noise. Seokjin is still pressed close to him, and Hoseok’s throat is starting to feel sore from cheering so loud as they watch the Drinking Olympics. 

But even with a dizzy mind, Hoseok can’t seem to understand why Seokjin decided now to make a move on him. He knows Seokjin is too nice of a person to be scheming something or just simply trying to get in his pants, so he rules that out of his suspicion. He can’t help but think someone had spilled the beans about him crushing on Seokjin for the past year. It’s embarrassing, but he can’t find himself feeling too ashamed because the way Seokjin has an arm hanging loosely around his waist, well, it doesn’t make his stomach flutter with butterflies or send shivers all throughout his body. It confuses him so much that any sense of embarrassment he has from Seokjin finding out about his raging crush is buried, like unease on birthdays because aging is never a good feeling. 

Just then, Hoseok spots Yoongi from the corner of his eye with Jimin, bodies moving languidly against each other to the music, lost in their own world even in a crowd of partying college students. It’s nice, he thinks, how the right people can make you forget everything around you, like discovering hidden bookstores in the city. Seokjin is gorgeous, he’s nice, he’s gentle, he’s everything, but he’s not. All at once. Seokjin does not make him forget reality or this wild party they’re in the center of, but maybe, Hoseok reasons, it’s the alcohol speaking.

Before he tears his gaze from Jimin and Yoongi, Hoseok sees Taehyung’s familiar head of hair in the corner of his eye. Taehyung is wearing the baseball tee he always wore, the one he had on the day they got lost in the city, trying to look for the skate shop for Taehyung to get his penny board’s wheels replaced. By the time they’d gotten everything done and were ready to head back to campus, it was already midnight, and Taehyung had dragged him into the nearest gas station to buy M&M’s and icy drinks for the ride. He’d fallen asleep on Hoseok’s shoulder in the subway on the way back, his tongue blue and red and purple and hands cold like winter, so Hoseok wrapped their hands together and sighed. That time was the first where holding Taehyung’s hand felt familiar.

Hoseok watches as Taehyung ducks into the kitchen, disappearing past the doorway. He turns back to Seokjin and leans in to speak.

“I’m gonna go look for Namjoon real quick,” Hoseok shouts and pulls back.

“Yeah sure,” Seokjin says, nodding and dropping the arm that hangs around Hoseok’s waist. “Go ahead. I’ll see you in a bit!”

Hoseok nods, but he can’t guarantee that he’ll be back. The music is starting to feel too loud and the room too small. He’s not suffocating just yet, but he’s getting there. 

When Hoseok finally makes his way to the kitchen, he sets his cup down on the counter, full of liquor bottles and large party plates of finger foods. It’s much brighter here, and he can actually see inside his cup in this lighting. He blinks a few times to adjust to the brightness, and searches the room. Taehyung is nowhere to be found, so he makes his way through the dining area, scanning the place for a blue baseball tee. 

“Looking for me?” someone says near his ear, and Hoseok turns to see Taehyung standing behind him with one of the large plates in hand, enormous in comparison to his slender build. Chips and dip. 

“Kind of,” Hoseok replies. It’s nice that he doesn’t need to shout just for his voice to be heard. “I also needed to get out of there.”

“Me too,” Taehyung says, walking past him. “Let’s go outside.”

The cold night air is refreshing, like taking the first breath  of air off a fourteen hour plane ride. Hoseok inhales deep until his lungs are full and exhales slowly, stretching his arms out wide and collapsing into one of the chairs on the balcony. Taehyung sits beside him. The alcohol still makes his head heavy, but it’s wearing off now. He stopped drinking an hour ago after all. 

The sound of Taehyung munching on chips fills the silence between them, and Hoseok is grateful because he’s at a loss for words and doesn’t know what to say. All he knows is that Taehyung makes him feel something close to home whenever he’s around, even for a mere few seconds.

“Do you ever feel like you’re living underwater?” Taehyung asks between chips, plate laying in his lap. “Like your head is submerged and everything around you is just jumbled noise that’s drowning out  into static and you’re just drowning with it? I don’t know, like, you’ve swallowed so much water that you’re full.”

