Archive of Our Own ^beta

ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN - There is no longer nothing. Here, in the depths of your consciousness, you are still not alone. You will never truly be alone again.

YOU - I feel pretty alone right now.

ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN - No you don’t. You’re just saying that to be contrarian. You know that every time you close your eyes, *she* is there with you. And this version of *her* won’t ever leave you.

ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN - Not until your last slumber. The big sleep.

ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN - Yes, then you’ll finally be alone -- and afraid.

LIMBIC SYSTEM - But not as afraid as you are right now! You can feel her pale eyes on you, on your body. She is standing over your bed, her blonde hair radiating around her like a halo. She is looking at what a mess you have become, and the only thing she can muster is…

LIMBIC SYSTEM - *Relief*. She is relieved that she got out when she did - her biggest regret is she didn’t leave you sooner.

1. - I’m not afraid of her! I’m asleep in my bed, nothing she can say can hurt me.
2. - She isn’t relieved, she used to love me. We were happy, once.
3. - Does she like what she sees? Cause this bed has room for one more. (Motion to the space next to you.)
4. - Do you hear that? (Proceed.)

DOLORES DEI - “Are you sure about that, Harry?”

DAMAGED MORALE

- 1

VOLITION - Her words, her gaze -- it’s nothing you haven’t been through before.

SUGGESTION - Now is not the time to push your luck. You don’t really know the rules here.

1. - Okay, fine, but she can’t hurt me *physically*.
2. - Back down.

DOLORES DEI - She smiles, like a shark. “Do you really believe that?”

DAMAGED HEALTH

- 1

PAIN THRESHOLD - Apparently, she *can* hurt you.

ENDURANCE - Not enough to leave any real damage -- just enough for you to remember whose boss.

1. - I’m not afraid of her! I’m asleep in my bed, nothing she can say can hurt me.
2. - She isn’t relieved, she used to love me. We were happy, once.
3. - Does she like what she sees? Cause this bed has room for one more. (Motion to the space next to you.)
4. - Do you hear that? (Proceed.)

DOLORES DEI - “But I am relieved, Harry. If I had stayed, you would have just dragged me down with you. At least one of us gets to be happy.” She pauses, touching her abdomen lightly. “I’m not sorry I chose my own happiness over yours.”

INLAND EMPIRE - In Mirova, across a seemingly endless expanse of Pale, the real Dora Ingerlund reclines in the waiting room of a doctor’s office. The child she actually wants is due any day now -- you will never have any children.

YOU - Are you saying I will never be happy?

DOLORES DEI - She laughs, under her breath. “Now that I think of it, yes. That is what I’m saying.”

COMPOSURE - She’s right. She took all the happiness with her when she left, and now you’ll suffer here until you kill yourself or die drinking.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - You know what they say: the best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago, the second best time is today. Let’s hit the liquor store then hit the dance floor.

LOGIC - I don’t think that particular expression was meant to extend to self-destructive behavior. Lay off the suicidal ideation, for now.

1. - I’m not afraid of her! I’m asleep in my bed, nothing she can say can hurt me.
2. - She isn’t relieved, she used to love me. We were happy, once.
3. - Does she like what she sees? Cause this bed has room for one more. (Motion to the space next to you.)
4. - Do you hear that? (Proceed.)

DOLORES DEI - “I do not. You are… disgusting.”

DRAMA - It is clear, sire, that she speaks the truth.

HALF LIGHT - What the hell does she know? You are a perfect specimen of man-hood. Make her understand.

INLAND EMPIRE - You should not do that. Nothing you do in this dream or in real-life will change her mind.

1. Prove to her how macho you are.
2. Don’t do that.

DOLORES DEI - “Aw, see! You *can* learn.” There is malice in her gaze, and no hint of irony. “Besides, I don’t sleep with f**s.”

REACTION SPEED - Excuse me? What did she say?

COMPOSURE - *That* was just uncalled for. I don’t even know how to respond to that.

YOU - I didn’t - I mean, I’m not -

DOLORES DEI - “Sure you aren’t. And I’m really Dolores Dei.”

1. - I’m not afraid of her! I’m asleep in my bed, nothing she can say can hurt me.
2. - She isn’t relieved, she used to love me. We were happy, once.
3. - Does she like what she sees? Cause this bed has room for one more. (Motion to the space next to you.)
4. - Do you hear that? (Proceed.)

ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN - You're about to wake up, baby. I hope you’re ready to see the world again.

YOU - Wake up? It's too early, it can’t be later than 2:00 AM.

LIMBIC SYSTEM - Oh, you aren’t going to want to miss this one, Harry. There's someone at the door for you.

DOLORES DEI - “Until tomorrow, Harry.” She adds: “try not to off yourself in the meantime.”

YOU - Wake up.

BEDROOM - Your sparsely decorated room is cold, probably from the window you left open last night. You are naked except for your questionable pair of boxers. 

DOORBELL - The bell’s scream cuts through the midnight air of your dingy apartment, telling you that someone is down below, waiting to be buzzed in. You don’t have the faintest clue who it could be.

YOU - Close the window, and put some clothes on.

BEDROOM - You lurch toward the one window in the room, and slam it shut. You then lean down and grab your discarded "Man From Hjelmdall" T-Shirt and FALN Track Pants from the floor -- you had left them both there last night after stripping for bed. Now, whoever is at the door won't be horrified by your nude form.

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - They wouldn’t be horrified, they would be amazed at your masculine physique.

EMPATHY - *I* don’t believe that *you* actually believe that would be anyone’s reaction.

YOU - Walk to the door.

LIVING ROOM - You enter the one other room of your apartment. While it has seen better days, it has also seen worse, and since you’ve stopped drinking, you could almost call it livable. Lieutenant Kitsuragi had seen to that in the week after following your return, helping you to ‘clean out the rooms’ in a sense. 

