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20th May, 2015
A Quick Update
I’m aware it’s been a while since I posted here, so bear with me. I’m going to try and be as succinct as possible here; I know most of you won’t read these if they’re more than a few paragraphs long! Must be something about my dry writing style or something. Sherlock says it’s because you’re all borderline illiterate and have the attention spans of amnesiac goldfish. I’m not sure who he’s trying to reassure there.
Firstly, to all those of you who asked about Bill, he’s fine. Don’t think he’ll be eating a full English breakfast for a few months, though! That’ll teach him to eat more fat than the Adipose (yes, Sherlock, I am only referencing Doctor Who to annoy you). Bill – I’m sorry we never got to go for that pint. I’ll text you as soon as I’ve finished typing this, which, as Sherlock can attest to, will take me quite a while, and we’ll go out later on this week. Not for a pint though, eh? Maybe a nice Greek salad!
Secondly, guess where I’m writing this from? I don’t think you’re going to get it. I’ll just tell you; I’m writing from Paris! Yes, I’m on holiday in the city of love, cuisine and really annoying know-it-all American tourists.
We’ve been here for four days now. I think I’m picking up a bit of French, but Sherlock is still having an inordinate amount of fun correcting everything I say. He told me I accidentally asked for condoms on my toast at the hotel the other day. That would explain the funny look the waiter gave me. So far, we’ve done all the main tourist attractions apart from the Eiffel Tower, which I don’t think is on the to-do list. Sherlock’s seen it about a hundred times and apparently he’ll be sick if he has to look at it one more time. I’m not going to risk it.
Today we visited a cemetery on the outskirts of the city where some of his relatives are buried, which is a bit of a morbid activity for a date if you ask me, but it was quite pleasant to stroll around the French countryside. I felt a bit like I’d retired, if that makes sense. Like there wasn’t anything really important to do. Well, there wasn’t. It was nice.
I feel as though I should point out that we actually came here for a case – someone e-mailed Sherlock about their missing grandmother. Turns out it was all an insurance scam, of course. These things always are. Part of me thinks that Sherlock knew it would turn out to be something like that but took the case because Mycroft promised to pay for the flights if he did, and no-one, not even Sherlock Holmes, is going to turn down a free trip to Paris. Unfortunately, Mycroft seems to have booked us into the most expensive hotel in the Northern hemisphere. I keep getting into lifts with bloody Sultans and Dukes and I feel a bit underdressed. I’ve taken to wearing my best navy jumper around the lobby just in case I run into them but I still feel like I might as well be wearing a binbag. Sherlock, naturally, fits right in. The bastard.
I have to sign off here as apparently we have ‘things to do’. Will update in the comments section!
53 comments
Paris?! John, if you come back to London wearing a ring on a certain finger, we are going to have words
Lestrade, May 20th, 17:53
He’s not going to propose! Bloody hell, Greg. If anyone’s well on the road to a blissful married life, it’s you.
John Watson, May 20th, 18:01
thats why i havent been able to get hold of you!!! its alright for some haha some of us are stuck in bed with the flu and an exwife who keeps calling and they cant even have a drink
Harry, May 20th, 18:21
sorry
Harry, May 20th, 18:22
I’m calling you from the hotel as soon as I get back.
John Watson, May 20th, 18:24
You seem to be under the impression that I did not know the true nature of the case. Tsk tsk, John. Enjoy the Louvre.
Mycroft Holmes, May 20th, 18:46
Why can’t I have a brother-in-law like Mycroft??
Lestrade, May 20th, 18:51
That would rather complicate things.
Mycroft Holmes, May 20th, 18:54
Paris? Lucky git! I’m with Harry on this one – I’m sitting at home watching re-runs of Top Gear and I can’t even have a beer! :) Have fun mate, see you soon – got your text by the way, next Saturday sounds good
Bill Murray, May 20th, 19:18
I am at the Louvre! I’m assuming Mycroft had something to do with this, seeing as it’s closed and we’re the only two buggers here. Feel a bit like I’m in the Da Vinci Code. If I see a dead body with weird symbols carved into it, I am leaving.