Hoseok nods and grabs a chip off the plate. It’s dark out on the balcony, and he doesn’t know if Taehyung can see his movements. “Everyday,” Hoseok answers instead. “At this point, I just throw back  the water like liquor.”

There’s a long pause, and Hoseok feels eyes at the side of his face in the darkness. When he turns, Taehyung drops his gaze to his shoulder. The way the moonlight illuminates his profile is like witnessing a thousand stars twinkling before his eyes.

“I went on a jog this morning,” Taehyung says, fiddling with the round edges of the plate. “By myself down near the river. I probably won’t do it again, but it was nice, you know? Remembering what it’s like to need to breathe. There’s so much talk about wasting water and what not, but sometimes we just forget to set our phones down and acknowledge our lungs for once.”

“Sometimes you just get so caught up in the swimming that you forget to surface,” Hoseok mutters, watching Taehyung as he gazes at the sky. “Like listening to the subtle nuances in a song each time you play it that you only ever recognize the song in pieces, not the whole.”

“Let’s put it into perspective,” Taehyung says, turning his head to face Hoseok. “Let’s go swimming.”

They end up at the community pool, Hoseok unlocking the gate with the copy of his key and turning the lights at the bottom of the pool on. The pool looks enormous when everyone’s gone home, and Hoseok can’t help but feel the slightest bit spooked by it. 

Taehyung is already kicking his shoes off and tugging his shirt over his head, revealing a tan torso dipping into a slim waist. Hoseok licks his lips and averts his eyes, setting his keys, wallet, and phone on the ground before following Taehyung and shedding each article of clothing one by one.

Taehyung is already lowering himself into the pool when Hoseok starts working on his belt, the night air raising bumps on his skin from the cold. Hoseok strips down to his boxers and moves to the side of the pool, taking a seat at the edge and dipping his legs in. Taehyung is floating on his back in front of him lazily. 

It’s after Hoseok kicks his foot in the water, soaking Taehyung completely, that he gets pulled into the water with him, the force of the pull making his head go under. They stay like this, tossing around in the water like two kids fighting for dominance, splashing water so hard it goes up their noses. 

At one point, Taehyung had clung to his back, wrapping legs around his waist and arms around his shoulders. The way Taehyung’s chest pressed wetly against his back had made his throat dry even in a pool of water, so Hoseok had distracted himself by attempting to swim laps with Taehyung wrapped around him. He’d accidentally butted Taehyung in the chin when he surfaced for air, but his head just barely missed his nose. If his manager found out he’d snuck into the pool at nearly three in the morning and gave someone a bloody nose in the pool, he’s sure his job as a lifeguard would be over in the blink of an eye.

Hoseok pulls himself out of the pool first, running to the back to grab towels for him and Taehyung. He drapes it around Taehyung’s shoulders when he finally climbs out, helping to dry his hair and trying not to notice the way his boxers clung to his lower half tightly. 

“Hold it close,” Hoseok had said, bundling Taehyung up in the towel to make sure he was warm. “Or you’ll get sick.” Hoseok had pulled out two lawns chairs for them to sit on, and Taehyung had collapsed beside him tiredly and closed his eyes. 

It’s strange being at the pool at night, staring up at the moon and the stars instead of basking in the sun. It’s his first time here at night, but he likes it. Nighttime at the pool brought a relaxation that the daytime just didn’t offer, especially from how crowded the pool got during this time of the year. 

“Hey,” Taehyung says, startling him from his thoughts. Hoseok turns to look at him. “Thanks. You know, for going along with this.”

Hoseok smiles, thinking back to the party and Seokjin, who’s probably waiting on him. He should feel sorry, but he doesn’t, not when Taehyung is staring at him with starlight in his eyes.

“Any time,” Hoseok responds, tightening the towel around his body. “And for the record, I needed it too.”

“So tell me,” Taehyung says, bending his legs at the knees. “Why are you longing after someone you don’t want to be with?”