DOORBELL - It rings again. It seems to you to sing with an almost panicked urgency.

INLAND EMPIRE - Something is wrong. There's no other reason someone would be at your door at this hour.

VOLITION - Oh, god. Someone is dead.

COMPOSURE - Someone is dead, and it is *your* fault.

LOGIC - Or, a drunk neighbor locked themself out and needs to be let into the building. You’ve certainly done the same more than a few times.

PERCEPTION (HEARING) - You, obviously, can not tell who it is from several stories up. Just let them in.

YOU - Buzz the stranger in.

SHIVERS - The old apartment building shakes as the front door is violently pulled open. The last vestiges of winter blow through the hallway, exploring the neglected building and bringing a sharp chill to the air.

SHIVERS - The man who has arrived would not care if he woke every tenant in the building, at this point -- any semblance of conscientiousness left him hours ago, along with the rest of his impulse control. He takes the stairs two, three at a time, like a man possessed. Where he grips the handrail he leaves a faint trace of… is that blood?

SHIVERS - He reaches your door, and raises his fist to knock, before hesitating. He stands, a mere half meter from you, pulling in ragged breaths.

REACTION SPEED - Open the door, immediately. 

AUTHORITY - No matter who it is, you can handle them. With force, if needed.

YOU - Open the door.

LOGIC - What. The. Fuck.

INLAND EMPIRE - I am… at a loss. What is happening here?

VOLITION - This… doesn’t make any sense.

COMPOSURE - Your face surely reflects how shocking this is for you - for all of us.

REACTION SPEED - It’s Kim.

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) - He appears to be… bleeding?

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant is leaning against the door frame, gripping his left bicep. There is no humor in his face. He does not say anything.

EMPATHY - For the love of god, say something. You are just staring at him, slack-jawed and stupid.

1. - [Rhetoric - Impossible 18] Act casual.
2. - [Composure - Impossible 18] Let him inside.
3. - [Half Light - Impossible 18] Close the door in his face.

CHECK FAILURE

COMPOSURE [Impossible: Failure] - You can’t count on both hands the number of times you have shown up at Kim’s apartment unannounced since becoming his partner, but now that he shows up at yours, you're at a loss for words. You’re pathetic, Harry.

YOU - …

KIM KITSURAGI - “Detective.”

COMPOSURE - You are shaking. The lights of the hallway are too bright, and you can hardly make out any details about the lieutenant's condition.

YOU - Why can’t I move?

COMPOSURE - Because you think that if you stay very still, the circumstances you find yourself in now will change. 

YOU - Maybe they will.

COMPOSURE - They will not. The lieutenant is waiting. Say something, you absolute buffoon. 

YOU - …

KIM KITSURAGI - His eyes search your face. “Lieutenant.”

COMPOSURE - Are you going to pass out? Do *not* pass out.

YOU - …

KIM KITSURAGI - “Harry, I understand this is very shocking for you.” There is a bitter edge to his voice. “But I have had a very long night, and would appreciate it if you could pull yourself together enough to *let me inside*.”

RHETORIC - He is not angry at you, he is angry at himself, for being here, like this.

AUTHORITY – Did he just call you Harry? Something must be *really* wrong.

PERCEPTION (SMELL) – You smell cheap liquor, and for once you are certain it is not coming from you.

EMPATHY - Hold on… is he… drunk?

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Oh, he is *absolutely plastered*. You can hear just the slightest slur in his voice. It looks like Kim finally let loose! Now, go grab a drink and join him.

EMPATHY - No, this is *not* from ‘letting loose.’ If he had any other option, he would not come here, of all places, intoxicated.

YOU - Step aside and let Kim in.

KIM KITSURAGI - “Thank you,” he mumbles, as he pushes past you, collapsing directly on your couch. His eyes are closed.

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) - You have never seen him like this. He is wearing a jet-black bomber jacket -- not unlike his usual coat, though this one is notably unmarked by the RCM labels. He is also wearing well-worn jeans you have never seen him wear before. His undershirt is tight and thin, and leaves inches of exposed flesh along his stomach. 

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Wow, he looks…

AUTHORITY - Do *not* say it.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Hot.

AUTHORITY - Ugh.

1. - “Are you okay?”
2. - “I like your outfit. You look really cool.” (Flick finger guns in his direction.)
3. - “I didn’t think you drank, Kim.”
4. - [Logic - Impossible 20] Figure out what happened.

KIM KITSURAGI - He snorts, but there is no humor in it. “No, I’m not *fucking okay*, Harry. In fact, I’m bleeding on your couch.” He opens his eyes and looks directly at you. “Do you have a first aid kit, or are you too busy trying to ‘can-open’ me to do anything useful?”

EMPATHY - He’s being sarcastic -- he knows you have a first aid kit because he bought it for you last week. A precaution, in case he needed to come over and bandage you up, again.

AUTHORITY - Oh, how the tables have turned.

ESPRIT DE CORPS - He would never speak to you like this while sober. When he remembers this tomorrow, he will burn with shame.

1. - “Uh, yeah. Totally.” (Grab the first aid kit)
2. - “I have some other questions first.” (Go back.)

FIRST AID KIT - The kit, newly replenished, is underneath your kitchen sink. The lieutenant’s eyes slowly follow you as you shuffle towards it. You grip it in your sweaty hands, before taking a seat next to him.

YOU - “Can I help?”

KIM KITSURAGI - He stares at you for a moment longer before removing the thin overcoat. He inhales sharply when he peels the fabric away from his arm, where the blood has adhered it to his flesh.

1. - “Shit, that looks like it hurts.”
2. - [Visual Calculus - Medium 10] Assess the damage.