John Watson, May 20th, 19:25
He’s definitely proposing.
Sally Donovan, May 20th, 19:31
No, he isn’t. We are appreciating the art.
John Watson, May 20th, 19:34
The art of love. When you get married, who’s going to wear the dress? I think Sherlock would look lovely in white.
Anderson, May 20th, 19:40
You’re hilarious, Sally. You should have been a comedian.
John Watson, May 20th, 19:45
Or at least not a policewoman.
John Watson, May 20th, 19:47
That was a joke. You’re a good policewoman.
John Watson, May 20th, 19:48
I think I put my foot in it.
John Watson, May 20th, 19:50
John, if you think that offended me, you don’t know me very well! Try being a woman in Scotland Yard…
Sally Donovan, May 20th, 19:57
yes it’s very difficult!! sometimes it makes me want to go home and cry into my cat :( xxxxx
Molly Hooper, May 20th, 20:01
he always lets me. have fun in paris!! i am so jealous, i’ve never been further than slough and thats not very romantic really haha :) xxxxxxx
Molly Hooper, May 20th, 20:04
Thanks, Molly. And one day, eh?
John Watson, May 20th, 20:06
i hope so! :) xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Molly Hooper, May 20th, 20:10
I’ve never been to Paris either, Molly. I’ve heard Slough can be very romantic! Maybe we should organise a departmental visit to Paris? We could pretend we’re trying to get rid of Anderson and leave him on the train
Lestrade, May 20th, 20:17
I like that idea…
Anderson, May 20th, 20:21
That was Sally, by the way!
Anderson, May 20th, 20:22
Have you never been to Paris, Gregory? It must be the one city in France you’ve never visited. How odd. On a completely unrelated note, what are your plans for July?
Mycroft Holmes, May 20th, 20:26
Paris?
Lestrade, May 20th, 20:31
Now, why would you presume such a thing?
Mycroft Holmes, May 20th, 20:35
Tickets are booked, sir. Am sending you the flight details now.
Anthea?, May 20th, 20:37
Use the private messaging system next time, Anthea.
Mycroft Holmes, May 20th, 20:41
Sorry, sir.
Anthea?, May 20th, 20:42
Don’t apologise!! Paris!!
Lestrade, May 20th, 20:45
Hmm.
Mycroft Holmes, May 20th, 20:46
If you don’t stop sulking I will come round there and cheer you up myself
Lestrade, May 20th, 20:49
A car will be round in twenty minutes.
Anthea?, May 20th, 20:52
Splendid
Lestrade, May 20th, 20:53
I wonder what John and Sherlock are up to? John hasn’t commented in a while…
Mike Stamford, May 20th, 21:06
Probably gazing lovingly into each other’s eyes while Sherlock deduces all the things John loves about him.
Sally Donovan, May 20th, 21:12
OMG
John Watson, May 20th, 21:19
Acronyms, John? Really? Is that your response?
Sherlock Holmes, May 20th, 21:22
;ege5ty8yo, is that better? OMG
John Watson, May 20th, 21:25
uhe5g5p;y
Lestrade, May 20th, 21:25
Marginally. Still not what I was hoping for, however.
Sherlock Holmes, May 20th, 21:27
??????????????????????????????????????????
Harry, May 20th, 21:29
Oh boys
Marie Turner, May 20th, 21:31
This is Mrs Hudson, by the way.
Mrs Hudson, May 20th, 21:33
Is this actually happening because I totally predicted this
Anderson, May 20th, 21:35
Turning off comments now, you can all shut up because
John Watson, May 20th, 21:38
………?
Sally Donovan, May 20th, 21:59
Comments are still on, John.
Sally Donovan, May 20th, 22:00
rjgkgog4ig
John Watson, May 20th, 22:01
im going to be a bridesmaid!!!!!!!!!!!!
Harry, May 20th, 22:32
Bollocks.
John Watson, May 20th, 22:39
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