The words strike Hoseok to the core,like a hammer to the head, and he bites on his bottom lip at the realization that he doesn’t know the answer to the question, nor will he deny it. At the end of the day, Hoseok just wanted to go to bed feeling happy in his own skin. 

“It’s complicated,” Hoseok resorts to saying. It’s also cliche, but it’s true.

The sound of the water swaying lightly and the filter roaring replaces their hushed voices for a few seconds as Hosek’s words drift off into the night. Taehyung sits up, kicking his feet to the side to face Hoseok. When he leans forward hesitantly until he’s mere centimeters away, Hoseok’s breath hitches in his throat, and he forgets how to breathe. 

“I’m sorry, I just,” Taehyung breathes, and Hoseok feels it more than he hears it. Taehyung finishes his sentence against Hoseok’s lips, pressing their mouths together and sighing through his nose as his hand finds purchase against Hoseok’s beating chest.  

Taehyung wriggles his way into Hoseok’s lap, straddling his waist on the narrow lawn chair and wrapping thin arms tightly around his neck as Hoseok nibbled on the flesh of his bottom lip. Hoseok’s hands slide their way down Taehyung’s sides, gripping his hips firmly and reaching one hand up to the back of Taehyung’s neck, pulling him down closer till their tongues tangled deliciously into each other’s mouths. 

Hoseok’s mind is spinning, and everything is happening so fast. The scene in the car with Taehyung working between his legs floods back into his mind, the hurt that had flashed across Taehyung’s face, and he shuts his eyes tight. He’s scared, to put it simply, that they’ll do this all too soon without him thinking it through and he’ll end up fucking up a second time. Hoseok doesn’t want to risk it because this time, their friendship is on the line.  

“Wait,” Hoseok mutters between kisses. “Wait, I just, I need to get back.”

Taehyung pulls back completely, face blank and lips swollen. “Oh,” he says quietly, and this is better, Hoseok thinks. Better than fucking Taehyung then having to tell him after. He doesn’t want to take advantage of Taehyung just because he didn’t understand his own heart. Hoseok has never been that selfish.

“No, I just, I told him I’d be back,” Hoseok says, sliding his hands off as Taehyung stands and pulls away completely. 

“No, I get it,” Taehyung says distantly, tugging his clothes on. Hoseok follows his movements, “I get it. Sorry.”

Before they part ways, Hoseok grabs Taehyung’s wrist and holds on in fear that he’ll float away. 

“I’ll see you again,” Hoseok says, this time with more confidence. 

And Taehyung smiles weakly, pulling his hand out of Hoseok’s grip and stuffing it into his pocket. 

He says, “Yeah.”

On his way back to the party that night, Hoseok had found Seokjin sitting on the front porch, party long over as five in the morning rolled around along with the sunrise. 

“Finally decided to come back?” Seokjin had joked, patting the spot beside him. 

“Sorry,” Hoseok responds and leaves it at that. He feels no obligation to explain himself.

“It’s all good,” Seokjin says, patting his knee. 

Hoseok stares down at the hand, tender and warm on his knee. “How did you… why are you only noticing me now?” Hoseok asks fowardly, curiosity lacing his voice. He’s tired of beating around the bushes.

“What do you mean?” Seokjin says, startled. “I just thought you were cute.”

“Suddenly after a year? Listen,” Hoseok starts, sighing and looking at Seokjin straight on. “I know someone told you about my crush on you, or you overheard a conversation, but. I don’t think I can do this.”

There’s a pause of hesitation.

“You’re right,” Seokjin finally says, scratching his temple. “I… overheard Namjoon and Yoongi talking about it awhile ago, and I guess I kind of felt bad. Didn’t consider doing anything about it until recently, but I figured I’d at least give it a shot.”

“That’s so embarrassing,” Hoseok groans into his palms, dropping his head. “This wasn’t supposed to happen, and that crush I had is so old, honestly. Just. Could you please forget about all of this?”

“Only if you promise you’ll be fine afterwards,” Seokjin says, and Hoseok knows whoever comes along to steal Seokjin’s heart will be a very lucky person. He can see it in his eyes. “And that we’ll be friends from now on.”