KIM KITSURAGI - “It does.”

DRAMA - Hmhm. It does, indeed.

PAIN THRESHOLD - What he would like to say is: “Yes, you fucking door-knob, it hurts. Any other insights, Dick Mullen?” 

1. - “Shit, that looks like it hurts.”
2. - [Visual Calculus - Medium 10] Assess the damage.

CHECK SUCCESS

VISUAL CALCULUS [Medium: Success] - You can now assess the extent of the damage. He appears to have a three-inch laceration on his left arm, just below the shoulder. While it is bleeding a lot, it does not appear deep enough to need stitches. The cut is consistent with a slashing motion that the lieutenant may have just barely avoided. 

CONCEPTUALIZATION - You are surprised that, at his current level of inebriation, he was able to dodge anything at all.

VISUAL CALCULUS - The knife must have been short but sharp, likely some kind of butterfly knife. That appears to be the only knife wound -- besides that, he has a split lip, a black eye, and some other minor facial bruising.

LOGIC - If he has a black eye, how are his glasses still intact? 

VISUAL CALCULUS - He’s right -- his glasses are completely fine, despite the numerous facial wounds. Does that mean he wasn’t wearing them when the fight started?

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) - There are several red splotches along his neck, that look almost like…

LOGIC - Uhh…

ENCYCLOPEDIA - Those would appear to be hickies. Based on the coloration, they would have to be only a few hours old, if that. They are most frequently caused by –

LOGIC - We *know* what causes hickies!

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - *THAT* is what I am talking about!

COMPOSURE - You manage to look away from the obvious marks on his neck and return to the more pressing manner -- the knife wound. He didn’t appear to notice you staring. 

EMPATHY - Or if he did, he is too far gone to care. Take a deep breath.

YOU - “I’m going to clean this up. I don’t think you’ll need stitches, the bandages I have should be sufficient. Is that okay?”

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant just nods. He is still, but you can feel nervous energy, surging just under the surface. This entire time, his eyes have not left your face. 

EMPATHY - He is searching for judgment. He will not find it in you.

ESPRIT DE CORPS - On some level, he wishes you *would* judge him -- maybe then he would feel less guilty.

KIM KITSURAGI - “What? No witty comments?”

1. - “Fuck off, Kim.”
2. - “Do you have another concussion?”
3. - [Hand/Eye Coordination - Medium 10] Bandage his arm.

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant squints at you. “No.”

DRAMA - He believes this to be true, at least.

1. - “Fuck off, Kim.”
2. - “Do you have another concussion?”
3. - [Hand/Eye Coordination - Medium 10] Bandage his arm.

CHECK SUCCESS

HAND/EYE COORDINATION [Medium: Success] - You finish wrapping the wound, and stand to return the kit to where it belongs. When you pass the fridge, you stop to grab a pack of frozen vegetables for the lieutenant’s black-eye.

KIM KITSURAGI - He inspects your handiwork.

EMPATHY - He is actually impressed by the job you did. If he was sober, he would tell you so.

YOU - “Catch.”

KIM KITSURAGI - He catches the frozen corn in his unwounded arm, and removes his glasses, pressing the package to his eye.

1. - “Are you okay?”
2. - “I like your outfit. You look really cool.” (Flick finger guns in his direction.)
3. - “I didn’t think you drank, Kim.”
4. - [Logic - Impossible 20] Figure out what happened.
   • +1 Assessed Kim’s Wounds
   • +1 Kim Wasn’t Wearing His Glasses

KIM KITSURAGI - “That was the goal.”

DRAMA - ‘Looking cool’ was not his *only* goal, methinks.

LOGIC - At this hour, in this part of town, in those clothes, the only place he could have been would be a club or bar. But why?

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - ‘Buy why?’ -- are you a child? You know why grown men go to bars. *He* was trying to pick up *chicks*.

RHETORIC - Well, not *chicks*, but the point stands.

INLAND EMPIRE - You are at least vaguely familiar with every nightlife venue within walking distance to your apartment. Wherever he was tonight, it's likely you’ve been there, too.

YOU - Why does that matter?

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - So you can go back there and get freaky after Kim leaves! *Or* go with Kim. If you leave now, you can still make last-call!

SUGGESTION - Because he could have been hurt in an altercation at the bar or at least nearby. If you know where he went, maybe that will help you track down who did this.

ESPRIT DE CORPS - Track down who did this? Are you joking? One of the best detectives you’ve ever met is sitting in front of you. Even if he didn’t already know, he certainly wouldn’t need *your* help to figure it out.

1. - “Where did you go tonight?”
2. - “Who did this?”

KIM KITSURAGI - “A bar.”

YOU - “A bar?”

KIM KITSURAGI - “Yes.”

YOU - “Any particular bar?”

KIM KITSURAGI - “No.”

EMPATHY - He’s doing this on purpose. If you press him on it, he’ll probably tell you.

1. - “Was it a bar near here?”
2. - “Nevermind.” (Drop it.)

KIM KITSURAGI - “It isn’t too far from here.”

1. - “Was it a bar I’ve been to before?”
2. - “This is silly.” (Drop it.)

KIM KITSURAGI - “Probably not, Harry.” He bites back a bitter laugh. “But who knows? I’ve been wrong before.”

AUTHORITY – That is the *third* time he has called you Harry tonight. Ask him why, later.

1. - “You aren’t going to tell me, are you?”
2. - “Fine.” (Drop it.)

KIM KITSURAGI - “No, I’m not.” There’s something daring in his eyes, as though he’s hoping you’ll ask again, just so he can tell you no.

REACTION SPEED - Could it be the reason he won’t tell you is because it is… an *underground* bar?