“Promise,” Hoseok agrees, twining their pinkies together and touching their thumbs. 

“I hope you know this means helping me clean up,” Seokjin says, glancing at Hoseok and grinning. “At least a little.”

“Deal,” Hoseok grins back, feeling the weight on his shoulders lift. “What are friends if you don’t suffer together, right?”

They don’t watch the sunrise together, but Hoseok is okay with that. He helps Seokjin throw solo cups into large trash bags, stepping around countless sleeping bodies and trying not to take pictures when he finds Yoongi and Jimin huddled close together on the couch, Jimin laying between his legs with his face against Yoongi’s chest. Hoseok grabs the small blanket hanging over the side of the couch and throws it over them.  

As he steps out into the morning, Hoseok sighs from deep within his chest. He never expected things to be like this, sitting side by side and talking to his former-crush like good friends, as if they’d been friends all along and not one-sided secret admirers. It’s natural now, and Hoseok doesn’t feel the need to act cool or to impress Seokjin anymore. It is all he could ever ask for, and for once, he feels comfortable in his own skin.

Now all he needed was Taehyung. 

“Hey you.”

It’s nearing seven in the morning when Hoseok finally arrives at Taehyung and Jimin’s shared dorm room, by foot because they’d left their car at their dorm hall. He’ll regret not getting any sleep later.

Taehyung opens the door, hair mussed up from laying on his side and one eye closed as he stares at Hoseok in confusion. His shirt lies dangerously off one shoulder, revealing a strip of his sharp collarbones as he stands in the doorway in only his boxers. 

“What are you…?” Taehyung starts, but Hoseok cuts him off with his lips and pushes him into the bedroom, shutting the door behind them with his foot.

Hoseok barely has his tongue past Taehyung’s lips before he’s getting his shirt pushed off, Taehyung’s eager hands sliding up the skin of his torso and scrunching his shirt around his arms. His palms are hot against his skin, and Hoseok absently covers Taehyung’s hands with his own. 

Hoseok pulls away to yank the shirt off, throwing it somewhere behind him. He tugs at the hem of Taehyung’s shirt.

“Off,” Hoseok urges, and Taehyung is quick to follow, sliding the shirt over his head and tossing it aside. 

Hoseok’s pants is the next to go, Taehyung already in his boxers and working at the button of his jeans. He kicks out of the denim, climbing back into bed and working a palm back between Taehyung’s legs, against the heat trapped there, reveling in the way Taehyung’s moans reach his ears like a symphony. 

“You know,” Taehyung breathes, tugging his earlobe between his teeth. “I’ve always had lukewarm feelings about you.”

“Is that a good thing?” Hoseok responds, pressing his cheek against Taehyung’s and palming a little harder.

“Yes,” Taehyung says. “Very good.”

Hoseok doesn’t have the patience for foreplay, so he doesn’t let Taehyung suck him off for long, briefly enjoying the way Taehyung’s pretty pink lips stretch around the head of his cock and swallow him down, bobbing between his legs until Hoseok is hitting the back of his throat. He nudges at Taehyung’s shoulders for him to stop and pushes him back against the pillows, kissing red lips and tasting himself on his tongue as he licks his way back into Taehyung’s mouth. 

After fetching the lube and condom from the nightstand, Hoseok works a finger into Taehyung after coating his fingers with a diligent amount of the lube. The way Taehyung easily takes the second, third makes his hips stutter with excitement, pre-come dribbling out of the tip from the sight of Taehyung naked below him with his legs spread wide, his digits disappearing into his body with each thrust of his fingers.

“Beautiful,” Hoseok whispers against the smooth skin of Taehyung’s inner thigh. Taehyung fucks down against the fingers deep inside him and moans loudly. “You have no idea how gorgeous you look right now, baby.”