LOGIC - Yes! That must be it. He must have been at an *underground* bar. One for members of the *homo-sexual* underground.

VOLITION - Is that why he’s keeping it a secret from you? Does he not trust you, or…?

EMPATHY - Or, he is ashamed. Because of the… implications.

VOLITION - What implications?

EMPATHY - The implications of appearing, shit-faced, at your partner’s house in the middle of the night, after getting beat up at a bar for homo-sexuals.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - No. He wasn’t just *at* a bar, he was *cruising*.

ENCYCLOPEDIA - How do we know what *cruising* is?!

INLAND EMPIRE - A smoky room behind a curtain, in the back of a disco club, at the edge of the New. Someone is whispering to you, telling you things you don’t really understand -- but you’d like to.

COMPOSURE - *Why* you know isn’t important right now. Was he cruising or not? 

LOGIC - I hate to agree, but that… it could be true. Why does that make you so nervous?

1. - “You aren’t going to tell me, are you?”
2. - “Fine.” (Drop it.)

KIM KITSURAGI - He grunts an acknowledgment. 

SUGGESTION - Even at your worst moments together, you have never heard him be less than eloquent. Tonight is a first.

1. - “Are you okay?”
2. - “I like your outfit. You look really cool.” (Flick finger guns in his direction.)
3. - “I didn’t think you drank, Kim.”
4. - [Logic - Impossible 20] Figure out what happened.
   • +1 Assessed Kim’s Wounds
   • +1 Kim Wasn’t Wearing His Glasses
   • +1 Knowledge of Homo-Sexual Underground

KIM KITSURAGI - He looks surprised. “I don’t…”

REACTION SPEED - He honestly believed he was hiding it well.

EMPATHY - He likely doesn’t realize how drunk he actually is -- if he doesn’t drink much, his tolerance will be much lower. 

HALF LIGHT - And he’s so *scrawny*. I bet he’s a total light-weight.

KIM KITSURAGI - The cat’s out of the bag, he supposes. “Usually.”

1. - “So what changed?”
2. - “Atta boy, Kimball! I knew you had it in you.”
3. - “Drinking truly is the best way to ward off the visions of hell-fire.” (Nod solemnly.)

KIM KITSURAGI - He does look away from you now. The lieutenant moves to run his finger through his hair, but winces when he lifts his arm and is reminded of his wound. “I don’t know.”

DRAMA - He really doesn’t, sire. One moment he was fine, and the next…

EMPATHY - The next, he needed to turn off his brain, just for a little while.

ENDURANCE - Oh, you’ve been there. Before it became a *problem*, you’d self-medicate like this without really understanding why. It numbed the pain, for a while.

PAIN THRESHOLD - Until it didn’t anymore. Until you needed it just to stop the pain from getting worse.

1. - “I think I understand.”
2. - “Wait, so how did you get here?” (Proceed.)

KIM KITSURAGI - He just sighs, deeply, and nods once.

EMPATHY - That’s probably what he was afraid of. He doesn’t want to end up like…

YOU - Like me?

EMPATHY - Exactly.

VOLITION - You *are* getting better, though. Both of you know that - maybe that's why he came here tonight.

ENDURANCE - To see how much worse *he could be*?

INLAND EMPIRE - No. To see that no hole is too deep to climb out of.

1. - “It could be worse!” (Point to yourself.) “You could be me!”
2. - “It happens to the best of us.”
3. - “Drowning yourself at the bottom of a bottle won’t change anything.”
4. - “...” (Proceed.)

KIM KITSURAGI - “And I certainly don’t count myself among the best.”

DRAMA - Do you jest, sir? Sire, surely, he can not mean that.

ESPRIT DE CORPS - He isn’t just being humble. His confidence is shaken -- he feels *unfit*.

YOU - “Kim, you do realize that *you* are one of the best detectives I have ever met, let alone worked with, right? You’re Kim *fucking* Kitsuragi!”

KIM KITSURAGI - He snorts. “Sure.”

EMPATHY - I don’t know if you can get through to him with his current attitude. Try anyway.

YOU - “I’m not joking.”

KIM KITSURAGI - “Whatever you say.”

1. - “It could be worse!” (Point to yourself.) “You could be me!”
2. - “It happens to the best of us.”
3. - “Drowning yourself at the bottom of a bottle won’t change anything.”
4. - “...” (Proceed.)

KIM KITSURAGI - “I’m not in the mood for your self-deprecation, Harry.”

AUTHORITY - *Fourth* time.

1. - “It could be worse!” (Point to yourself.) “You could be me!”
2. - “It happens to the best of us.”
3. - “Drowning yourself at the bottom of a bottle won’t change anything.”
4. - “...” (Proceed.)

KIM KITSURAGI - “Do you really think I don’t know that?”

RHETORIC - That was probably a dumb thing to say to him.

YOU - “I -- uh, no I know you do, but --”

KIM KITSURAGI - “I didn’t come here for a lecture.” He sounds actually angry.

YOU - “Then why did you come here?”

KIM KITSURAGI - “Don’t make me say it.”

EMPATHY - Why do you think? He’s just like you - he has no one else.

RHETORIC - It's embarrassing to him, to have no one else but *you*.

ESPRIT DE CORPS - He’s not embarrassed because it's *you*, he's embarrassed because he needs anyone at all.

YOU - Why does that embarrass him?

INLAND EMPIRE - The lieutenant, unlike you, has a past. For a moment, you can almost see the boy this man used to be -- no parents, no family. From childhood to now, he has always been alone. 

YOU - Surely he hasn’t *always* been alone. He had a partner.

INLAND EMPIRE - A partner he can’t talk about without shutting down. When he died, Kim swore he would never get close to another person again. The risk was *too* high. Until…

EMPATHY - Until he met *you*, that is.