The bed creaks noisily when Hoseok finally slides on the condom and thrusts into Taehyung’s tight heat, his mind going dizzy as he slides out slowly and thrusts back in, deeper this time with the changed angle, filling Taehyung up completely to the hilt. Taehyung pushes him by the shoulders until he’s sitting with his back against the wall and rides him so deep Hoseok has to press his mouth against Taehyung’s shoulder to suppress his moans, so hard he draws blood in rich crimson on the skin there. Taehyung whimpers at the small puncture wound and cards his hands through Hoseok’s scalp. He braces his palms against the wall, hands on each side of Hoseok’s head and rolls his hips down in such a way it rips a moan from Hoseok’s chest. Hoseok meets each of Taehyung’s downward thrusts with upward ones, knocking out whimpers from Taehyung’s throat and watching his face contort from pleasure. Even with his mouth halfway open and his nose scrunched up from the force of each thrust, Hoseok thinks Taehyung is breathtaking.

“Come,” Hoseok encourages between kisses, jerking Taehyung off in time with his thrusts and grinds. “Do it for me. I want to feel you tighten around my cock when you do.”

“Oh, fuck,” Taehyung cries out, pushing away from the wall and leaning back with his palms pressed into the mattress for more leverage. He grinds down against Hoseok’s cock, hitting all the right spots. “You feel so, so good. So deep-“ 

Hoseok crawls onto his knees, pushing Taehyung on his back and thrusting into him with stuttering hips as he nears the edge.

“I’m gonna come,” Taehyung warns seconds before his body starts trembling as his orgasm shakes deep within his bones, mouth dropping in a silent scream as he rides it out. Taehyung pulls off slowly and gets on his knees between Hoseok’s legs, peeling off the condom and tossing it into the trash bin at the side of the bed.

Hoseok watches with lidded eyes as Taehyung sucks him back into the tight heat of his mouth, swallowing down deeper each time. His fingers tangle through Taehyung’s soft hair. It doesn’t take much until Hoseok is coming into Taehyung’s mouth, hips jerking forward as Taehyung swallows every drop until his body twitches from the aftermath, oversensitive from the impact of his orgasm.

Hoseok helps clean Taehyung off before climbing back into bed and pulling him close, until they share the same air, until Hoseok is sure he can hear Taehyung’s heartbeat. Taehyung’s breath fanning across his Adam’s apple as he presses against his neck lulls him to sleep, and he idly rubs circles into Taehyung’s nape, thumb playing with the back of his hair. 

Hoseok is drifting in and out of sleep when Taehyung breaks the silence. 

“Why’d you come here so early?”

Hoseok laughs a little, grinning into Taehyung’s hair. “I haven’t slept yet,” he mumbles tiredly. “I needed to see you. Before I lost you.”

Taehyung glances up at him from his place on his chest. He says, “Why me?”

Before Hoseok falls asleep with his nose pressed into Taehyung’s silky hair, he smiles happily. This time it reaches his eyes. 

“I wanted to be myself for a change.”

Hoseok only gets an hour of sleep before Taehyung is rousing him awake.

When he opens his eyes, he sees Taehyung stumbling across the room, one pant leg on and grabbing at random pieces of clothing clumsily. Hoseok drops his head back down on the pillow and groans. He’s going to have to get used to this much noise so early in the morning.

“What are you doing, babe?” He asks, voice full of sleep as he snuggles deeper into the blankets and inhales. They smell like Taehyung. 

“I gotta go to work,” Taehyung replies, pulling his Larkburger uniform over his head and buttoning his pants properly. “Come with me.” 

“It’s too early.”

“Burgers for breakfast?” Taehyung tries.

Hoseok gives in and peeks an eye open, looking at Taehyung through his fuzzy vision. Taehyung looks like a big blob right now, but when his vision finally starts to clear, Hoseok sees the hopeful expression that decorates his face as he fixes his bangs in place. He sighs and drags himself out of bed. 

Hoseok grabs his shirt from the foot of the bed and holds it loosely in his hand as he moves to press his forehead to Taehyung’s, mumbling sleepily against his lips as he intertwines their hands together. Hoseok thinks it feels a lot like being underwater, everything around them drowned out and only the comfort of Taehyung’s lips against his own and the anatomy of his hand in his reminding him that this is real.

“Burgers for breakfast it is.”