YOU - Why would that change anything?

LOGIC - Let’s just say, he *thought* the reward might just outweigh the risk.

VOLITION [Medium: Success] - Do *not* prove him wrong.

1. - “It could be worse!” (Point to yourself.) “You could be me!”
2. - “It happens to the best of us.”
3. - “Drowning yourself at the bottom of a bottle won’t change anything.”
4. - “...” (Proceed.)

KIM KITSURAGI - He grimaces, and starts to stand. He is *very unsteady*, and sways, before…

REACTION SPEED [Medium: Success]: You grab his (good) arm by the elbow, stopping him from fully toppling over. 

YOU - “Whoa, Kim, take it easy. Do you need something?”

KIM KITSURAGI - “Water,” he croaks and slumps back down. The evening is catching up to him.

YOU - “Let me get it.”

LAST WATER BOTTLE - You grab your one remaining bottle of fresh water from the counter. Unfortunately, you forgot to put this particular drink in the fridge, so it is uncomfortably warm under your grip. You hand it to him, returning to your spot on the coach.

KIM KITSURAGI - He drains it in one, long pull, flinching only slightly at the temperature.

YOU - “Better?”

KIM KITSURAGI - “Much.” His speech is already starting to sound clearer.

1. - “I think I understand.”
2. - “Wait, so how did you get here?” (Proceed.)

KIM KITSURAGI - He has put down the pack of frozen food, now holding it to his knee. You hadn’t noticed him limping before, but his leg must also be hurt. The lieutenant now dons his glasses again.

KIM KITSURAGI - “I walked.”

DRAMA - Right, and you’ll fly to work on Monday.

EMPATHY - He’s doing it again, challenging you to call him on the lie. You know he couldn’t have walked, since he hasn’t yet moved closer to Precinct 41 - his current lease won’t end for another two months.

AUTHORITY - He doesn’t mind telling you the truth, but he wants to make you work for it.

ESPRIT DE CORPS - Very mature, detective.

EMPATHY - Play along, for now.

1. “All the way from the harbor?”
2. “I buy it.” (Let it be.)

KIM KITSURAGI - “Yes.”

1. “And that’s a, what, three, four hour walk?”
2. “Totally believable.” (Let it be.)

KIM KITSURAGI - “Give or take.”

1. “Through what are easily some of the most dangerous parts of Revachol, right?”
2. “Sure, why not.” (Let it be.)

KIM KITSURAGI - “As you say.”

1. “Sorry Kim, I don’t believe it.”
2. “I don’t have time for this.” (Let it be.)

KIM KITSURAGI - “Oh really?” He arches a brow at you - it isn’t nearly as effective when he is drunk.

YOU - “I think you drove. And now you can’t go home because you *ended up* drinking. Or…”

INTERFACING - The torque dork you know wouldn’t leave his Kineema on the street overnight in this part of Jamrock.

LOGIC - Or he planned to stay the night with someone.

KIM KITSURAGI - “Or?” He draws out the word. No one can say he lacks a sense for the dramatic.

YOU - “Or you expected to stay the night somewhere you could safely park the Kineema, and planned to drive home in the morning.”

KIM KITSURAGI - “Very good, *detective*.” He leaned his head back, to stare at the ceiling. “I was worried you would forget to turn this conversation into an interrogation.” 

DAMAGED MORALE

- 1

VOLITION - You’re doing it, again. Treating him like a suspect - just because he’s right, doesn’t make it hurt less.

EMPATHY - He’s lashing out -- don’t hold it against him, you’ve done the same hundreds of times. 

SHIVERS - Miles from you, but not many, at the cusp of a street full of life -- and death -- a building that had once been a grand mansion, home to wealthy diplomats and socialites in another century, still stands. It has a new purpose now -- one of concealment and freedom. 

SHIVERS - The hotel opens her doors to anyone with a few spare reál. She promises secrecy, and little else. For her customers, that is enough. She does, on occasion, host guests whose means of transportation would infringe on that core promise, and so, for a small fee, she will conceal that as well. In the small garage off the main building, a well-loved vehicle waits under a dark tarp.

YOU - “It's at a hotel off Boogie Street. The bar is next door.”

KIM KITSURAGI - He closes his eyes. “I *hate* when you do that.”

YOU - When I do what?

EMPATHY - When you *read his mind*.

INLAND EMPIRE - To any outsider, it would look like that. 

KIM KITSURAGI - He opens them again. “Yes. It will be fine until tomorrow.” He thinks, before adding: “later today, I suppose.”

EMPATHY - He’s sure of it. So either he is *very* trusting, or…

LOGIC - Or he has left it there before. This is not his first time.

1. - “Are you okay?”
2. - “I like your outfit. You look really cool.” (Flick finger guns in his direction.)
3. - “I didn’t think you drank, Kim.”
4. - “You keep calling me Harry.”
5. - [Logic - Impossible 20] Figure out what happened.
   • +1 Assessed Kim’s Wounds
   • +1 Kim Wasn’t Wearing His Glasses at the Time
   • +1 Knowledge of Homo-Sexual Underground
   • +1 Kim is Sobering Up
   • +1 The Kineema is Safe

KIM KITSURAGI - “That *is* still your name last I was told, unless you have finally settled on Raphaël Ambrosius Costeau.” For the first time since his arrival, there is something besides exhaustion and frustration behind his eyes. Fondness. “Though, Tequila Sunset still has a special place in my heart.”

YOU - “No, it is, but -- “

KIM KITSURAGI - “I did not know before tonight, Harry, that it was an actual cocktail, I really thought you just,” he makes a small motion with his hand, “made it up. I actually ordered it at the bar! It was not the worst drink, all things considered. I did not think of you as someone to enjoy orange juice -- “

YOU - “Kim, you know what I’m talking about.”

KIM KITSURAGI - He faltered slightly. “I figured that showing up here, like this -- I can’t very well play at professionalism in this state.”

AUTHORITY - Make him stop! You *are* the superior officer here, and he is *already* testing your patience!

INLAND EMPIRE - No, you *like* being called by your name. It makes you feel like a person, not a job. You very rarely get to feel like a person. 

ESPRIT DE CORPS - Enjoy it while it lasts - tomorrow you’ll be back to ‘lieutenant’, and ‘detective’, and, worst of all, ‘officer’.

KIM KITSURAGI - “Does it bother you?”

1. - “Yes, actually. Can we go back to lieutenant?”
2. - “Not at all, Kim. Thanks for asking.”
3. - “I do *prefer* Tequila Sunset, if that is still on the table…”

KIM KITSURAGI - He gives you a slight smile - if you knew Kim any less, you might not notice it. 

INLAND EMPIRE - Thankfully, you know him *very* well.

1. - “Are you okay?”
2. - “I like your outfit. You look really cool.” (Flick finger guns in his direction.)
3. - “I didn’t think you drank, Kim.”
4. - “You keep calling me Harry.”
5. - [Logic - Impossible 20] Figure out what happened.
   • +1 Assessed Kim’s Wounds
   • +1 Kim Wasn’t Wearing His Glasses at the Time
   • +1 Knowledge of Homo-Sexual Underground
   • +1 Kim is Sobering Up
   • +1 The Kineema is Safe
   • +1 You *Know* Kim

CHECK ???

LOGIC [Impossible: ???] - Did it… pass?

AUTHORITY - I -- no. It didn’t.

VOLITION - But… it didn’t fail, either?

INLAND EMPIRE - That shouldn’t be possible. 

CONCEPTUALIZATION - And yet, here we are.

REACTION SPEED - Kim! Kim is saying something to you, respond quickly!

PERCEPTION (HEARING) - You can see his mouth moving, but you can’t hear him over the sound of blood rushing in your ears.

COMPOSURE - Calm down. Just because this is new doesn’t mean it's something bad.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - How could *anything* bad happen? Kim is here! And now he knows how to have a *good* time.

KIM KITSURAGI - “Harry?” The lieutenant is shaking your shoulder, gently. You zoned out, missing everything he just said.

YOU - “I was, uh, just trying to figure out what happened.”

KIM KITSURAGI - He gives you a sad look and he doesn’t release your shoulder. “Then why don’t you ask me?”

LOGIC - Why ask *him* when we can *deduce* the truth? It's easier that way.

EMPATHY - Just because it is easier, doesn’t mean it's the right thing to do. He wants us to talk to him like a *person* would, not a detective.

AUTHORITY - But you are a detective. Can you be blamed for doing what you were made for?

VOLITION - You were not *made* for anything - human beings are not made to fill roles.

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - Then you must *not* be a human being, because you were born for this.

SUGGESTION - Play dumb! Give us more time to figure this out!

YOU - “I didn’t think you’d tell me.”

KIM KITSURAGI - “So, instead, you were going to, what? Draw your own conclusions?” He laughs dryly. “I already know how this looks.” He drops his arm to his side -- you already miss that small point of contact. 

1. - “Okay, how *does* it look?”
2. - “What I think happened is…”

KIM KITSURAGI - “No.” He doesn’t let you start that line of questioning. “*I* will tell you, but, please, just -- can I have a cigarette?”

REACTION SPEED - But he had one earlier before you two left the station.

COMPOSURE - The shock is clearly showing on your face.

KIM KITSURAGI - “It's after midnight. My one for the day. I might regret this later, but…”

EMPATHY - But he needs a kick *now* if he’s ever going to get through the night.

CIGARETTES - The crumpled pack of Smokes Astra lay discarded on the coffee table, next to a well-loved lighter. You snatch both from their resting place. You push one between your own lips and hold the other out to Kim.

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant is back to uninterrupted eye contact -- it's likely he doesn’t even realize how much he is staring -- as he takes the cigarette. You lean forward to light it for him, before taking care of your own. He takes an unbroken drag and visibly relaxes -- the last vestiges of nervous energy leaving his body.

INLAND EMPIRE - In all your years of drinking, smoking, and bleeding, you never came close to looking as cool as he does now.

CONCEPTUALIZATION - He can even make a *breakdown* look like art -- a commentary on the state of the world, how escaping through simple pleasures can dull the pain but not erase it.

YOU - Is that what this is? A breakdown?

EMPATHY - Or a cry for help. 

YOU - “What are you thinking about?”

KIM KITSURAGI - “Funny.” He releases a puff of smoke. “I was about to ask you the same.”

YOU - “I’m worried about you.”

REACTION SPEED - I -- just like that? You’re going to tell him, just like that?

KIM KITSURAGI - “Why do you care?” he asks, curtly. Its as though he’s inquiring about the time, or the weather forecast.

AUTHORITY - Is he joking?

DRAMA - Nay, sire, he appears deadly serious. He wants to know.

YOU - “*Why* do I care? Are *you* fucking insane?”

EMPATHY - Calm down, getting angry won’t solve this. It won’t put him at ease.

YOU - How could he say that to *me*? After *EVERYTHING*?

EMPATHY - You’ve said worse to him while you’ve been sober. Don’t hold him to a higher standard just because you think he’s infallible.

KIM KITSURAGI - He is evidently surprised by your bluntness - the cigarette hangs limply from his slightly open mouth.

COMPOSURE - Your cheeks are warm with embarrassment at your lose of patience.

YOU - “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for.”

KIM KITSURAGI - “No. No, I’m -- you are right. I shouldn’t have said that.” You both smoke in silence, for a spell, before he snubs his out on the ash-tray beside him. “You are going to think differently of me after tonight.”

RHETORIC - He states it like a fact.

YOU - “You don’t know that.”

KIM KITSURAGI - “But I do.” He responds sharply. “You already do.”

DRAMA - This is one of the few times I do not advocate for lying. Binoclard or not, he will see right through you.

YOU - “Kim, I didn’t even know you a few months ago. Maybe you are a different man than I thought you were that first day in the Whirling-in-Rags, but… thats not such a bad thing.”

COMPOSURE - Take a deep breath. You’ll be okay.

YOU - “Nothing you tell me will change the fact that you’re my partner. And -- like it or not -- my best friend.”

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant nods. He believes you.

EMPATHY - He’ll tell you now. 

VOLITION - But only because he trusts you.

ESPRIT DE CORPS - With more than just his life.

INLAND EMPIRE - His soul, too.

KIM KITSURAGI - He takes to studying the ceiling. “I was drinking because I was nervous.” A breath. “And I was nervous because I was meeting a man tonight. Ah, what your smoker on the balcony would call a ‘Sunday Friend,’ maybe.” 

YOU - “But today isn’t --"

EMPATHY - If looks could kill, the one he gives you now would strike you dead. 

KIM KITSURAGI - “He isn’t a very good *friend* either. He neglected to inform me he has a wife. A very jealous one, at that.” He clears his throat. “She apparently found out about his, lets call it ‘night-life’, and was not too pleased.”

YOU - “So, she --"

KIM KITSURAGI - “Her brother and his drinking buddies. I don’t know how he found us.” Kim shook his head, shelving the question. “I got thrown under the motor carriage, as they say,” he dryly added. “You should of heard what he said to them, like I’m some kind of -- what, magician of the homo-sexual underground. Turning good, Dolorian men into harbingers of moral decay.”

SHIVERS - ‘No, I would never -- I’m not like that. It was *him*. The Seolite, he *tricked me*.” A gaunt, tall man frantically explains. He gesticulates wildly, his eyes flashing with fear and self-preservation. “I told you, I *love* my wife --"

KIM KITSURAGI - “They didn’t believe him, of course.” Darkly, he adds: “I can only imagine what would’ve happened if they did.”

ENCYCLOPEDIA - In Revachol, 71% of homicides go unsolved -- when considering vulnerable populations, that number jumps to --

EMPATHY - Some things are better left unsaid.

KIM KITSURAGI - “They dragged him back to his wife. I just got caught in the middle of it.” 

SHIVERS - The jury does not knock on the door before breaking the lock. The occupants are indistinguishable from one another in the dim light -- then, they are both pulled from the bed. Neither knows what is happening, who the intruders are -- they assume it is a matter of life and death. Most of the blows land in the first few minutes, until both are beaten and bloody.

SHIVERS - The intruder’s don’t know that one of their prey is an RCM officer -- a highly decorated one, at that. For their troubles they receive their own share of damage -- but for all his skill, he’s bested by their number.

SHIVERS - Then there is the interrogation, the excuses, and, finally, the verdict. The judge pushes the accused (the guilty) out the door with a shove -- ‘if I ever catch you with another f****t, I don’t care what my sister says, I’ll --,’ and turns to point at the half-blind man clutching his own bleeding arm -- ‘I’ll kill you both.’

PERCEPTION (HEARING) - Your ears are ringing, when the lieutenant says:

KIM KITSURAGI - “I didn’t have anywhere else to go.”

HALF LIGHT - They did *WHAT*?

REACTION SPEED - Nothing could have prepared you for the shock you feel now.

VISUAL CALCULUS - He could have *died* tonight, beaten to death by a crowd of blind, stupid, selfish men --

CONCEPTUALIZATION - No, it wasn’t that bad -- but it could have been.

COMPOSURE - Your heart rate is highly elevated. You can’t remember being this angry before.

INLAND EMPIRE - But you have been -- you’ve seen records of it. You almost killed a man with your police ledger in a drunken rage. And you’ve had flashes of it since waking up in Martinaise -- hot, violent anger so intense you can’t think of anything else. Liquor or not, it didn’t disappear overnight. It's still there, under the surface, ready to uncoil.

VOLITION - You need to *CALM DOWN*.

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - Calm down? No, you need to get up, *now*. You need to find those men and you need to make them *feel* your rage.

HALF LIGHT - Kill them. They deserve it. They all deserve it.

LOGIC - No, we can’t *kill* them, we have to --

ESPRIT DE CORPS - You are a *cop*, Harry. You know how to handle this.

YOU - “I need to go -- I’m going to --" 

KIM KITSURAGI - He grips your elbow with surprising strength -- you didn’t realize you had stood. Now this small point of contact is the only thing keeping you anchored to this room.

HALF LIGHT - Shrug him off. You have a job to do.

AUTHORITY - You will make them pay. You have power to make them *all* pay.

SHIVERS - The merry band of fools has returned to their sport of drinking. Even at this hour, they are celebrating a job well done. At a hole-in-the-wall not half a kilometer from here…

YOU - “I know where they are, I can --"

KIM KITSURAGI - “What are you going to do after you find them? Then what, Harry?” He leans in quickly, pulling you closer and forcing you to look into his eyes. His sudden intensity makes you falter. “How do you *make them pay*? You arrest them? Don’t make me laugh.”

ESPRIT DE CORPS - The law requires doing things by the book -- and going by the book leaves a paper-trail -- everything becomes public.

KIM KITSURAGI - “I can see the headline now: ‘HOMO-COP BEATEN ON BOOGIE STREET’.”

ENCYCLOPEDIA - Homo-sexual relationships, while still technically illegal in Revachol, where decriminalized in the year ‘23 -- this was largely due to the difficulties in persecution and a lack of police resources, rather than a shift in public opinion. As such, legal protections for those engaging in *underground* behavior is notably lacking, and most crimes against the community go unreported. 

INLAND EMPIRE - An unspoken conversation seems to pass between you two in your stalemate. 

INLAND EMPIRE - ‘If they aren’t stopped now, they’ll do it to someone else.’ 

INLAND EMPIRE - ‘In Revachol, this will always be happening to someone.’

KIM KITSURAGI - “I will *not* lose the past twenty years of my life and everything I’ve worked for over *another* racist and *another* homo-phobe.”

ESPRIT DE CORPS - Despite all he has done, a scandal like that would force the precinct's hand. He would be quietly dismissed.

EMPATHY - He knows you would do anything for him, which is why he trusts you to listen to him now.

KIM KITSURAGI - “Sit down, Harry.” When you do, he gives you a tired half-smile.

HALF LIGHT - I don’t want to *sit down*, I don’t like this.

VOLITION - None of us like it. But Kim’s right.

RHETORIC - He’s always right.

COMPOSURE - You take a few minutes to get your breathing under control. Think rationally. Good. Just like that.

YOU - “What now?”

KIM KITSURAGI - He checks his watch. “2:40 AM. I think we both need some rest.” Suddenly shy, he asks: “can I… sleep on your couch tonight?”

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Invite him to bed with you! Think about how nice it would be to press your face into his neck, breath in his scent, and --

YOU - “Yeah, of course. I’ll grab you a blanket --" 

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) - When you retrieve the pillow and blanket from the closet, the lieutant has already stretched out on the couch with his eyes closed.

HALF LIGHT - He looks like a corpse, sleeping like that.

CONCEPTUALIZATION - No, he doesn’t. He looks peaceful.

EMPATHY - He’d appreciate the blanket regardless -- it does get cold in here. 

KIM KITSURAGI - When you carefully billow the blanket over his form, he asks without opening his eyes: “I’ve been curious, Harry. Have you figured it out yet?”

REACTION SPEED - He’s talking about your homo-sexual underground mind-project. 

EMPATHY - He really is, after all, still drunk. A sober Kitsuragi would never be so blunt.

YOU - “I was dreaming about Dora before you came here tonight. She told me she --"

VOLITION - Should we be telling him this? After what he’s been through tonight --

RHETORIC - You don’t want to scare him, make him *uncomfortable*.

ENDURANCE - What kind of internalized *bullshit* is this? He asked!

PAIN THRESHOLD - At this point, you couldn’t scare him off if you tried.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - The heart wants what the heart wants, baby! Or in this case, what the *body* wants…

YOU - “She said she ‘doesn’t sleep with f**s’. Felt like something she’d said before, maybe when we used to fight.”

KIM KITSURAGI - “Do you think you might have…”

REACTION SPEED - Cheated on her? Seen men *on the side*?

EMPATHY - Like his ‘sunday friend’.

YOU - “I don’t think I cheated on her. I think there was someone… before we met. But I don’t know, it's just shapes.”

KIM KITSURAGI - “Of all the things to forget…” He sighs slightly -- he isn’t disappointed, per say, he just wishes this all were easier. “You figured it out once. You will figure it out again.”

YOU - “Maybe.”

COMPOSURE - You can’t hide the smile in your voice as you say it. You rise to return to your room, your hand hovering over the light-switch to plunge the room back into darkness.

KIM KITSURAGI - “You know there's a word for it, right?”

REACTION SPEED - For what?

YOU - “For what?”

KIM KITSURAGI - “In the underground. We have a word for, ah, *liking* multiple genders.”

YOU - Is there really? Why didn’t *you* know that?

ENCYCLOPEDIA - I -- don’t look at me! I can’t know *everything*.

LOGIC - Can you try knowing *anything*, at least?

COMPOSURE - Play it cool - you’ve got this.

YOU - “So is that… like, a thing?”

SUGGESTION - You are *such* an idiot. What a stupid thing to say.

KIM KITSURAGI - He teases you. “Oh yes, Harry, I assure you it is very much *a thing*.” He’s more serious, for a moment. “Its as natural as hetero-sexuality. Or homo-sexuality, for that matter.’

ENDURANCE - Are you sure about this? Do you really want to know the word for what you are?

HALF LIGHT - Labels are for cans! I don’t want to hear this.

CONCEPTUALIZATION  - It won’t make things *easier*, but it might help you reach *clarity*.

DRAMA - A rose by any other name, sire, would smell just as sweet! 

LOGIC - This isn’t a contract, its just knowledge. It can’t hurt you.

VOLITION - Knowledge *can* hurt you -- but this won’t.

YOU - “So… What is it? The word. For what I am - might be. That is. Uh…”

KIM KITSURAGI - “Don’t hurt yourself. We call them bi-sexual.”

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Bi-sexual. I *like* it! Twice as much sex!

VOLITION - See? You didn’t burst into flames.

KIM KITSURAGI - “There are… many different words for these things. Maybe I’ll tell you more about them -- in the morning.”

COMPOSURE - Why did the way he said ‘in the morning’ make your heart leap into your throat?

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Oh, *I* have a few theories.

YOU - “I really *might* be a part of the homo-sexual underground…”

KIM KITSURAGI - “If I had to wager a guess… I would say the odds look good.”

PERCEPTION (HEARING) - You can hear the smile in his voice. He’s happy for you.

COMPOSURE - A short bark of laughter escapes from your lips.

YOU - “G’night, Kim.”

KIM KITSURAGI - “Goodnight, Harry.”

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) - You flip the switch, and all is dark.